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(Anchorage Daily News)   Welcome to Amerika 2013 where setting a toilet paper holder on fire in the bathroom of your high school will get you branded as a terrorist   (adn.com) divider line 93
    More: Asinine, West High, holders, high schools, terrorist threats, bathrooms, thermal imaging camera  
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3141 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2013 at 9:28 AM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-28 09:19:09 AM
You know what gets me "branded as a terrorist"? Blowing up my local high school, ululating skyward, screaming Allahu akbar!, and machine gunning the local synangogue.

...


But I guess that goes without saying.

/totally joking for all the creepy feds out there
 
2013-11-28 09:19:46 AM
synagogue, damn it.
 
2013-11-28 09:32:27 AM
FTFA: A person can receive a terroristic threatening charge if he or she causes the evacuation of a building, according to Alaska law.

So, basically, if I fart in the office I can be charged as a terrorist.

Good to know.
 
2013-11-28 09:33:03 AM
The Terrorists have won.
 
2013-11-28 09:34:21 AM
But pyromania is an American right!
/I'm guessing this kid will end up joining Randal Flagg's army in Las Vegas.
 
2013-11-28 09:36:25 AM
good.

What is acceptable about being such a douchewitz, anyway?
 
2013-11-28 09:36:51 AM

Richard C Stanford: But pyromania is an American right!
/I'm guessing this kid will end up joining Randal Flagg's army in Las Vegas.


Naw, Pyromania is decidedly British:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-11-28 09:36:52 AM
Isn't being branded sufficient punishment on its own?
 
2013-11-28 09:37:21 AM

Molavian: FTFA: A person can receive a terroristic threatening charge if he or she causes the evacuation of a building, according to Alaska law.

So, basically, if I fart in the office I can be charged as a terrorist.

Good to know.


But it's only a state law.  What's Alaska's version of Guantanamo Bay?
 
2013-11-28 09:39:31 AM

wxboy: Molavian: FTFA: A person can receive a terroristic threatening charge if he or she causes the evacuation of a building, according to Alaska law.

So, basically, if I fart in the office I can be charged as a terrorist.

Good to know.

But it's only a state law.  What's Alaska's version of Guantanamo Bay?


Uh...Alaska?
 
2013-11-28 09:39:41 AM
Labeling the kid a terrorist seems a little extreme...

/But I can't say I have a lot of sympathy for him either.
 
2013-11-28 09:41:05 AM
"Schools aren't built to burn," Richardson said.

Well there's your problem.
 
2013-11-28 09:41:43 AM
What if I give a kid a swirlie in the bathroom?

Or smoke a doobie?
 
2013-11-28 09:44:00 AM
My only concern is that the term 'terrorist' is being so widely, that it has become non-alarming, just like the words 'rapist' and 'sex offender'.
We need to come up with a fresh word to get the populace properly riled up in fear.
We need a word that has not yet lost it's energy by being repeated by talking heads.

But what word could we possibly look towards in these un-gasping times to cover that which is beyond acceptance to the 99,5 % of us?
 
2013-11-28 09:45:36 AM
Yes indeed.  The things my generation did as pranks are now felonies.  Good times.
 
2013-11-28 09:49:13 AM

Richard C Stanford: I'm guessing this kid will end up joining Randal Flagg's army in Las Vegas.


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

/i get the reference but still...
 
2013-11-28 09:53:04 AM
There's these guys wandering around my neighborhood in matching cars with matching clothes and they're armed and they pull people over and steal stuff out of their cars and demand money and I'm pretty sure they're hopped up on something.  Should I report them to DHS or TSA?
 
2013-11-28 09:53:23 AM
I've seen that spelling of Amerika a lot lately. Is this some sort of movement to differentiate the current times from the America many of us were promised?

If so, I want my flying kar.
 
2013-11-28 09:53:52 AM
Terroristic threats have nothing, inherently, to do with terrorism or terroists and the charge has been around for quite some time now specifically for stupidity like this. Evacuating a building by setting part of it on fire is not some fun, harmless "prank".

But don't let reality slow your derp train.
 
2013-11-28 09:54:13 AM

Hector Remarkable: "Schools aren't built to burn," Richardson said.

Well there's your problem.


They're built to burn the student's hopes and dreams, not itself.
 
2013-11-28 09:55:19 AM
stupid kid.  You wouldn't have these idiotic AmeriKa headlines if you didn't have AmeriDuhs doing stupid shiat like that.
 
Xai
2013-11-28 09:56:26 AM
In the middle ages they were Witches,
In the mid 19th century they were Communists,
Now we have Terrorists.

