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(Celebslam)   5'2" Hayden Panettiere says she's marrying 6'6" Wladimir Klitschko because she wants normal-sized kids. Yep, math works out   (celebslam.celebuzz.com) divider line 138
    More: Interesting, Hayden Panettiere, Wladimir Klitschko, Ellen Degeneres  
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5493 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Dec 2013 at 1:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



138 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-03 12:12:48 PM  
I know that when I'm in the market for normal-anythinged kids my first stop is the business end of a Chernobyl native's genitalia.
 
2013-12-03 12:20:30 PM  
yeah, have fun with your 11' 8" babies.

/f*cking idiots
 
2013-12-03 12:32:27 PM  
I read that as Hayden Planearium and was quite confused.
 
2013-12-03 12:42:18 PM  
I love all the replies. Makes me feel smert
 
2013-12-03 12:52:17 PM  
media.cleveland.com
 
2013-12-03 12:58:37 PM  
Subby, you misspelled 'she wants enormous c*ck'. There no z in there.
 
2013-12-03 01:06:42 PM  
Every interview I read with this girl confirms my suspicion that she has an acute case of the batshiat crazies
 
2013-12-03 01:08:07 PM  
As a 6'3" man who dated a 4'11" woman, I can appreciate certain advantages to the difference in height...
 
2013-12-03 01:11:53 PM  
He would have an enormous schwanzstucker!
 
2013-12-03 01:12:34 PM  
RIP Hayden Planetarium

kathika.com
 
2013-12-03 01:14:34 PM  
greengabbro.net

She's a spinner?
 
2013-12-03 01:53:50 PM  
assets-s3.usmagazine.com

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.
 
2013-12-03 02:02:16 PM  

calbert: yeah, have fun with your 11' 8" babies.

/f*cking idiots


They'll have a wonderful future as archaeologists

i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-03 02:06:03 PM  
I hope she's got a better reason for marrying the guy than how tall he is.

/wonders if she dresses up and calls him 'Daddy' in the bedroom
//yeah I went there. window seat please
///slashies
 
2013-12-03 02:08:38 PM  
She really likes porn, I read, so she is obviously a size queen.
 
2013-12-03 02:09:34 PM  

Beerguy: LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.


Like a father taking his daughter to get some ice cream...
 
2013-12-03 02:10:01 PM  
Yeah, that sound was Mendel yelling "GENETICS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!"
 
2013-12-03 02:11:14 PM  

StrikitRich: [greengabbro.net image 300x400]

She's a spinner?


As much as I try, I can only see that rotating clockwise (if looking from the top). Any tips on how to make it go "backwards"?
 
2013-12-03 02:12:01 PM  
Worst. Boob job. Ever.

i.imgur.comi.imgur.com

 
2013-12-03 02:13:14 PM  
5'2"? Ha! I worked as an extra and had her standing next to me. I felt like I could stuff her in my pocket and make a run for it.

Heels don't count, honey...
 
2013-12-03 02:15:38 PM  
The math might work out, but the genes might now.

But you know what will get a workout -- her vagina! Hey-o!
 
2013-12-03 02:15:59 PM  

Sweet Chin Music: Beerguy: LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

Like a father taking his daughter to get some ice cream...


Mmmm... ice cream.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-12-03 02:18:44 PM  

Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.


She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.
 
2013-12-03 02:19:38 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

"You must be this tall to ride"
 
2013-12-03 02:20:07 PM  

Kuta: StrikitRich: [greengabbro.net image 300x400]

She's a spinner?

As much as I try, I can only see that rotating clockwise (if looking from the top). Any tips on how to make it go "backwards"?


Look at the shadow her extended foot leaves. She should start flipping back and forth.
 
2013-12-03 02:20:25 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]


I disagree. trust me you can find worse on the net in under 30 sec.
I am at work so i will not do so at this time.
 
2013-12-03 02:20:49 PM  
She's cute. He's attractive. Let's hate them.
 
2013-12-03 02:21:19 PM  
I always read here name as Hayden "Panties in the air"
 
2013-12-03 02:22:05 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]


I assume you haven't frequented many small town strip clubs.
 
2013-12-03 02:27:20 PM  

offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.



As long as her lips fit all the way around...
 
2013-12-03 02:29:56 PM  

Paka Ono: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423]

"You must be this tall to ride"


CRIPES! Does he make her dress up as a school girl?
 
2013-12-03 02:30:37 PM  
I CAN'T GET OVER THE SIZE OF THIS RUSSIAN!

/Yes, the quote/joke is a repeat from every other thread about this couple
 
2013-12-03 02:30:51 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]



That mesh top is creating a moiré pattern that makes it look much worse than it is.
 
2013-12-03 02:31:29 PM  

Arkanaut: The math might work out, but the genes might now.

But you know what will get a workout -- her vagina! Hey-o!



Obvious jokes aside... Coming from a 6'2" guy, that's not necessarily how it works. The roomiest space I've ever invaded (so to speak) was a 5'3" girl... and the most compact by far belonged to a girl who is 6' tall. Female internal bits come in all shapes and sizes, just like most other body parts.
 
2013-12-03 02:32:42 PM  

offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.


Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.
 
2013-12-03 02:34:43 PM  

Beerguy: LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.


That pic looks about the same as me with my ex-wife.

/6'5"
//ex-wife was barely 5'1"
///spinnnnnnnn
 
2013-12-03 02:36:05 PM  

forgotmydamnusername: offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.

Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.


Size when flaccid is not always a great indicator of size when erect.
 
2013-12-03 02:36:46 PM  

forgotmydamnusername: offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.

Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.


A. No one under the age of 40 has ever been forced to get naked in any school locker room

B. Even if they did, no one would ever admit to looking
 
2013-12-03 02:36:48 PM  

Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.


The size comparison of his arms to her legs is just wierd.
She can prolly taste him when taking it doggy.
 
2013-12-03 02:38:40 PM  
Normal sized kids? Like 5 feet?
 
2013-12-03 02:42:15 PM  
Hotdog, meet Hallway.
 
2013-12-03 02:44:48 PM  

clkeagle: Arkanaut: The math might work out, but the genes might now.

But you know what will get a workout -- her vagina! Hey-o!


Obvious jokes aside... Coming from a 6'2" guy, that's not necessarily how it works. The roomiest space I've ever invaded (so to speak) was a 5'3" girl... and the most compact by far belonged to a girl who is 6' tall. Female internal bits come in all shapes and sizes, just like most other body parts.


Yep. I agree. I married the tightest one I found. She is 5' 10". The Ex was 5'5" and you coulda parked a buick in there and not banged the doors
 
2013-12-03 02:46:15 PM  
I'd schko her klit. Ifyaknowatimean.
 
2013-12-03 02:46:56 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: Yeah, that sound was Mendel yelling "GENETICS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!"


Mendel probably would have said nothing of the kind, given that he worked with pea plants. In pea plants tall is dominant to short. There are only two options. and there was no blending to produce an intermediate height.

A contemporary of his and relative of Darwin, Galton was among the first to discover "regression to the mean". Extremely tall people tend to have slightly shorter children and extremely short people tend to have slightly taller children. This is because human height is a polygenic trait. Several genes factor into it. Mix the genes of an extremely tall person and a short person, and you generally come out somewhere closer to the middle.

Since you get exactly half of your DNA from each parent, the kid will have a perfect blend of all its height genes. That's not to say that Hayden doesn't have some tall genes that just aren't getting the job done and the kid won't turn out to be Andre the Giant or that Vlad doesn't have some short genes and the kid will be Danny DeVito, but it's likely that it will be somewhere intermediate between the two.

Now you know... and knowing is half the battle!  Go Joe!
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-03 02:53:18 PM  

groppet: Paka Ono: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423]

"You must be this tall to ride"

CRIPES! Does he make her dress up as a school girl?



I wonder if she still has the cheerleader uniform?
If not, he should get her one.
 
2013-12-03 02:54:32 PM  

give me doughnuts: groppet: Paka Ono:

"You must be this tall to ride"

CRIPES! Does he make her dress up as a school girl?


I wonder if she still has the cheerleader uniform?
If not, he should get her one.



and film it so he can put it on the internet in a year when they break up
 
2013-12-03 02:55:35 PM  
I sat in the Lufthansa lounge with him in the Detroit airport.  I didn't immediately realize who it was, but I remember thinking 'who is that giant?'

His fists looked like cinder blocks made of ham.
 
2013-12-03 02:56:32 PM  

spman: forgotmydamnusername: offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.

Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.

A. No one under the age of 40 has ever been forced to get naked in any school locker room

B. Even if they did, no one would ever admit to looking


May want to drop that age a bit. In my 30s, not the late end, and we had to shower after gym. The only people that didn't were the ones that had gym as their final class of the day. And it's not like you have to stare at some dudes schlong to see how big it is. You can notice if some dude is packing an anaconda or garter snake pretty easily. Well for those that are the showers instead of growers at least.
 
2013-12-03 02:57:39 PM  

spman: forgotmydamnusername: offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.

Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.

A. No one under the age of 40 has ever been forced to get naked in any school locker room

B. Even if they did, no one would ever admit to looking


I was and did.
39.
 
2013-12-03 03:03:44 PM  

nekom: I read that as Hayden Planearium and was quite confused.


I can see how this could happen.

I mean, both are good places to see a full moon:

ll-media.tmz.com
 
2013-12-03 03:06:14 PM  

nekom: Planearium


www.album-art.net
 
2013-12-03 03:07:14 PM  
That's exactly how genetics works.  It takes perfect averages.
 
2013-12-03 03:08:40 PM  

SlothB77: That's exactly how genetics works.  It takes perfect averages.


That'd be scary, having all my children look exactly the same.
 
2013-12-03 03:08:44 PM  
I have a buddy that is 7'2.  He has two older brothers: 7'0 and 6'10.  His dad is like 5'7 and his mom is like 5'0.
 
2013-12-03 03:16:58 PM  
Well I'm 6'3", if any of you 5'5" lady farkers out there want to try there hand at the experiment.

/of course this being fark, I'm also out of shape, bitter, and smoke way too much weed (as if there were a thing)
 
2013-12-03 03:17:59 PM  

calbert: yeah, have fun with your 11' 8" babies.

/f*cking idiots


Do you take everything celebrities say literally, or are you just too dumbstruck by pretty girls to realize when they're kidding?
 
2013-12-03 03:18:16 PM  

tjsands1118: Well I'm 6'3", if any of you 5'5" lady farkers out there want to try there hand at the experiment.

/of course this being fark, I'm also out of shape, bitter, and smoke way too much weed (as if there were a thing)


Are you, me?
 
2013-12-03 03:18:52 PM  

SlothB77: I have a buddy that is 7'2.  He has two older brothers: 7'0 and 6'10.  His dad is like 5'7 and his mom is like 5'0.


i think childhood nutrition (and other non-genetic factors) may take a role in ultimate height.  so, say you have all tall jeans, but exist at starvation levels the first 20 years of your life.  maybe you won't grow as much as you should.  or you have short genes, but you eat nothing by growth hormone beef.

