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(Charlotte Observer)   Couple takes "Till Death Do Us Part" to eleven   (charlotteobserver.com) divider line 25
    More: Cool, isn't it ironic, Union County, Frank Turner  
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9649 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2013 at 5:21 AM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



25 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-03 12:43:22 AM
That's a very sad, sweet story. Kind of like Jefferson and Adams, but with the P in the V.
 
2013-12-03 01:50:08 AM
So here is the saddest story I know.

I know a couple who was married for almost 50 years. She began having dementia that affected her short term memory. She could remember anything except the last few months of her life.  He had years of alcoholism and depression, but finally got to the point where he realize he couldn't go on.  So checked into the same nursing home as his wife...got to share the room.

The day he moved in, he had a heart attack and died in her arms.  The next day, when my friend went to see his mom-the first thing she asked was "Has your father checked in yet?"  She had completely forgot he died the day before.  And soon, she passed herself.
 
2013-12-03 03:31:12 AM
That's what you get for buying the limited warranty.
 
2013-12-03 03:42:44 AM
Because of Frank's job, initially as a copy boy and later moving up to chief of communications for the AP

Man, that kind of progression is all but impossible these days. Good for him.
 
2013-12-03 04:28:22 AM
I'm worried about this myself. My aunt died a couple of weeks ago, and my uncle isn't in good health (they were also my godparents). They were both in the same senior residence (she because of a series of strokes, and he because of a number of health issues that come when you're 87 years old). If any couple would fall into this scenario, it's them. Married 61 years, very religious (but never pushed it on anyone else), devoted to each other (never had kids) and did just about everything together.

I came back to the states last year for a visit, and when I saw them, I had this sad feeling that I might be seeing them for the last time.
 
2013-12-03 05:28:27 AM
Sucks that they had to spend the last few weeks of their lives in separate homes.
 
2013-12-03 05:37:44 AM
Yeah I thought that too. I realize each patient needs specific care, but if a married couple are both in hospice, can't they share rooms? Any professionals care to weigh in?
 
2013-12-03 05:38:47 AM

Snapper Carr: Sucks that they had to spend the last few weeks of their lives in separate homes.


Probably what killed them.....Dusty in here.
 
2013-12-03 05:53:05 AM

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I'm worried about this myself. My aunt died a couple of weeks ago, and my uncle isn't in good health (they were also my godparents). They were both in the same senior residence (she because of a series of strokes, and he because of a number of health issues that come when you're 87 years old). If any couple would fall into this scenario, it's them. Married 61 years, very religious (but never pushed it on anyone else), devoted to each other (never had kids) and did just about everything together.

I came back to the states last year for a visit, and when I saw them, I had this sad feeling that I might be seeing them for the last time.


My mother recently died at 87; four years of gradual decline, outlived two husbands through two good marriages. Her Alzheimer's + Dementia didn't follow a progression like you might read about - she would bounce back and forth from lucid to just lethargic, starting weeks at a time, gradually moving to day-to-day and then almost hour-to-hour. She planned pretty well and she was able to stay at home, including in-home hospice.

I also only have one other sibling, and we have been on the same page the whole time, so no stress from that point.
 
2013-12-03 06:02:23 AM
My aunt and uncle were married 65 years, with her having dementia/Alzheimer's/senility for the last 25 years.  If someone would ask him why he stayed by her side, when she was bedridden and slept around the clock, requiring non-stop care, he would say, "She may not remember me, but I remember her."  Still chokes me up, every damn time I think about it.

She lingered about 4-5 months after he died of a massive heart attack.
 
2013-12-03 06:35:33 AM

Snapper Carr: Sucks that they had to spend the last few weeks of their lives in separate homes.


Yeah, what's up with that.  I DNRTFA in depth enough but it wasn't obvious why that was.  Domestic abuse?
 
2013-12-03 06:36:27 AM

Darth_Lukecash: So here is the saddest story I know.

I know a couple who was married for almost 50 years. She began having dementia that affected her short term memory. She could remember anything except the last few months of her life.  He had years of alcoholism and depression, but finally got to the point where he realize he couldn't go on.  So checked into the same nursing home as his wife...got to share the room.

The day he moved in, he had a heart attack and died in her arms.  The next day, when my friend went to see his mom-the first thing she asked was "Has your father checked in yet?"  She had completely forgot he died the day before.  And soon, she passed herself.


My grand aunt was due to have an operation to remove one of her legs (years of smoking,) she was prepped etc, ready to go into the operation, and her daughter was with her for a brief visit before she went in.  My grand aunt said "Oh, Barbara was just in visiting me." Barbara was my grandmother, who was very close to her, but she had died a few weeks earlier. My grand aunt died on the operating table. Very strange.
 
2013-12-03 06:37:53 AM
For all the philandering I do and the jokes at her expense I make, when I'm sitting halfway across the world in a small hotel room with just a bottle of beer and some Chinese takeout, I really miss my wife.
 
2013-12-03 06:37:54 AM
The story goes that Zeus and another god came down to earth as beggars to test mankind. They were rebuffed at all the houses they stopped at until they came to the home of an old happy couple. They were so pleased that they revealed themselves and said he would grant them any wish. The wish they had was that when it was time to die they would go at the same time. So neither would have to know one minute of life without the other.

