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(Toronto Star)   How do you get a 350 pound crackhead out of your football game seat?   (thestar.com) divider line 67
    More: Amusing, crackhead, Guggenheim, seats  
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4498 clicks; posted to Politics » on 02 Dec 2013 at 9:34 PM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-02 09:05:17 PM
Peanut butter and crack sandwich.
 
2013-12-02 09:06:45 PM
Throw a donut
 
2013-12-02 09:36:00 PM
Get a hotdog dangling off a stick, stick it on his back.
 
2013-12-02 09:36:10 PM
A Green-light!  Most excellent. I thought I would have to smoke more crack than the Mayor of Toronto to get this.

:)
 
2013-12-02 09:37:10 PM
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-12-02 09:38:23 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Throw a donut an eightball, a hooker, a fifth of Smirnoff and a righteous doob.


And even so, you're only providing what he has at the office...
 
2013-12-02 09:39:31 PM
If you're too much of a milquetoast to ask the person to get out of your seat, I have no sympathy.  Hell, get the farking usher.
 
2013-12-02 09:40:21 PM
Um, key the rebel flag on the back of his Hoverround?

/DNRTFA, assumed it was a Teabagger, on account of being a fat drug addicted asshole.
 
2013-12-02 09:41:28 PM
Send passive aggressive tweets. That solves everything.
 
2013-12-02 09:41:47 PM

basemetal: If you're too much of a milquetoast to ask the person to get out of your seat, I have no sympathy.  Hell, get the farking usher.


Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
 
2013-12-02 09:53:16 PM

cubic_spleen: Um, key the rebel flag on the back of his Hoverround?

/DNRTFA, assumed it was a Teabagger, on account of being a fat drug addicted asshole.


You were actually not far off.
 
2013-12-02 09:59:39 PM
A fishing pole baited with crack?
 
2013-12-02 10:03:17 PM
What, no "stab in neck with screwdriver" option?
 
2013-12-02 10:04:01 PM
That is a (foot)ball crack conundrum.
 
2013-12-02 10:09:21 PM
Kindly inform him that were he 500 pounds, you'd yield your seat, but a crackhead weighing only 350 pounds does NOT sit anywhere he wants to.

/obscure?
 
2013-12-02 10:10:39 PM
Something something something Chuck Norris?
 
2013-12-02 10:13:41 PM
"Get your stupid, farking, genetic disaster fatass out of my seat"?
 
2013-12-02 10:20:41 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-12-02 10:27:37 PM
I forgot about this :(

imagemacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-12-02 10:27:40 PM
He looks like he'd be fairly easy to roll.
 
2013-12-02 10:30:54 PM

LarryDan43: Send passive aggressive tweets. That solves everything.


That's kinda what I was thinking.  Seriously, most people (even when heavily intoxicated) can be reasoned with if you're assertive, but remain polite and respectful with them.

"Excuse me, sir.  Hi.  I think you may have mistakenly sat in my seat. [show ticket close enough for them to read]."  I've had that happen several times over the years at various events.  I've never had a response other than some variant of "Oh, my bad.  Let me grab my stuff.  Have a nice night."  If I ever have that situation and I get some jackass alpha-male douche give me some lip, just walk away and ask a security guard to help resolve it.  That's what they get paid to do.  They'd much rather do that than break up a brawl over a seat, and I don't want to get kicked out/thrown in jail over some drunk asshole, so everyone still wins.
 
2013-12-02 10:54:37 PM
I came here to make a joke, but the I realized my joke was TFA.

I vote that from now on, Rob Ford stories get the Florida tag.
 
2013-12-02 11:06:26 PM
Rob Ford officially has zero farks to give.
 
2013-12-02 11:09:25 PM

The Briny Derp: Peanut butter and crack sandwich.


fark that guy. Resorted to picking on little old Hartford to jumps his career.
 
2013-12-02 11:11:06 PM
imageshack.com
imageshack.com
imageshack.com
imageshack.com
The balance of the Redacted bits of the Lisi IPO is due to be released on Friday.  Most of the rest has to do with Rob Ford...  Productivity in Toronto will about be zero on Friday after the release.  I already have three or four new captions, a shop or two and 2 headlines ready to go depending on what is in there.  Good times!
 
2013-12-02 11:13:40 PM
Really? I would have thought this one was easy.

See all the yardlines? That's not paint. It's coke.

/drops mic, walks off
 
2013-12-02 11:16:37 PM
Apparently the answer is "wait quietly for it to leave".

Matt Mays is a true Canadian.
 
2013-12-02 11:22:01 PM
Forklift?
 
2013-12-02 11:25:15 PM
 
2013-12-02 11:43:15 PM
Um.....a light application of high explosives, perhaps?
 
2013-12-02 11:51:42 PM
That question answers itself.
 
2013-12-03 12:02:55 AM
*click*

"pull!"

POW

''Naisu shotto"

"Quit humoring me and go collect the body"

"Anata ga nozomu yō ni "

"Whatever"
 
2013-12-03 12:03:33 AM

Don't Troll Me Bro!: LarryDan43: Send passive aggressive tweets. That solves everything.

That's kinda what I was thinking.  Seriously, most people (even when heavily intoxicated) can be reasoned with if you're assertive, but remain polite and respectful with them.

"Excuse me, sir.  Hi.  I think you may have mistakenly sat in my seat. [show ticket close enough for them to read]."  I've had that happen several times over the years at various events.  I've never had a response other than some variant of "Oh, my bad.  Let me grab my stuff.  Have a nice night."  If I ever have that situation and I get some jackass alpha-male douche give me some lip, just walk away and ask a security guard to help resolve it.  That's what they get paid to do.  They'd much rather do that than break up a brawl over a seat, and I don't want to get kicked out/thrown in jail over some drunk asshole, so everyone still wins.