/ who knows.  i just assume there are more factors than we have considered so far.
 
2013-12-03 03:19:48 PM  

brap: I know that when I'm in the market for normal-anythinged kids my first stop is the business end of a Chernobyl native's genitalia.


*snert*
 
2013-12-03 03:23:28 PM  

pute kisses like a man: SlothB77: I have a buddy that is 7'2.  He has two older brothers: 7'0 and 6'10.  His dad is like 5'7 and his mom is like 5'0.

i think childhood nutrition (and other non-genetic factors) may take a role in ultimate height.  so, say you have all tall jeans, but exist at starvation levels the first 20 years of your life.  maybe you won't grow as much as you should.  or you have short genes, but you eat nothing by growth hormone beef.

/ who knows.  i just assume there are more factors than we have considered so far.


I have a friend whose parent were born and raised in 1940/1950's China. Friend and his brother were born in 1960/1970's USA. The sons are both one foot taller than the parents.
 
2013-12-03 03:24:31 PM  

pute kisses like a man: / who knows.  i just assume there are more factors than we have considered so far.


All sorts of crazy stuff influences height and weight, like if your grandparent experienced starvation as a teenager (seriously).

Epigenetics is weird.
 
2013-12-03 03:25:39 PM  

spman: forgotmydamnusername: offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.

Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.

A. No one under the age of 40 has ever been forced to get naked in any school locker room

B. Even if they did, no one would ever admit to looking


My swimming classes in the mid 90s absolutely required you to get naked.  You had to take off the school-provided swim suit, put it in a bin and then walk naked back to your locker to get dressed.  Yes, it was awkward.  No, I didn't look around (why bother when I've got what they have?)
 
2013-12-03 03:26:02 PM  

SlothB77: I have a buddy that is 7'2.  He has two older brothers: 7'0 and 6'10.  His dad is like 5'7 and his mom is like 5'0.


But you should have seen the size of the mailman.  When he was doing his rounds it was like a wall of meat walking down the road.  It must have been hard work because when he was done visiting all the housewives delivering mail he was sorely dehydrated.
 
2013-12-03 03:27:13 PM  

FrancoFile: Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]

That mesh top is creating a moiré pattern that makes it look much worse than it is.


Actually, no. It really is that bad.


i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com



The way the her meat connects to her ribs does not lend itself well to enhancement. There's no wiggle room in that valley, so instead of hills, she ended up with buildings.
 
2013-12-03 03:27:51 PM  

SlothB77: I have a buddy that is 7'2.  He has two older brothers: 7'0 and 6'10.  His dad is like 5'7 and his mom is like 5'0.


There's a very good chance that both suffered from malnutrition as children.
 
2013-12-03 03:39:02 PM  
This is what happens to her every time they get it on:

img.fark.net
 
2013-12-03 03:39:40 PM  

100 Watt Walrus: FrancoFile: Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]

That mesh top is creating a moiré pattern that makes it look much worse than it is.

Actually, no. It really is that bad.


[i.imgur.com image 560x415]
[i.imgur.com image 650x520]


The way the her meat connects to her ribs does not lend itself well to enhancement. There's no wiggle room in that valley, so instead of hills, she ended up with buildings.


Still not worse than Tara Reid, though. That mantle of horrible boob job would take a serious farkup to top. Like inserting a third boob.
 
2013-12-03 03:40:05 PM  

spman: forgotmydamnusername: offacue: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

She probably can't even reach all the way around his cawk.

Did none of you ever participate in a sport, or even get forced to take PE in school? A quick, cursory glance around a locker room should demonstrate that genitalia size does not seem to have any direct correlation with overall body size. The woman probably really is just hoping for offspring that can pull stuff off the top shelf of the refrigerator without having to stand on a chair.

A. No one under the age of 40 has ever been forced to get naked in any school locker room

B. Even if they did, no one would ever admit to looking


A. 38 here and was forced
B. Never "looked" but saw
 
2013-12-03 03:46:28 PM  
There is more discussion in this thread about Chernobyl genitalia than there is about one fine ass woman. There is something incorrect here.
 
2013-12-03 03:51:01 PM  
As a 6'7" farker, I'd just like to say that proportionally, all of my extremities/appendages are longer than what's claimed to be average.  Which is nice.  Makes up for all the farkstick clothing I have to wear since nothing else fits.  My first "conquest" was 5'3"and my ego never had it so good.  Once you go tall, you never go small.
 
2013-12-03 03:52:44 PM  
She likes rough sex.

He likes hitting people.

I see nothing but tweeting songbirds and rainbows in their future.
 
2013-12-03 03:53:21 PM  

100 Watt Walrus: FrancoFile: Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]

That mesh top is creating a moiré pattern that makes it look much worse than it is.

Actually, no. It really is that bad.


[i.imgur.com image 560x415]
[i.imgur.com image 650x520]


The way the her meat connects to her ribs does not lend itself well to enhancement. There's no wiggle room in that valley, so instead of hills, she ended up with buildings.


She went one cup size too perky.

I feel sorry for her; she was clearly flattish and 'down-and-out' before, which is about the worst combination you can be, aesthetically speaking. So in addition to filling/rounding out, she also had the girls brought about front and center. Only problem is, you can move the adipose tissue, but you won't be moving the muscle and bone underneath.

She will not age well between the navel and the collarbone.
 
Ab3
2013-12-03 03:57:16 PM  
Her?

And him?

That's a stretch.
 
