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(Daily Mail)   Filmmakers say there will be two versions of '50 Shades of Grey': one anything goes NC-17 version and an R version that's more bound and restricted, begging   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 74
    More: Obvious, Shades of Grey, Dakota Johnson, Dana Brunetti, Charlie Hunnam, British Board of Film Classification, EL James, Melanie Griffith, sadomasochists  
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2531 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 Dec 2013 at 12:06 AM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-12-02 12:00:05 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2013-12-02 12:08:23 AM  

DanZero: [img.fark.net image 420x294]


50 Shades of Grey is well written.

/Thanks, always wanted his complete works!
//Worth it, IMO. Oww.
///Slashies, three, etc.
 
2013-12-02 12:18:28 AM  
It's as if everyone thinks a movie has to be made. The movie would destroy the projection your imagination reads in that makes it work.
 
2013-12-02 12:18:54 AM  

DanZero: [img.fark.net image 420x294]


Depending on where you smacked them with it that might not be a deterrent...
 
2013-12-02 12:19:08 AM  
FTFA:  'We do not want this film to be seen as mommy porn - we want to keep it elevated but also give the fans what they want,' Brunetti told review site

....Riiiiiight.


i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-12-02 12:21:13 AM  
Why the fark would anybody want to go to a movie theater to watch porn made by people who've never made porn before? And as far as BDSM porn goes, better off with the offerings of Kink.com. They've got more than enough twisted fap material to satisfy all but the most truly deviant of tastes. How can 50 Shades of Stupid compete with Public Disgrace, Whipped Ass, or TS Pussy Hunters?
 
2013-12-02 12:24:13 AM  

fusillade762: DanZero: [img.fark.net image 420x294]

Depending on where you smacked them with it that might not be a deterrent...


I'm guessing 99.99% of the fans of 50 Shades of Suck would have their partners arrested for assault if they were on the receiving end of anything resembling BDSM. In their fantasy world, a spanking, or candle wax, nipple clamps etc. isn't actually painful.
 
2013-12-02 12:25:09 AM  
Particularly bad fan-fiction is getting ma
 
2013-12-02 12:33:12 AM  
I will never see either version.
 
2013-12-02 12:33:13 AM  
50 Shades of Grey: the Movie?

Gag me.
 
2013-12-02 12:36:09 AM  

LectertheChef: Why the fark would anybody want to go to a movie theater to watch porn made by people who've never made porn before? And as far as BDSM porn goes, better off with the offerings of Kink.com. They've got more than enough twisted fap material to satisfy all but the most truly deviant of tastes. How can 50 Shades of Stupid compete with Public Disgrace, Whipped Ass, or TS Pussy Hunters?


Nothing wrong with any of them, but they're a lot closer to a documentary than a drama. I like being entertained when I go to a movie.
 
2013-12-02 12:36:26 AM  
I think if they let Michael Bay direct it, it has potential.

Just think of the creative use of explosions.
 
2013-12-02 12:39:11 AM  
Has Gilbert Godfrey been brought on to provide voiceover narration? No? Then....No.
 
2013-12-02 12:41:01 AM  

quatchi: 50 Shades of Grey: the Movie?

Gag me.


I saw 50 Shades of Grey wine at the grocery store the other day. It was right next to the adult diapers and fiber supplements...
 
2013-12-02 12:41:04 AM  
scheduled release was delayed after British actor Charlie Hunnam, 33, pulled out

Heh.

Dakota Johnson, 24, the daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, plays the role of Anastasia Steele.

Jesus Christ, Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson have spawn?!
 
2013-12-02 12:41:52 AM  

yadumey: /Thanks, always wanted his complete works!


You can get a nice set at a reasonable price at any used bookstore on the planet. Good to have, you never know when you want to flip through Macbeth again.
 
2013-12-02 12:44:25 AM  

Apos: Has Gilbert Godfrey been brought on to provide voiceover narration? No? Then....No.


I would pay extra to see that in theaters. In IMAX. And I'd buy popcorn.
 
2013-12-02 12:47:23 AM  
Wait, everyone.  There is a potentially good thing that might happen here.  While I think the 50 Shades series is absolute dogshiat based on the excerpts I've read, there is a small possibility that major theaters will carry the NC-17 version.  And there's a slight, though major possibility that the NC-17 version will get a ton of ticket buys.  Based on that, the ridiculousness of the MPAA could be rendered null if major studios saw big money potential on hard rated movies.
 
