If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Raw Story)   God continues to prank call Ted Cruz's father   (rawstory.com) divider line 91
    More: Asinine, Rafael Cruz, god, God told  
•       •       •

5377 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 Nov 2013 at 3:53 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-11-29 03:36:05 PM  
I like how he quotes Ezekiel, a book of the Old Testament.

Someone should ask if his suit is a blend of fabrics, or when the last time he had a cheeseburger was.

Old Testament: Doesn't count, except when we want it to
 
2013-11-29 03:42:29 PM  

grumpfuff: I like how he quotes Ezekiel, a book of the Old Testament.

Someone should ask if his suit is a blend of fabrics, or when the last time he had a cheeseburger was.

Old Testament: Doesn't count, except when we want it to


I notice he's not covering his head, and I'd bet dollars to donuts that he's given one of these screeds over an electronic PA system at least once after sundown on a Friday.
 
2013-11-29 03:50:30 PM  
The important thing to remember is that Jeremiah Wright TOTALLY spoke for Obama, but you can't think Ted Cruz shares anything with his father.
 
2013-11-29 03:54:33 PM  
"Political correctness is killing us," Rafael Cruz said

So it's OK if we go back to calling Sarah Palin's youngest spawn "retarded?"
 
2013-11-29 03:55:48 PM  

Skeezix: "Political correctness is killing us," Rafael Cruz said

So it's OK if we go back to calling Sarah Palin's youngest spawn "retarded?"

 
2013-11-29 03:59:34 PM  

mediablitz: The important thing to remember is that Jeremiah Wright TOTALLY spoke for Obama, but you can't think Ted Cruz shares anything with his father.


I didn't think that Ted had distanced himself from his dad's comments
 
2013-11-29 04:01:05 PM  
"is your refrigerator running? because your blasphemy has earned you an eternity in the lake of fire!"

- God
 
2013-11-29 04:02:53 PM  

Albino Squid: Skeezix: "Political correctness is killing us," Rafael Cruz said

So it's OK if we go back to calling Sarah Palin's youngest spawn "retarded?" a coonty trailer trash whore who belongs barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen and not opening her mouth without the permission of her master?


Fundamentalist women should know the fundamentals.
 
2013-11-29 04:04:07 PM  
"Political correctness is killing us," Rafael Cruz said

I have never met anyone who believes this who wasn't an absolute retard with repugnant views.
 
2013-11-29 04:05:27 PM  
The EXACT reason iPhone needs a block feature on certain numbers.
 
2013-11-29 04:05:48 PM  
I enjoy random speeches of utter vague references. Political correctness is killing this country. Take this country back for righteousness. Pastors hiding behind the pulpit. None of those phrases mean anything without examples or further explanations, yet none are offered because the crowd explicitly accepts whatever his interpretation will be or implicitly introduces personal interpretation. When I find myself listening to such a person, especially a person who shares similar views and values as myself, I get turned off fast.
 
2013-11-29 04:06:49 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: mediablitz: The important thing to remember is that Jeremiah Wright TOTALLY spoke for Obama, but you can't think Ted Cruz shares anything with his father.

I didn't think that Ted had distanced himself from his dad's comments


Ah. That explains why Cruz's crazy comments are wasting bandwidth.

/most of the insane don't get press
//except tea party
 
2013-11-29 04:08:26 PM  

Tripp Johnston Private Eye: "Political correctness is killing us," Rafael Cruz said

I have never met anyone who believes this who wasn't an absolute retard with repugnant views.


Have you tried traveling outside of your state to confirm this? Just curious.
 
2013-11-29 04:10:39 PM  
Can anyone explain to me why this coffin-dodging nutjob gets a public platform? Did Sarah Palin's father get invited to GOP wingdings? Did anyone invite John Boehner's dad to speak to large gatherings of the vicious and stupid? Why is Daddy Cruz getting a spot in the limelight just because he has a well-known son?
 
2013-11-29 04:12:34 PM  
Cruz said that Christians needed to "take this country back for righteousness."

Take it back from who, specifically?  How did "they" get get control of the entire US?  What is "righteousness?"  Is it possible these are all empty terms with fluid, changing meanings that just allow Rafael Cruz to attention-whore and fund-raise in front of the gullible and ignorant?  God himself is paying attention to Rafael Cruz and giving him personal messages, and you can believe Rafael Cruz because he never lies, and he always tells the truth.

Religious Fundamentalism - not bat-shiat insanity, but #1 with the bat-shiat insane.
 
