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(io9)   10 most unintentionally funny lines in all of Star Trek   (io9.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Star Trek  
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14321 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Nov 2013 at 9:34 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-27 03:10:27 AM  
5 votes:

BATMANATEE: I'm not a scientician, but wouldn't the vacuum of space preserve it? There would be no air or moisture to rust or rot it.


Lotta fluids in a truck to boil away in the vacuum of space, and that's just for starters. The tires would have exploded, and for that matter the windows, too, if a truck with a cabin full of air had been beamed into space. The moving metal parts would have cold-welded themselves together over the centuries. The battery would have died, for about a dozen different reasons. The water in the radiator would have frozen first, and ruined the radiator. Lots of fiddly little parts that rely on an atmosphere and temperature in the triple-digit Kelvin to fit together neatly would have come loose. Hundreds of years of micrometeorite damage. Faded paint from long-term exposure to cosmic rays. The radio wouldn't have gotten any decent AM stations in the Gamma Quadrant. The scent in the pine tree air freshener would have dissipated. And so forth.
2013-11-26 11:13:29 PM  
4 votes:
On a side note people gave Jerri Ryan alot of flak for just being blatant eye candy on that show but she really is also a good actress. She did that part perfectly. Her and the doctor were the best two characters and actors on the show and were what made it watchable IMO. And her portrayal of the doctor inhabiting her body in that clip was a straight 10.0 out of 10.
2013-11-26 10:40:30 PM  
4 votes:

t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.


I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?
2013-11-26 10:17:48 PM  
4 votes:
"I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal."

"Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful. I'm glad they got sued. Even without copyright infringement, they definitely deserved to get sued for that abomination.
2013-11-27 03:45:09 AM  
3 votes:

B.L.Z. Bub: BATMANATEE: Strongbeerrules: Mugato: t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.

I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?

You've forgotten the 1937 Ford half-ton that starts on the first try after floating in space for 200 years.

The pussification of the Hirogin were no bargain, either.

I'm not a scientician, but wouldn't the vacuum of space preserve it? There would be no air or moisture to rust or rot it.

I ain't a scientician either, but they tell me that's why (speaking of Voyager) the Voyager 1 is still going after 36 years.


cuzsis: Mugato: t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.

I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?

I dunno. Janeway's dig on him at the end was pretty funny... in an emasculating sort of way.
 Which with Paris made it even funnier.
/Voyager has grown on me. Probably my favorite next to TNG.


"Threshold" is the worst. By far. Way worse than "Genesis" or "Sub Rosa." Way worse than the space truck. Way worse than "Spock's Brain" or "And the Children Shall Lead."

Why? Not just because of Warp 10 turning Paris and Janeway into giant farking (literally) salamanders. No, it gets worse. Much worse.

You see, the stupidity of those other episodes were pretty much self-contained within the episode itself. Not so with "Threshold." Its stupidity extended beyond, to the undoing of the whole premise of the series itself. The series should've ended with that episode, and there's only one explanation why it didn't.

Okay, so, traveling at Warp 10 is infinite speed, which means traveling through points A and B and all points between simultaneously and instantaneously. Velocity = ∞. Which means that, if it worked, it would get the Voyager home to the Alpha Quadrant instantly. End of series.

But, darn, it has a nasty side-effect. It turns humans into their "ultimate evolutionary form" (really?) of giant farking (literally) salamanders. But, (A) that transformation takes days to even start to become physically noticeable (with only some psychological effects prior to that) and weeks to complete, and (B) it can be completely cured in seconds by using the standard Trek cure-all of using the transporter set to "Restore Previous Molecular Backup" mode!

So, why didn't Voyager go home right then and there!? They could easily have Warp 10ed to Deep Space Nine or some Starbase, then beamed everyone aboard, restoring their molecular backups (making one shortly prior to Warp 10 just to be safe and to have the most recent version) in the process! The transformation would be aborted before it even became psychologically noticeable!

So why didn't they do that? Only one possible in-continuity explanation: everyone on the Voyager, including Captain Janeway, including Engineers, including the pure-blooded Vulcan Tuvok, were all blithering idiots!!

(Of course, it was actually the writer who was a blithering idiot...)
2013-11-27 09:43:57 AM  
2 votes:

born_yesterday: Quick! Someone show this guy Jeri Ryan's tits!


lh3.ggpht.com

Will this do?
2013-11-27 09:16:17 AM  
2 votes:
All there comments, and not one  "Are you out of your Vulcan Mind!?!?"

No nerds in here.
2013-11-27 07:34:00 AM  
2 votes:
COMALite J: dithering idiots

And that's why the whole series is known as "Kathy can't drive".  The show is a mess from start to finish, in the same episode with the floating space truck you have the Helmsman state a speed for the ship... which may or may not be accurate compared to other in universe fluff:

1.  Nobody corrects him, nobody even looks surprised at him over stating the ships capabilities, its implied he is correct.
2. That speed puts Voyager less than 10 years from Sol.

Voyager is a deep space long rage scout, it's top of the line and fully stocked for an extended cruise, the Federation are well aware and make use of stasis systems.  Federation technology is exceptionally reliable.   At no point does Kathy throw everyone in to stasis pods and let the computer drive them home at max speed.   The Borg would of ignored it, the Kazon and others wouldn't of been able to catch it. And anything it couldn't outrun the computer could of nailed to the wall with vastly superior, Federation, weapons of which it had lots..

At a few points they state their location, they are moving AWAY FROM not towards Sol.