Nothing keeps the people obedient like fear. Enjoy your witch hunt, americans.
 
2013-11-28 09:56:28 AM
First, he's setting toilet paper on fire. The next thing you know, he's piloting asteroids into the Yucatan.

/What do you mean, that's a slippery slope? Alaska is nothing but slippery slopes. And polar bears, of course.
 
2013-11-28 09:57:16 AM
What isn't called terrorism nowadays?
 
2013-11-28 09:58:08 AM

runwiz: Yes indeed.  The things my generation did as pranks are now felonies.  Good times.


I'm 43 years old and I've never lived in a world where arson wasn't normally prosecuted as a felony.
 
2013-11-28 09:58:50 AM

Mugato: What isn't called terrorism nowadays?


Breathing.
 
2013-11-28 10:00:15 AM
militarka.com

If we say yo are, terrorist, then you are terrorist, komrade!

We didn't win the cold war.

We traded them edible food, clothes and shoes that fit and Big Macs for their playbook.

For Freedom.
 
2013-11-28 10:00:48 AM

olapbill: stupid kid.  You wouldn't have these idiotic AmeriKa headlines if you didn't have AmeriDuhs doing stupid shiat like that.


Awesome! You were never a kid? That's fascinating! Were hatched?! Budded? I need to know!
 
2013-11-28 10:01:44 AM

skozlaw: runwiz: Yes indeed.  The things my generation did as pranks are now felonies.  Good times.

I'm 43 years old and I've never lived in a world where arson wasn't normally prosecuted as a felony.


Arson in a public building gets taken seriously.
 
2013-11-28 10:01:50 AM
*were YOU hatched

Sorry. I'm from AmeriDuh.
 
2013-11-28 10:02:48 AM
Kids, within reason, often do stupid sh*t.

Once upon a time, this got your ass beat rosy by the old man and usually, led to the kid thinking twice about doing stupid sh*t.

Now that's called terrorism, assault, child endangerment, and everybody goes into the maw of the injustice system.

Kaching.  This joint is so over.
 
2013-11-28 10:03:03 AM

Kit Fister: The Terrorists have won.


i2.listal.com
It was a tie!
 
2013-11-28 10:03:53 AM

The Evil Home Brewer: Labeling the kid a terrorist seems a little extreme...

/But I can't say I have a lot of sympathy for him either.


He's 15 and started a fire in a school bathroom.
He's literally Hitler, who cares what happens to him?

Some basic punishment for youthful asshattery vs being labeled as a terrorist and having your entire future ruined before it started? Tomato tomahto

But ultimately I couldn't care less. No sympathy at all for the kid. Apathy is good for us.

We should probably give as little a shiat about what happens to each other as possible. It's basically a recipe for liberty and freedom.
 
2013-11-28 10:04:04 AM
Maybe he did it because of the Thanksgiving menu in Alaska. lol
 
2013-11-28 10:05:32 AM

MurphyMurphy: He's literally Hitler, who cares what happens to him?


*snort*
 
2013-11-28 10:05:43 AM

Tchernobog: wxboy: Molavian: FTFA: A person can receive a terroristic threatening charge if he or she causes the evacuation of a building, according to Alaska law.

So, basically, if I fart in the office I can be charged as a terrorist.

Good to know.

But it's only a state law.  What's Alaska's version of Guantanamo Bay?

Uh...Alaska?


Accurate.
 
2013-11-28 10:07:19 AM

Public Savant: My only concern is that the term 'terrorist' is being so widely, that it has become non-alarming, just like the words 'rapist' and 'sex offender'.
We need to come up with a fresh word to get the populace properly riled up in fear.
We need a word that has not yet lost it's energy by being repeated by talking heads.

But what word could we possibly look towards in these un-gasping times to cover that which is beyond acceptance to the 99,5 % of us?


'Congressman'
 
2013-11-28 10:10:02 AM

toraque: Public Savant: My only concern is that the term 'terrorist' is being so widely, that it has become non-alarming, just like the words 'rapist' and 'sex offender'.
We need to come up with a fresh word to get the populace properly riled up in fear.
We need a word that has not yet lost it's energy by being repeated by talking heads.

But what word could we possibly look towards in these un-gasping times to cover that which is beyond acceptance to the 99,5 % of us?

'Congressman'


'Congressman' is America's latest superhero. "Larry Lawyer was bitten by a radioactive lobbyist to become...CONGRESSMAN!"
 
2013-11-28 10:10:29 AM

skozlaw: Terroristic threats have nothing, inherently, to do with terrorism or terroists and the charge has been around for quite some time now specifically for stupidity like this. Evacuating a building by setting part of it on fire is not some fun, harmless "prank".

