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(Black Friday Death Count)   ... father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my holiday savings, in this life or the next   (blackfridaydeathcount.com) divider line 63
    More: Dumbass  
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11546 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Nov 2013 at 3:20 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-29 03:03:34 PM
That's depressing and hilarious at the same time.

Deprelarious?
 
2013-11-29 03:22:53 PM
Well-played, subbie.
 
2013-11-29 03:23:23 PM
Black Friday is America's Hajj.
 
2013-11-29 03:23:36 PM
gifrific.com
 
2013-11-29 03:24:58 PM

Thurston Howell: [gifrific.com image 500x213]


between subby and this, it's over. Call it!
 
2013-11-29 03:25:04 PM
It does cull the herd abit
 
2013-11-29 03:25:21 PM
images.wikia.com
 
GBB
2013-11-29 03:26:47 PM
I'm watching Gladiator on TNT right now, so I'm getting a kick....
 
2013-11-29 03:27:25 PM
One of those is for an incident during a Black Friday sale in the UK.  I didn't know stores in the UK had those.
 
2013-11-29 03:28:42 PM

gnosis301: Black Friday is America's Hajj.


LOL.  That's true on several levels.
 
2013-11-29 03:29:09 PM
I'm was so embarrassed looking at that . . . and then I wondered: is this so different than any other day?
 
2013-11-29 03:31:17 PM
Black Friday Death Count is totally the name of my next band.
 
2013-11-29 03:32:25 PM
Black Friday, a sales event and public bloodsport in one! You could almost sell tickets for this kind of thing.
 
2013-11-29 03:33:41 PM
This news vexes me.
 
2013-11-29 03:35:42 PM
Subby, great headline.

This just makes me shake my head in shame for humanity. To paraphrase a cracked article I read today: what in the blue holy f*ck is wrong with people?
 
2013-11-29 03:43:30 PM
I saw one news item about one Santa berating, with a bullhorn, Thanksgiving day shopping crowds for shopping on the holiday. I'm disappointed there weren't more....
 
2013-11-29 03:45:32 PM
You know what's fun on Black Friday? If you don't really need to buy anything, and have some time to kill, go to Walmart or BestBuy or wherever the crazy-ass shoppers are in your area. Get a cart and fill it up with random, embarrassing stuff...Astroglide, Trojans, Depends, Ex-Lax, etc. Then just go around the store dropping items into the baskets of unsuspecting patrons when they turn around. Keep an eye on 'em when they go to the checkout.
 
2013-11-29 03:47:19 PM
We shoppers are but shadows and dust...
 
2013-11-29 03:48:06 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: You know what's fun on Black Friday? If you don't really need to buy anything, and have some time to kill, go to Walmart or BestBuy or wherever the crazy-ass shoppers are in your area. Get a cart and fill it up with random, embarrassing stuff...Astroglide, Trojans, Depends, Ex-Lax, etc. Then just go around the store dropping items into the baskets of unsuspecting patrons when they turn around. Keep an eye on 'em when they go to the checkout.



I approve of this plan.
durbnpoisn.comli.com
 
2013-11-29 03:48:30 PM
Come to the dark side!

All of your friends are doing it. Come on! Just a little shopping on thanksgiving can't hurt you. Just a little shopping. We have brownies and hot chocolate. All it costs... is your soul. It's not like you're using it right now. Just a little shopping, just one little doodad for Christmas. You know you want to.
 
2013-11-29 03:52:07 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: You know what's fun on Black Friday? If you don't really need to buy anything, and have some time to kill, go to Walmart or BestBuy or wherever the crazy-ass shoppers are in your area. Get a cart and fill it up with random, embarrassing stuff...Astroglide, Trojans, Depends, Ex-Lax, etc. Then just go around the store dropping items into the baskets of unsuspecting patrons when they turn around. Keep an eye on 'em when they go to the checkout.


I want to the Mall just before Christmas to get a few things.

Parking NIGHTMARE. I went to the car to drop off things and rather than move the car I walked to a Home Depot a few hundred years away on the other side of the
shopping center parking lot.
I noticed that folks were following me to my car so I had to politely wave them off...a couple of times. And people were *pissed* because I wasn't leaving. So I said EFF EWE.

I walked across the parking lot and gathered a few cars behind me like I was walking to another imaginary car with my keys in my hand and then I would quickly dart between rows to the other isle. People would get PISSED I wasn't stopping at a car to let them have the spot. A few times I even paused behind some random car acting like I was going to open it only to walk completely in another direction.

