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(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)   The Amish will see your Paul Walker in a Porsche and raise you with two dead in a buggy crash   (post-gazette.com) divider line 33
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5422 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Dec 2013 at 3:44 AM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-30 11:40:37 PM
ib3.huluim.com
 
2013-11-30 11:43:53 PM
I knew I loved my modmins. I knew there was a reason why.
 
2013-12-01 12:18:50 AM
i.crackedcdn.com
 
2013-12-01 02:14:40 AM
That's rather sad, I was just out in Lancaster, Penn and was driving around the area well into the night on Friday. Was amazed at how many buggy's were still on the local roads that late at night. They all have lights and the reflectors  but still, it was a challenge.

/for the wife that is
 
2013-12-01 02:25:12 AM
i570.photobucket.com

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree, I really look good in black...fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe
It's as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise
 
2013-12-01 03:47:48 AM

AlwaysRightBoy: That's rather sad, I was just out in Lancaster, Penn and was driving around the area well into the night on Friday. Was amazed at how many buggy's were still on the local roads that late at night. They all have lights and the reflectors  but still, it was a challenge.

/for the wife that is


Worst part is when you're barreling around a corner and have to swerve back into your lane to avoid the slow-moving, oncoming traffic. Even when I don't clip the buggy, I still spill more beer than I'd care to admit.
 
2013-12-01 03:49:37 AM
too soon subby, too soon
 
2013-12-01 03:53:17 AM

Wanebo: I knew I loved my modmins. I knew there was a reason why.


kinda crass considering tfa? Americans died here!
 
2013-12-01 03:55:05 AM
Based on TFA, it wasn't so much a "buggy crash" as a "car plows into slowmoving horsedrawn carriage".
 
2013-12-01 03:56:05 AM
Clip clop clip clop bang bang clip clop...
 
2013-12-01 04:33:29 AM
Was one of them named Paul?
 
2013-12-01 04:36:16 AM
Yoke's on you subby.
 
2013-12-01 04:39:53 AM
Too Fast, Too Furious!

/Too Soon?
 
2013-12-01 04:44:01 AM
This is yesterday's news.
 
2013-12-01 04:44:06 AM

Fista-Phobia: Yoke's on you subby.


You don't even know if he likes eggs.
 
2013-12-01 04:48:57 AM
*spirited whip to horse sound*

"Faster Elijah!

Wheels shake violently

"
RELAX Jeremiah! Jesus!"
 
2013-12-01 04:50:05 AM

redmid17: Fista-Phobia: Yoke's on you subby.

You don't even know if he likes eggs.


Or MS Simulator.
 
2013-12-01 04:59:56 AM
>>kinda crass considering tfa? Americans died here! <<

Compared to non-Americans, which would be just a barrel of laughs?

Do you realize, people, that you are saying things like that out loud?
 
2013-12-01 05:26:33 AM

AlwaysRightBoy: That's rather sad, I was just out in Lancaster, Penn and was driving around the area well into the night on Friday. Was amazed at how many buggy's were still on the local roads that late at night. They all have lights and the reflectors  but still, it was a challenge.

/for the wife that is


That's because she's a woman.

/amidoinitright?
 
2013-12-01 05:42:59 AM
I hope the Amish sue the buggy maker for millions. Obviously some seriously defective airbags.
 
2013-12-01 06:49:16 AM
Was Vanilla Ice involved?
 
2013-12-01 06:50:24 AM
A buggy crash?

Is that like when a software causes you to crash your car like the Toyota?
 
2013-12-01 08:00:01 AM
Who ?
 
2013-12-01 08:27:52 AM

Pointy Tail of Satan: I hope the Amish sue the buggy maker for millions. Obviously some seriously defective airbags.


How do you get millions out of an Amish buggy maker?
 
2013-12-01 08:40:23 AM

lack of warmth: Pointy Tail of Satan: I hope the Amish sue the buggy maker for millions. Obviously some seriously defective airbags.

How do you get millions out of an Amish buggy maker?


Lebanon Levi would find a way.
 
2013-12-01 09:42:01 AM

Grahor: >>kinda crass considering tfa? Americans died here! <<

Compared to non-Americans, which would be just a barrel of laughs?

Do you realize, people, that you are saying things like that out loud?


Actually, I never say out loud the things I'm about to type.
 
2013-12-01 09:54:49 AM
Yeah, this is a "buggy crash" -- the same way that seniors in Florida get involved in "farmer's market crashes", kids getting off the bus get into "pedestrian crashes", and Paul Walker was killed in a "tree crash".
 
2013-12-01 09:57:23 AM

powhound: kinda crass considering tfa? Americans died here!


Wait, I thought it was only people in the buggy who were killed, not car-driving Actual Americans.

/yeah, feeling a bit pissed off about cars this morning
//not looking forward to a 6-hour drive
 
2013-12-01 10:01:50 AM
Something's gotta be wrong with the car driver, you don't just miss seeing a frickin' buggy.
 
2013-12-01 10:48:20 AM

FriarReb98: Something's gotta be wrong with the car driver, you don't just miss seeing a frickin' buggy.


yes you can just miss seeing a frickin' buggy.  winding, hilly roads, you're doing the 35 mph speed limit and suddenly there's a buggy in front of you doing maybe 5 mph and taking up the entire lane.  it's worse at night.  some Amish communities in their pious arrogance don't allow buggies to have lights or reflectors.  god will keep them safe.
 
2013-12-01 12:04:59 PM
Amish Cosa Nostra.
Clearly.
 
2013-12-01 01:02:19 PM

plutoniumfeather: FriarReb98: Something's gotta be wrong with the car driver, you don't just miss seeing a frickin' buggy.

yes you can just miss seeing a frickin' buggy.  winding, hilly roads, you're doing the 35 mph speed limit and suddenly there's a buggy in front of you doing maybe 5 mph and taking up the entire lane.  it's worse at night.  some Amish communities in their pious arrogance don't allow buggies to have lights or reflectors.  god will keep them safe.


And how dare those dmned horses share the road...amirite?  I grew up in horse country. There were always ashats who thought serving towards a horse was funny, or who thought seeing how close they could get was funny, or who thought trying to make the horse shy was funny.

If you live in the area, you know dmned right well the buggies are going to be there, and if you don't live there, you should look at the farking signs that tell you. Besides, you went out there to see things like buggies in the first place, so you have no farking excuses.
 
2013-12-01 01:26:19 PM

Khazar-Khum: plutoniumfeather: FriarReb98: Something's gotta be wrong with the car driver, you don't just miss seeing a frickin' buggy.

yes you can just miss seeing a frickin' buggy.  winding, hilly roads, you're doing the 35 mph speed limit and suddenly there's a buggy in front of you doing maybe 5 mph and taking up the entire lane.  it's worse at night.  some Amish communities in their pious arrogance don't allow buggies to have lights or reflectors.  god will keep them safe.

And how dare those dmned horses share the road...amirite?  I grew up in horse country. There were always ashats who thought serving towards a horse was funny, or who thought seeing how close they could get was funny, or who thought trying to make the horse shy was funny.

If you live in the area, you know dmned right well the buggies are going to be there, and if you don't live there, you should look at the farking signs that tell you. Besides, you went out there to see things like buggies in the first place, so you have no farking excuses.


Hell, there could be a cyclist ANYWHERE. Just because you own a car doesn't mean you own the road assholes. There's no farking excuse for how most Americans drive. God forbid someone inconvenience you by a moment, just farking kill anything that gets in your way.
 
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