2013-12-03 03:59:32 PM  

shifter_: clkeagle: Arkanaut: The math might work out, but the genes might now.

But you know what will get a workout -- her vagina! Hey-o!


Obvious jokes aside... Coming from a 6'2" guy, that's not necessarily how it works. The roomiest space I've ever invaded (so to speak) was a 5'3" girl... and the most compact by far belonged to a girl who is 6' tall. Female internal bits come in all shapes and sizes, just like most other body parts.

Yep. I agree. I married the tightest one I found. She is 5' 10". The Ex was 5'5" and you coulda parked a buick in there and not banged the doors


There's always the anus!
 
2013-12-03 04:05:48 PM  

The_Six_Fingered_Man: 100 Watt Walrus: FrancoFile: Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]

That mesh top is creating a moiré pattern that makes it look much worse than it is.

Actually, no. It really is that bad.


[i.imgur.com image 560x415]
[i.imgur.com image 650x520]


The way the her meat connects to her ribs does not lend itself well to enhancement. There's no wiggle room in that valley, so instead of hills, she ended up with buildings.

Still not worse than Tara Reid, though. That mantle of horrible boob job would take a serious farkup to top. Like inserting a third boob.


No doubt. I'm just saying, this is a bad enhancement. I suspect, however, that there was little chance of a good one given the original configuration. With a valley that wide, there's a musculature issue. What I'd wonder is if her surgeon warned her of the potential of a goofy spoon valley or if the goofy spoon valley came as a surprise to her.

Based on the way she's dressed since the boob job, I can only assume she doesn't realize how bad it looks.
 
2013-12-03 04:07:33 PM  

whistleridge: 100 Watt Walrus: FrancoFile: Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]

That mesh top is creating a moiré pattern that makes it look much worse than it is.

Actually, no. It really is that bad.


[i.imgur.com image 560x415]
[i.imgur.com image 650x520]


The way the her meat connects to her ribs does not lend itself well to enhancement. There's no wiggle room in that valley, so instead of hills, she ended up with buildings.

She went one cup size too perky.

I feel sorry for her; she was clearly flattish and 'down-and-out' before, which is about the worst combination you can be, aesthetically speaking. So in addition to filling/rounding out, she also had the girls brought about front and center. Only problem is, you can move the adipose tissue, but you won't be moving the muscle and bone underneath.

She will not age well between the navel and the collarbone.


Bingo. Goofy spoon valley.
 
2013-12-03 04:11:16 PM  
I'd stick it in her pooper.
 
2013-12-03 04:18:22 PM  
I'll bet she ends up screaming for a c-section.
 
2013-12-03 04:47:16 PM  
I can totally see where she's coming from.

I am 5'3" and my wife is 5'9". I exclusively dated taller girls for this exact same reason (unfortunately this also meant I could never date other Asians).

My son, who is 11 months old was born 2lbs heavier than I was and has been consistently on the 65th percentile with height which makes me very happy.

I don't care whether he would be tall enough to play basketball or whatever, I would just like for him to be normal/average. As it is, even if he were he would still get slack for being the shortest but eugenics isn't done in one generation.
 
2013-12-03 04:49:34 PM  
You know what happens? You get a tiny woman having giant babies. Have fun with that.
 
2013-12-03 05:00:54 PM  
Now the big German lady marrying the slim Chinese man, that I understand.  So the tiny, ditzy blond wants an episiotomy that goes up to her bellybutton?  

God bless her.  Have fun with that.
 
2013-12-03 05:04:07 PM  
She may find that the baby is just too farking huge for her frame.
 
2013-12-03 05:06:21 PM  

Clock Spider Jerusalem: You know what happens? You get a tiny woman having giant babies. Have fun with that.


that'll teach me to not hit refresh
 
2013-12-03 05:15:11 PM  
Which one of them beat the crap out of Lennox Lewis?   That was probably the last great heavyweight fight I've seen.

I hope that's this guy.
 
2013-12-03 05:24:29 PM  
As a short lady, I also lurve the tall and hard guys.

I think it's a genetic thing.
 
2013-12-03 05:28:36 PM  

LaurenAguilera: As a short lady, I also lurve the tall and hard guys.

I think it's a genetic thing.


How YOU doin'?
 
2013-12-03 05:44:15 PM  

Laobaojun: Now the big German lady marrying the slim Chinese man, that I understand.  So the tiny, ditzy blond wants an episiotomy that goes up to her bellybutton?  

God bless her.  Have fun with that.


cdn.necolebitchie.com
www.atbreak.com
www.writetrack.com
cdn.necolebitchie.com
i368.photobucket.comi1.ytimg.com
 
2013-12-03 05:44:53 PM  
 
2013-12-03 05:47:24 PM  

spman: Every interview I read with this girl confirms my suspicion that she has an acute case of the batshiat crazies


Acute case? It's downright adorable.

(HP threads are the BEST!!!)
 
2013-12-03 05:51:53 PM  

KWess: I sat in the Lufthansa lounge with him in the Detroit airport.  I didn't immediately realize who it was, but I remember thinking 'who is that giant?'

His fists looked like cinder blocks made of ham.


Thank you for helping me to finish my detective novel. "As he pummelled me, his fists rained down like a downpour of cinderblocks made of ham. He was playing a Concerto in Pain, Fist major."
 
2013-12-03 05:56:58 PM  
spman:  No one under the age of 40 has ever been forced to get naked in any school locker room

 cdn.newsoxy.com

Disagrees
 
2013-12-03 06:00:36 PM  

Sweet Chin Music: Beerguy: LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

Like a father taking his daughter to get some ice cream...