2013-11-29 04:15:06 PM  

mediablitz: The important thing to remember is that Jeremiah Wright TOTALLY spoke for Obama, but you can't think Ted Cruz shares anything with his father.


God Damn This.   

/This farkwad sounds like a false prophet to me.
 
2013-11-29 04:19:44 PM  
And the reason I know without a doubt that I heard from God is that - supernaturally -  without my moving a finger pastors' conferences began materializing week after week after week. I'm doing pastors conferences now all over the country. I have not organized one of them. It is God.

So does that make God a community organizer or his secretary.
 
2013-11-29 04:19:51 PM  
God spoke to me and told me to ignore Rafael Cruz.
 
2013-11-29 04:20:44 PM  

"I call you as Watchmen upon the wall"


static.comicvine.com

 
2013-11-29 04:21:36 PM  

Tripp Johnston Private Eye: "Political correctness is killing us," Rafael Cruz said

I have never met anyone who believes this who wasn't an absolute retard with repugnant views.


This is correct.
 
2013-11-29 04:22:55 PM  
It's like the modern version of here there be monsters with people like this douche.
 
2013-11-29 04:24:24 PM  
He doesn't think pastors are standing up for Christian values? This is why you must never let religion into government - you will never be holy enough by some shrill right-wing douchebag standard.
 
2013-11-29 04:35:15 PM  

BorgiaGinz: Can anyone explain to me why this coffin-dodging nutjob gets a public platform? Did Sarah Palin's father get invited to GOP wingdings? Did anyone invite John Boehner's dad to speak to large gatherings of the vicious and stupid? Why is Daddy Cruz getting a spot in the limelight just because he has a well-known son?


They spent a lot of time talking about Obama's dad and very little mention of his mother. Why do you think that is?
That's right, Because the right hates women! I knew you would get it.
 
2013-11-29 04:38:58 PM  

El Pachuco: What is "righteousness?"


That would be the Hebrew word that is usually translated into English as "charity."
/Also means fairness and justice.
//In other words, everything the neo-con(federate)s are against.
 
2013-11-29 04:40:30 PM  
Why do so many so-called 'Christians' always go running to the Old Testament or to Paul for confirmation of their batshiat crazy ideas and never to the words/deeds of Christ himself? Can't be much of a Christian if you're always quoting/following SOMEONE ELSE.

/and you can't 'take back' something you never had in the first place
 
2013-11-29 04:43:38 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-29 04:51:21 PM  
img.fark.net
Giving Jehovah an Invisible Blowjob (and a friendly ball-jiggle too)
 
2013-11-29 04:53:23 PM  

TV's Vinnie: [img.fark.net image 615x345]
Giving Jehovah an Invisible Blowjob (and a friendly ball-jiggle too)


That looks like a rather nice Puerto Rican flag next to him.
 
2013-11-29 04:54:34 PM  

BorgiaGinz: Can anyone explain to me why this coffin-dodging nutjob gets a public platform? Did Sarah Palin's father get invited to GOP wingdings? Did anyone invite John Boehner's dad to speak to large gatherings of the vicious and stupid? Why is Daddy Cruz getting a spot in the limelight just because he has a well-known son?


Because religion.
 
2013-11-29 04:55:22 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: TV's Vinnie: [img.fark.net image 615x345]
Giving Jehovah an Invisible Blowjob (and a friendly ball-jiggle too)

That looks like a rather nice Puerto Rican flag next to him.


I think that's supposed to be Texas.
 
2013-11-29 04:57:06 PM  

Millennium: demaL-demaL-yeH: TV's Vinnie: [img.fark.net image 615x345]
Giving Jehovah an Invisible Blowjob (and a friendly ball-jiggle too)

That looks like a rather nice Puerto Rican flag next to him.

I think that's supposed to be Texas.


[That's_the_joke.jpg]
 
2013-11-29 04:57:24 PM  
As my mom used to say, "Oh, for the love of Mike."

/Fittingly secular, I presume
 
2013-11-29 05:13:49 PM  

SomeoneDumb: As my mom used to say, "Oh, for the love of Mike."

/Fittingly secular, I presume


Um, no.  That refers to St. Michael the Archangel.  Just like "For Pete's sake!" refers to St. Peter.

But I say it too, apostate and damned though I am.
 
2013-11-29 05:17:38 PM  
"Political correctness" wins out over "family values" in my book, every time.
 
2013-11-29 05:26:37 PM  

Millennium: demaL-demaL-yeH: TV's Vinnie: [img.fark.net image 615x345]
Giving Jehovah an Invisible Blowjob (and a friendly ball-jiggle too)

That looks like a rather nice Puerto Rican flag next to him.

