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(io9)   10 most unintentionally funny lines in all of Star Trek   (io9.com) divider line 141
    More: Amusing, Star Trek  
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14295 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Nov 2013 at 9:34 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



141 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-26 04:56:26 PM
"You may feel some slight discomfort while I set the bone."

-Dr. McCoy
 
2013-11-26 07:49:52 PM
"Someone or some...thing made that sound."
--JTK
 
2013-11-26 07:51:26 PM
Double dumbass on you.
 
2013-11-26 08:22:15 PM
It wasn't a line, but it was pretty funny when Luke kissed his sister
 
2013-11-26 08:42:42 PM
"I have penetrated the V'ger orifice."
 
2013-11-26 09:38:10 PM
"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought"
 
2013-11-26 09:39:39 PM
"You became sexually aroused in my body!"

I'm not sure that one qualifies as "unintentionally" funny.
 
2013-11-26 09:41:38 PM

GRCooper: It wasn't a line, but it was pretty funny when Luke kissed his sister


img.fark.net
 
2013-11-26 09:42:34 PM
Subby and I seem to disagree on what is funny.
 
2013-11-26 09:45:29 PM
"We enjoy it"
"The literature?"
 
2013-11-26 09:54:30 PM
that was painful
 
2013-11-26 09:55:02 PM
At least they got #1 right.
 
2013-11-26 09:55:29 PM
"Any sign of Neelix's lungs?"
 
2013-11-26 09:59:06 PM
fc05.deviantart.net
 
2013-11-26 10:07:24 PM
"...Finney..."
 
2013-11-26 10:09:24 PM
'Dis fauut iss too da det'.
 
2013-11-26 10:12:53 PM
I'm a role model. Picard.
 
2013-11-26 10:13:55 PM

Ed Grubermann: [fc05.deviantart.net image 525x700]


What's the pedo bear seal for? It can't be for the actress or her character...
 
2013-11-26 10:15:10 PM
Bring d'Artagnan to sick bay.

Ok, probably intentionally funny... but not for Spock. Spock would not be intentionally funny.
 
2013-11-26 10:15:52 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: GRCooper: It wasn't a line, but it was pretty funny when Luke kissed his sister

[img.fark.net image 400x400]


www.99chan.org
 
2013-11-26 10:16:01 PM
"Good tea. Nice house."
 
2013-11-26 10:17:48 PM
"I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal."

"Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful. I'm glad they got sued. Even without copyright infringement, they definitely deserved to get sued for that abomination.
 
2013-11-26 10:18:13 PM
Worf's Klingon birds and bees speech to Wesley cracks me up every time, of course it's meant to be funny though.
 
2013-11-26 10:18:38 PM
What does God need with a starship?
-Rand Paul
 
2013-11-26 10:18:50 PM

gingerjet: B.L.Z. Bub: GRCooper: It wasn't a line, but it was pretty funny when Luke kissed his sister

[img.fark.net image 400x400]

[www.99chan.org image 452x339]


Jokes are supposed to be funny.
 
2013-11-26 10:19:10 PM
i',m a doctor jim, not a ,,,,,,,
 
2013-11-26 10:24:55 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

"Do not hug me."
"Sir, I protest; I am not a merry man!"
"You are an insulting pompous fool, and if you were not an ambassador I would disembowel you right here!"
"Nice hat."
 
2013-11-26 10:26:30 PM
"A fat tribble?"
   - Kirk


"Take d'Artagnan here to sickbay!"
- Spock
 
2013-11-26 10:26:52 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: gingerjet: B.L.Z. Bub: GRCooper: It wasn't a line, but it was pretty funny when Luke kissed his sister

[img.fark.net image 400x400]

[www.99chan.org image 452x339]

Jokes are supposed to be funny.


Hell of a lot funnier than anything in the article.
 
2013-11-26 10:29:43 PM
neatnik2009.files.wordpress.com
"And from my observations, it seems they're bisexual, reproducing at will. And, brother, have they got a lot of will. "
 
2013-11-26 10:32:37 PM
I always liked the "Take the cheese to sickbay" line.
 
2013-11-26 10:33:14 PM

gingerjet: B.L.Z. Bub: gingerjet: B.L.Z. Bub: GRCooper: It wasn't a line, but it was pretty funny when Luke kissed his sister

[img.fark.net image 400x400]

[www.99chan.org image 452x339]

Jokes are supposed to be funny.