Well, some cream anyway.
 
2013-12-03 06:22:44 PM  
Dude looks a whole lot bigger that 6'2" when he stands next to her.  At least 6'14" or something.
 
2013-12-03 06:30:08 PM  

SlothB77: I have a buddy that is 7'2.  He has two older brothers: 7'0 and 6'10.  His dad is like 5'7 and his mom is like 5'0.


Yeah but the mailman was 6'8
 
2013-12-03 06:30:31 PM  

shifter_: Beerguy: [assets-s3.usmagazine.com image 467x431]

LOOK AT THE HANDS......HOLY FARK.

The size comparison of his arms to her legs is just wierd.
She can prolly taste him when taking it doggy.


I think the image you're looking for is "when he comes off, she has to blow her nose".
 
2013-12-03 06:31:54 PM  

Saiga410: SlothB77: I have a buddy that is 7'2.  He has two older brothers: 7'0 and 6'10.  His dad is like 5'7 and his mom is like 5'0.

But you should have seen the size of the mailman.  When he was doing his rounds it was like a wall of meat walking down the road.  It must have been hard work because when he was done visiting all the housewives delivering mail he was sorely dehydrated.


Grr...tiny fist etc.,

It was too obvious for someone else to NOT have tried it before comment 94.  Le Sigh
 
2013-12-03 06:33:15 PM  

Rent Party: Which one of them beat the crap out of Lennox Lewis?   That was probably the last great heavyweight fight I've seen.

I hope that's this guy.


His older brother, Vtali. He's an order of magnitude harder than Wladimir. Lennox Lewis beat the crap out of Vitali, too. The Klitschko brother lost that one on cuts. Most heavywieghts getting caught flush by the bombs either guy was throwing would have instantly gone to sleep. This includes little brother, who has been KTFO by 3 guys who were only a shade better than journeymen.
 
2013-12-03 06:34:47 PM  

dj_spanmaster: LaurenAguilera: As a short lady, I also lurve the tall and hard guys.

I think it's a genetic thing.

How YOU doin'?


*checks profile*

Not as good as I'd be if you were tall and hard?

/jk
//carry on
 
2013-12-03 06:35:37 PM  

Fano: Laobaojun: Now the big German lady marrying the slim Chinese man, that I understand.  So the tiny, ditzy blond wants an episiotomy that goes up to her bellybutton?  

God bless her.  Have fun with that.

[cdn.necolebiatchie.com image 465x700]
[www.atbreak.com image 468x700]
[www.writetrack.com image 560x902]
[cdn.necolebiatchie.com image 550x500]
[i368.photobucket.com image 365x600][i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]


Do you think he just walks around the bedroom wearing her like a codpiece, bumping in to walls and shiat?  Maybe tie her legs up near her ears and tell her to hold on to the ceiling fan?
 
2013-12-03 06:45:11 PM  
Didn't Robert Downey Jr make the remark that Hayden's mom turned her into a prostitute for the people in the hollywood elite?I wouldn't be surprised she seems kind of crazy every time I have heard her talk.
 
2013-12-03 06:47:09 PM  
I once dated a gril a foot shorter than I was.  Hated it.  I felt like I was was going out with a child who literally had to stand a few steps up just to make out.

And farking someone that tiny--how is it romantic having her head in your arm pit?
 
2013-12-03 06:49:20 PM  

TheGhostofFarkPast: Didn't Robert Downey Jr make the remark that Hayden's mom turned her into a prostitute for the people in the hollywood elite?I wouldn't be surprised she seems kind of crazy every time I have heard her talk.



Yeah--whatever happened about that?  Is it considered true, or a joke that went sideways?
 
2013-12-03 07:02:03 PM  

fickenchucker: TheGhostofFarkPast: Didn't Robert Downey Jr make the remark that Hayden's mom turned her into a prostitute for the people in the hollywood elite?I wouldn't be surprised she seems kind of crazy every time I have heard her talk.


Yeah--whatever happened about that?  Is it considered true, or a joke that went sideways?


A lot of child stars are abused on one way or another in a sexual manner.  It's considered distinctly possible in this case.


Whatever the case, she's a lot less screwed up than most, so good on her.  So many are really farked in the head.

It may not even have been a lot of abuse(or any actual abuse), but constant sickening of working with leering old men and the like who were just a bit too friendly(but never actually did anything, not necessarily for lack of trying).  Doesn't take much to screw up a kid.

I'm pretty sure that's what happened with Bynes.  She was actually pretty, and it got her the wrong kind of attention, so she made herself ugly.
 
2013-12-03 07:17:55 PM  
I'd give her my normal size penis, if ya know what I mean
 
2013-12-03 07:44:39 PM  
s1.ibtimes.com
 
2013-12-03 08:06:36 PM  
www.myteespot.com
 
2013-12-03 08:20:11 PM  

forgotmydamnusername: Rent Party: Which one of them beat the crap out of Lennox Lewis?   That was probably the last great heavyweight fight I've seen.

I hope that's this guy.

His older brother, Vtali. He's an order of magnitude harder than Wladimir. Lennox Lewis beat the crap out of Vitali, too. The Klitschko brother lost that one on cuts. Most heavywieghts getting caught flush by the bombs either guy was throwing would have instantly gone to sleep. This includes little brother, who has been KTFO by 3 guys who were only a shade better than journeymen.


Lewis got creamed in that fight.   Vitali was killing him.  Lewis was damn near crying during the post bout interview.  The only thing that stopped it was the cut over Vitali's eye, and no one but the official thought it was that bad.
 
