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(Rock Paper Shotgun)   Q: How can you tell that a video game has reached new levels of badness? A: When it gets canceled AFTER being released   (rockpapershotgun.com) divider line 92
    More: Fail, the Ashes, mitigating factor, multiple platforms  
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10622 clicks; posted to Geek » on 30 Nov 2013 at 6:45 AM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-30 05:27:33 AM
Pfft, come back when you make a game so shiatty it single handedly destroys the entire video game industry.

i.huffpost.com
/that reminds me, when's that avgn movie ever going to come out?
//*runs off to the googles*
 
2013-11-30 06:28:12 AM
Still better than any other cricket video game I've ever played, which I admit is none.
 
2013-11-30 07:27:22 AM
There are some hilarious gameplay videos on YouTube, including one where the batsman run, I kid you not, 108 runs to win the game while a gaggle of fielders stand around staring at the ball on the ground, apparently having forgotten what they are supposed to do with it.

As a bonus, the in-game commentary is also hilariously inept, bearing little to no relationship to what's happening -- or more likely, not happening -- on the field.
 
2013-11-30 07:34:20 AM
QWOP.
 
2013-11-30 08:01:41 AM
Now what are the 10s of cricket fans going to do
 
2013-11-30 08:17:16 AM
Who would want to play a video game named after a tiny little insect?

3.bp.blogspot.com

besides me
 
2013-11-30 08:21:04 AM
dookdookdook [TotalFark]

Pfft, come back when you make a game so shiatty it single handedly destroys the entire video game industry.

Correlation does not imply causation.
 
2013-11-30 08:23:29 AM
I'm pretty sure you can still buy Flatout 3 and DNF.
 
2013-11-30 08:23:57 AM

czetie: As a bonus, the in-game commentary is also hilariously inept, bearing little to no relationship to what's happening -- or more likely, not happening -- on the field.


I'm still not convinced that this isn't actually an accurate feature of the game. Positions called Silly Point, Square Leg and Cow Corner? Admit it, cricket announcers are just making it up.
 
2013-11-30 08:27:27 AM

dookdookdook: Pfft, come back when you make a game so shiatty it single handedly destroys the entire video game industry.


Yeah, that's a myth.

It didn't suck more than all the other sucky games (do look up the sucky games, ET is a great game compared), it was just an example of the bubble bursting.
 
2013-11-30 08:30:34 AM

cardex: Now what are the 10s of cricket fans going to do


It's funny because the ICC Cricket World Cup Championship is routinely listed as among the most-watched sporting events in the world. The 2011 semi-final between India and Pakistan may have peaked at ONE BILLION viewers.
 
2013-11-30 08:42:51 AM

OnlyM3: dookdookdook [TotalFark]

Pfft, come back when you make a game so shiatty it single handedly destroys the entire video game industry.
Correlation does not imply causation.


Correlation may very well imply causation. It doesn't *prove* causation.
 
2013-11-30 08:46:32 AM

spawn73: dookdookdook: Pfft, come back when you make a game so shiatty it single handedly destroys the entire video game industry.

Yeah, that's a myth.

It didn't suck more than all the other sucky games (do look up the sucky games, ET is a great game compared), it was just an example of the bubble bursting.


It wasn't just that ET was a sucky game, it's how much money they threw into it, vs. how well it sold. They would have had to sell more cartridges than there were 2600 consoles to break even.
 
2013-11-30 08:47:46 AM
Didn't that happen with the Aliens/Marines game earlier this year?  I know the Wii was spared from that disaster, but Xbox and PS3 got served the tasty dish
 
2013-11-30 08:51:10 AM
Shut up and give me Stick of Destiny!
 
2013-11-30 08:51:38 AM

czetie: cardex: Now what are the 10s of cricket fans going to do

It's funny because the ICC Cricket World Cup Championship is routinely listed as among the most-watched sporting events in the world. The 2011 semi-final between India and Pakistan may have peaked at ONE BILLION viewers.


Be honest of you had to pick between watching bollywood or a baseball - bowling hybrid what would you pick

/ I would rather teabag a porcupine then either
 
2013-11-30 08:54:22 AM
This is forgivable considering that no one can understand the rules of cricket. Properly emulating the game would require several supercomputers running a neural network and even then it's likely to explode from the incomprehensible game.
 
2013-11-30 08:56:30 AM
Daikatana Cricket.
 
2013-11-30 08:57:48 AM
I remember being all excited over the release of Master of Orion 3 because I enjoyed the first two. Man it sucked. The developers promised way too much and created a glitch infested unplayable game which totally ruined the franchise. Mainly because of the money wasted in its development.

It seems they finally just gave up, packaged a beta as a release, and tried to recoup as much money from the fan base while alienating them with a POS game. Fortunately Galactic Civilizations I & II came out which are very good games.
 