Hell of a lot funnier than anything in the article.


I bow to that left handed compliment ...
 
2013-11-26 10:34:10 PM
Sulu to Uhura: "I'll protect you fair maiden!"
Uhura: "Sorry.  Neither."
 
2013-11-26 10:34:17 PM

t3knomanser: "I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal."

"Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful. I'm glad they got sued. Even without copyright infringement, they definitely deserved to get sued for that abomination.


Wait... that piece of crap was actually stolen from something else? On purpose?
 
2013-11-26 10:35:32 PM
We may explode into the biggest fireball this part of the galaxy has seen, but we've got to take  that one in a million chance!!!
 
2013-11-26 10:35:46 PM
Search for "Star Trek the sexed generation" on You Tube.


/enjoy
 
2013-11-26 10:37:05 PM
There. Are. Four. Lights!
 
2013-11-26 10:40:30 PM

t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.


I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?
 
2013-11-26 10:44:06 PM

darkman2000: Sulu to Uhura: "I'll protect you fair maiden!"
Uhura: "Sorry.  Neither."


I do not remember that, but that may be the funniest thing I've heard today.
 
2013-11-26 10:45:00 PM
 
2013-11-26 10:45:53 PM

Mugato: t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.

I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?


And then the author of that episode ("Threshold") went on to produce a short-lived TV series of the same name:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Threshold_(TV_series)
 
2013-11-26 10:46:46 PM

Mugato: t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.

I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?

You've forgotten the 1937 Ford half-ton that starts on the first try after floating in space for 200 years.

The pussification of the Hirogin were no bargain, either.

 
2013-11-26 10:47:32 PM

Mugato: t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.

I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?


I dunno. Janeway's dig on him at the end was pretty funny... in an emasculating sort of way. 

 Which with Paris made it even funnier. 

/Voyager has grown on me. Probably my favorite next to TNG.
 
2013-11-26 10:48:43 PM
"Please, Captain. Not in front of the Klingons."
 
2013-11-26 10:49:43 PM

vesalius: Worf's Klingon birds and bees speech to Wesley cracks me up every time, of course it's meant to be funny though.


"It's about this long, and this thick." - Wesley totally not describing Worf's penis in Wil's review of Justice
 
2013-11-26 10:52:19 PM

clkeagle: t3knomanser: "I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal."

"Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful. I'm glad they got sued. Even without copyright infringement, they definitely deserved to get sued for that abomination.

Wait... that piece of crap was actually stolen from something else? On purpose?


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-11-26 10:52:46 PM
Crusher in the episode where she's trapped in the pocket universe warp bubble:
"If there's nothing wrong with me, there must be something wrong with the Universe!"
 
2013-11-26 11:04:45 PM
"Captain's Log"
 
2013-11-26 11:05:25 PM

darkman2000: Sulu to Uhura: "I'll protect you fair maiden!"
Uhura: "Sorry.  Neither."


Yep, that's the one.
 
2013-11-26 11:08:03 PM

t3knomanser: "I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal."

"Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful. I'm glad they got sued. Even without copyright infringement, they definitely deserved to get sued for that abomination.


Jonathan Frakes directed that one.  A Trekkie I knew back then said "You know he was loving those scenes with the ghost lover and Crusher.  'Moan, Bev!'"
 
2013-11-26 11:09:18 PM

Seequinn: "Captain's Log"


"Supplemental."
 
2013-11-26 11:11:35 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

"Warrior's drink"

Also,
"The universe is a spheroid region, 705 meters in diameter." from Remember Me
 
2013-11-26 11:13:29 PM
On a side note people gave Jerri Ryan alot of flak for just being blatant eye candy on that show but she really is also a good actress. She did that part perfectly. Her and the doctor were the best two characters and actors on the show and were what made it watchable IMO. And her portrayal of the doctor inhabiting her body in that clip was a straight 10.0 out of 10.
 
2013-11-26 11:13:35 PM
This isn't unintentional, but it is funny.

McCoy comes up with a cure for something that is affecting the crew.

MCCOY: It merely deadens certain nerve inputs to the brain.
SCOTT: Oh, well, any decent brand of Scotch will do that.
 
