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(Celebslam)   5'2" Hayden Panettiere says she's marrying 6'6" Wladimir Klitschko because she wants normal-sized kids. Yep, math works out   (celebslam.celebuzz.com) divider line 138
    More: Interesting, Hayden Panettiere, Wladimir Klitschko, Ellen Degeneres  
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5485 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Dec 2013 at 1:58 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



138 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-03 12:12:48 PM
I know that when I'm in the market for normal-anythinged kids my first stop is the business end of a Chernobyl native's genitalia.
 
2013-12-03 12:20:30 PM
yeah, have fun with your 11' 8" babies.

/f*cking idiots
 
2013-12-03 12:32:27 PM
I read that as Hayden Planearium and was quite confused.
 
2013-12-03 12:42:18 PM
I love all the replies. Makes me feel smert
 
2013-12-03 12:52:17 PM
media.cleveland.com
 
2013-12-03 12:58:37 PM
Subby, you misspelled 'she wants enormous c*ck'. There no z in there.
 
2013-12-03 01:06:42 PM
Every interview I read with this girl confirms my suspicion that she has an acute case of the batshiat crazies
 
2013-12-03 01:08:07 PM
As a 6'3" man who dated a 4'11" woman, I can appreciate certain advantages to the difference in height...
 
2013-12-03 01:11:53 PM
He would have an enormous schwanzstucker!
 
2013-12-03 01:12:34 PM
RIP Hayden Planetarium

kathika.com
 
2013-12-03 01:14:34 PM
greengabbro.net

She's a spinner?
 
2013-12-03 01:53:50 PM
assets-s3.usmagazine.com

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.
 
2013-12-03 02:02:16 PM

calbert: yeah, have fun with your 11' 8" babies.

/f*cking idiots


They'll have a wonderful future as archaeologists

i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-03 02:06:03 PM
I hope she's got a better reason for marrying the guy than how tall he is.

/wonders if she dresses up and calls him 'Daddy' in the bedroom
//yeah I went there. window seat please
///slashies
 
2013-12-03 02:08:38 PM
She really likes porn, I read, so she is obviously a size queen.
 
2013-12-03 02:09:34 PM

Beerguy: LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.


Like a father taking his daughter to get some ice cream...
 
2013-12-03 02:10:01 PM
Yeah, that sound was Mendel yelling "GENETICS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!"
 
2013-12-03 02:11:14 PM

StrikitRich: [greengabbro.net image 300x400]

She's a spinner?


As much as I try, I can only see that rotating clockwise (if looking from the top). Any tips on how to make it go "backwards"?
 
2013-12-03 02:12:01 PM
Worst. Boob job. Ever.

i.imgur.comi.imgur.com

 
2013-12-03 02:13:14 PM
5'2"? Ha! I worked as an extra and had her standing next to me. I felt like I could stuff her in my pocket and make a run for it.

Heels don't count, honey...
 
2013-12-03 02:15:38 PM
The math might work out, but the genes might now.

But you know what will get a workout -- her vagina! Hey-o!
 
2013-12-03 02:15:59 PM

Sweet Chin Music: Beerguy: LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

Like a father taking his daughter to get some ice cream...


Mmmm... ice cream.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-03 02:18:44 PM

Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.


She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.
 
2013-12-03 02:19:38 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

"You must be this tall to ride"
 
2013-12-03 02:20:07 PM

Kuta: StrikitRich: [greengabbro.net image 300x400]

She's a spinner?

As much as I try, I can only see that rotating clockwise (if looking from the top). Any tips on how to make it go "backwards"?


Look at the shadow her extended foot leaves. She should start flipping back and forth.
 
2013-12-03 02:20:25 PM

Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]


I disagree. trust me you can find worse on the net in under 30 sec.
I am at work so i will not do so at this time.
 
2013-12-03 02:20:49 PM
She's cute. He's attractive. Let's hate them.
 
2013-12-03 02:21:19 PM
I always read here name as Hayden "Panties in the air"
 
2013-12-03 02:22:05 PM

Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]


I assume you haven't frequented many small town strip clubs.
 
2013-12-03 02:27:20 PM

offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.



As long as her lips fit all the way around...
 
2013-12-03 02:29:56 PM

Paka Ono: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423]

"You must be this tall to ride"


CRIPES! Does he make her dress up as a school girl?
 
2013-12-03 02:30:37 PM
I CAN'T GET OVER THE SIZE OF THIS RUSSIAN!

/Yes, the quote/joke is a repeat from every other thread about this couple
 
2013-12-03 02:30:51 PM

Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]



That mesh top is creating a moiré pattern that makes it look much worse than it is.
 
2013-12-03 02:31:29 PM

Arkanaut: The math might work out, but the genes might now.

