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(io9)   10 most unintentionally funny lines in all of Star Trek   (io9.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Star Trek  
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14324 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Nov 2013 at 9:34 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-11-26 08:22:15 PM  
11 votes:
It wasn't a line, but it was pretty funny when Luke kissed his sister
2013-11-26 10:34:10 PM  
6 votes:
Sulu to Uhura: "I'll protect you fair maiden!"
Uhura: "Sorry.  Neither."
2013-11-26 09:59:06 PM  
6 votes:
fc05.deviantart.net
2013-11-26 11:04:45 PM  
4 votes:
"Captain's Log"
2013-11-27 03:10:27 AM  
3 votes:

BATMANATEE: I'm not a scientician, but wouldn't the vacuum of space preserve it? There would be no air or moisture to rust or rot it.


Lotta fluids in a truck to boil away in the vacuum of space, and that's just for starters. The tires would have exploded, and for that matter the windows, too, if a truck with a cabin full of air had been beamed into space. The moving metal parts would have cold-welded themselves together over the centuries. The battery would have died, for about a dozen different reasons. The water in the radiator would have frozen first, and ruined the radiator. Lots of fiddly little parts that rely on an atmosphere and temperature in the triple-digit Kelvin to fit together neatly would have come loose. Hundreds of years of micrometeorite damage. Faded paint from long-term exposure to cosmic rays. The radio wouldn't have gotten any decent AM stations in the Gamma Quadrant. The scent in the pine tree air freshener would have dissipated. And so forth.
2013-11-26 11:39:28 PM  
3 votes:
"I know, get JJ to do one! What's the worst that could happen?"
2013-11-26 10:48:43 PM  
3 votes:
"Please, Captain. Not in front of the Klingons."
2013-11-26 10:34:17 PM  
3 votes:

t3knomanser: "I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal."

"Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful. I'm glad they got sued. Even without copyright infringement, they definitely deserved to get sued for that abomination.


Wait... that piece of crap was actually stolen from something else? On purpose?
2013-11-26 10:24:55 PM  
3 votes:
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

"Do not hug me."
"Sir, I protest; I am not a merry man!"
"You are an insulting pompous fool, and if you were not an ambassador I would disembowel you right here!"
"Nice hat."
2013-11-26 10:18:38 PM  
3 votes:
What does God need with a starship?
-Rand Paul
2013-11-26 09:38:10 PM  
3 votes:
"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought"
2013-11-26 08:42:42 PM  
3 votes:
"I have penetrated the V'ger orifice."
2013-11-27 10:00:10 AM  
2 votes:

GRCooper: It wasn't a line, but it was pretty funny when Luke kissed his sister


i756.photobucket.com
2013-11-27 12:07:44 AM  
2 votes:

Slam Bradley: Tasha Yar: What I want now is gentleness, and joy...and love, from you Data.  You are fully functional aren't you?
Data: Of course, but...
Tasha Yar: How fuly?
Data: In every way of course.  I am programmed in multiple techniques.   A broad variety of pleasuring.

Tasha Yar then ruins the hotness of this scene by saying: Oh! You jewel, that's exactly what I hoped.


i7.glitter-graphics.org
2013-11-26 09:41:38 PM  
2 votes:

GRCooper: It wasn't a line, but it was pretty funny when Luke kissed his sister


img.fark.net
2013-11-26 07:51:26 PM  
2 votes:
Double dumbass on you.
2013-11-26 07:49:52 PM  
2 votes:
"Someone or some...thing made that sound."
--JTK
2013-11-28 01:04:24 AM  
1 vote:
This is a deleted scene.

Spocks Brain. McCoy is "piloting" spock's body with his laughable remote. Nimoy is doing that zombie walk but his sleeve snags a branch just enough to throw his stride slightly.

Doohan, re the automation device, ad libs: I think she pulls to one side, doctor.

// I am the Croesus of nerd points.
2013-11-27 10:41:30 AM  
1 vote:
3) "I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal." - TNG, "Sub Rosa"

Not funny. just creepy.
2013-11-27 07:48:25 AM  
1 vote:

born_yesterday: Quick!  Someone show this guy Jeri Ryan's tits!


Now I'm stuck on Voyager,
Pounding at the door,
When suddenly it occurs to me,
I've seen this show before.
I must be in a warp-bubble and slightly out of phase,
Because it was way back in the 60s,
And they called it 'Lost in Space'.

We were looking for a way,
To make the ratings soar,
So we orchestrated,
An encounter with the Borg.
Normally you'd think that would get us into shiat,
But this one has a smashing ass,
And a lovely set of tits.

-- "USS Make shiat Up" - Voltaire
2013-11-27 07:45:36 AM  
1 vote:

Vaneshi: COMALite J: dithering idiots

And that's why the whole series is known as "Kathy can't drive".  The show is a mess from start to finish, in the same episode with the floating space truck you have the Helmsman state a speed for the ship... which may or may not be accurate compared to other in universe fluff:

1.  Nobody corrects him, nobody even looks surprised at him over stating the ships capabilities, its implied he is correct.
2. That speed puts Voyager less than 10 years from Sol.