2013-11-26 11:21:08 PM
On a somewhat related note, I was watching the Gilligan's Island episode "How to be a Hero" a few days ago and saw a scene that probably wouldn't be allowed today. Ginger is trying to teach The Skipper how to moan like he is injured, so they keep cutting between them moaning over and over again. They only show their upper bodies, so you can get an idea what it looked like. I wish I could find the video clip...
 
2013-11-26 11:24:45 PM

rhiannon: Ed Grubermann: [fc05.deviantart.net image 525x700]

What's the pedo bear seal for? It can't be for the actress or her character...


Actress Kim Darby was 19 during filming, and her character is over 300 years old, but according to the script anyone on that planet who isn't covered in scabs or dead hasn't hit puberty.
 
2013-11-26 11:34:15 PM

puckrock2000: "Do not hug me."
"Sir, I protest; I am not a merry man!"
"You are an insulting pompous fool, and if you were not an ambassador I would disembowel you right here!"
"Nice hat."

servlet: "Warrior's drink"


Those are meant to be funny. When Data and Worf weren't the focus of an episode, they were invariably related to either comic relief or the Worf Effect  (which is a shame because they were always the most compelling characters to me)
 
2013-11-26 11:34:25 PM

Strongbeerrules: Mugato: t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.

I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?

You've forgotten the 1937 Ford half-ton that starts on the first try after floating in space for 200 years.

The pussification of the Hirogin were no bargain, either.


I'm not a scientician, but wouldn't the vacuum of space preserve it? There would be no air or moisture to rust or rot it.
 
2013-11-26 11:37:33 PM

BATMANATEE: Strongbeerrules: Mugato: t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.

I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?

You've forgotten the 1937 Ford half-ton that starts on the first try after floating in space for 200 years.

The pussification of the Hirogin were no bargain, either.

I'm not a scientician, but wouldn't the vacuum of space preserve it? There would be no air or moisture to rust or rot it.


I ain't a scientician either, but they tell me that's why (speaking of Voyager) the Voyager 1 is still going after 36 years.
 
2013-11-26 11:39:28 PM
"I know, get JJ to do one! What's the worst that could happen?"
 
2013-11-26 11:41:25 PM

BATMANATEE: You've forgotten the 1937 Ford half-ton that starts on the first try after floating in space for 200 years.

The pussification of the Hirogin were no bargain, either.

I'm not a scientician, but wouldn't the vacuum of space preserve it? There would be no air or moisture to rust or rot it.


Wouldn't the gasoline be frozen?
 
2013-11-26 11:47:14 PM

Snapper Carr: puckrock2000: "Do not hug me."
"Sir, I protest; I am not a merry man!"
"You are an insulting pompous fool, and if you were not an ambassador I would disembowel you right here!"
"Nice hat."
servlet: "Warrior's drink"

Those are meant to be funny. When Data and Worf weren't the focus of an episode, they were invariably related to either comic relief or the Worf Effect  (which is a shame because they were always the most compelling characters to me)


And O'Brian was the punching bag, the poor bastard. I think Colm Meany was being punished for having a career outside of Trek, but they enjoyed torturing him so much they kept making his character more important just to fark with him some more.
 
2013-11-26 11:53:35 PM

Mugato: BATMANATEE: You've forgotten the 1937 Ford half-ton that starts on the first try after floating in space for 200 years.

The pussification of the Hirogin were no bargain, either.

I'm not a scientician, but wouldn't the vacuum of space preserve it? There would be no air or moisture to rust or rot it.

Wouldn't the gasoline be frozen?


I suppose, but it would thaw when they brought it onboard, which I think they did. I only have a vague recollection of the episode and am talking out of my ass here. I would think that if they didn't let too much condensation taint the gas as it thawed, it should be preserved like the rest of the truck.
 
2013-11-27 12:01:18 AM

t3knomanser: "I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal."

"Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful. I'm glad they got sued. Even without copyright infringement, they definitely deserved to get sued for that abomination.


You have to give them props for having Crusher masturbate on screen and it getting on the air because the censors had no clue what was going on.
 
