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(Celebslam)   5'2" Hayden Panettiere says she's marrying 6'6" Wladimir Klitschko because she wants normal-sized kids. Yep, math works out   (celebslam.celebuzz.com) divider line 48
    More: Interesting, Hayden Panettiere, Wladimir Klitschko, Ellen Degeneres  
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5481 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Dec 2013 at 1:58 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-12-03 12:12:48 PM
10 votes:
I know that when I'm in the market for normal-anythinged kids my first stop is the business end of a Chernobyl native's genitalia.
2013-12-03 12:20:30 PM
6 votes:
yeah, have fun with your 11' 8" babies.

/f*cking idiots
2013-12-03 02:19:38 PM
5 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk

"You must be this tall to ride"
2013-12-03 05:51:53 PM
4 votes:

KWess: I sat in the Lufthansa lounge with him in the Detroit airport.  I didn't immediately realize who it was, but I remember thinking 'who is that giant?'

His fists looked like cinder blocks made of ham.


Thank you for helping me to finish my detective novel. "As he pummelled me, his fists rained down like a downpour of cinderblocks made of ham. He was playing a Concerto in Pain, Fist major."
2013-12-03 12:32:27 PM
4 votes:
I read that as Hayden Planearium and was quite confused.
2013-12-03 03:52:44 PM
3 votes:
She likes rough sex.

He likes hitting people.

I see nothing but tweeting songbirds and rainbows in their future.
2013-12-03 02:20:49 PM
3 votes:
She's cute. He's attractive. Let's hate them.
2013-12-03 01:14:34 PM
3 votes:
greengabbro.net

She's a spinner?
2013-12-04 01:00:08 PM
2 votes:

FarkingReading: This is what happens to her every time they get it on:

[img.fark.net image 194x259]


She even gets her dick ripped in half?
2013-12-04 01:13:44 AM
2 votes:
i2.kym-cdn.com
PROCREATION DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!

I'm 5'9", and my wife is six feet tall.  Our three-and-a-half year old is already fitting in size 6/7 clothing and wears a size 1 shoe.  Our youngest is a wee bit smaller than her oldest sister was at 21 months.
2013-12-03 08:06:36 PM
2 votes:
www.myteespot.com
2013-12-03 07:44:39 PM
2 votes:
s1.ibtimes.com
2013-12-03 06:30:08 PM
2 votes:

SlothB77: I have a buddy that is 7'2.  He has two older brothers: 7'0 and 6'10.  His dad is like 5'7 and his mom is like 5'0.


Yeah but the mailman was 6'8
2013-12-03 05:44:53 PM
2 votes:
2013-12-03 03:59:32 PM
2 votes:

shifter_: clkeagle: Arkanaut: The math might work out, but the genes might now.

But you know what will get a workout -- her vagina! Hey-o!


Obvious jokes aside... Coming from a 6'2" guy, that's not necessarily how it works. The roomiest space I've ever invaded (so to speak) was a 5'3" girl... and the most compact by far belonged to a girl who is 6' tall. Female internal bits come in all shapes and sizes, just like most other body parts.

Yep. I agree. I married the tightest one I found. She is 5' 10". The Ex was 5'5" and you coulda parked a buick in there and not banged the doors


There's always the anus!
Ab3
2013-12-03 03:57:16 PM
2 votes:
Her?

And him?

That's a stretch.
2013-12-03 02:36:48 PM
2 votes:

Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.


The size comparison of his arms to her legs is just wierd.
She can prolly taste him when taking it doggy.
2013-12-03 02:13:14 PM
2 votes:
5'2"? Ha! I worked as an extra and had her standing next to me. I felt like I could stuff her in my pocket and make a run for it.

Heels don't count, honey...
2013-12-03 01:12:34 PM
2 votes:
RIP Hayden Planetarium

kathika.com
2013-12-03 01:08:07 PM
2 votes:
As a 6'3" man who dated a 4'11" woman, I can appreciate certain advantages to the difference in height...
2013-12-04 08:16:10 PM
1 votes:
Mrs. Grumbles is more than a foot shorter than I am. We honestly wish the difference was greater, because I like'em tiny* and she likes'em big.

*only applies to height. T&A, I like'em big, and Mrs. Grumbles doesn't looking like a 12 year old with DD cups.
2013-12-04 02:01:00 AM
1 votes:
Her vagina's gonna look like a subway tunnel, and probably have the same number of rats living in it...
2013-12-03 06:47:09 PM
1 votes:
I once dated a gril a foot shorter than I was.  Hated it.  I felt like I was was going out with a child who literally had to stand a few steps up just to make out.

And farking someone that tiny--how is it romantic having her head in your arm pit?
2013-12-03 06:45:11 PM
1 votes:
Didn't Robert Downey Jr make the remark that Hayden's mom turned her into a prostitute for the people in the hollywood elite?I wouldn't be surprised she seems kind of crazy every time I have heard her talk.
2013-12-03 06:35:37 PM
1 votes:

Fano: Laobaojun: Now the big German lady marrying the slim Chinese man, that I understand.  So the tiny, ditzy blond wants an episiotomy that goes up to her bellybutton?  

