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(ABC Local)   You wreck your hummer breaking your girlfriend's pelvis. Do you: a) wait for emergency services, b) drive her to the hospital, or c) stuff her in a convenient attic?   (abclocal.go.com) divider line 77
    More: Dumbass, Friendswood, girlfriend, roll overs, pelvic fracture  
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10734 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Nov 2013 at 4:31 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-29 03:57:30 PM
We're talking about a hummer here. If I wrecked her pelvis, I'd be bragging to anyone that would listen
 
2013-11-29 03:58:05 PM

Peter von Nostrand: We're talking about a hummer here. If I wrecked her pelvis, I'd be bragging to anyone that would listen


*broke, too
 
2013-11-29 04:34:19 PM
17 years old, out at 2am.  And I'm 99% sure that some combination of drugs, alcohol, and weapons was involved too.
 
2013-11-29 04:35:55 PM
I'm sure that there will be someone along to say why it's ok for teenagers to be running around with 20 year-olds. Nothing bad could possibly happen in that circumstance....
 
2013-11-29 04:37:09 PM

Peter von Nostrand: Peter von Nostrand: We're talking about a hummer here. If I wrecked her pelvis, I'd be bragging to anyone that would listen

*broke, too


Yeah, if he broke her jaw in a hummer accident that would be impressive but at least understandable.  If he managed to break her pelvis, he's either a God amongst men or they were doing it very, very wrong.
 
2013-11-29 04:38:17 PM
Oddly enough, I expected this to be about a penile accident involving a RealDoll before I clicked on the link...
 
2013-11-29 04:39:11 PM

iheartscotch: I'm sure that there will be someone along to say why it's ok for teenagers to be running around with 20 year-olds. Nothing bad could possibly happen in that circumstance....


Cuz if she had been out with another drunk 17-year-old, there's no way that accident would have happened.
 
2013-11-29 04:39:29 PM
www.iconsoffright.com
 
2013-11-29 04:41:17 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: iheartscotch: I'm sure that there will be someone along to say why it's ok for teenagers to be running around with 20 year-olds. Nothing bad could possibly happen in that circumstance....

Cuz if she had been out with another drunk 17-year-old, there's no way that accident would have happened.


Maybe, 17 year olds shouldn't have access to cars OR booze? Can we do that? Is that an equitable situation?
 
2013-11-29 04:41:44 PM
He had no car and nobody would help him so he carried her inside an empty house/garage where presumably the only "inside" access was the attic which would be warmer than lying on the cold concrete floor of the garage. True, maybe at that point he should have just broken in to the house proper but I'm not sure I see the problem here with these actions.  As for the driving intoxicated or whatever was probably happening, yeah, that is another story.
 
2013-11-29 04:46:45 PM
young invincible, huh?
 
2013-11-29 04:47:57 PM
Prediction: "Hummer" (which is not a vehicle, dammit) or no, he will soon discover how many of the guys in prison are FitzWilliams.
 
2013-11-29 04:51:14 PM
If I were that girl's daddy, Mr. Fitzpatrick would soon be alligator bait...and I'd take my time about killing the alligator.
 
2013-11-29 04:55:27 PM

iheartscotch: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: iheartscotch: I'm sure that there will be someone along to say why it's ok for teenagers to be running around with 20 year-olds. Nothing bad could possibly happen in that circumstance....

Cuz if she had been out with another drunk 17-year-old, there's no way that accident would have happened.

Maybe, 17 year olds shouldn't have access to cars OR booze? Can we do that? Is that an equitable situation?


No.
 
2013-11-29 04:58:03 PM
I can't even...I don't know where to start with this one.
 
2013-11-29 04:59:22 PM
Wow. What an asshole
 
2013-11-29 05:01:48 PM

Slaxl: iheartscotch: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: iheartscotch: I'm sure that there will be someone along to say why it's ok for teenagers to be running around with 20 year-olds. Nothing bad could possibly happen in that circumstance....