2013-11-27 12:01:33 AM
Tasha Yar: What I want now is gentleness, and joy...and love, from you Data.  You are fully functional aren't you?
Data: Of course, but...
Tasha Yar: How fuly?
Data: In every way of course.  I am programmed in multiple techniques.   A broad variety of pleasuring.

Tasha Yar then ruins the hotness of this scene by saying: Oh! You jewel, that's exactly what I hoped.
 
2013-11-27 12:07:44 AM

Slam Bradley: Tasha Yar: What I want now is gentleness, and joy...and love, from you Data.  You are fully functional aren't you?
Data: Of course, but...
Tasha Yar: How fuly?
Data: In every way of course.  I am programmed in multiple techniques.   A broad variety of pleasuring.

Tasha Yar then ruins the hotness of this scene by saying: Oh! You jewel, that's exactly what I hoped.


i7.glitter-graphics.org
 
2013-11-27 12:13:08 AM
"Mr. Spock, double power to the censor array."
"It is 'sensor', Captain."
"You heard the order, Mr. Spock."
"Yes sir, on screen."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp_q1M1WxXs
 
2013-11-27 12:24:44 AM

common sense is an oxymoron: At least they got #1 right.


I use #1 all the time. People think that I am insane.
 
2013-11-27 12:31:55 AM
tale-of-tales.com

"More ambience.  Less substance."
 
2013-11-27 12:36:28 AM
"I don't say 'sabotage.' You say 'sabotage' I say 'saboTAGE.'" - Shatner, behind the scenes of Star Trek the Animated Series

http://www.celebrityrants.com/premium/celeb_shatner2.html
 
2013-11-27 12:44:37 AM
Riker - "If anyone needs me I'll be on the holodeck", after meeting the perfect mate
 
2013-11-27 12:51:53 AM
How about the episode of Deep Space Nine where Worf arrives for the first time and meets the crew/cast. When he's introduced to Jadzia Dax (formerly Kurzon).

Worf: "Kurzon's name is an honored one among my people."

Jadzia: (speaking it in Klingon): ""Yeah, but I'm a lot better looking than he was"
 
2013-11-27 01:00:43 AM
I don't think Senator Vreenak's 'It's a faaaake!!' was funny originally.  It just became one after the fact as an Internet meme.
 
2013-11-27 01:02:32 AM

TV's Vinnie: How about the episode of Deep Space Nine where Worf arrives for the first time and meets the crew/cast. When he's introduced to Jadzia Dax (formerly Kurzon).

Worf: "Kurzon's name is an honored one among my people."

Jadzia: (speaking it in Klingon): ""Yeah, but I'm a lot better looking than he was"


Worf: 'Yes, I suppose so.  Excuse me.' - leaves

Kira: 'What did you say to him?'

Jadzia: 'It loses something in translation.'

/going from memory
 
2013-11-27 01:20:15 AM

BATMANATEE: Mugato: BATMANATEE: You've forgotten the 1937 Ford half-ton that starts on the first try after floating in space for 200 years.

The pussification of the Hirogin were no bargain, either.

I'm not a scientician, but wouldn't the vacuum of space preserve it? There would be no air or moisture to rust or rot it.

Wouldn't the gasoline be frozen?

I suppose, but it would thaw when they brought it onboard, which I think they did. I only have a vague recollection of the episode and am talking out of my ass here. I would think that if they didn't let too much condensation taint the gas as it thawed, it should be preserved like the rest of the truck.


Been a while since I re-watched Voyager on Netflix, but IIRC they had to replicate "hydrocarbon based fuel" for the truck...
 
2013-11-27 01:22:22 AM

Gleeman: Been a while since I re-watched Voyager on Netflix, but IIRC they had to replicate "hydrocarbon based fuel" for the truck...


Been even longer since I've seen it, but I have no idea why they'd WANT to put fuel in the truck.
 
2013-11-27 01:38:50 AM
 
2013-11-27 02:06:20 AM

Zombalupagus: On a side note people gave Jerri Ryan alot of flak for just being blatant eye candy on that show but she really is also a good actress. She did that part perfectly. Her and the doctor were the best two characters and actors on the show and were what made it watchable IMO. And her portrayal of the doctor inhabiting her body in that clip was a straight 10.0 out of 10.


Striking that last part, I'm with you here. 7 of 9 was the most interesting character on the show, but most people just saw knockers. (And that's certainly understandable, to a degree.)
 