God bless her.  Have fun with that.

[cdn.necolebiatchie.com image 465x700]
[www.atbreak.com image 468x700]
[www.writetrack.com image 560x902]
[cdn.necolebiatchie.com image 550x500]
[i368.photobucket.com image 365x600][i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


Do you think he just walks around the bedroom wearing her like a codpiece, bumping in to walls and shiat?  Maybe tie her legs up near her ears and tell her to hold on to the ceiling fan?
2013-12-03 06:34:47 PM
1 votes:

dj_spanmaster: LaurenAguilera: As a short lady, I also lurve the tall and hard guys.

I think it's a genetic thing.

How YOU doin'?


*checks profile*

Not as good as I'd be if you were tall and hard?

/jk
//carry on
2013-12-03 06:30:31 PM
1 votes:

shifter_: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

The size comparison of his arms to her legs is just wierd.
She can prolly taste him when taking it doggy.


I think the image you're looking for is "when he comes off, she has to blow her nose".
2013-12-03 06:22:44 PM
1 votes:
Dude looks a whole lot bigger that 6'2" when he stands next to her.  At least 6'14" or something.
2013-12-03 05:06:21 PM
1 votes:

Clock Spider Jerusalem: You know what happens? You get a tiny woman having giant babies. Have fun with that.


that'll teach me to not hit refresh
2013-12-03 04:49:34 PM
1 votes:
You know what happens? You get a tiny woman having giant babies. Have fun with that.
2013-12-03 04:18:22 PM
1 votes:
I'll bet she ends up screaming for a c-section.
2013-12-03 03:39:40 PM
1 votes:

100 Watt Walrus: FrancoFile: Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]

That mesh top is creating a moiré pattern that makes it look much worse than it is.

Actually, no. It really is that bad.


[i.imgur.com image 560x415]
[i.imgur.com image 650x520]


The way the her meat connects to her ribs does not lend itself well to enhancement. There's no wiggle room in that valley, so instead of hills, she ended up with buildings.


Still not worse than Tara Reid, though. That mantle of horrible boob job would take a serious farkup to top. Like inserting a third boob.
2013-12-03 03:39:02 PM
1 votes:
This is what happens to her every time they get it on:

img.fark.net
2013-12-03 03:26:02 PM
1 votes:

SlothB77: I have a buddy that is 7'2.  He has two older brothers: 7'0 and 6'10.  His dad is like 5'7 and his mom is like 5'0.


But you should have seen the size of the mailman.  When he was doing his rounds it was like a wall of meat walking down the road.  It must have been hard work because when he was done visiting all the housewives delivering mail he was sorely dehydrated.
2013-12-03 03:16:58 PM
1 votes:
Well I'm 6'3", if any of you 5'5" lady farkers out there want to try there hand at the experiment.

/of course this being fark, I'm also out of shape, bitter, and smoke way too much weed (as if there were a thing)
2013-12-03 03:06:14 PM
1 votes:

nekom: Planearium


www.album-art.net
2013-12-03 03:03:44 PM
1 votes:

nekom: I read that as Hayden Planearium and was quite confused.


I can see how this could happen.

I mean, both are good places to see a full moon:

ll-media.tmz.com
2013-12-03 02:36:46 PM
1 votes:

forgotmydamnusername: offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.

Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.


A. No one under the age of 40 has ever been forced to get naked in any school locker room

B. Even if they did, no one would ever admit to looking
2013-12-03 02:21:19 PM
1 votes:
I always read here name as Hayden "Panties in the air"
2013-12-03 02:18:44 PM
1 votes:

Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.


She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.
2013-12-03 02:12:01 PM
1 votes:
Worst. Boob job. Ever.

i.imgur.comi.imgur.com

2013-12-03 02:10:01 PM
1 votes:
Yeah, that sound was Mendel yelling "GENETICS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!"
2013-12-03 02:06:03 PM
1 votes:
I hope she's got a better reason for marrying the guy than how tall he is.

/wonders if she dresses up and calls him 'Daddy' in the bedroom
//yeah I went there. window seat please
///slashies
2013-12-03 02:02:16 PM
1 votes:

calbert: yeah, have fun with your 11' 8" babies.

/f*cking idiots


They'll have a wonderful future as archaeologists

i.imgur.com
2013-12-03 01:11:53 PM
1 votes:
He would have an enormous schwanzstucker!
2013-12-03 01:06:42 PM
1 votes:
Every interview I read with this girl confirms my suspicion that she has an acute case of the batshiat crazies
2013-12-03 12:58:37 PM
1 votes:
Subby, you misspelled 'she wants enormous c*ck'. There no z in there.
2013-12-03 12:42:18 PM
1 votes:
I love all the replies. Makes me feel smert
 
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