I think that's supposed to be Texas.


Looks an awful lot like the flag of Chile. I'm just saying what is he trying to hide, exactly?

www.enchantedlearning.com
 
2013-11-29 05:32:01 PM  

Sass-O-Rev: "Political correctness" wins out over "family values" in my book, every time.


Because dividing people into gender, racial, ethnic, and ideological camps and forbidding others to say hurtful things about one another certainly helps with this hostile climate.

When has anything POLITICAL ever been considered correct since the Civil Rights movement?
 
2013-11-29 05:40:56 PM  
Shame on you all here! This holy man and his servant of the people son are trying to do the work of the lord! Are county was founded in Christian antity and you may burn in the fires off HELL FOr suggesting otherwise!!! Jorge Washington was a patriot pastor who preached the word of God before sending his men into battle of Lexington, Gettysburg, and Hapsburg. Cruz will be the holy arm of Jesus of his son giving instruction and advice to our next pwesident CRUZ!!! CRUZ/\PALIN amen16
 
2013-11-29 05:43:47 PM  
For me, "political correctness" implies an attempt at inclusion. "Family values" (again, IMO) tends to be excluding.

/grew up during the Civil Rights movement.
//get off my lawn.
///j/k. You are very welcome on my lawn.
 
2013-11-29 05:45:07 PM  

rjakobi: Sass-O-Rev: "Political correctness" wins out over "family values" in my book, every time.

Because dividing people into gender, racial, ethnic, and ideological camps and forbidding others to say hurtful things about one another certainly helps with this hostile climate.

When has anything POLITICAL ever been considered correct since the Civil Rights movement?


Dang! forgot to link my comment (just above) to your comment! I think I need more coffee. :D
 
2013-11-29 05:51:28 PM  

Tripp Johnston Private Eye: "Political correctness is killing us," Rafael Cruz said

I have never met anyone who believes this who wasn't an absolute retard with repugnant views.


Anytime I hear someone biatch about political correctness, I know they're about to show what an asshole they are.  It's another version of, "I'm not racist but. .  ."
 
2013-11-29 05:59:48 PM  
rosamondpress.files.wordpress.com
Yes...
Why me?
I said "WHY ME?!"
Yes...
Yes...
 
2013-11-29 06:01:17 PM  

Tripp Johnston Private Eye: "Political correctness is killing us," Rafael Cruz said

I have never met anyone who believes this who wasn't an absolute retard with repugnant views.


Translation: "Why can't I openly use the N-word?? It's what those people call themselves!"
 
2013-11-29 06:26:19 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Giving Jehovah an Invisible Blowjob (and a friendly ball-jiggle too)


I like this post in this thread, but I absolutely loved it in the other thread.
 
2013-11-29 06:36:01 PM  
That God fellow, why doesn't he just speak to every one?

He does but we're not listening?

Then why doesn't he appear as a burning bush to everyone, that would get our attention, wouldn't it?

What? We cannot start to hope to comprehend why he does the things he does the way he do them?

That's mighty convenient for you if you ask me.

I'm talking to myself?

Aren't you?
 
2013-11-29 06:45:19 PM  
This guy is the gift that keeps on giving.
 
2013-11-29 06:45:50 PM  
God apparently only talks to dimwits.
 
2013-11-29 07:51:38 PM  

Fart_Machine: This guy is the gift that keeps on giving.


the Grift that keeps on Grifting.

"Ted" Cruz was raised by this man. How much would one wager that the younger Mr. Cruz was raised to believe he's the Second Coming (of Ayn Rand)? Imagine having that preached at you every night at the dinner table. Imagine a United States Senator who actually believes he's the penultimate philosopher whose father told him from the day he was born, that his destiny was set in stone and absolute. That such a destiny is to fight (and win of course) that battle at Armageddon that brings back the Lord to punish the wicked.

I knew people in high school who thought like this. Who would rant themselves into a apoplectic purple froth over ideas like this. I wonder how many of them are pushing shopping carts full of dead kittens and dolls heads?
 
2013-11-29 08:04:12 PM  
Are you there,God? It's me, Rafael.
 
2013-11-29 08:05:33 PM  
homegrownmedia.com

What God may look like.
 
2013-11-29 08:06:41 PM  

TV's Vinnie: [img.fark.net image 615x345]
Giving Jehovah an Invisible Blowjob (and a friendly ball-jiggle too)


Double blowjob...

He's cupping the second pair of balls
 
Displayed 50 of 91 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report