2013-12-03 08:31:26 PM  
This thread needs more of that dude she's marrying.
 
2013-12-03 09:11:17 PM  

Rent Party: forgotmydamnusername: Rent Party: Which one of them beat the crap out of Lennox Lewis?   That was probably the last great heavyweight fight I've seen.

I hope that's this guy.

His older brother, Vtali. He's an order of magnitude harder than Wladimir. Lennox Lewis beat the crap out of Vitali, too. The Klitschko brother lost that one on cuts. Most heavywieghts getting caught flush by the bombs either guy was throwing would have instantly gone to sleep. This includes little brother, who has been KTFO by 3 guys who were only a shade better than journeymen.

Lewis got creamed in that fight.   Vitali was killing him.  Lewis was damn near crying during the post bout interview.  The only thing that stopped it was the cut over Vitali's eye, and no one but the official thought it was that bad.


You can find the fight on youtube. Watch it again. Klitschko won every round but the last, which might have been even, but he did get caught with some big shots, even so. I've seen fights stopped for cuts noticeably less bad than that, too. It ain't the 1950s, when Marciano fought most of a title fight with his nose literally split in half.
 
2013-12-03 09:41:16 PM  
she sounds stupid, i'd be sick of her in 24 hours

seriously, a boob job at that age when you're already beautiful?
i couldn't handle the insecurity of such a bimbette
 
2013-12-03 10:10:21 PM  

mediablitz: As a 6'3" man who dated a 4'11" woman, I can appreciate certain advantages to the difference in height...


Did she have a flat spot on her head where you could rest your beer?
 
2013-12-03 10:15:27 PM  

forgotmydamnusername: Rent Party: forgotmydamnusername: Rent Party: Which one of them beat the crap out of Lennox Lewis?   That was probably the last great heavyweight fight I've seen.

I hope that's this guy.

His older brother, Vtali. He's an order of magnitude harder than Wladimir. Lennox Lewis beat the crap out of Vitali, too. The Klitschko brother lost that one on cuts. Most heavywieghts getting caught flush by the bombs either guy was throwing would have instantly gone to sleep. This includes little brother, who has been KTFO by 3 guys who were only a shade better than journeymen.

Lewis got creamed in that fight.   Vitali was killing him.  Lewis was damn near crying during the post bout interview.  The only thing that stopped it was the cut over Vitali's eye, and no one but the official thought it was that bad.

You can find the fight on youtube. Watch it again. Klitschko won every round but the last, which might have been even, but he did get caught with some big shots, even so. I've seen fights stopped for cuts noticeably less bad than that, too. It ain't the 1950s, when Marciano fought most of a title fight with his nose literally split in half.


Was that against Ezzard Charles?

He was my dad's favorite boxer. Even named a cat after him.
 
2013-12-03 10:43:12 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Worst. Boob job. Ever.[i.imgur.com image 445x650][i.imgur.com image 374x650]


It's sad, because they were pretty darn cute before.  Bigger does not necessarily mean better.  On that stature of body, Jennifer Aniston tits are perfect, and that's what Hayden used to have.  I don't know what she was thinking.
 
2013-12-03 11:07:52 PM  

forgotmydamnusername: Rent Party: forgotmydamnusername: Rent Party: Which one of them beat the crap out of Lennox Lewis?   That was probably the last great heavyweight fight I've seen.

I hope that's this guy.

His older brother, Vtali. He's an order of magnitude harder than Wladimir. Lennox Lewis beat the crap out of Vitali, too. The Klitschko brother lost that one on cuts. Most heavywieghts getting caught flush by the bombs either guy was throwing would have instantly gone to sleep. This includes little brother, who has been KTFO by 3 guys who were only a shade better than journeymen.

Lewis got creamed in that fight.   Vitali was killing him.  Lewis was damn near crying during the post bout interview.  The only thing that stopped it was the cut over Vitali's eye, and no one but the official thought it was that bad.

You can find the fight on youtube. Watch it again. Klitschko won every round but the last, which might have been even, but he did get caught with some big shots, even so. I've seen fights stopped for cuts noticeably less bad than that, too. It ain't the 1950s, when Marciano fought most of a title fight with his nose literally split in half.


Oh sure, I'm not knocking Lewis at all.  I'm just saying Klitchko kicked his ass that night.  :D

Off to Youtube...
 
2013-12-03 11:50:54 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: forgotmydamnusername: Rent Party: forgotmydamnusername: Rent Party: Which one of them beat the crap out of Lennox Lewis?   That was probably the last great heavyweight fight I've seen.

I hope that's this guy.

His older brother, Vtali. He's an order of magnitude harder than Wladimir. Lennox Lewis beat the crap out of Vitali, too. The Klitschko brother lost that one on cuts. Most heavywieghts getting caught flush by the bombs either guy was throwing would have instantly gone to sleep. This includes little brother, who has been KTFO by 3 guys who were only a shade better than journeymen.

Lewis got creamed in that fight.   Vitali was killing him.  Lewis was damn near crying during the post bout interview.  The only thing that stopped it was the cut over Vitali's eye, and no one but the official thought it was that bad.

You can find the fight on youtube. Watch it again. Klitschko won every round but the last, which might have been even, but he did get caught with some big shots, even so. I've seen fights stopped for cuts noticeably less bad than that, too. It ain't the 1950s, when Marciano fought most of a title fight with his nose literally split in half.

Was that against Ezzard Charles?

He was my dad's favorite boxer. Even named a cat after him.