Voyager is a deep space long rage scout, it's top of the line and fully stocked for an extended cruise, the Federation are well aware and make use of stasis systems.  Federation technology is exceptionally reliable.   At no point does Kathy throw everyone in to stasis pods and let the computer drive them home at max speed.   The Borg would of ignored it, the Kazon and others wouldn't of been able to catch it. And anything it couldn't outrun the computer could of nailed to the wall with vastly superior, Federation, weapons of which it had lots..

At a few points they state their location, they are moving AWAY FROM not towards Sol.

Speaking of the Borg, the queen is demonstrated to be exceptionally capricious, easily angered and not very bright.  Janeway simply needed to tell her directly that the Kazon thought they could take the Borg (i.e. lie) and let the fireworks happen whilst she legged it. Hell the queen would of probably had that sphere TOW the ship through the transwarp network in exchange for all those new people to 'help towards perfection'.

If that show had a bible, a big document that writers had to refer to in order to make the show consistent, it had only these words in it "LOL Star Trek".


Quick!  Someone show this guy Jeri Ryan's tits!

/Apparently worked on the rest of the viewers
//Pretty sure Berman's motto was LOL Star Trek
2013-11-27 07:34:00 AM  
1 vote:
COMALite J: dithering idiots

And that's why the whole series is known as "Kathy can't drive".  The show is a mess from start to finish, in the same episode with the floating space truck you have the Helmsman state a speed for the ship... which may or may not be accurate compared to other in universe fluff:

1.  Nobody corrects him, nobody even looks surprised at him over stating the ships capabilities, its implied he is correct.
2. That speed puts Voyager less than 10 years from Sol.

Voyager is a deep space long rage scout, it's top of the line and fully stocked for an extended cruise, the Federation are well aware and make use of stasis systems.  Federation technology is exceptionally reliable.   At no point does Kathy throw everyone in to stasis pods and let the computer drive them home at max speed.   The Borg would of ignored it, the Kazon and others wouldn't of been able to catch it. And anything it couldn't outrun the computer could of nailed to the wall with vastly superior, Federation, weapons of which it had lots..

At a few points they state their location, they are moving AWAY FROM not towards Sol.

Speaking of the Borg, the queen is demonstrated to be exceptionally capricious, easily angered and not very bright.  Janeway simply needed to tell her directly that the Kazon thought they could take the Borg (i.e. lie) and let the fireworks happen whilst she legged it. Hell the queen would of probably had that sphere TOW the ship through the transwarp network in exchange for all those new people to 'help towards perfection'.

If that show had a bible, a big document that writers had to refer to in order to make the show consistent, it had only these words in it "LOL Star Trek".
2013-11-27 01:00:43 AM  
1 vote:
I don't think Senator Vreenak's 'It's a faaaake!!' was funny originally.  It just became one after the fact as an Internet meme.
2013-11-27 12:01:33 AM  
1 vote:
Tasha Yar: What I want now is gentleness, and joy...and love, from you Data.  You are fully functional aren't you?
Data: Of course, but...
Tasha Yar: How fuly?
Data: In every way of course.  I am programmed in multiple techniques.   A broad variety of pleasuring.

Tasha Yar then ruins the hotness of this scene by saying: Oh! You jewel, that's exactly what I hoped.
2013-11-26 11:21:08 PM  
1 vote:
On a somewhat related note, I was watching the Gilligan's Island episode "How to be a Hero" a few days ago and saw a scene that probably wouldn't be allowed today. Ginger is trying to teach The Skipper how to moan like he is injured, so they keep cutting between them moaning over and over again. They only show their upper bodies, so you can get an idea what it looked like. I wish I could find the video clip...
2013-11-26 11:09:18 PM  
1 vote:

Seequinn: "Captain's Log"


"Supplemental."
2013-11-26 11:05:25 PM  
1 vote:

darkman2000: Sulu to Uhura: "I'll protect you fair maiden!"
Uhura: "Sorry.  Neither."


Yep, that's the one.
2013-11-26 10:52:46 PM  
1 vote:
Crusher in the episode where she's trapped in the pocket universe warp bubble:
"If there's nothing wrong with me, there must be something wrong with the Universe!"
2013-11-26 10:49:43 PM  
1 vote:

vesalius: Worf's Klingon birds and bees speech to Wesley cracks me up every time, of course it's meant to be funny though.


"It's about this long, and this thick." - Wesley totally not describing Worf's penis in Wil's review of Justice
2013-11-26 10:40:30 PM  
1 vote:

t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.


I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?
2013-11-26 10:29:43 PM  
1 vote:
neatnik2009.files.wordpress.com
"And from my observations, it seems they're bisexual, reproducing at will. And, brother, have they got a lot of will. "
2013-11-26 10:26:30 PM  
1 vote:
"A fat tribble?"
   - Kirk


"Take d'Artagnan here to sickbay!"
- Spock
2013-11-26 10:17:48 PM  
1 vote:
"I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal."

"Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful. I'm glad they got sued. Even without copyright infringement, they definitely deserved to get sued for that abomination.
2013-11-26 10:16:01 PM  
1 vote:
"Good tea. Nice house."
2013-11-26 09:42:34 PM  
1 vote:
Subby and I seem to disagree on what is funny.
2013-11-26 04:56:26 PM  
1 vote:
"You may feel some slight discomfort while I set the bone."

-Dr. McCoy
 
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