2013-11-30 09:12:43 AM

enry: I'm pretty sure you can still buy Flatout 3 and DNF.


and assassins creed 3
 
2013-11-30 09:24:07 AM

MayoSlather: This is forgivable considering that no one can understand the rules of cricket. Properly emulating the game would require several supercomputers running a neural network and even then it's likely to explode from the incomprehensible game.


It's funny: I can watch a cricket game and follow what's happening with little difficulty.

But when I hear a report on a cricket match on the BBC, for example, my reaction is "This vaguely sounds like English, but I'm just not sure."
 
2013-11-30 09:36:13 AM

jake_lex: MayoSlather: This is forgivable considering that no one can understand the rules of cricket. Properly emulating the game would require several supercomputers running a neural network and even then it's likely to explode from the incomprehensible game.

It's funny: I can watch a cricket game and follow what's happening with little difficulty.

But when I hear a report on a cricket match on the BBC, for example, my reaction is "This vaguely sounds like English, but I'm just not sure."


I've attempted to watch cricket on two occasions and both times I thought I understood what was happening during brief periods of play and then something bizarre would take place that undermined everything I thought I understood. I was obviously using hyperbole regarding its complexity, but it is without a doubt a bizarre sport that is less than intuitive.
 
2013-11-30 09:37:25 AM

cardex: czetie: cardex: Now what are the 10s of cricket fans going to do

It's funny because the ICC Cricket World Cup Championship is routinely listed as among the most-watched sporting events in the world. The 2011 semi-final between India and Pakistan may have peaked at ONE BILLION viewers.

Be honest of you had to pick between watching bollywood or a baseball - bowling hybrid what would you pick

/ I would rather teabag a porcupine then either


Indeed, but what does your or my individual opinion have to do with the point in question?

If you'd said "10s of cricket fans in America" you would have a point. If you'd said "1000s of cricket fans in Europe", possibly, given cricket's minimal European following outside England. But worldwide, cricket is huge. (If you struggle with this, think of it as the mirror image of American Football and baseball). To think that cricket is obscure or niche requires a profoundly USA-centric world view.

The World Is A Very Big Place, as we used to say on AFU.
 
2013-11-30 09:48:27 AM

czetie: As a bonus, the in-game commentary is also hilariously inept, bearing little to no relationship to what's happening -- or more likely, not happening -- on the field.


How to do in-game commentary the right way, just add Jim Ross

http://cheezburger.com/55682049
 
2013-11-30 09:52:33 AM
Meanwhile if you ask EA for a refund for their admittedly broken games, they ban your Origin account.
 
2013-11-30 10:04:54 AM

czetie: There are some hilarious gameplay videos on YouTube, including one where the batsman run, I kid you not, 108 runs to win the game while a gaggle of fielders stand around staring at the ball on the ground, apparently having forgotten what they are supposed to do with it.

As a bonus, the in-game commentary is also hilariously inept, bearing little to no relationship to what's happening -- or more likely, not happening -- on the field.


Sounds accurate. What's the problem?
 
2013-11-30 10:06:37 AM

MayoSlather: jake_lex: MayoSlather: This is forgivable considering that no one can understand the rules of cricket. Properly emulating the game would require several supercomputers running a neural network and even then it's likely to explode from the incomprehensible game.

It's funny: I can watch a cricket game and follow what's happening with little difficulty.

But when I hear a report on a cricket match on the BBC, for example, my reaction is "This vaguely sounds like English, but I'm just not sure."

I've attempted to watch cricket on two occasions and both times I thought I understood what was happening during brief periods of play and then something bizarre would take place that undermined everything I thought I understood. I was obviously using hyperbole regarding its complexity, but it is without a doubt a bizarre sport that is less than intuitive.


Familiarity aside, is cricket really any worse than American football?

I didn't grow up watching American football, but I can watch and follow what's happening with little difficulty. And the more I watch the better I understand the tactical subtleties that I missed before.

But I can hear an in-depth report and somebody will say "It's a nickel situation and the defense sets up in a 3-4, the free safety comes up into the box to signal blitz, and then bails. A pulling guard blocks down the line and it's a short gain", and my reaction is "This vaguely sounds like English, but I'm just not sure."

As for terminology, is "silly point" any worse than "tight end" or "nose tackle"?

And as far as something bizarre happening that upends your understanding: I watch a lot of football where even the commentators know less than I do what's happening and make the wrong call only to correct themselves when the officials call something different (for example, not knowing that a recovered kickoff can't be advanced; or, the very first play of the regular season I saw on TV this year, not realizing that the kickoff had resulted in a safety.)