The second Ezzard Charles fight. If his defense had been a little tighter, Charles would have won the second fight for sure, and maybe even the first. As it was, Marciano got inside a little too often, and you couldn't win like that. Of course, in 49 tries, nobody else managed to keep Marciano from doing that, either.
 
2013-12-03 11:52:11 PM  

mediablitz: As a 6'3" man who dated a 4'11" woman, I can appreciate certain advantages to the difference in height...




Yeah, I'm 6'3", and my one girlfriend many years ago was probably only 5'2". She was great. She seemed to get off on how much bigger and stronger I was than her. The way I could just grab her hands with one hand, and tickle her while she was completely helpless. Good times while they lasted...
 
2013-12-04 01:13:44 AM  
i2.kym-cdn.com
PROCREATION DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!

I'm 5'9", and my wife is six feet tall.  Our three-and-a-half year old is already fitting in size 6/7 clothing and wears a size 1 shoe.  Our youngest is a wee bit smaller than her oldest sister was at 21 months.
 
2013-12-04 01:32:59 AM  
She just wants a really big cock! Nothing wrong with that! Just being truthful here.

I saw the pictures and the thought of the acrobatics with a size difference of that much... It would be like a ride, a really.........um, fun ride. Actually my husband is the shortest guy I ever dated, I like tall men. All the others were....tall.

I'm five foot two, my old man is five seven, five eight. Our oldest, she barely made it to five foot even and our son is five six. I've always thought some things are random. In my family we ran the gamut from very tall to very short.

Most of the time you get familial looks in some way, certain eye, hair or skin coloring, especially if there are strong ethnic features. Yes, sometimes height can be a family trait, either many rather tall or many quite short. I know families that are from one extreme to the other.
 
2013-12-04 02:01:00 AM  
Her vagina's gonna look like a subway tunnel, and probably have the same number of rats living in it...
 
2013-12-04 02:10:57 AM  
"5'2" Hayden Panettiere tells Ellen DeGeneres that her main motivation behind marrying 6'6" boxing pro Wladimir Klitschko is because he's hung like a Siberian Musk Deer. "

They could have just stopped the article at that point.  All the truth you needed to know is in that sentence right there.
 
2013-12-04 02:20:05 AM  
I used to have a college friend who was 4'9".  Being 6'1", I'd drop down on one knee to give her a hug.  She was a redhead, and for Halloween liked to dress up in a Starfleet uniform as a miniature Beverly Crusher.

Nah, we didn't do anything.  She had a boyfriend before I met her, and she eventually married him.  I think he was 5'4" or less himself.
 
2013-12-04 02:22:24 AM  

OK So Amuse Me: She just wants a really big cock! Nothing wrong with that! Just being truthful here.

I saw the pictures and the thought of the acrobatics with a size difference of that much... It would be like a ride, a really.........um, fun ride. Actually my husband is the shortest guy I ever dated, I like tall men. All the others were....tall.

I'm five foot two, my old man is five seven, five eight. Our oldest, she barely made it to five foot even and our son is five six. I've always thought some things are random. In my family we ran the gamut from very tall to very short.

Most of the time you get familial looks in some way, certain eye, hair or skin coloring, especially if there are strong ethnic features. Yes, sometimes height can be a family trait, either many rather tall or many quite short. I know families that are from one extreme to the other.


Who in your family was tall? Your post doesn't make that clear.
 
2013-12-04 03:12:59 AM  
Echoing what the other tall farkers have said.

At 6'6" I've dated my fair share of 4'11-5'3" women.
Don't see much what's wrong in their height difference.

The woman not having too much going for her, is another story.
 
2013-12-04 07:41:10 AM  
That lucky son of a b*tch
 
2013-12-04 08:01:47 AM  

bulok: I can totally see where she's coming from.

I am 5'3" and my wife is 5'9". I exclusively dated taller girls for this exact same reason (unfortunately this also meant I could never date other Asians).

My son, who is 11 months old was born 2lbs heavier than I was and has been consistently on the 65th percentile with height which makes me very happy.

I don't care whether he would be tall enough to play basketball or whatever, I would just like for him to be normal/average. As it is, even if he were he would still get slack for being the shortest but eugenics isn't done in one generation.


Why does it matter, l'il dad? You're breathing proof that even little dudes can still get some beaver.
 
2013-12-04 08:47:28 AM  

CigaretteSmokingMan: I'll bet she ends up screaming for a c-section.


Unlikely...not impossible but unlikely.

6'4" Farker here, married to a 5'4" hell-of-a-woman. Tall runs in my family, it doesn't in hers.

When I was born, I was 10lbs 7oz. Our son: a pretty average 7lbs and change.

However, at 14 he's over 6'2" tall. At his age I was nowhere near that height and I had a pretty decent middle-class, good nutritioned upbringing.

So ya, who knows which way it could go. But getting there is half all the fun :)
 
2013-12-04 08:48:35 AM  

gryhnd: But getting there is half all the fun :)


That should have been "But getting there is half all the fun :) "
 
2013-12-04 08:51:27 AM  

bluorangefyre: PROCREATION DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!

I'm 5'9", and my wife is six feet tall.  Our three-and-a-half year old is already fitting in size 6/7 clothing and wears a size 1 shoe.  Our youngest is a wee bit smaller than her oldest sister was at 21 months.


See my previous post. Procreation most certainly CAN work that way. At 6' your wife is well above average for a woman, and at 5'9 you're right about average. Between the two of you, you have plenty of height genes to pass on to your offspring. If they happen to get all the tall genes, your kids will be tall.

When you have two extremes like Hayden and her hubby, odds are good that the kid ends up somewhere in the middle, but it's not out of the question that it will be more to one extreme.