2013-12-02 12:52:57 AM  

HotWingAgenda: Apos: Has Gilbert Godfrey been brought on to provide voiceover narration? No? Then....No.

I would pay extra to see that in theaters. In IMAX. And I'd buy popcorn.



Yup, yup.

/Oops....That's "Gottfried", not Godfrey.
 
2013-12-02 12:52:58 AM  
I have a Facebook friend who said she was glad that Charlie Hunnam dropped from the lead. I said, "me too!  His career is much more deserving than this trash." Needless to say, we're not speaking much.
 
2013-12-02 01:00:34 AM  

HotWingAgenda: scheduled release was delayed after British actor Charlie Hunnam, 33, pulled out

Heh.

Dakota Johnson, 24, the daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, plays the role of Anastasia Steele.

Jesus Christ, Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson have spawn?!


Indeed:
blog.seattlepi.com
 
2013-12-02 01:06:08 AM  
This seems like a good spot to suggest Shiniez's BDSM Comic

Actual RACK/SSC aware BDSM porn with plot.
th05.deviantart.net

I haven't read 50 Shades but I have friends that are FetLife and what they've told me is that 50 Shades completely ignores RACK/SSC, which is a good way to get people hurt.
 
2013-12-02 01:10:48 AM  
indulgy.net

I don't get it.  It's a movie about painting?
 
2013-12-02 01:16:17 AM  
Bullshiat. The distributor will chicken out, release just the R-rated cut, then put out the NC-17 version as an "unrated" Blu Ray. It's the same thing studios have been doing for a decade.

Mark it down.
 
2013-12-02 01:22:19 AM  

unyon: FTFA:  'We do not want this film to be seen as mommy porn - we want to keep it elevated but also give the fans what they want,' Brunetti told review site



Pffft.  That's exactly what it is, you're not fooling anyone.
 
2013-12-02 01:36:10 AM  
That this exists makes me ill.
 
2013-12-02 01:37:47 AM  

Flappyhead: unyon: FTFA:  'We do not want this film to be seen as mommy porn - we want to keep it elevated but also give the fans what they want,' Brunetti told review site


Pffft.  That's exactly what it is, you're not fooling anyone.



Their target audience needs the denial. I know women who have read these books that used to say I should be ashamed for liking slasher flicks.

At least the Friday the 13th crew were honest about their product. They wanted to see limbs flying and breasts jiggling.

50 shades is not porn. It's porn on a $70 million budget.
 
2013-12-02 01:56:53 AM  
They anticipate it being a Valentine's Day date movie? That's one wild date.
 
2013-12-02 02:01:19 AM  
Well, a couple of problems with this:

1) In the US, MPAA rules don't allow for multiple versions of a movie with different ratings to be released simultaneously. They'd have to release the R version, let it run, then pull all copies of it from theatres before they could release an NC-17 version. The Weinstein Company had to do the same thing with "The King's Speech" when it was originally released as an R and then edited to PG-13. All of the R copies had to be removed from theatres.

2) Less of an issue these days, but most print publications will not accept advertising for NC-17 films. While NATO (National Association of Theatre Owners) publicly say that chains determine this on a case by case basis, it's very rare. Most print publications view themselves as "family" publications and will not deal with the advertising.  But being as this was an internet spawned book, that's not really a hurdle. It also means that any radio/TV advertising will be running after the family hours - so you'll only hear it between 9pm and 6am.

3)  Many theatre chains will not run NC-17 films. While NATO (National Association of Theatre Owners) publicly say that chains determine this on a case by case basis, it's very rare. This is why many explicit films opt for an "unrated" release rather than NC-17. It also means that theatres do not have to worry about having staffing issues with only having employees over the age of 17 monitoring/cleaning/checking that one auditorium. It's a royal pain in the ass. Theatre chains which service predominantly small towns (like Carmike) or which have people in charge that have a more conservative view (Regal Theatre Group) pretty much pass up on NC-17 and unrated content except at specific art/boutique locations.

4)  Lastly, many retailers will not sell or rent NC-17 films. This includes Wal-Mart (which will also include digital/Ultraviolet distributor Vudu) where many discs are still sold.