Cuz if she had been out with another drunk 17-year-old, there's no way that accident would have happened.

Maybe, 17 year olds shouldn't have access to cars OR booze? Can we do that? Is that an equitable situation?

No.


I see, I assume you advocate a more laissez faire approach? I agree that there is some merit in such a notion; such as, a sip of wine at dinner should not be an arrest-able offense.

But, I submit to you that teenagers are idiots; as such, I feel it is perfectly equitable to limit a minor's access to booze.
 
2013-11-29 05:04:46 PM

iheartscotch: Slaxl: iheartscotch: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: iheartscotch: I'm sure that there will be someone along to say why it's ok for teenagers to be running around with 20 year-olds. Nothing bad could possibly happen in that circumstance....

Cuz if she had been out with another drunk 17-year-old, there's no way that accident would have happened.

Maybe, 17 year olds shouldn't have access to cars OR booze? Can we do that? Is that an equitable situation?

No.

I see, I assume you advocate a more laissez faire approach? I agree that there is some merit in such a notion; such as, a sip of wine at dinner should not be an arrest-able offense.

But, I submit to you that teenagers are idiots; as such, I feel it is perfectly equitable to limit a minor's access to booze.


I agree, they're idiots, but teaching them from a young age how to drink responsibly is better than making it something cool to sneak off in the night with friends and drink as much as possible as quickly as possible because they don't know when they will next get to try it, and look cool to their friends.

They're idiots which makes them far more susceptible to attempting to be cool whilst drunk. So strip the mystique and cool factor from drinking and it won't be a problem.

Same for all drugs.
 
2013-11-29 05:10:59 PM
This is Texas Tag material right here.  Take Florida tag x dumbass tag and add a heap of freemarkety/IKnowWhat'sBest and There Ya Go you got's your fine example of a Texas Tage link.
 
2013-11-29 05:11:16 PM
Typical conservatitard whose daddy bought him a Hummer.
 
2013-11-29 05:12:14 PM
TAG ^^

/admittedly, I am tainted with Texas tag myself
 
2013-11-29 05:13:57 PM

Slaxl: iheartscotch: Slaxl: iheartscotch: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: iheartscotch: I'm sure that there will be someone along to say why it's ok for teenagers to be running around with 20 year-olds. Nothing bad could possibly happen in that circumstance....

Cuz if she had been out with another drunk 17-year-old, there's no way that accident would have happened.

Maybe, 17 year olds shouldn't have access to cars OR booze? Can we do that? Is that an equitable situation?

No.

I see, I assume you advocate a more laissez faire approach? I agree that there is some merit in such a notion; such as, a sip of wine at dinner should not be an arrest-able offense.

But, I submit to you that teenagers are idiots; as such, I feel it is perfectly equitable to limit a minor's access to booze.

I agree, they're idiots, but teaching them from a young age how to drink responsibly is better than making it something cool to sneak off in the night with friends and drink as much as possible as quickly as possible because they don't know when they will next get to try it, and look cool to their friends.

They're idiots which makes them far more susceptible to attempting to be cool whilst drunk. So strip the mystique and cool factor from drinking and it won't be a problem.

Same for all drugs.


I agree that teaching teens to drink responsibly is a very good idea.

My dad always said to call him if I was too drunk to drive. Part of it is having a safe environment to discover what your limits are. But, limiting access to booze and narcotics is a legitimate part of the equation as well. For instance, I would hope that no one thinks that it is a good idea to allow a 10 year old to drop acid.

/ I feel that the only magic bullet, in this situation, is unbiased education and responsible limitations.
 
2013-11-29 05:15:48 PM
FTA

"Isn't that weird? I would have never thought that. And it was cold that night, and obviously it could not have been very comfortable in that attic," neighbor Lonnie Moffitt said.

Explain this to Lonnie:

vodka: He had no car and nobody would help him so he carried her inside an empty house/garage where presumably the only "inside" access was the attic which would be warmer than lying on the cold concrete floor of the garage. True, maybe at that point he should have just broken in to the house proper but I'm not sure I see the problem here with these actions.  As for the driving intoxicated or whatever was probably happening, yeah, that is another story.