I did this for like 15 minutes.


/Lucky I wasn't shot. F*UCK Holiday shoppers.

// In before "You sir,  are an *a$$hole"
 
2013-11-29 03:56:38 PM

ChipNASA: Sin_City_Superhero: You know what's fun on Black Friday? If you don't really need to buy anything, and have some time to kill, go to Walmart or BestBuy or wherever the crazy-ass shoppers are in your area. Get a cart and fill it up with random, embarrassing stuff...Astroglide, Trojans, Depends, Ex-Lax, etc. Then just go around the store dropping items into the baskets of unsuspecting patrons when they turn around. Keep an eye on 'em when they go to the checkout.

I want to the Mall just before Christmas to get a few things.

Parking NIGHTMARE. I went to the car to drop off things and rather than move the car I walked to a Home Depot a few hundred years away on the other side of the
shopping center parking lot.
I noticed that folks were following me to my car so I had to politely wave them off...a couple of times. And people were *pissed* because I wasn't leaving. So I said EFF EWE.

I walked across the parking lot and gathered a few cars behind me like I was walking to another imaginary car with my keys in my hand and then I would quickly dart between rows to the other isle. People would get PISSED I wasn't stopping at a car to let them have the spot. A few times I even paused behind some random car acting like I was going to open it only to walk completely in another direction.

I did this for like 15 minutes.


/Lucky I wasn't shot. F*UCK Holiday shoppers.

// In before "You sir,  are an *a$$hole"


That's funny shiat, both of these posts.
 
2013-11-29 03:57:02 PM
If you actually look at the numbers, the black Friday horror show looks a bit like the knock out game; mostly media hype.

That said, if we could get someone to play knock out with black Friday shoppers that would be awesome.
 
2013-11-29 04:01:36 PM
I got this link FTFA.

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/worker-dies-long-island-wal-mart -t rampled-black-friday-stampede-article-1.334059

Can you imagine being paid minimum wage just to die under the feet of a mob of human garbage?  What a waste.  Happy farking holidays. Everyone involved should be branded and banished to fend for themselves in the wilderness.
 
2013-11-29 04:03:31 PM

Egoy3k: I got this link FTFA.

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/worker-dies-long-island-wal-mart -t rampled-black-friday-stampede-article-1.334059

Can you imagine being paid minimum wage just to die under the feet of a mob of human garbage?  What a waste.  Happy farking holidays. Everyone involved should be branded and banished to fend for themselves in the wilderness.


Also yes before anyone comments I am aware this is a 5 year old article, it's still disgusting.
 
2013-11-29 04:05:37 PM
At least we are getting rid of some fat people.
 
2013-11-29 04:14:26 PM

Egoy3k: Egoy3k: I got this link FTFA.

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/worker-dies-long-island-wal-mart -t rampled-black-friday-stampede-article-1.334059

Can you imagine being paid minimum wage just to die under the feet of a mob of human garbage?  What a waste.  Happy farking holidays. Everyone involved should be branded and banished to fend for themselves in the wilderness.

Also yes before anyone comments I am aware this is a 5 year old article, it's still disgusting.


Tempus fugit cum ludus?
 
2013-11-29 04:16:23 PM
For a second I thought it was 474 deaths already this year.
 
2013-11-29 04:19:00 PM
not enough
 
2013-11-29 04:19:35 PM
really, does it even COUNT as black friday anymore when it starts 6hrs before ANY color of friday does?
 
2013-11-29 04:22:24 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
We are the watchers on the mall
 
2013-11-29 04:25:43 PM

ChipNASA: Sin_City_Superhero: You know what's fun on Black Friday? If you don't really need to buy anything, and have some time to kill, go to Walmart or BestBuy or wherever the crazy-ass shoppers are in your area. Get a cart and fill it up with random, embarrassing stuff...Astroglide, Trojans, Depends, Ex-Lax, etc. Then just go around the store dropping items into the baskets of unsuspecting patrons when they turn around. Keep an eye on 'em when they go to the checkout.

I want to the Mall just before Christmas to get a few things.

Parking NIGHTMARE. I went to the car to drop off things and rather than move the car I walked to a Home Depot a few hundred years away on the other side of the
shopping center parking lot.
I noticed that folks were following me to my car so I had to politely wave them off...a couple of times. And people were *pissed* because I wasn't leaving. So I said EFF EWE.

I walked across the parking lot and gathered a few cars behind me like I was walking to another imaginary car with my keys in my hand and then I would quickly dart between rows to the other isle. People would get PISSED I wasn't stopping at a car to let them have the spot. A few times I even paused behind some random car acting like I was going to open it only to walk completely in another direction.