2013-11-27 02:12:13 AM
some were intentional. none were that funny.
 
2013-11-27 02:50:26 AM

Mugato: t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.

I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?


I humbly submit TNG's "Genesis" episode. Picard starts turning into a lemur and Barclay turns into a F*CKING. GIANT. SPIDER.
 
2013-11-27 02:51:24 AM

fusillade762: Mugato: t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.

I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?

I humbly submit TNG's "Genesis" episode. Picard starts turning into a lemur and Barclay turns into a F*CKING. GIANT. SPIDER.


That was still above average for NextGen.
 
2013-11-27 03:10:27 AM

BATMANATEE: I'm not a scientician, but wouldn't the vacuum of space preserve it? There would be no air or moisture to rust or rot it.


Lotta fluids in a truck to boil away in the vacuum of space, and that's just for starters. The tires would have exploded, and for that matter the windows, too, if a truck with a cabin full of air had been beamed into space. The moving metal parts would have cold-welded themselves together over the centuries. The battery would have died, for about a dozen different reasons. The water in the radiator would have frozen first, and ruined the radiator. Lots of fiddly little parts that rely on an atmosphere and temperature in the triple-digit Kelvin to fit together neatly would have come loose. Hundreds of years of micrometeorite damage. Faded paint from long-term exposure to cosmic rays. The radio wouldn't have gotten any decent AM stations in the Gamma Quadrant. The scent in the pine tree air freshener would have dissipated. And so forth.
 
2013-11-27 03:45:09 AM

B.L.Z. Bub: BATMANATEE: Strongbeerrules: Mugato: t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.

I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?

You've forgotten the 1937 Ford half-ton that starts on the first try after floating in space for 200 years.

The pussification of the Hirogin were no bargain, either.

I'm not a scientician, but wouldn't the vacuum of space preserve it? There would be no air or moisture to rust or rot it.

I ain't a scientician either, but they tell me that's why (speaking of Voyager) the Voyager 1 is still going after 36 years.


cuzsis: Mugato: t3knomanser: "Sub Rosa" is the best worst episode of any incarnation of Star Trek. It's just... awful.

I don't know, what about the Voyager episode where Paris discovers a way to reach warp 10 and it turns him and Jayneway into salamanders and they mate?

I dunno. Janeway's dig on him at the end was pretty funny... in an emasculating sort of way.
 Which with Paris made it even funnier.
/Voyager has grown on me. Probably my favorite next to TNG.


"Threshold" is the worst. By far. Way worse than "Genesis" or "Sub Rosa." Way worse than the space truck. Way worse than "Spock's Brain" or "And the Children Shall Lead."

Why? Not just because of Warp 10 turning Paris and Janeway into giant farking (literally) salamanders. No, it gets worse. Much worse.

You see, the stupidity of those other episodes were pretty much self-contained within the episode itself. Not so with "Threshold." Its stupidity extended beyond, to the undoing of the whole premise of the series itself. The series should've ended with that episode, and there's only one explanation why it didn't.

Okay, so, traveling at Warp 10 is infinite speed, which means traveling through points A and B and all points between simultaneously and instantaneously. Velocity = ∞. Which means that, if it worked, it would get the Voyager home to the Alpha Quadrant instantly. End of series.

But, darn, it has a nasty side-effect. It turns humans into their "ultimate evolutionary form" (really?) of giant farking (literally) salamanders. But, (A) that transformation takes days to even start to become physically noticeable (with only some psychological effects prior to that) and weeks to complete, and (B) it can be completely cured in seconds by using the standard Trek cure-all of using the transporter set to "Restore Previous Molecular Backup" mode!

So, why didn't Voyager go home right then and there!? They could easily have Warp 10ed to Deep Space Nine or some Starbase, then beamed everyone aboard, restoring their molecular backups (making one shortly prior to Warp 10 just to be safe and to have the most recent version) in the process! The transformation would be aborted before it even became psychologically noticeable!

So why didn't they do that? Only one possible in-continuity explanation: everyone on the Voyager, including Captain Janeway, including Engineers, including the pure-blooded Vulcan Tuvok, were all blithering idiots!!

(Of course, it was actually the writer who was a blithering idiot...)
 
