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(Some Guy)   New tool to fight patent trolls: call the number, enter your zip code, and this connects you to your representative who will be reviewing and voting on the legislation. Still no tool for allowing you to remotely kick patent trolls in the balls   (trollingeffects.org) divider line 82
    More: Followup, non-practicing entity, fight patent, Action Center, legislation  
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3732 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2013 at 11:02 AM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



82 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-12-03 11:04:57 AM
Nice idea, but I already patented a system for looking stuff up by zip code and providing responses, so I'll be suing them.
 
2013-12-03 11:08:54 AM
I have no Patents

Still want to kick p-trolls in the balls
 
2013-12-03 11:09:10 AM
Nice idea, but I already patented a system for looking up stuff using numbers and providing a response, so I'll be suing them too.
Also- I'll take whatever you collect as well.

or you can pay me $3000 for the license fee that I don't seem to have a record of you paying....
 
2013-12-03 11:09:29 AM
Trolls should have the same right to patent their ideas as everyone else. Not only is it racist, this legislation will have disastrous effects on innovation in the bridge building and goat cooking sectors.
 
2013-12-03 11:12:26 AM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Nice idea, but I already patented a system for looking stuff up by zip code and providing responses, so I'll be suing them.


I already patented a system of posting lawsuit-intending messages on message boards and forums, so...
 
2013-12-03 11:12:59 AM
I just patented kicks to the balls.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-12-03 11:13:25 AM
Remote ball stimulation must be covered by a teledildonics patent.
 
2013-12-03 11:13:32 AM

Delta1212: Trolls should have the same right to patent their ideas as everyone else. Not only is it racist, this legislation will have disastrous effects on innovation in the bridge building and goat cooking sectors.


I already patented making false claims of racism so you need to pay a licensing fee for that.  Also, I patented the desire to kick people in the balls, so all of you owe me money for that.  And if that makes you want to kick me in the balls, you should go ahead and pay again for that too.
 
2013-12-03 11:14:14 AM
I just patented the word "pending".
 
2013-12-03 11:16:22 AM
Words.  I patented words.

/end thread
 
2013-12-03 11:17:10 AM
Isn't this just a bandaid?  Watching the whole fiasco where Fark got sued gave me the impression that the entire system is in desperate need of an overhaul.
 
2013-12-03 11:17:47 AM

ZAZ: teledildonics


In other news, I freakin' love this word.
 
2013-12-03 11:18:14 AM

dabbletech: Words.  I patented words.

/end thread


I patented letters.  And leathers.
 
2013-12-03 11:19:49 AM
Contact our Congressperson and ask them to help?  Have you seen our Congresspersons?
 
2013-12-03 11:22:07 AM
FTFA: But most elected officials do not understand how dramatically trolls threaten the American innovation economy.

And they don't farking care.  Since a majority of our elected officials are lawyers, what they will understand is that you are trying to limit the amount of easy money that gets funneled to their brethren in these cases that can drag on for years and accrue shiatloads of $$$.

Stop trying to negate their step 3: Profit!
 
2013-12-03 11:23:36 AM

xanadian: dabbletech: Words.  I patented words.

/end thread

I patented letters.  And leathers.


@#7/^^8%*!~
 
2013-12-03 11:23:45 AM

xanadian: dabbletech: Words.  I patented words.

/end thread

I patented letters.  And leathers.


I patented drawing curves and lines on a medium.
 
2013-12-03 11:24:27 AM

balki1867: Delta1212: Trolls should have the same right to patent their ideas as everyone else. Not only is it racist, this legislation will have disastrous effects on innovation in the bridge building and goat cooking sectors.

I already patented making false claims of racism so you need to pay a licensing fee for that.  Also, I patented the desire to kick people in the balls, so all of you owe me money for that.  And if that makes you want to kick me in the balls, you should go ahead and pay again for that too.


good luck collecting the kicking-in-the-balls fee, considering there's people who already pay to have that done to them...
 