It's also apparent that many of the players and even coaches don't know all the rules. This season I watched a player staring at a kickoff lying in the endzone, the opposition bearing down on him, not realizing that he had to down it to kill the ball, because he confused the kickoff and punt live ball rules. Last season I watched a kick returner running back and forth in the end zone, trying to run down the clock, because he didn't realize that the clock only starts when he leaves the end zone. Just last week Dallas allowed the Giants to score a touchdown because two players stood talking to each other and forgot to touch the receiver down.

And how often do the officials have to huddle to figure out what happened and in what order, and even then come up with a decision whose correctness is still debated months or even years later? For complex and elaborate corner cases, there's nothing to compare with American football.
 
2013-11-30 10:08:10 AM

CheapEngineer: As a bonus, the in-game commentary is also hilariously inept, bearing little to no relationship to what's happening -- or more likely, not happening -- on the field.

Sounds accurate. What's the problem?


Nobody ever mentions buses passing the ground, whether the gasometer is full or empty, or what kind of cake has been sent as a gift to the commentators. Completely unrealistic.
 
2013-11-30 10:13:36 AM

Tyrone Slothrop: spawn73: dookdookdook: Pfft, come back when you make a game so shiatty it single handedly destroys the entire video game industry.

Yeah, that's a myth.

It didn't suck more than all the other sucky games (do look up the sucky games, ET is a great game compared), it was just an example of the bubble bursting.

It wasn't just that ET was a sucky game, it's how much money they threw into it, vs. how well it sold. They would have had to sell more cartridges than there were 2600 consoles to break even.


and then, after spending all that last minute licensing money, they gave ONE guy two weeks to program it and get it out the gate in time for christmas.

ET was the number one movie in the world at the time, a time before home video had really taken off. there was ET shiat EVERYWHERE, on everything
considering the time frame and work force, the game is quite good. There were a lot of shiatty games out there during that time mostly because the folks at atari lost a lawsuit forbidding third party developers from making game code. after that every asshole and thier brother were making rush to market crap
 
2013-11-30 10:14:03 AM
Must have been programmed by Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. GPP explains why the AI stands around the ball and does nothing.

/All these posts and no Hitchhiker's Guide pics? Fail.
 
2013-11-30 10:14:46 AM

czetie: cardex: Now what are the 10s of cricket fans going to do

It's funny because the ICC Cricket World Cup Championship is routinely listed as among the most-watched sporting events in the world. The 2011 semi-final between India and Pakistan may have peaked at ONE BILLION viewers.


 We're American. Outside of Douglas Adams books and the occasional media reference, it's hard to find anyone who's even heard of cricket, never mind actually seen an entire game.
 
2013-11-30 10:19:47 AM

JayCab: czetie: As a bonus, the in-game commentary is also hilariously inept, bearing little to no relationship to what's happening -- or more likely, not happening -- on the field.

I'm still not convinced that this isn't actually an accurate feature of the game. Positions called Silly Point, Square Leg and Cow Corner? Admit it, cricket announcers are just making it up.


I think I broke the leg of a googly wicket spinner.
 
2013-11-30 10:26:20 AM

FormlessOne: czetie: cardex: Now what are the 10s of cricket fans going to do

It's funny because the ICC Cricket World Cup Championship is routinely listed as among the most-watched sporting events in the world. The 2011 semi-final between India and Pakistan may have peaked at ONE BILLION viewers.

 We're American. Outside of Douglas Adams books and the occasional media reference, it's hard to find anyone who's even heard of cricket, never mind actually seen an entire game.


I think if robots invaded the field and started killing people a lot more people would watch
 
2013-11-30 10:27:57 AM

JayCab: czetie: As a bonus, the in-game commentary is also hilariously inept, bearing little to no relationship to what's happening -- or more likely, not happening -- on the field.

I'm still not convinced that this isn't actually an accurate feature of the game. Positions called Silly Point, Square Leg and Cow Corner? Admit it, cricket announcers are just making it up.


Oh yeah, Cricket is like Calvinball. No rules, all made up on the spot. It's a prank on us colonial types.
 
2013-11-30 10:29:33 AM

JayCab: Admit it, cricket announcers are just making it up.


I dunno. Imagine someone who's never even heard of football trying to make sense of John Madden.
 
2013-11-30 10:30:15 AM

cardex: Be honest of you had to pick between watching bollywood or a baseball - bowling hybrid what would you pick


Bollywood. Hands down. It makes far more sense and they break into cheery dance numbers every few minutes.
 
2013-11-30 10:32:49 AM
Sounds like the game got yorked in the googlies and is out for a duck.

Does the gameplay include the bowler rubbing the ball on his crotch?

MayoSlather: jake_lex: MayoSlather: This is forgivable considering that no one can understand the rules of cricket. Properly emulating the game would require several supercomputers running a neural network and even then it's likely to explode from the incomprehensible game.

