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(Orlando Sentinel)   The majority of Americans believe women should have their first child by 25, regardless of whether or not they are financially prepared, married, or even want children   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 162
    More: PSA, Americans, birth order, American Society for Reproductive Medicine, National Center for Health Statistics  
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3293 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2013 at 10:17 AM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-27 10:19:19 AM
Ahhh...  Another angry "breeders" thread.  Fight!
 
2013-11-27 10:19:50 AM
well. . .the more over 30 you are, the higher the chance of autism and other congenital problems.
 
2013-11-27 10:20:59 AM

DarnoKonrad: well. . .the more over 30 you are, the higher the chance of autism and other congenital problems.


Must be all the vaccines that build up in your body over those years...
 
2013-11-27 10:21:00 AM
Well, I'm glad I had mine young.

The ovaries are fresh, and your body is at its prime.

My babies don't remember being poor at 2, but they do remember at 14.

When they are teens, I'm still young enough to enjoy my return to freedom.

I'll be young enough to really enjoy my grandkids, and most likely, great-grandkids.
 
2013-11-27 10:21:52 AM
My wife was 32.  If she'd had a baby at 25 she wouldn't be in the career she's in, we would have been less financially able to handle the critter and day care and we probably wouldn't have had our second.

So sod off, popular opinion.
 
2013-11-27 10:22:20 AM
Just trust the Lord on this one.

I watched "Idiocracy" last night. Huh. Why am I reminded of that?
 
2013-11-27 10:22:32 AM

DarnoKonrad: well. . .the more over 30 you are, the higher the chance of autism and other congenital problems.


I have a 3 yr old and a 4yr old. I feel like one of the young'ins that had kids and I'm only 31 now. Seems like most of the parents around me are having their first kid in their mid 30's.
 
2013-11-27 10:22:41 AM
That's because the majority of Americans are gun toting bible thumping knuckle dragging mouth-breathing morons that think a woman has her places, and those places are on her knees, in the kitchen, and in the birthing bed.
 
2013-11-27 10:23:26 AM

Cymbal: That's because the majority of Americans are gun toting bible thumping knuckle dragging mouth-breathing morons that think a woman has her places, and those places are on her knees, in the kitchen, and in the birthing bed.


You forgot the street corner. Oh yes.
 
2013-11-27 10:24:02 AM
You don't HAVE to do anything- just enjoy life- kids or no kids.
 
2013-11-27 10:24:13 AM
Keep 'em barefoot, too.
 
2013-11-27 10:24:18 AM
Well, the majority of people are generally idiots, so it's best to take what they have to say with a grain of salt.
 
2013-11-27 10:24:53 AM
Unless you're stone, dirt "trust my ten year-old alone with a stranger in Walmart" poor, poor won't matter to the kids when they're little  What happens when you buy a little kid a big present?  Within ten minutes they're playing with the box it came in.
 
2013-11-27 10:25:30 AM
Well yeah, if they get careers and confidence and shiat who will make our sandwiches?
 
2013-11-27 10:25:50 AM
Stop making babies, people.
We are not an endangered specie.
 
2013-11-27 10:25:54 AM
1.  If this was an opinion survey, they need to stop asking grandparents.

2.  Seems to me that way back in the 80s there was a study that concluded that  having your first child before the age of 20 helped to significantly reduce the chances of breast cancer.  I remember the nature of the study, not the origin, because of how often I and my acquaintances tried to use it as an excuse to help young girls avoid cancer.  Looking at the breast cancer rates, it was obviously not enough.
 
2013-11-27 10:26:34 AM
On the one hand yeah, your prime child-bearing years are late teens to late twenties and you're more likely to be financially and emotionally secure in the twenties. On the other hand I doubt that's the reasoning most people are using in this survey.
 
2013-11-27 10:27:00 AM

missmez: Unless you're stone, dirt "trust my ten year-old alone with a stranger in Walmart" poor, poor won't matter to the kids when they're little  What happens when you buy a little kid a big present?  Within ten minutes they're playing with the box it came in.


Well, that magically makes up for the lack of proper medical or dental care then.
 
2013-11-27 10:27:13 AM
"...or even want children"

I know there are some who disagree and I respect their point of view but I believe that life begins at conception. The only exception I have to have an abortion is in that case of the life of the mother. I just struggled with it myself for a long time but I came to realize: Life is that gift from God that I think even if life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.
 