2013-11-27 04:12:53 AM
The only one getting a chuckle from me was: "I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal." Haha.
 
2013-11-27 04:36:22 AM
Obligatory

i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-11-27 04:54:26 AM
Can someone explain to me why the "It's a faaaake" line is funny? That was a climactic moment in what was possibly one of the best "Trek" episodes, ever.
 
2013-11-27 05:01:27 AM

Dadoo: Can someone explain to me why the "It's a faaaake" line is funny? That was a climactic moment in what was possibly one of the best "Trek" episodes, ever.


I think it's only because people used that screenshot when other things in real life turned out to be fake.
 
2013-11-27 05:04:23 AM
Only one line from TOS?

No wonder this hit the Entertainment Tab instead of the Geek Tab.

And fark you Fark for making me click on an i09 link.
 
2013-11-27 05:06:24 AM

gfid: Only one line from TOS?

No wonder this hit the Entertainment Tab instead of the Geek Tab.

And fark you Fark for making me click on an i09 link.


Eh, the i09 link from a week or so ago, ranking every Doctor Who episode was pretty good.
 
2013-11-27 06:12:17 AM

Dadoo: Can someone explain to me why the "It's a faaaake" line is funny? That was a climactic moment in what was possibly one of the best "Trek" episodes, ever.


Are you kidding me? It's just the way he says it, man. Freaking cracks me up. Just for you:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXWQIiFxjbc
 
2013-11-27 06:25:39 AM

common sense is an oxymoron: At least they got #1 right.


Yeeees. Yes they did.
 
2013-11-27 07:10:35 AM
Kirk: All right, you mutinous, disloyal, computerized half-breed. We'll see about you deserting my ship.

Spock: The term "half-breed" is somewhat applicable, but "computerized" is inaccurate. A machine can be computerized, not a man.

Kirk: What makes you think you're a man? You're an overgrown jackrabbit. An elf with a hyperactive thyroid!

Spock: Jim, I don't understand...

Kirk: Of course you don't understand. You don't have the brains to understand. All you have is printed circuits.

Spock: Captain, if you will excuse me.

Kirk: [blocks Spock's way and interupts] What can you expect from a simpering, devil-eared freak whose father was a computer and his mother an encyclopedia?

Spock: My mother was a teacher. My father an ambassador.

Kirk: Your father... was... a computer, like his son. An ambassador from a planet of traitors. The Vulcan never lived who had an ounce of integrity...

Spock: Captain, please don't...

Kirk: You're a traitor from a race of traitors. Disloyal to the core. Rotten! Like the rest of your subhuman race. And you've got the GALL... to make love to that girl!

Spock: That's enough.

Kirk: Does she know what she's getting, Spock? A carcass full of memory banks who should be squatting on a mushroom? Instead of passing himself off as a man? You belong in the circus, Spock, not a starship. Right next to the dog faced boy!

[Spock starts to beat the shiat out of Kirk.]
 
2013-11-27 07:18:26 AM
I would suggest the list fails without "Ahhhh......ahhhhh.... bitter dregs."

TOS Drinking Game

1) When Shatner splits one sentence.... into two phrases, drink.
2) When Scotty insists he can't do his job, drink.
3) When Spock says 'fascinating', 'interesting' or 'most illogical', drink
4) When the scriptwriters pull a deus ex machina involving Vulcan physiology, chug what you have to finish.
5) When Sulu turns around and gives Kirk a nervous look, drink.
6) When Uhura says "Captain, I'm scared" or some other emotion, drink.
7) When McCoy insists that something is beyond his power, drink.
8) When Chekov flubs his Russian accent, drink.
9) When McCoy says, "he's dead, Jim," kill off your drink.
10) If you see the episode where Spock sings or plays the bicycle wheel, finish your drink, chug another one, and then start the next one.

If you're not plowed in 45 minutes, you're not trying.
 
2013-11-27 07:34:00 AM
COMALite J: dithering idiots

And that's why the whole series is known as "Kathy can't drive".  The show is a mess from start to finish, in the same episode with the floating space truck you have the Helmsman state a speed for the ship... which may or may not be accurate compared to other in universe fluff:

1.  Nobody corrects him, nobody even looks surprised at him over stating the ships capabilities, its implied he is correct.
2. That speed puts Voyager less than 10 years from Sol.