But you know what will get a workout -- her vagina! Hey-o!



Obvious jokes aside... Coming from a 6'2" guy, that's not necessarily how it works. The roomiest space I've ever invaded (so to speak) was a 5'3" girl... and the most compact by far belonged to a girl who is 6' tall. Female internal bits come in all shapes and sizes, just like most other body parts.
 
2013-12-03 02:32:42 PM

offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.


Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.
 
2013-12-03 02:34:43 PM

Beerguy: LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.


That pic looks about the same as me with my ex-wife.

/6'5"
//ex-wife was barely 5'1"
///spinnnnnnnn
 
2013-12-03 02:36:05 PM

forgotmydamnusername: offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.

Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.


Size when flaccid is not always a great indicator of size when erect.
 
2013-12-03 02:36:46 PM

forgotmydamnusername: offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.

Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.


A. No one under the age of 40 has ever been forced to get naked in any school locker room

B. Even if they did, no one would ever admit to looking
 
2013-12-03 02:36:48 PM

Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.


The size comparison of his arms to her legs is just wierd.
She can prolly taste him when taking it doggy.
 
2013-12-03 02:38:40 PM
Normal sized kids? Like 5 feet?
 
2013-12-03 02:42:15 PM
Hotdog, meet Hallway.
 
2013-12-03 02:44:48 PM

clkeagle: Arkanaut: The math might work out, but the genes might now.

But you know what will get a workout -- her vagina! Hey-o!


Obvious jokes aside... Coming from a 6'2" guy, that's not necessarily how it works. The roomiest space I've ever invaded (so to speak) was a 5'3" girl... and the most compact by far belonged to a girl who is 6' tall. Female internal bits come in all shapes and sizes, just like most other body parts.


Yep. I agree. I married the tightest one I found. She is 5' 10". The Ex was 5'5" and you coulda parked a buick in there and not banged the doors
 
2013-12-03 02:46:15 PM
I'd schko her klit. Ifyaknowatimean.
 
2013-12-03 02:46:56 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Yeah, that sound was Mendel yelling "GENETICS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!"


Mendel probably would have said nothing of the kind, given that he worked with pea plants. In pea plants tall is dominant to short. There are only two options. and there was no blending to produce an intermediate height.

A contemporary of his and relative of Darwin, Galton was among the first to discover "regression to the mean". Extremely tall people tend to have slightly shorter children and extremely short people tend to have slightly taller children. This is because human height is a polygenic trait. Several genes factor into it. Mix the genes of an extremely tall person and a short person, and you generally come out somewhere closer to the middle.

Since you get exactly half of your DNA from each parent, the kid will have a perfect blend of all its height genes. That's not to say that Hayden doesn't have some tall genes that just aren't getting the job done and the kid won't turn out to be Andre the Giant or that Vlad doesn't have some short genes and the kid will be Danny DeVito, but it's likely that it will be somewhere intermediate between the two.

Now you know... and knowing is half the battle!  Go Joe!
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-03 02:53:18 PM

groppet: Paka Ono: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423]

"You must be this tall to ride"

CRIPES! Does he make her dress up as a school girl?



I wonder if she still has the cheerleader uniform?
If not, he should get her one.
 
2013-12-03 02:54:32 PM

give me doughnuts: groppet: Paka Ono:

"You must be this tall to ride"

CRIPES! Does he make her dress up as a school girl?


I wonder if she still has the cheerleader uniform?
If not, he should get her one.



and film it so he can put it on the internet in a year when they break up
 
2013-12-03 02:55:35 PM
I sat in the Lufthansa lounge with him in the Detroit airport.  I didn't immediately realize who it was, but I remember thinking 'who is that giant?'

His fists looked like cinder blocks made of ham.
 
2013-12-03 02:56:32 PM

spman: forgotmydamnusername: offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.

Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.

A. No one under the age of 40 has ever been forced to get naked in any school locker room

B. Even if they did, no one would ever admit to looking


May want to drop that age a bit. In my 30s, not the late end, and we had to shower after gym. The only people that didn't were the ones that had gym as their final class of the day. And it's not like you have to stare at some dudes schlong to see how big it is. You can notice if some dude is packing an anaconda or garter snake pretty easily. Well for those that are the showers instead of growers at least.
 
2013-12-03 02:57:39 PM

spman: forgotmydamnusername: offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.

Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.

A. No one under the age of 40 has ever been forced to get naked in any school locker room

B. Even if they did, no one would ever admit to looking


I was and did.
39.
 
2013-12-03 03:03:44 PM

nekom: I read that as Hayden Planearium and was quite confused.


I can see how this could happen.

I mean, both are good places to see a full moon:

ll-media.tmz.com
 
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