I did this for like 15 minutes.


/Lucky I wasn't shot. F*UCK Holiday shoppers.

// In before "You sir,  are an *a$$hole"


both funny, but as a regular pedestrian anyway, i gotta give better props to "go ahead and try to tell a cashier (especially with a line behind you) that you've decided you don't need the condoms" over "just because i have my keys out doesn't mean i've got a car, dipshiat"
 
2013-11-29 04:29:34 PM
America is a terrible place.  Don't go there.
 
2013-11-29 04:33:13 PM

weltallica: America is a terrible place


Clearly YOU'VE never been to a Walmart on Black Friday...
 
2013-11-29 04:36:13 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: You know what's fun on Black Friday? If you don't really need to buy anything, and have some time to kill, go to Walmart or BestBuy or wherever the crazy-ass shoppers are in your area. Get a cart and fill it up with random, embarrassing stuff...Astroglide, Trojans, Depends, Ex-Lax, etc. Then just go around the store dropping items into the baskets of unsuspecting patrons when they turn around. Keep an eye on 'em when they go to the checkout.


And you can do it with your favorite Pecker, if you'd like
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-11-29 04:49:44 PM

weltallica: America is a terrible place.  Don't go there.


So edgy!
 
2013-11-29 04:50:43 PM
All I see is lemmings. Lemmings for miles and miles.
 
2013-11-29 04:51:56 PM
Folks, the toll is cumulative since 2006, there have been no deaths yet this year.
 
2013-11-29 04:53:10 PM

GBB: I'm watching Gladiator on TNT right now, so I'm getting a kick....


Been awhile since I saw it... I noticed they stretched it out the whole afternoon, so I passed.
 
2013-11-29 05:17:02 PM

unamused: Folks, the toll is cumulative since 2006, there have been no deaths yet this year.


DAMNIT!
 
2013-11-29 05:22:29 PM

unamused: Folks, the toll is cumulative since 2006, there have been no deaths yet this year.


Come on people, we can do better than this.
 
2013-11-29 05:30:31 PM

wxboy: One of those is for an incident during a Black Friday sale in the UK.  I didn't know stores in the UK had those.


The store in question is owned by Walmart, so I would guess they're trying to make it a thing here as well.
 
2013-11-29 05:35:43 PM
I spent the day working in Alexandria, Va and it was not bad. Traffic was mild, people were pleasant; it was much better than a "regular" Friday, even I95 south (back to Fredericksburg) was not congested. Very much.
 
2013-11-29 05:35:56 PM
Not as bad as I thought.  Over seven years?!  Pfft.  I'll bet more people are killed and injured in malls on ANY other single day BUT Black Friday.  Idiots hype the day, morons hype the deaths.
 
2013-11-29 05:46:37 PM
Maybe next year I'll walk down the line before the shops open and hand out shivs. That should speed things up a bit.
 
2013-11-29 06:29:42 PM

laars: Black Friday Death Body Count is totally the name of my next band.

 
2013-11-29 06:36:49 PM

gnosis301: Black Friday is America's Hajj.


And the state religion is Capitalism.
 
2013-11-29 06:43:17 PM

Thurston Howell: [gifrific.com image 500x213]


I can't speak for everyone, but I sure as hell am.
 
2013-11-29 07:04:02 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: You know what's fun on Black Friday? If you don't really need to buy anything, and have some time to kill, go to Walmart or BestBuy or wherever the crazy-ass shoppers are in your area. Get a cart and fill it up with random, embarrassing stuff...Astroglide, Trojans, Depends, Ex-Lax, etc. Then just go around the store dropping items into the baskets of unsuspecting patrons when they turn around. Keep an eye on 'em when they go to the checkout.



I cannot WAIT to do this.
 
2013-11-29 07:29:31 PM

John Buck 41: Sin_City_Superhero: You know what's fun on Black Friday? If you don't really need to buy anything, and have some time to kill, go to Walmart or BestBuy or wherever the crazy-ass shoppers are in your area. Get a cart and fill it up with random, embarrassing stuff...Astroglide, Trojans, Depends, Ex-Lax, etc. Then just go around the store dropping items into the baskets of unsuspecting patrons when they turn around. Keep an eye on 'em when they go to the checkout.


I cannot WAIT to do this.


That isn't mine and I don't know how it got in the cart.

Ok, I'll put it in the restock pile.


Wow what an evil plan you thought up.
 
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