Speaking of the Borg, the queen is demonstrated to be exceptionally capricious, easily angered and not very bright.  Janeway simply needed to tell her directly that the Kazon thought they could take the Borg (i.e. lie) and let the fireworks happen whilst she legged it. Hell the queen would of probably had that sphere TOW the ship through the transwarp network in exchange for all those new people to 'help towards perfection'.

If that show had a bible, a big document that writers had to refer to in order to make the show consistent, it had only these words in it "LOL Star Trek".
2013-11-26 10:34:10 PM  
2 votes:
Sulu to Uhura: "I'll protect you fair maiden!"
Uhura: "Sorry.  Neither."
2013-11-26 10:16:01 PM  
2 votes:
"Good tea. Nice house."
2013-11-26 09:42:34 PM  
2 votes:
Subby and I seem to disagree on what is funny.
2013-11-27 11:18:07 AM  
1 vote:
give me doughnuts: ...  A recent study quoted by the National Institute of Health estimated that there are approximately 3.72 X 10^13 cells in an adult human body.There are an estimated 10^14 atoms in each of those cells.

That's about 3.72 X 10^27 atoms (3,720,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000), each of which contains varying numbers of  protons, neutrons, and electrons. Each of which will need to have a few bits of RAM dedicated to remembering position, speed, spin, and energy level, etc.


If I clear out some of my porn stash, I just might have enough space on my external drive.
2013-11-27 09:52:12 AM  
1 vote:

Mugato: Vaneshi: Pilot episode.  Transporters are mentioned now being human rated and certified for all uses, although the crew 'distrust' them.  That's the crew of a starship with a prototype and untested matter/anti-matter reactor at its heart... distrust a piece of technology that has more safety certificates than their ships own engine.

Yeah it sucks that they immediately had the transporter. In fact all their tech was too advanced.



The transporter was always impossible. Roddenberry came up with it as a way of getting the actors to the "planet" sets without having to have shots of them getting into shuttles and flying to the surface. It saved time and money when the show was always short of both.
2013-11-27 09:31:21 AM  
1 vote:

born_yesterday: See also Enterprise:  Uh oh, ratings are dropping!  Time for another oiled-up decontamination room scene!


Pilot episode.  Transporters are mentioned now being human rated and certified for all uses, although the crew 'distrust' them.  That's the crew of a starship with a prototype and untested matter/anti-matter reactor at its heart... distrust a piece of technology that has more safety certificates than their ships own engine.

So a lot of those oiled up scenes they didn't need to do if the crew of the most advanced human made starship weren't complete technophobes.

And don't get me started on the time travelling alien Nazi's with laser shooting Stuka's.
2013-11-27 04:36:22 AM  
1 vote:
Obligatory

i1.ytimg.com
2013-11-27 01:00:43 AM  
1 vote:
I don't think Senator Vreenak's 'It's a faaaake!!' was funny originally.  It just became one after the fact as an Internet meme.
2013-11-27 12:51:53 AM  
1 vote:
How about the episode of Deep Space Nine where Worf arrives for the first time and meets the crew/cast. When he's introduced to Jadzia Dax (formerly Kurzon).

Worf: "Kurzon's name is an honored one among my people."

Jadzia: (speaking it in Klingon): ""Yeah, but I'm a lot better looking than he was"
2013-11-27 12:01:18 AM  
1 vote:

t3knomanser: "I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal."

"Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful. I'm glad they got sued. Even without copyright infringement, they definitely deserved to get sued for that abomination.


You have to give them props for having Crusher masturbate on screen and it getting on the air because the censors had no clue what was going on.
2013-11-26 11:41:25 PM  
1 vote:

BATMANATEE: You've forgotten the 1937 Ford half-ton that starts on the first try after floating in space for 200 years.

The pussification of the Hirogin were no bargain, either.

I'm not a scientician, but wouldn't the vacuum of space preserve it? There would be no air or moisture to rust or rot it.


Wouldn't the gasoline be frozen?
2013-11-26 11:39:28 PM  
1 vote:
"I know, get JJ to do one! What's the worst that could happen?"
2013-11-26 11:34:15 PM  
1 vote:

puckrock2000: "Do not hug me."
"Sir, I protest; I am not a merry man!"
"You are an insulting pompous fool, and if you were not an ambassador I would disembowel you right here!"
"Nice hat."

servlet: "Warrior's drink"


Those are meant to be funny. When Data and Worf weren't the focus of an episode, they were invariably related to either comic relief or the Worf Effect  (which is a shame because they were always the most compelling characters to me)
2013-11-26 11:24:45 PM  
1 vote:

rhiannon: Ed Grubermann: [fc05.deviantart.net image 525x700]

What's the pedo bear seal for? It can't be for the actress or her character...


Actress Kim Darby was 19 during filming, and her character is over 300 years old, but according to the script anyone on that planet who isn't covered in scabs or dead hasn't hit puberty.
2013-11-26 11:13:35 PM  
1 vote:
This isn't unintentional, but it is funny.

McCoy comes up with a cure for something that is affecting the crew.

MCCOY: It merely deadens certain nerve inputs to the brain.
SCOTT: Oh, well, any decent brand of Scotch will do that.
2013-11-26 11:11:35 PM  
1 vote:
3.bp.blogspot.com

"Warrior's drink"

Also,
"The universe is a spheroid region, 705 meters in diameter." from Remember Me
2013-11-26 11:04:45 PM  
1 vote:
"Captain's Log"
2013-11-26 10:48:43 PM  
1 vote:
"Please, Captain. Not in front of the Klingons."
2013-11-26 10:45:00 PM  
1 vote:
2013-11-26 09:54:30 PM  
1 vote:
that was painful
2013-11-26 08:22:15 PM  
1 vote:
It wasn't a line, but it was pretty funny when Luke kissed his sister
 
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