Science!
 
2013-12-04 09:22:32 AM  

Fano: KWess: I sat in the Lufthansa lounge with him in the Detroit airport.  I didn't immediately realize who it was, but I remember thinking 'who is that giant?'

His fists looked like cinder blocks made of ham.

Thank you for helping me to finish my detective novel. "As he pummelled me, his fists rained down like a downpour of cinderblocks made of ham. He was playing a Concerto in Pain, Fist major."


That's bloody awesome.
 
2013-12-04 11:14:21 AM  
Toit like a toiger!
 
2013-12-04 01:00:08 PM  

FarkingReading: This is what happens to her every time they get it on:

[img.fark.net image 194x259]


She even gets her dick ripped in half?
 
2013-12-04 02:20:42 PM  

cygnusx13: bulok: I can totally see where she's coming from.

I am 5'3" and my wife is 5'9". I exclusively dated taller girls for this exact same reason (unfortunately this also meant I could never date other Asians).

My son, who is 11 months old was born 2lbs heavier than I was and has been consistently on the 65th percentile with height which makes me very happy.

I don't care whether he would be tall enough to play basketball or whatever, I would just like for him to be normal/average. As it is, even if he were he would still get slack for being the shortest but eugenics isn't done in one generation.

Why does it matter, l'il dad? You're breathing proof that even little dudes can still get some beaver.


LOL nothing to do with getting beaver, my cousin (in grey) who is not much taller than me does even better with the ladies (the one in the pic is not as hot as his current gf). It's not really the height but it's all about the game. My main gripe is needing a foot stool every time I need to reach something. It just gets frustrating, plus a man of my impressive girth has problems finding clothes my size for my height. Don't want my kid having the same issues

img.fark.net
 
2013-12-04 02:38:25 PM  

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Her vagina's gonna look like a subway tunnel, and probably have the same number of rats living in it...


I think it's funny that people assume that just because a guy is really big, that must mean his equipment is big, too.

I have it on good authority that this is not the case. In fact, more often than not the big guys have little peckers; And they get smaller when they get musclebound or do steroids, like many of these athletes do.

Or to sum up:

klipd.com
 
2013-12-04 02:39:38 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: forgotmydamnusername: Rent Party: forgotmydamnusername: Rent Party: Which one of them beat the crap out of Lennox Lewis?   That was probably the last great heavyweight fight I've seen.

I hope that's this guy.

His older brother, Vtali. He's an order of magnitude harder than Wladimir. Lennox Lewis beat the crap out of Vitali, too. The Klitschko brother lost that one on cuts. Most heavywieghts getting caught flush by the bombs either guy was throwing would have instantly gone to sleep. This includes little brother, who has been KTFO by 3 guys who were only a shade better than journeymen.

Lewis got creamed in that fight.   Vitali was killing him.  Lewis was damn near crying during the post bout interview.  The only thing that stopped it was the cut over Vitali's eye, and no one but the official thought it was that bad.

You can find the fight on youtube. Watch it again. Klitschko won every round but the last, which might have been even, but he did get caught with some big shots, even so. I've seen fights stopped for cuts noticeably less bad than that, too. It ain't the 1950s, when Marciano fought most of a title fight with his nose literally split in half.

Was that against Ezzard Charles?

He was my dad's favorite boxer. Even named a cat after him.


The first time my parents - who are Scottish - came to visit me in Cincinnati, they had to take a cab from their hotel to my apartment. The taxi driver took them along Ezzard Charles Drive. My dad asked the cab driver, a black guy, who Ezzard Charles was.

'Farked if I know' came the response.

/did not rip dad off
 
2013-12-04 03:38:19 PM  

TheEdibleSnuggie: "5'2" Hayden Panettiere tells Ellen DeGeneres that her main motivation behind marrying 6'6" boxing pro Wladimir Klitschko is because he's hung like a Siberian Musk Deer. "

They could have just stopped the article at that point.  All the truth you needed to know is in that sentence right there.


Ah, I see. She's his beard.
 
2013-12-04 04:51:02 PM  

bulok: cygnusx13: bulok: I can totally see where she's coming from.

I am 5'3" and my wife is 5'9". I exclusively dated taller girls for this exact same reason (unfortunately this also meant I could never date other Asians).

My son, who is 11 months old was born 2lbs heavier than I was and has been consistently on the 65th percentile with height which makes me very happy.

I don't care whether he would be tall enough to play basketball or whatever, I would just like for him to be normal/average. As it is, even if he were he would still get slack for being the shortest but eugenics isn't done in one generation.

Why does it matter, l'il dad? You're breathing proof that even little dudes can still get some beaver.

LOL nothing to do with getting beaver, my cousin (in grey) who is not much taller than me does even better with the ladies (the one in the pic is not as hot as his current gf). It's not really the height but it's all about the game. My main gripe is needing a foot stool every time I need to reach something. It just gets frustrating, plus a man of my impressive girth has problems finding clothes my size for my height. Don't want my kid having the same issues


Have the one on the left and the she-giant on the right bathed, perfumed and brought to my chambers.
 
2013-12-04 05:54:51 PM  
Guys who date women that are much shorter than them are weirdos.

Nothing I love more than doing it and staring at a pillow, while I receive passionate belly button kisses from my lady.
 
2013-12-04 08:16:10 PM  
Mrs. Grumbles is more than a foot shorter than I am. We honestly wish the difference was greater, because I like'em tiny* and she likes'em big.

*only applies to height. T&A, I like'em big, and Mrs. Grumbles doesn't looking like a 12 year old with DD cups.
 
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