2013-12-03 11:24:28 AM

bdub77: xanadian: dabbletech: Words.  I patented words.

/end thread

I patented letters.  And leathers.

I patented drawing curves and lines on a medium.

@#7/^^8%*!~

 
2013-12-03 11:25:20 AM
If you are engaged enough to care about patent trolls you should be politically engaged enough to know who your congress critters are and tech savy enough to look up their contact information.  WTH does this serve?
 
2013-12-03 11:26:43 AM
35 USC 292 states that "Whoever marks upon, or affixes to, or uses in advertising in connection with any unpatented article, the word "patent" or any word or number importing that the same is patented, for the purpose of deceiving the public...Shall be fined not more than $500 for every such offense," so many of the above posters may owe some money.
 
2013-12-03 11:27:41 AM
I patented f*#%ing cursing, dammit.
 
2013-12-03 11:28:36 AM
You are all infringing one of my many patents so you can either hire a lawyer and go to court to find out what you did wrong and then be really sorry and broke, or just pay me $3000 each for the license fee.

You can set up a payment plan of $5 per month for TotalJohnson and never have to worry about infringing on my patents ever again.
 
2013-12-03 11:28:38 AM

nekom: Isn't this just a bandaid?  Watching the whole fiasco where Fark got sued gave me the impression that the entire system is in desperate need of an overhaul.


Yes.

But much like the ACH, sometimes it's better to do something, anything, even if it's clearly and obviously addressing the wrong problem, At the very least, it forces some attention on the real issues, vs. just leaving everything as status quo because the "real solution" is somehow out of reach.

Next up: a half-assed step sideways on immigration reform! Yay, politics.
 
2013-12-03 11:31:26 AM

dabbletech: bdub77: xanadian: dabbletech: Words.  I patented words.

/end thread

I patented letters.  And leathers.

I patented drawing curves and lines on a medium.

@#7/^^8%*!~


I patented all forms of communication

If you would like to respond, please send a licensing fee check first.
 
2013-12-03 11:31:38 AM
I believe Drew's solution involved using his own private parts.
 
2013-12-03 11:32:51 AM
I patented patents.

I'm taking all of you bastards down.
 
2013-12-03 11:34:56 AM
Can we get a generally accept definition of patent troll?
 
2013-12-03 11:35:32 AM
I patented the approval process of patents.

Checkmate.
 
2013-12-03 11:37:45 AM
I'm not sure the reps and senators read these, as I rarely receive anything back other than a form letter. But, since email is cheap...
 
2013-12-03 11:38:54 AM

sprgrss: Can we get a generally accept definition of patent troll?


Any company who sues a company I like over a patent, no matter the validity of the patent in question.
 
2013-12-03 11:41:03 AM
Has anyone ever thought to patent the method of applying for patents?
 
2013-12-03 11:42:46 AM
I called and left a message. This service actually seems useful.


If you call, you better believe they listen...
 
2013-12-03 11:43:29 AM

SamFlagg: I patented patents.

I'm taking all of you bastards down.


I have a copyright on the term "bastard" and the process for creating one is a trade secret.  My attorney will be in touch.
 
2013-12-03 11:46:25 AM
Want death penalty.
 
2013-12-03 11:47:31 AM

sprgrss: Can we get a generally accept definition of patent troll?


Typically it's the shell companies who actually produce nothing and merely buy up patents (the more vague/abstract of a definition the better) for the sake of suing entities who they believe are using them, typically without even attempting to negotiate licensing deals first.
 
2013-12-03 11:51:37 AM

Stile4aly: SamFlagg: I patented patents.

I'm taking all of you bastards down.

I have a copyright on the term "bastard" and the process for creating one is a trade secret.  My attorney will be in touch.


Your mom has already told us how she had you.  The secret is out.
 
2013-12-03 11:55:52 AM

Caeldan: sprgrss: Can we get a generally accept definition of patent troll?