2013-11-27 10:28:11 AM
My mum was 31 when she had me, and I'm the oldest.  Mum's also the oldest of her siblings, and Grandma was 38 when mum was born.  If my family spawned at 25, I'd have been born in 1960 and my first grandkid would be 3.

Instead, I grew up with financially stable parents with established careers who could give me a springboard into higher education.  Piss off, yanks.
 
2013-11-27 10:28:54 AM
Gallup recently polled 5,100 people and found that 58% said women should start having children in their early 20s or late teens.

Did they interview the deep South?
 
2013-11-27 10:29:05 AM

kidgenius: DarnoKonrad: well. . .the more over 30 you are, the higher the chance of autism and other congenital problems.

I have a 3 yr old and a 4yr old. I feel like one of the young'ins that had kids and I'm only 31 now. Seems like most of the parents around me are having their first kid in their mid 30's.


I'm 35, my girlfriend just turned 30.  So I was like "now or never."  So lil Darno is showing up sometime in June.
 
2013-11-27 10:29:25 AM
If you are 25, have a career, and want to have some babbies, go ahead.  If you are like most twenty somethings who still have no clue, it's probably best to wait.  Now, if society crumbles and we lose modern medicine, we'll have to go back to shiatting out as many babbies as early as possible, because mortality for both mothers and babbies will skyrocket.

And furthermore
 
2013-11-27 10:29:38 AM

vudukungfu: Stop making babies, people.
We are not an endangered specie.


But...but...what if we stop and the coloreds don't stop?
 
2013-11-27 10:30:00 AM
When should a woman have children? Well, unless I'm the woman in question, the correct answer is that it's none of my damn business.
 
2013-11-27 10:30:08 AM
The majority of Americans supported invading Iraq. Let's not make major decisions based upon what the majority of Americans support.
 
2013-11-27 10:30:13 AM

ausfahrk: But...but...what if we stop and the coloreds don't stop?


Lost that "race"
Just stop everyone.
 
2013-11-27 10:30:52 AM
Since this is Fark, I'm sure no one is interested in the actual survey:     http://www.gallup.com/poll/165770/americans-ideal-age-women-first-chi l d.aspx
 
2013-11-27 10:31:03 AM
Ask the Japanese how they like their Christmas cakes
 
rpm
2013-11-27 10:31:07 AM

phrawgh: I know there are some who disagree and I respect their point of view but I believe that life begins at conception. The only exception I have to have an abortion is in that case of the life of the mother. I just struggled with it myself for a long time but I came to realize: Life is that gift from God that I think even if life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen


So you're saying a doctor is stronger than God? if it was meant to happen from an omnipotent being, then the abortion would fail. He's strong enough to give a baby without sex, but not strong enough to stop a woman from going to the doctor? What a wuss.
 
2013-11-27 10:31:20 AM

phrawgh: "...or even want children"

I know there are some who disagree and I respect their point of view but I believe that life begins at conception. The only exception I have to have an abortion is in that case of the life of the mother. I just struggled with it myself for a long time but I came to realize: Life is that gift from God that I think even if life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.


5/10

Might get some bites from folks who haven't had their coffee yet.
 
2013-11-27 10:31:23 AM
On my last week of being 25.  Been married almost 4 years and have no desire to have children at this point.  Guess I'm doing it wrong.  To be fair, surveying most of the people I know on facebook around my age don't have kids either, even if they're married.  Are the "majority" of Americans babby boomers and elderly who still think 20-somethings can easily afford a house big enough for kids and that mothers can easily quit or cut back their jobs when the baby's born?  I'm betting yes.  But we could easily afford to have a child yet still have no desire to do so for various reasons other than cash money.
 
2013-11-27 10:32:14 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: You forgot the street corner. Oh yes.


And mother/daughter tag teams at 45/20
 
2013-11-27 10:34:24 AM
I think the problem is that surveys like this are only answered by people who don't work and have nothing better to do with their time. Aka stay at home moms and retired people.
 
2013-11-27 10:34:25 AM

DarnoKonrad: kidgenius: DarnoKonrad: well. . .the more over 30 you are, the higher the chance of autism and other congenital problems.

I have a 3 yr old and a 4yr old. I feel like one of the young'ins that had kids and I'm only 31 now. Seems like most of the parents around me are having their first kid in their mid 30's.

I'm 35, my girlfriend just turned 30.  So I was like "now or never."  So lil Darno is showing up sometime in June.