It's funny: I can watch a cricket game and follow what's happening with little difficulty.

But when I hear a report on a cricket match on the BBC, for example, my reaction is "This vaguely sounds like English, but I'm just not sure."

I've attempted to watch cricket on two occasions and both times I thought I understood what was happening during brief periods of play and then something bizarre would take place that undermined everything I thought I understood. I was obviously using hyperbole regarding its complexity, but it is without a doubt a bizarre sport that is less than intuitive.


It's quite simple:
"You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!"
 
2013-11-30 10:39:59 AM

Gunderson: czetie: As a bonus, the in-game commentary is also hilariously inept, bearing little to no relationship to what's happening -- or more likely, not happening -- on the field.

How to do in-game commentary the right way, just add Jim Ross

http://cheezburger.com/55682049


Thank you muchly for the laughs.  That was brilliant!
 
2013-11-30 10:52:03 AM

heavymetal: I remember being all excited over the release of Master of Orion 3 because I enjoyed the first two. Man it sucked. The developers promised way too much and created a glitch infested unplayable game which totally ruined the franchise. Mainly because of the money wasted in its development.

It seems they finally just gave up, packaged a beta as a release, and tried to recoup as much money from the fan base while alienating them with a POS game. Fortunately Galactic Civilizations I & II came out which are very good games.


I experience that pain too :( But yeah Galactic Civilization really did make up for it (still play 2 sometimes.)
 
2013-11-30 10:53:24 AM
moderatelygeeky.com


Cricket?  You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket.
 
2013-11-30 10:54:28 AM

Electrify: Meanwhile if you ask EA for a refund for their admittedly broken games, they ban your Origin account.


Not true.  I got a refund for SimCity.
 
2013-11-30 11:10:45 AM
The Giant Bomb Quick Look of this game is magical: www.giantbomb.com/videos/quick-look-ashes-cricket-2013/2300-8266/
 
2013-11-30 11:14:16 AM

czetie: The 2011 semi-final between India and Pakistan may have peaked at ONE BILLION viewers.


I bet that stadium smelled great.
 
2013-11-30 11:34:53 AM

heavymetal: I remember being all excited over the release of Master of Orion 3 because I enjoyed the first two. Man it sucked. The developers promised way too much and created a glitch infested unplayable game which totally ruined the franchise. Mainly because of the money wasted in its development.

It seems they finally just gave up, packaged a beta as a release, and tried to recoup as much money from the fan base while alienating them with a POS game. Fortunately Galactic Civilizations I & II came out which are very good games.


I remember that.  Were my build ques supposed to change after I clicked the turn?  What a crappy way to take a dump on a franchise.
 
2013-11-30 12:00:17 PM

born_yesterday: heavymetal: I remember being all excited over the release of Master of Orion 3 because I enjoyed the first two. Man it sucked. The developers promised way too much and created a glitch infested unplayable game which totally ruined the franchise. Mainly because of the money wasted in its development.

It seems they finally just gave up, packaged a beta as a release, and tried to recoup as much money from the fan base while alienating them with a POS game. Fortunately Galactic Civilizations I & II came out which are very good games.

I remember that.  Were my build ques supposed to change after I clicked the turn?  What a crappy way to take a dump on a franchise.


Thirded. Although I do appreciate the philosophical approach they tried (emperors tend to deal w/ macro, not the micro of colony management). But w/ such a buggy AI, buggy combat, and other technical glitches, it never had a chance.
 
2013-11-30 12:01:04 PM

qorkfiend: JayCab: Admit it, cricket announcers are just making it up.

I dunno. Imagine someone who's never even heard of football trying to make sense of John Madden.

 
2013-11-30 12:39:05 PM
ET was considered a bad game because kids are too stupid to read the manual.
 
2013-11-30 12:55:59 PM

FormlessOne: czetie: cardex: Now what are the 10s of cricket fans going to do

It's funny because the ICC Cricket World Cup Championship is routinely listed as among the most-watched sporting events in the world. The 2011 semi-final between India and Pakistan may have peaked at ONE BILLION viewers.

 We're American. Outside of Douglas Adams books and the occasional media reference, it's hard to find anyone who's even heard of cricket, never mind actually seen an entire game.


If it weren't for the Fifth Doctor's love of cricket, I'd have never heard of the game.
 
2013-11-30 01:01:47 PM

Electrify: Meanwhile if you ask EA for a refund for their admittedly broken games, they ban your Origin account.


http://kotaku.com/origin-now-lets-you-return-ea-game-downloads-for-f ul l-r-1169643732

Ah, nothing like blind and retarded hate.
 
2013-11-30 01:02:31 PM
505 Games has published some really questionable indie titles, lately.  Takedown Red Sabre, for example....
 
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