ThanKnyou.
 
2013-11-29 05:16:02 PM

iheartscotch: I see, I assume you advocate a more laissez faire approach? I agree that there is some merit in such a notion; such as, a sip of wine at dinner should not be an arrest-able offense.

But, I submit to you that teenagers are idiots; as such, I feel it is perfectly equitable to limit a minor's access to booze.


Limit a minor's access to booze? It seems such an easy solution; why has nobody tried this before?
 
2013-11-29 05:23:00 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: iheartscotch: I see, I assume you advocate a more laissez faire approach? I agree that there is some merit in such a notion; such as, a sip of wine at dinner should not be an arrest-able offense.

But, I submit to you that teenagers are idiots; as such, I feel it is perfectly equitable to limit a minor's access to booze.

Limit a minor's access to booze? It seems such an easy solution; why has nobody tried this before?


If you don't watch your ass; I'll limit your access to booze too.

I agree, teens need an unbiased education on the subject of booze. They also need a safe environment in which to test their limits.

I propose that we allow the parents of said children to determine an appropriate course of action concerning the booze question for their children while they are in their own home.
 
2013-11-29 05:23:02 PM
This is just sensationalist writing. It is easy to read between the lines and see that while in shock from a major accident he was unable to find any help, and the warmest place he could find was a garage.  Calling it an 'attic' is just exaggeration by the writer.

Stop getting worked up by bullshiat.
 
2013-11-29 05:28:27 PM
If he was truly trying to help her, why didn't he call 911?  So far, no one has suggested he call for help on one of their cell phones but it does sound like a good idea unless you have some weird idea that hiding her in an attic will somehow make the screwup go away.
 
2013-11-29 05:33:13 PM

Peter von Nostrand: We're talking about a hummer here. If I wrecked her pelvis, I'd be bragging to anyone that would listen


img842.imageshack.us
 
2013-11-29 05:37:02 PM

Begoggle: Typical conservatitard whose daddy bought him a Hummer.


Kid's a friend of a girl I see sometimes--he's not Republican.
 
2013-11-29 05:38:51 PM

phojo1946: If he was truly trying to help her, why didn't he call 911?


FTFA : "Neighbors called police but investigators say Fitzpatrick didn't wait. "

He went knocking on doors until he found someone home.  They called 911.  Then he dumped her in a nearby attic and ran off.  I don't get it, at all, but at that point, he's due for some serious charges.

Also, there was a 20 year old driving a hummer, and a 17 year old girl in the vehicle, and neither had a cell phone?  That seems incredibly unlikely.
 
2013-11-29 05:45:12 PM

JuggleGeek: phojo1946: If he was truly trying to help her, why didn't he call 911?

FTFA : "Neighbors called police but investigators say Fitzpatrick didn't wait. "

He went knocking on doors until he found someone home.  They called 911.  Then he dumped her in a nearby attic and ran off.  I don't get it, at all, but at that point, he's due for some serious charges.

Also, there was a 20 year old driving a hummer, and a 17 year old girl in the vehicle, and neither had a cell phone?  That seems incredibly unlikely.


Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Texas.
Knocking on doors at 2 in morning after an accident.

And nobody got shot???
 
2013-11-29 05:45:43 PM
Personally, I found this a tender, touching story about young love, first love - with a "Texas Style" spin to it.

I bet she marries the guy.

It's the only logical thing that can happen next.

Love is a many splendored thing.
 
2013-11-29 05:47:07 PM
detectives found his Hummer 3 in a ditch

Point, set, match.  I've never met anybody who owned one of those who wasn't a nasty, me first prick.  I'm fine with evidence to the contrary.
 
2013-11-29 05:49:29 PM
How many people have obviously been on Fark too long and read that as "girlfriend's penis"?
 
2013-11-29 05:51:58 PM
If someone has broken bones, the Weeners is to drag them around while you bang on doors. The screaming means you are a hero.
 