Congrats! It will be fun to Darno Jr's Boobies on Fark in a few years
 
2013-11-27 10:34:37 AM

missmez: Unless you're stone, dirt "trust my ten year-old alone with a stranger in Walmart" poor, poor won't matter to the kids when they're little  What happens when you buy a little kid a big present?  Within ten minutes they're playing with the box it came in.


Having kids makes it more difficult to go from poor to not poor.
 
2013-11-27 10:35:27 AM

TheShavingofOccam123: Cymbal: That's because the majority of Americans are gun toting bible thumping knuckle dragging mouth-breathing morons that think a woman has her places, and those places are on her knees, in the kitchen, and in the birthing bed.

You forgot the street corner. Oh yes.


Sen. Vitter, is that you?
 
2013-11-27 10:39:12 AM
Yay! Trollthread! I hereby declare the most offensive thing you can think of about women and children.
 
2013-11-27 10:39:30 AM
Waited to have my two kids until I was able to do the following:

- completed advanced degree (Ph.D.)
- found permanent work with good benefits
- bought a house and a cottage

and most importantly

- had children with the man I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I wanted to grow old with rather than with somebody who I'd be divorced and fighting over the kids with in a few years.

Yeah, I'm a little older. But I'm much wiser, happier and more stable than I was in my 20s. I have younger friends who roughhouse with my munchkins and run around with them. I can give them different experiences that they benefit from just as much. Do I sometimes wish I'd had them younger? Sure. But I know things would be very different for me and for my children if that had been the case. In the end, there is no "right" answer to when to have kids. You do it when you're ready and you take your chances.
 
2013-11-27 10:40:06 AM
Those very same Americans favor cutting off welfare, food stamps, and WIC, because "those mothers shouldn't have had kids if they couldn't afford them."
 
2013-11-27 10:41:40 AM
Well, I don't know about that. I expect somebody is misreading public opinion.

It's best not to have a child when you are too young and it is certainly a bad idea to have one if you aren't prepared financially, mentally, emotionally, etc.

Older mothers are more successful mothers. This is true of humans as of our cousins in the animal kingdom.

Leaving child-bearing too late is also a bad idea as the chances of problems begins to increase rapidly after 35 or 40.

The mid-Twenties is definitely a sweet spot. A woman can get a degree and then have her first child. She can then ease back into the educational or work stream as the child grows and can be left with sitters or the grandmothers, aunts, etc.

This is not an issue about which anyone should be dogmatic. There are many ways to balance the various requirements of a happy life and child rearing and most of them work out fairly well most of the time. Mistakes can be very educational. Perfection teaches little or nothing.

One of the great problems with training and teaching is the failure to teach how to fail. It's one thing to be shown how to do the job right. It's quite another to be shown all the ways you can go wrong.

Imagine you are working at a stressful job and you have just been shown how to use the invoice software.

You do everything right for a little while and then you forget a keystroke somewhere. Suddenly you are in a new screen with no exit strategy. There are thousands of similar situation, but possibly only one right way to process an invoice. Lots of luck when the person whose job you are doing disappears gleefully, leaving you to float or sink.

Scott Adams new book on his many great failures emphasizes a point that is largely missing from self-help and training literature, namely that it is better to have a system than a goal. It is also better to be resilient rather than mostly correct or competent. In other words, it is vital to know how to take a fall or a punch, not so vital know how to punch. Great punchers end up brain dead. Great dodgers win championships.

Let women make their own decisions regarding children. They are, if not the experts, at least the people who have to look after the children for the next umpteen years, and then their grandchildren.

Soon women will have to be taking care of great- and possibly great- great grandchilden.

The result was visible at my niece's wedding: there was a table for the grand parents. It seated his grandparents, her grandparents, his great-grandparents, her great-grandparents, and also a great-great grandparent who had to leave early because at that age you can't take the noise let alone the excitement.

The grandparents and great-grandparents paid for the wedding cake and some other frills of the wedding, while the parents paid for much of the wedding costs as traditional.

Imagine a wedding a century from now: the couple may have so many ancestors that they get their own section. There might be new family relationships that we can't even imagine now.

I think it is wise to aim for optimal timing, but life is more diverse and complicated than conservatives are willing or able to comprehend.

Women should only have a child regardless of their marital and personal circumstances IF GOD IS THE FATHER.