This is pretty much just an early publicity generating machine trying to keep this adaptation in the limelight while Universal tries to figure out how to market it and advertise it to an audience other than most of the rabid mommies who don't really know much about BDSM that enjoyed the stories. (Holy disregarding SSC and RACK BDSM safety codes, Batman!)

/21 year veteran in the exhibition industry
//10 year veteran in the radio/TV/print industry
 
2013-12-02 02:01:53 AM  

BizarreMan: They anticipate it being a Valentine's Day date movie? That's one wild date.


I call it Tuesday.
 
2013-12-02 02:10:04 AM  

propasaurus: HotWingAgenda: scheduled release was delayed after British actor Charlie Hunnam, 33, pulled out

Heh.

Dakota Johnson, 24, the daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, plays the role of Anastasia Steele.

Jesus Christ, Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson have spawn?!

Indeed:
[blog.seattlepi.com image 416x594]


Hadn't ever a) really cared and b) seen a pic of her.  She's got all of daddy's facial features minus the facial hair.
 
2013-12-02 02:16:44 AM  

Ringshadow: This seems like a good spot to suggest Shiniez's BDSM Comic

Actual RACK/SSC aware BDSM porn with plot.
[th05.deviantart.net image 725x1101]


Oooh, awesome. I've seen bits and pieces of that comic posted elsewhere, but I've never actually tracked it down to where it came from.
 
2013-12-02 02:29:40 AM  

RadicalEd: quatchi: 50 Shades of Grey: the Movie?

Gag me.

I saw 50 Shades of Grey wine at the grocery store the other day. It was right next to the adult diapers and fiber supplements...


That sounds like one hell of a night!
 
2013-12-02 02:34:16 AM  
s3.amazonaws.com
"Mfph bbrrbrrh uff rhhphdhh."
 
2013-12-02 02:55:59 AM  
This will be so bad.
 
2013-12-02 03:22:47 AM  

rzrwiresunrise: This will be so bad.


But the Rifftrax will be glorious.
 
2013-12-02 03:35:23 AM  
I can't wait for this movie to be released.  The stream of housewives rushing home to rub one out will be glorious.   It will make people happy, and less ashamed of their kinks.  It can only be a force for good in the world.
 
2013-12-02 03:38:38 AM  
Somebody said something about spanking?
data1.whicdn.com
 
Skr
2013-12-02 03:41:08 AM  
Are there midgets in 50 Shades? I might be more interested if there are midgets.
 
2013-12-02 04:10:27 AM  
If people who go to see this movie really don't like it will they able to just get up and leave or do they have to tell the usher their safe word first?
 
2013-12-02 04:13:43 AM  

Ringshadow: This seems like a good spot to suggest Shiniez's BDSM Comic

Actual RACK/SSC aware BDSM porn with plot.
[th05.deviantart.net image 725x1101]

I haven't read 50 Shades but I have friends that are FetLife and what they've told me is that 50 Shades completely ignores RACK/SSC, which is a good way to get people hurt.


*click*

My prurient interests. This appeals to them.

*tips toque in Ringshadow's general direction*
 
2013-12-02 04:15:05 AM  
If the clever marketing strategy was followed in Britain the film could seek an 18 certificate for the more vanilla version and an R18 rating for the explicit cut, meaning it could be shown only in cinemas with a special license cinemas, revealed the Sunday Times.

No, it wouldn't.

The NC-17 rating is for sexually explicit films. So, for example, Blue is the Warmest Colour, Henry and June, Kids and Orgazmo are rated as NC-17.

In the UK, those films got rated as 18. We even give some films with unstimulated sex an 18 (like The Brown Bunny and Baise-Moi) where the censors feel that its inclusion is relevant to the plot.

R18 is for basically for hardcore porn. So, unless Don Johnson's daughter is going to actually get done by the backdoor on film, no, it ain't going to be R18.
 
2013-12-02 04:16:10 AM  
I hope the studio producing this turd loses boatloads of money.
 
2013-12-02 05:52:29 AM  

roland_gilead: Well, a couple of problems with this:

1) In the US, MPAA rules don't allow for multiple versions of a movie with different ratings to be released simultaneously. They'd have to release the R version, let it run, then pull all copies of it from theatres before they could release an NC-17 version. The Weinstein Company had to do the same thing with "The King's Speech" when it was originally released as an R and then edited to PG-13. All of the R copies had to be removed from theatres.

