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(Guardian)   "Notably, the Hobby Lobby used to have an employee insurance plan that covered the very same birth control methods it now claims violate its religious freedom" Popcorn, anyone?   (theguardian.com) divider line 29
    More: Dumbass, birth control methods, religious freedom, idea, Christian Scientists, religious values, amicus brief, contraceptives, health insurance  
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3605 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Nov 2013 at 8:18 AM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-11-28 09:30:50 AM
15 votes:
Only through bankruptcy can a corporation be saved and be born again.
2013-11-28 09:52:02 AM
5 votes:
Furthermore....

Is the government forcing its will on Hobby Lobby legitimate corporate rape? Actual corporate rape? Doesn't Hobby Lobby have a way of shutting that down?
2013-11-28 03:29:57 AM
5 votes:
Can I marry Walmart, divorce Walmart, and make Walmart pay me alimony?
NFA [TotalFark]
2013-11-28 12:47:59 AM
5 votes:
My homeowners policy covers personal watercraft up to 50 feet long.  I don't live near the water and don't own a boat. (TRUE)


farm3.staticflickr.com
2013-11-28 08:43:25 AM
4 votes:

Antifun: Relatively Obscure: Can I marry Walmart, divorce Walmart, and make Walmart pay me alimony?


maybe, but you'll have to consummate the marriage before teh divorce


Plenty of folks are f*cked by Walmart.
2013-11-28 08:26:45 AM
4 votes:

rev. dave: Michaels has basically he same stuff, fewer crosses and fewer self-righteous hypocrites.


What is it about born-agains and scrapbooking?
2013-11-28 08:21:53 AM
4 votes:

Relatively Obscure: Can I marry Walmart, divorce Walmart, and make Walmart pay me alimony?



maybe, but you'll have to consummate the marriage before teh divorce
2013-11-28 03:11:37 AM
4 votes:
If corporations are people, wouldn't owning a corporation be slavery?
2013-11-28 01:51:46 AM
4 votes:
If a corporation can have a religion, can a corporation start a religion (besides Apple)?  Or could I get married by Comcast and absolved of my transgressions by, I dunno, Church & Dwight (the cleaning products folks) or whatever? Kaboom!  And the sin is gone!
2013-11-28 09:47:16 AM
3 votes:

PanicMan: Also, if you're going to claim this violates your religion, show the the passage in the bible that states: "thou shalt not give money to a third party, to be put in a fund, that may or may not be used to provide for the cost of hormone control, that has the side effect of preventing pregnancy, as a form of deferred payment to your employees."


I wonder if the court could hand down a ruling along the lines of:
"As the corporation, nor its stakeholders, are required by the law to take contraceptives themselves, then law has not violated the freedom of religion of the corporation or stakeholders. Therefore, being required to provide coverage for contraceptives, and not the contraceptives themselves, to an employee of said corporation, the religious rights of the corporation have not been found to be violated."

Or, are hiring candidates considered corporate fetuses? Are they born if they are hired? If they aren't hired, were those candidates aborted? If the corporation isn't actively hiring anyone once a month, are they considered to be on birth control?
2013-11-28 09:40:15 AM
3 votes:

RubberBandMan: Only through bankruptcy can a corporation be saved and be born again.


Socialize the sin, and privatize the redemption?
2013-11-28 03:57:09 PM
2 votes:
I believe the ghosts of magical space mice cause disease. Therefore, the only treatment I will cover a fumigation seance by an exorcist with a trained ghost cat.
2013-11-28 11:01:41 AM
2 votes:
I like Hobby Lobby. More unwanted babies with desperate, underpaid mothers = more readily available ultra fresh Satanic sacrifice fuel. Plus they have cheap wood circles that are just the right size for pentagram inscription for said sacrificial rites.
2013-11-28 09:37:57 AM
2 votes:
As an ordained minister of the Church of Life, I am now offering marriages to any company you want. Feel like being an oil tycoon? Shack up with Exxon-Mobil.
2013-11-28 09:22:48 AM
2 votes:
If businesses get religious rights, my LLC is declaring itself Rastafarian (for um ... tax reasons).
2013-11-28 08:45:38 AM
2 votes:

NFA: My homeowners policy covers personal watercraft up to 50 feet long. I don't live near the water and don't own a boat. (TRUE)


My homeowners policy expressly does NOT cover any damage caused by a hovercraft.


"Certain Underwriters" at Lloyd's of London are such jerks!
2013-11-28 07:35:25 PM
1 votes:
My name is Robbie Stobby, and I'm here to lobby for hobbies.

o.onionstatic.com
2013-11-28 12:59:34 PM
1 votes:
Okay, I'm wondering this....

I'm a reform Jew, so that doesn't give me much opportunity to limit what employees do---we're pretty much okay with you getting an abortion on the way to gay wedding where bacon cheeseburgers will be served.

But if I have a company, does the company have to be Jewish? Why can't my company be Catholic? Then I don't have to provide insurance that includes birth control and abortion services that my faith would have no objection to providing employees, but that offends the hell out of my good Catholic company. Why can't my company be a Scientologist?
2013-11-28 12:06:15 PM
1 votes:

Pasnute: If you were to marry (or be farked or fark) a company, would it have to be 18?
Or would the laws of it's home state apply?

Could you go to jail if you get farked by a young company?
What if someone videos you getting farked by a company?


What if it's just the tip?
2013-11-28 11:11:12 AM
1 votes:

The Madd Mann: A company owned entirely by Christians has religious beliefs the same way a company owned entirely by African Americans is somehow black. That is to say, not at all.


Magic Johnson's Starbucks franchises sell coffee like *this*
2013-11-28 10:48:07 AM
1 votes:
RubberBandMan: "Only through bankruptcy can a corporation be saved and be born again."

King Barilla version, Chapters 7 and 11
2013-11-28 10:16:53 AM
1 votes:
images.popmatters.com
2013-11-28 10:15:31 AM
1 votes:
As if we didn't already have enough proof that Obama lied when he said "If you like your plan, you can keep your plan."
2013-11-28 09:12:11 AM
1 votes:
Its all a matter of time until a business owner who is a Christian Scientist refuses to provide insurance that covers medicine.
2013-11-28 09:02:44 AM
1 votes:
Great opportunity to finally divorce health insurance from employment.

Also, paying for the Hallmark channel as part of my cable subscription is a violation of my freedom of religion. Unbundle already!
2013-11-28 08:22:15 AM
1 votes:

Relatively Obscure: If a corporation can have a religion, can a corporation start a religion (besides Apple)?  Or could I get married by Comcast and absolved of my transgressions by, I dunno, Church & Dwight (the cleaning products folks) or whatever? Kaboom!  And the sin is gone!


I'll jump aboard the corporate personhood bandwagon just as soon as Texas executes one of them.
2013-11-28 01:17:41 AM
1 votes:
Obviously, the company had a religious epiphany, in which it was saved by Jesus. Now, it is redeemed and realizes it cannot offer such plans, as it would be a sin, and then the company might spend eternity in hell after it's dissolved.
2013-11-28 12:41:55 AM
1 votes:
How dare you question their righteous indignation at being forced to do something by that... person
2013-11-28 12:23:04 AM
1 votes:
... I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning.
 
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