Now that is a wish.

(from memory)
 
2013-12-03 06:52:40 AM
FTFA: "They didn't give up. They had their share of fights, just like anybody else. But when it came down to everything in the end, they stuck together," Purser said. "They worked together as a team to do everything."

And that's what marriage is all about. Your "in love" endorphins die off in about 2 years. The human body simply gets tired of creating them. You stop that "in love" feeling after a while. It's nothing you or your partner does. It's biology. You would be surprised how many divorces happen 2 years from the time they're married... when they fall 'out of love' with them and look elsewhere.

But marriage is more than that "in love" feeling. Eventually, one way or the other -- that person becomes co-dependant. One could argue one does more than the other, but at some point the marriage becomes a team. Two human beings against the world.

This couple obviously knew what marriage was. They could have ended it at any point, but they chose not to -- they knew they needed each other no matter how much shiat the other would have to put up with.
 
2013-12-03 07:11:13 AM

cherryl taggart: My aunt and uncle were married 65 years, with her having dementia/Alzheimer's/senility for the last 25 years.  If someone would ask him why he stayed by her side, when she was bedridden and slept around the clock, requiring non-stop care, he would say, "She may not remember me, but I remember her."  Still chokes me up, every damn time I think about it.


That's how my oldest uncle's marriage was. Married for 62 years and he had the dementia/Alzheimer's/senility for the last 20 or so and she took care of him.
 
2013-12-03 07:16:47 AM

Ooba Tooba: I realize each patient needs specific care, but if a married couple are both in hospice, can't they share rooms? Any professionals care to weigh in?


I'm not in the line of work but I can think of a few reasons.  They were in different homes, which could be because of capacity issues or because they had different medical needs.  It may also be that one had a condition that made things more difficult for the other, which would inconvenience others in the hospice.  There are a lot of family decisions that go into these sorts of things that we don't, can't and shouldn't know about.

Weatherkiss: And that's what marriage is all about. Your "in love" endorphins die off in about 2 years.


Troll-like typing detected.
 
2013-12-03 07:51:37 AM
Book it. Irony now means coincidence.
 
2013-12-03 08:32:56 AM

Weatherkiss: FTFA: "They didn't give up. They had their share of fights, just like anybody else. But when it came down to everything in the end, they stuck together," Purser said. "They worked together as a team to do everything."

And that's what marriage is all about. Your "in love" endorphins die off in about 2 years. The human body simply gets tired of creating them. You stop that "in love" feeling after a while. It's nothing you or your partner does. It's biology. You would be surprised how many divorces happen 2 years from the time they're married... when they fall 'out of love' with them and look elsewhere.

But marriage is more than that "in love" feeling. Eventually, one way or the other -- that person becomes co-dependant. One could argue one does more than the other, but at some point the marriage becomes a team. Two human beings against the world.

This couple obviously knew what marriage was. They could have ended it at any point, but they chose not to -- they knew they needed each other no matter how much shiat the other would have to put up with.


Your theory is full of shiat.
 
2013-12-03 08:52:25 AM

cherryl taggart: My aunt and uncle were married 65 years, with her having dementia/Alzheimer's/senility for the last 25 years.  If someone would ask him why he stayed by her side, when she was bedridden and slept around the clock, requiring non-stop care, he would say, "She may not remember me, but I remember her."  Still chokes me up, every damn time I think about it.

She lingered about 4-5 months after he died of a massive heart attack.


Wow, it sure got dusty in here.

Thanks for sharing.
 
2013-12-03 08:55:03 AM
Vonnegut, called that a "Duprass"; a perfect Karass  comprising only two people.
 
2013-12-03 09:01:33 AM

dstanley: cherryl taggart: My aunt and uncle were married 65 years, with her having dementia/Alzheimer's/senility for the last 25 years.  If someone would ask him why he stayed by her side, when she was bedridden and slept around the clock, requiring non-stop care, he would say, "She may not remember me, but I remember her."  Still chokes me up, every damn time I think about it.

She lingered about 4-5 months after he died of a massive heart attack.

Wow, it sure got dusty in here.

Thanks for sharing.


Sorry.  When my cousin told that at his service, the waterworks were a sight to behold.  Months later, she repeated it, and even though we has all heard it again, we all went to mush again.  And she knows she is a likely candidate for the same future.  She is watching all the research with dread and hope in equal measure.
 
2013-12-03 11:40:16 AM
well it didn't really part them for very long.

I don't get people dying right after their spouse. I thought that once your spouse died is when you got your life back so you could do all the things that harpy biatch has been saying no to for all these those years and I, er, that is, you finally get to enjoy life.
 
2013-12-03 11:49:27 AM
A car salesman asked whether Frank wanted to take a car out for a test drive. Purser said he replied: "Yes, but only if I can take your secretary with me."

This guy was smooth
 
2013-12-03 01:13:58 PM
not the most flattering pic for them.  if it were to be captioned i'd run with:

him: "Is it dinnertime yet?"
her: "No." thought bubble: "I coulda done better..."

/sweet story
 
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