2) Less of an issue these days, but most print publications will not accept advertising for NC-17 films. While NATO (National Association of Theatre Owners) publicly say that chains determine this on a case by case basis, it's very rare. Most print publications view themselves as "family" publications and will not deal with the advertising.  But being as this was an internet spawned book, that's not really a hurdle. It also means that any radio/TV advertising will be running after the family hours - so you'll only hear it between 9pm and 6am.

3)  Many theatre chains will not run NC-17 films. While NATO (National Association of Theatre Owners) publicly say that chains determine this on a case by case basis, it's very rare. This is why many explicit films opt for an "unrated" release rather than NC-17. It also means that theatres do not have to worry about having staffing issues with only having employees over the age of 17 monitoring/cleaning/checking that one auditorium. It's a royal pain in the ass. Theatre chains which service predominantly small towns (like Carmike) or which have people in charge that have a more conservative view (Regal Theatre Group) pretty much pass up on NC-17 and unrated content except at specific art/boutique locations.

4)  Lastly, many retailers will not sell or rent NC-17 films. This includes Wal-Mart (which will also include digital/Ultraviolet distributor Vudu) where many discs are still sold.

This is pretty much just an early publicity generating machi ...


easy fix here would be 50 shades of american pie.  film a version that doesn't get rated, just edited for dvd release, and then send the r version to theaters.  a month after the r version releases, release the unrated one in a boxed set with a flogger and cuffs... PROFIT!!

quatchi: If people who go to see this movie really don't like it will they able to just get up and leave or do they have to tell the usher their safe word first?


safeword is now officially rifftrax.  not that i plan on seeing it, but it's a very thinly veiled threat to the ushers that if they don't let you go, you're going to start up RHPS style audience participation...

ecmoRandomNumbers: I hope the studio producing this turd loses boatloads of money.


i think they're expecting buttloads.  :)
 
2013-12-02 06:18:08 AM  
Ringshadow:
This seems like a good spot to suggest Shiniez's BDSM Comic

I've... never heard of that.  *cough cough*

But yeah the whole 50 Shades thing is appalling.  I'm not really into BDSM but I do understand that there have to be RULES and the crazy British lady knew none of them when she wrote her abusive-partner-porn opus.

The Fifty Shades trilogy was developed from a Twilight fan fiction series originally titled Master of the Universe and published episodically on fan-fiction websites under the pen name "Snowqueen's Icedragon". - Wikipedia

Hahahahahahahaha this is like every fan fic stereotype in one nutshell.
 
2013-12-02 06:21:38 AM  

No Such Agency: Ringshadow:
This seems like a good spot to suggest Shiniez's BDSM Comic

I've... never heard of that.  *cough cough*

But yeah the whole 50 Shades thing is appalling.  I'm not really into BDSM but I do understand that there have to be RULES and the crazy British lady knew none of them when she wrote her abusive-partner-porn opus.

The Fifty Shades trilogy was developed from a Twilight fan fiction series originally titled Master of the Universe and published episodically on fan-fiction websites under the pen name "Snowqueen's Icedragon". - Wikipedia

Hahahahahahahaha this is like every fan fic stereotype in one nutshell.


oh dear god, it's a mary sue?
 
2013-12-02 06:25:07 AM  

Duck_of_Doom: rzrwiresunrise: This will be so bad.

But the Rifftrax will be glorious.


Thank you for the silver lining...
 
2013-12-02 06:28:37 AM  

cynicalminion: afeword is now officially rifftrax.  not that i plan on seeing it, but it's a very thinly veiled threat to the ushers that if they don't let you go, you're going to start up RHPS style audience participation...


I can see that working.

I can also see  myself watching the Rifftrax version of this at some point.

4tehlulz!
 
2013-12-02 06:32:50 AM  
cynicalminion:
oh dear god, it's a mary sue?

Well, yeah, I just assume she had to sit on a soaker pad while she was writing it.
 
2013-12-02 06:34:17 AM  

No Such Agency: cynicalminion:
oh dear god, it's a mary sue?

Well, yeah, I just assume she had to sit on a soaker pad while she was writing it.


www.thejanedough.com
 
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