The National Post article has a few more details.  Apparently the Rogers Centre had ushers and security guards trying to keep people away from him, and one of the ushers turned the ticket holder away even after acknowledging the crackhead mayor was sitting in his seat.
 
2013-12-03 12:09:41 AM
www.benchmarkcenter.com
 
2013-12-03 12:11:14 AM

CrowdSceneExtra: Don't Troll Me Bro!: LarryDan43: Send passive aggressive tweets. That solves everything.

That's kinda what I was thinking.  Seriously, most people (even when heavily intoxicated) can be reasoned with if you're assertive, but remain polite and respectful with them.

"Excuse me, sir.  Hi.  I think you may have mistakenly sat in my seat. [show ticket close enough for them to read]."  I've had that happen several times over the years at various events.  I've never had a response other than some variant of "Oh, my bad.  Let me grab my stuff.  Have a nice night."  If I ever have that situation and I get some jackass alpha-male douche give me some lip, just walk away and ask a security guard to help resolve it.  That's what they get paid to do.  They'd much rather do that than break up a brawl over a seat, and I don't want to get kicked out/thrown in jail over some drunk asshole, so everyone still wins.

The National Post article has a few more details.  Apparently the Rogers Centre had ushers and security guards trying to keep people away from him, and one of the ushers turned the ticket holder away even after acknowledging the crackhead mayor was sitting in his seat.


Heh. The photo in that National Post article shows Ford is not long for this world. Seriously, half his face is purple.
 
2013-12-03 12:15:35 AM

CrowdSceneExtra: The National Post article has a few more details. Apparently the Rogers Centre had ushers and security guards trying to keep people away from him, and one of the ushers turned the ticket holder away even after acknowledging the crackhead mayor was sitting in his seat.


Oh man.  That's just f*cked up.  Never been in that kind of situation, and I'm not sure how I'd handle that.  Since I don't have any of those social media things, I'm not sure if I'd utilize them if I did have them.

"Yeah, the crackhead celebrity stole the seat you paid for.  Now go away" is not acceptable, and that staff should be ashamed of how they handled that.  Mr Ford obviously had purchased a ticket, so he had somewhere he could sit without causing a scene.
 
2013-12-03 12:22:04 AM

Kittypie070: Um.....a light application of high explosives, perhaps?


Naw...

/that exploding whale thing never works
 
2013-12-03 12:26:42 AM
350 pounds?
What the fark? How an you have a weight problem AND a crack problem?
 
2013-12-03 12:29:48 AM

drumhellar: 350 pounds?
What the fark? How an you have a weight problem AND a crack problem?


"Oh, I tried to beat his AASSSSS!!!! .... but he ran."
"Oh, you ain't catchin' no crackhead."

Rob Ford may be a gamechanger?
 
2013-12-03 12:31:22 AM

drumhellar: 350 pounds?
What the fark? How an you have a weight problem AND a crack problem?


It's the poutine in the speedball.
 
2013-12-03 12:44:22 AM

Don't Troll Me Bro!: CrowdSceneExtra: The National Post article has a few more details. Apparently the Rogers Centre had ushers and security guards trying to keep people away from him, and one of the ushers turned the ticket holder away even after acknowledging the crackhead mayor was sitting in his seat.

Oh man.  That's just f*cked up.  Never been in that kind of situation, and I'm not sure how I'd handle that.  Since I don't have any of those social media things, I'm not sure if I'd utilize them if I did have them.

"Yeah, the crackhead celebrity stole the seat you paid for.  Now go away" is not acceptable, and that staff should be ashamed of how they handled that.  Mr Ford obviously had purchased a ticket, so he had somewhere he could sit without causing a scene.


I don't think it's obvious at all. Assuming rational or even decent behaviour on the part of Rob Ford requires suspension of reason.
 
2013-12-03 12:44:58 AM

drumhellar: 350 pounds?
What the fark? How an you have a weight problem AND a crack problem?


Just imagine how much he'd weigh if he didn't have the crack problem.
 
2013-12-03 12:49:53 AM

clowncar on fire: *click*

"pull!"

POW

''Naisu shotto"

"Quit humoring me and go collect the body"

"Anata ga nozomu yō ni "

Anataga iyatte yorokoba to shiate

"Whatever"

FTFM
 
2013-12-03 12:56:14 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: drumhellar: 350 pounds?
What the fark? How an you have a weight problem AND a crack problem?

It's the poutine in the speedball.


I hate you.

Soda out the nose really hurts.
 
2013-12-03 12:57:00 AM
Easy enough.  You walk up to the dipshiat in your seat and inform him that he needs to move.  If they don't, you go get security.  I bet the video of him being escorted out would have gone viral.  You missed that opportunity.
 
2013-12-03 12:58:51 AM
Ask him politely and then call the ushers if he doesn't move?

Being a little biatch about it and posting it on Twitter isn't going to get any shiat done. And I bet Ford was having a way better time than the little wiener in the article.
 
2013-12-03 12:59:24 AM
You inform him that he's in your seat.  Politely ask him to move.  If he doesn't move, ask him impolitely.  If he still doesn't move you tear his head off and shiat down his neck.
 
2013-12-03 01:25:54 AM
Is this dude real? He looks like a cross between Glenn Beck and Mustard Guy.
 
2013-12-03 01:30:13 AM
Has anyone else noticed that he looks like a skinny Rush Limbaugh? One does crack, the other does prescription opioids! Also, I cant help but wonder how the two of them would look with the paint huffer's gold speck beard on their faces....
 
2013-12-03 01:35:02 AM
You ask, you spineless prat. You ask.
 
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