Typically it's the shell companies who actually produce nothing and merely buy up patents (the more vague/abstract of a definition the better) for the sake of suing entities who they believe are using them, typically without even attempting to negotiate licensing deals first.


You're missing the part where the patent is on an idea/process that is obvious, covered by other (older) patents, and/or has prior art...but that fighting the troll is more expensive than settling, since the process of proving a patent shouldn't exist (even a really bad one) is really expensive.
 
2013-12-03 11:57:05 AM
If you already know and have read H.R. 3309 but don't know how to reach your representative, you can be a tool?  Or is this a tool to make tools out of the people who don't know and haven't read H.R. 3309 because crowdsource.
 
2013-12-03 11:57:17 AM

K3rmy: Has anyone ever thought to patent the method of applying for patents?


The US patent office?
 
2013-12-03 11:57:54 AM

Caeldan: sprgrss: Can we get a generally accept definition of patent troll?

Typically it's the shell companies who actually produce nothing and merely buy up patents (the more vague/abstract of a definition the better) for the sake of suing entities who they believe are using them, typically without even attempting to negotiate licensing deals first.


You left out sore losers who had an idea that fell flat and they stopped working on it, then remembered their patent after someone else made a success of it.
 
2013-12-03 12:00:10 PM
I have a patent on the human manufacture of feces, urine and feces with additives. I expect a payment soon.
 
2013-12-03 12:02:44 PM
I have a patent on how to fight patent trolls. By fighting them you're all infringing and I'm going to sue for one trillion dollars each!
 
2013-12-03 12:06:54 PM

bdub77: xanadian: dabbletech: Words.  I patented words.

/end thread

I patented letters.  And leathers.

I patented drawing curves and lines on a medium.


Medium? Ha! I have circumvented your puny patent by writing large and bold!
 
2013-12-03 12:07:10 PM

darth_badger: I have a patent on the human manufacture of feces, urine and feces with additives. I expect a payment soon.


I think we are all for sending you all the human produced feces, urine and feces with additives you would like.  We'll just have our local sewage plants drop it off on your front step, or we can put it paper bags set on fire.  Maybe we'll surprise you.
 
2013-12-03 12:11:46 PM
I patented arguing about patents being patented, so EVERYBODY in this thread owes me patented licensing fees.
 
2013-12-03 12:20:57 PM
I patented the process of hitting a button to "submit" a response to another entity, so I expect big bucks any day now.
 
2013-12-03 12:23:47 PM
At the risk of getting flamed, the Innovation Act is a poorly worded mess that does not, for example, distinguish between troll non-practising entities versus universities (which typically are non-practising entities when they fund new research through licencing). So innocent and valuable innovators are going to get damaged by this rent-a-law rubbish.

The real problems with the US patent system are:
1. That the USPTO issues a lot of poor patents. This is a USPTO management problem.
2. The ridiculously expensive procedures of discovery, and the use of a jury trial, FFS, in patent cases
3. The disproportionate damages awarded by the courts that create the business model for trolls in the first place.

Sort any or all of those three out and it will be better for everyone.
 
2013-12-03 12:27:51 PM

EnderX: dabbletech: bdub77: xanadian: dabbletech: Words.  I patented words.

/end thread

I patented letters.  And leathers.

I patented drawing curves and lines on a medium.

@#7/^^8%*!~

I patented all forms of communication

If you would like to respond, please send a licensing fee check first.


I patented the checks, so to send a check, send me a check first.
 
2013-12-03 12:42:51 PM

People_are_Idiots: EnderX: dabbletech: bdub77: xanadian: dabbletech: Words.  I patented words.

/end thread

I patented letters.  And leathers.

I patented drawing curves and lines on a medium.

@#7/^^8%*!~

I patented all forms of communication

If you would like to respond, please send a licensing fee check first.

I patented the checks, so to send a check, send me a check first.


I've patented bitcoins that have been thrown away on hard drives, please pay me in bitcoin e-waste hard drives.
 
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