But don't let reality slow your derp train.


Nobody is saying this is a harmless prank. I think we can all agree it was a stupid thing to do, and he should be punished for it.

What we are saying is calling him a terrorist is a bit overboard. He's a teenager. Teenagers do stupid shiat. This is a fact of life.
 
2013-11-28 10:12:28 AM
So, by that logic....pulling a fire alarm as a joke can get you charged as a terrorist? Seriously? I hope the judge in this case has some common sense. Yes, the boy should be punished, as arson is a felony, but terrorism? Not so much.
 
2013-11-28 10:14:23 AM

megarian: olapbill: stupid kid.  You wouldn't have these idiotic AmeriKa headlines if you didn't have AmeriDuhs doing stupid shiat like that.

Awesome! You were never a kid? That's fascinating! Were hatched?! Budded? I need to know!


Hey love happy Thanksgiving
 
2013-11-28 10:14:28 AM
America, where kids playing with fire in school is considered terrorism and teachers having sex with their students is a badge of honor rewarded with paid vacations (aka leave of absence) at home. USA USA USA
 
2013-11-28 10:22:08 AM

megarian: olapbill: stupid kid.  You wouldn't have these idiotic AmeriKa headlines if you didn't have AmeriDuhs doing stupid shiat like that.

Awesome! You were never a kid? That's fascinating! Were hatched?! Budded? I need to know!


really? I  had what would be considered a checkered youth. Setting a school bathroom on fire wasn't high on my shiat disturbing list.  Probably because its farking stupid.
 
2013-11-28 10:22:35 AM

runwiz: Yes indeed.  The things my generation did as pranks are now felonies.  Good times.


This wasn't a prank when I was a kid, this would've been a kid trying to hide a cigarette when a teacher walked in.  Happened in the girls bathroom, and the kids tried to get a point across about the designated smoking area being taken away.  It didn't work, the federal government won.

We had a student designated smoking area until the feds found out and got really pissed.  The school had to get rid of it if they wanted to continued being a federal supported hs.
 
2013-11-28 10:27:07 AM
A person can receive a terroristic threatening charge if he or she causes the evacuation of a building, according to Alaska law.

There are lot's of ways you could cause a building evacuation totally accidentally. Not sure if they covered that, prolly not.
 
2013-11-28 10:28:34 AM

Tchernobog: wxboy: Molavian: FTFA: A person can receive a terroristic threatening charge if he or she causes the evacuation of a building, according to Alaska law.

So, basically, if I fart in the office I can be charged as a terrorist.

Good to know.

But it's only a state law.  What's Alaska's version of Guantanamo Bay?

Uh...Alaska?


True. Sending him to Gitmo would just encourage copycats. "Wait... I start a fire, and I get to go to a tropical island? Sign me up!"
 
2013-11-28 10:29:24 AM
berylma:There are lot's of ways...
Most extraneous apostrophe ever... what's wrong with me? Time to start previewing sucka!
 
2013-11-28 10:29:53 AM

skozlaw: Terroristic threats have nothing, inherently, to do with terrorism or terroists and the charge has been around for quite some time now specifically for stupidity like this. Evacuating a building by setting part of it on fire is not some fun, harmless "prank".

But don't let reality slow your derp train.


No, but it's not farking terrorism, either.

You know good and damn well that those kinds of shenanigans wouldn't have gotten you terrorism charges at that age.

It seems to me that, after a certain age, some people forget what it's like to be young.
 
2013-11-28 10:32:47 AM
 Remember when the people pushing this hysteria insisted that laws regarding terrorism would only be used to go after actual terrorist? good times, good times.

That's what happens when you let people use catch all buzzwords to write real world legislation.
 
2013-11-28 10:36:42 AM

grumpfuff: skozlaw: Terroristic threats have nothing, inherently, to do with terrorism or terroists and the charge has been around for quite some time now specifically for stupidity like this. Evacuating a building by setting part of it on fire is not some fun, harmless "prank".

But don't let reality slow your derp train.

Nobody is saying this is a harmless prank. I think we can all agree it was a stupid thing to do, and he should be punished for it.

What we are saying is calling him a terrorist is a bit overboard. He's a teenager. Teenagers do stupid shiat. This is a fact of life.



Pretty much. If 'stupid things perpetrated by teenagers' is now considered terrorism, then the word has lost all meaning.

I feel bad for the kid; not because he was dumb enough to set a fire at school, but because of inflated charges that will haunt him for the rest of his life.

And as much as I hate to quote her, this is spot on:

"The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws." -- Ayn Rand
 
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