It worked that one time, apparently. Poor girl. She could have ended up a social pariah if Joseph hadn't been a decent man and willing to swallow his pride and his honour alike.
 
2013-11-27 10:41:55 AM

monoski: DarnoKonrad: kidgenius: DarnoKonrad: well. . .the more over 30 you are, the higher the chance of autism and other congenital problems.

I have a 3 yr old and a 4yr old. I feel like one of the young'ins that had kids and I'm only 31 now. Seems like most of the parents around me are having their first kid in their mid 30's.

I'm 35, my girlfriend just turned 30.  So I was like "now or never."  So lil Darno is showing up sometime in June.

Congrats! It will be fun to Darno Jr's Boobies on Fark in a few years


The fark filter really worked out great on that one.  I hope that was the fark filter.
 
2013-11-27 10:42:18 AM

missmez: Unless you're stone, dirt "trust my ten year-old alone with a stranger in Walmart" poor, poor won't matter to the kids when they're little  What happens when you buy a little kid a big present?  Within ten minutes they're playing with the box it came in.


What's your point? That being poor with kids is fine because they won't know the difference and will grow up to be millionaire entrepreneurs because they know what it's like to struggle and not have all those advantages handed to them? Because that's such a crock of shiat.
 
2013-11-27 10:42:51 AM
Majority of Americans think women should have their first child before 25. Average age of American women at the time of the birth of their first child is just below 25. I wonder if that has any relationship to the attitudes people have?

http://www.oecd.org/social/family/SF2.3%20Mean%20age%20of%20mother%2 0a t%20first%20childbirth%20-%20updated%20240212.pdf
 
2013-11-27 10:45:09 AM
If everyone waited to have kids until they were financially viable, no one would have kids. Boomers had us, then didn't save for retirement, now won't get the hell out of the way and we can't get jobs. Anyone who's looking down the line will realize this is going to continue happening.

I've already come to peace that my kids will be living under my roof with their spouses getting pregnant and having grandchildren and have been making plans accordingly.

/the multiple generation home is back.
 
2013-11-27 10:46:12 AM
fark that noise! I am enjoying bucking that trend, thank you very much. Subby is right about the "financially prepared" part. Why bring a child into the world when I don't even have a savings account right now and I have a shiat-ton of student loans to deal with, lol!

/no biological kids, just a stepdaughter who is in Brazil
//got married when I was 30
 
2013-11-27 10:46:24 AM

tricycleracer: Gallup recently polled 5,100 people and found that 58% said women should start having children in their early 20s or late teens.

Did they interview the deep South?


Probably. The deep South is used to most women having their first kid in their mid-teens, so late teens would be a big improvement.
 
2013-11-27 10:47:00 AM

usernameguy: Those very same Americans favor cutting off welfare, food stamps, and WIC, because "those mothers shouldn't have had kids if they couldn't afford them."


God will provide, right?

/only capitalized the "g" since it was at the beginning of the sentence
 
2013-11-27 10:48:35 AM
So they have the categories: before 25, 25, 26-29, 30, over 30.  So of course the majority will say under 25 which is the broadest category other than over 30...it's skewed.  It would have gotten really interesting if they broke up 'before 25' into something like 12-15, 16-18, 19-21, 22-24.  The responses from the Latino community would be especially interesting. (go ahead and call me racist for saying that Latinas have their kids way too young, it's ok).
 
2013-11-27 10:49:27 AM

jst3p: missmez: Unless you're stone, dirt "trust my ten year-old alone with a stranger in Walmart" poor, poor won't matter to the kids when they're little  What happens when you buy a little kid a big present?  Within ten minutes they're playing with the box it came in.

Having kids makes it more difficult to go from poor to not poor.


Less so when its two committed adults who actually planned to have kids.

Cymbal: missmez: Unless you're stone, dirt "trust my ten year-old alone with a stranger in Walmart" poor, poor won't matter to the kids when they're little  What happens when you buy a little kid a big present?  Within ten minutes they're playing with the box it came in.

What's your point? That being poor with kids is fine because they won't know the difference and will grow up to be millionaire entrepreneurs because they know what it's like to struggle and not have all those advantages handed to them? Because that's such a crock of shiat.


Yes, that is exactly my point.  How clever of you to read between the lines about the whole growing up to be millionaire entrepreneurs part.

My point is that if everybody who thought they couldn't afford to have kids didn't have kids, only the stupid people who didn't bother to think it through to begin with would be having kids.
 
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