2013-11-29 05:53:02 PM
Oh fark.
 
2013-11-29 05:53:17 PM

bunner: detectives found his Hummer 3 in a ditch

Point, set, match.  I've never met anybody who owned one of those who wasn't a nasty, me first prick.  I'm fine with evidence to the contrary.


The idea of a CUCV-based HMMWV "derivative" makes me *snerk* every farking time I see it.
 
2013-11-29 06:00:21 PM
Bad things happening to anyone in a Hummvee = good times for the rest of us.

A Hummer is just a big BMW.
 
2013-11-29 06:05:14 PM

JuggleGeek: phojo1946: If he was truly trying to help her, why didn't he call 911?

FTFA : "Neighbors called police but investigators say Fitzpatrick didn't wait. "

He went knocking on doors until he found someone home.  They called 911.  Then he dumped her in a nearby attic and ran off.  I don't get it, at all, but at that point, he's due for some serious charges.

Also, there was a 20 year old driving a hummer, and a 17 year old girl in the vehicle, and neither had a cell phone?  That seems incredibly unlikely.


Exactly. He decided he didn't want to be involved or help any more than that, and likely ran off because he was drunk.

It's interesting that there's a couple people in the comments claiming to live in the town and know him. All say he's a local scumbag.
 
2013-11-29 06:14:15 PM

Vector R: JuggleGeek: phojo1946: If he was truly trying to help her, why didn't he call 911?

FTFA : "Neighbors called police but investigators say Fitzpatrick didn't wait. "

He went knocking on doors until he found someone home.  They called 911.  Then he dumped her in a nearby attic and ran off.  I don't get it, at all, but at that point, he's due for some serious charges.

Also, there was a 20 year old driving a hummer, and a 17 year old girl in the vehicle, and neither had a cell phone?  That seems incredibly unlikely.

Exactly. He decided he didn't want to be involved or help any more than that, and likely ran off because he was drunk.

It's interesting that there's a couple people in the comments claiming to live in the town and know him. All say he's a local scumbag.


A local scumbag from my hometown rolled his trans am at night in a public park. Apparently it was relevant to his defense that he was a former Eagle Scout.
 
2013-11-29 06:24:23 PM

FrancoFile: Texas.
Knocking on doors at 2 in morning after an accident.

And nobody got shot???


It's not that hard to get by in Texas. You just have to be cooperative, avoid sudden movements, and have a winning complexion.

materdeicatholic.org
 
2013-11-29 06:24:37 PM
If you drive a hummer, you are a dick.
 
2013-11-29 06:42:20 PM

FrancoFile: 17 years old, out at 2am.  And I'm 99% sure that some combination of drugs, alcohol, and weapons was involved too.


Let's wait and see if she learned anything
 
2013-11-29 06:45:22 PM

Boloxor the Insipid: This is just sensationalist writing. It is easy to read between the lines and see that while in shock from a major accident he was unable to find any help, and the warmest place he could find was a garage.  Calling it an 'attic' is just exaggeration by the writer.

Stop getting worked up by bullshiat.


This might be a plausible story in the days before every man dog and child carried a cell phone on them at all times.
 
2013-11-29 06:48:33 PM
I am curious, however, as to what the possible use could be for a scaled down version of a military transport.  They're high off the ground, true.  They have very large tires that I assume run flat.  They seat four, but so does a Honda Accord.  So, essentially, they're either one big huge neon sign that says "LOOK AT MY F*CK YOU MONEY!", something misery dealers buy to hide their income - which is a bit stupid because nothing says "I sling dope" like living at your mama's house with a 70,000.00 car - or they're for people who jerk off to war movies.

Either way, it's sh*t.

I mean, I've owned a lot of cars, most of them beaters, and atm, I drive a minivan with 187,000 miles on it.  No self respecting car thief, if there is such a thing, would go near it for fear of developing post laceration tetanus.  But it also has every possible luxury except for telescoping wheel and a 10 speaker Infinity rig with 2 subs that can move air at 32 Hz fundementals.  It's the jazz for checking mixes on a consumer rig.

I've owned a lot of luxury cars.  I like leaners.  And, I hate to break it to the SUV crowd, but your driving a very cramped station wagon on a pickup truck frame. That's IT.  Fullstop.  It's not a luxury car.  It's just 6" higer off the ground than a DeVille and a lot less roomy.  So, is a Hummer an SUV?  So is it a paramilitary vehicle?  No.  Is it practical for any sort of urban or even paved rural terrains?  No. Does it sip gas?  Let's talk about gallons to the mile.  Is it roomy?  No.  Is it a bothersome crusade to enter or egress?  Quite.  So, as far as I can tell, it's option A. And I hate to piss in all the H3 crowd's petunias, but nobody gives a William nor Nilliam polly wolly doo dah about your f*ck you money.  Honest.
 
2013-11-29 06:51:23 PM

bunner: I am curious, however, as to what the possible use could be for a scaled down version of a military transport.  They're high off the ground, true.  They have very large tires that I assume run flat.  They seat four, but so does a Honda Accord.  So, essentially, they're either one big huge neon sign that says "LOOK AT MY F*CK YOU MONEY!", something misery dealers buy to hide their income - which is a bit stupid because nothing says "I sling dope" like living at your mama's house with a 70,000.00 car - or they're for people who jerk off to war movies.

Either way, it's sh*t.

I mean, I've owned a lot of cars, most of them beaters, and atm, I drive a minivan with 187,000 miles on it.  No self respecting car thief, if there is such a thing, would go near it for fear of developing post laceration tetanus.  But it also has every possible luxury except for telescoping wheel and a 10 speaker Infinity rig with 2 subs that can move air at 32 Hz fundementals.  It's the jazz for checking mixes on a consumer rig.

I've owned a lot of luxury cars.  I like leaners.  And, I hate to break it to the SUV crowd, but your driving a very cramped station wagon on a pickup truck frame. That's IT.  Fullstop.  It's not a luxury car.  It's just 6" higer off the ground than a DeVille and a lot less roomy.  So, is a Hummer an SUV?  So is it a paramilitary vehicle?  No.  Is it practical for any sort of urban or even paved rural terrains?  No. Does it sip gas?  Let's talk about gallons to the mile.  Is it roomy?  No.  Is it a bothersome crusade to enter or egress?  Quite.  So, as far as I can tell, it's option A. And I hate to piss in all the H3 crowd's petunias, but nobody gives a William nor Nilliam polly wolly doo dah about your f*ck you money.  Honest.


Bunner, it's an even less aerodynamic, overpriced Chevy Trailblazer. An H3 has absolutely nothing to do with a HMMWV. Nothing.
 
2013-11-29 06:55:00 PM

demaL-demaL-yeH: Bunner, it's an even less aerodynamic, overpriced Chevy Trailblazer. An H3 has absolutely nothing to do with a HMMWV. Nothing.

images4.wikia.nocookie.net


Suspicions confirmed.
 
2013-11-29 06:56:42 PM
I misread that as hammer, and was confused. Subby should be shot for not capitalising a noun.
 
2013-11-29 07:11:09 PM

agent00pi: I misread that as hammer, and was confused. Subby should be shot for not capitalising a noun.


Marketroids should be lined up against the wall for naming a civilian product line based on the military Humvee after a blowjob, thereby giving a bad name to blowjobs everywhere.
 
2013-11-29 07:15:32 PM

demaL-demaL-yeH: agent00pi: I misread that as hammer, and was confused. Subby should be shot for not capitalising a noun.

Marketroids should be lined up against the wall for naming a civilian product line based on the military Humvee after a blowjob, thereby giving a bad name to blowjobs everywhere.


I think blowjobs are sufficiently popular to overcome the stigma of association. I don't think I've ever been distracted during a blowjob by thinking, "gee, this was so much better before it reminded me of those stupid trucks".
 
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