Voyager is a deep space long rage scout, it's top of the line and fully stocked for an extended cruise, the Federation are well aware and make use of stasis systems.  Federation technology is exceptionally reliable.   At no point does Kathy throw everyone in to stasis pods and let the computer drive them home at max speed.   The Borg would of ignored it, the Kazon and others wouldn't of been able to catch it. And anything it couldn't outrun the computer could of nailed to the wall with vastly superior, Federation, weapons of which it had lots..

At a few points they state their location, they are moving AWAY FROM not towards Sol.

Speaking of the Borg, the queen is demonstrated to be exceptionally capricious, easily angered and not very bright.  Janeway simply needed to tell her directly that the Kazon thought they could take the Borg (i.e. lie) and let the fireworks happen whilst she legged it. Hell the queen would of probably had that sphere TOW the ship through the transwarp network in exchange for all those new people to 'help towards perfection'.

If that show had a bible, a big document that writers had to refer to in order to make the show consistent, it had only these words in it "LOL Star Trek".
 
2013-11-27 07:35:54 AM

DanInKansas: If you're not plowed in 45 minutes, you're not trying.


Plowed? That game could  kill you.
 
2013-11-27 07:45:36 AM

Vaneshi: COMALite J: dithering idiots

And that's why the whole series is known as "Kathy can't drive".  The show is a mess from start to finish, in the same episode with the floating space truck you have the Helmsman state a speed for the ship... which may or may not be accurate compared to other in universe fluff:

1.  Nobody corrects him, nobody even looks surprised at him over stating the ships capabilities, its implied he is correct.
2. That speed puts Voyager less than 10 years from Sol.

Voyager is a deep space long rage scout, it's top of the line and fully stocked for an extended cruise, the Federation are well aware and make use of stasis systems.  Federation technology is exceptionally reliable.   At no point does Kathy throw everyone in to stasis pods and let the computer drive them home at max speed.   The Borg would of ignored it, the Kazon and others wouldn't of been able to catch it. And anything it couldn't outrun the computer could of nailed to the wall with vastly superior, Federation, weapons of which it had lots..

At a few points they state their location, they are moving AWAY FROM not towards Sol.

Speaking of the Borg, the queen is demonstrated to be exceptionally capricious, easily angered and not very bright.  Janeway simply needed to tell her directly that the Kazon thought they could take the Borg (i.e. lie) and let the fireworks happen whilst she legged it. Hell the queen would of probably had that sphere TOW the ship through the transwarp network in exchange for all those new people to 'help towards perfection'.

If that show had a bible, a big document that writers had to refer to in order to make the show consistent, it had only these words in it "LOL Star Trek".


Quick!  Someone show this guy Jeri Ryan's tits!

/Apparently worked on the rest of the viewers
//Pretty sure Berman's motto was LOL Star Trek
 
2013-11-27 07:46:16 AM
Tasha's little afternoon special speech to Wesley was pretty funny.
 
2013-11-27 07:48:25 AM

born_yesterday: Quick!  Someone show this guy Jeri Ryan's tits!


Now I'm stuck on Voyager,
Pounding at the door,
When suddenly it occurs to me,
I've seen this show before.
I must be in a warp-bubble and slightly out of phase,
Because it was way back in the 60s,
And they called it 'Lost in Space'.

We were looking for a way,
To make the ratings soar,
So we orchestrated,
An encounter with the Borg.
Normally you'd think that would get us into shiat,
But this one has a smashing ass,
And a lovely set of tits.

-- "USS Make shiat Up" - Voltaire
 
2013-11-27 07:57:55 AM

t3knomanser: DanInKansas: If you're not plowed in 45 minutes, you're not trying.

Plowed? That game could  kill you.


I'm going to do it with bong hits, the next time I get some Romulan. I'd do TOS, but my BFF is a TNG/DS9 fan, so it'll probably be a TNG run of Q episodes. I can morph the rules for TNG, or DS9 I'll bet.

Also I'm a TOS fanboi, and didn't watch TNG when it came out (I was pouting about it). My TNG experience was an edited episode run w/ the BFF where we skipped a lot of the dead weight, including almost all the Wesley episodes. Basically it's like having watched TOS without Way to Eden and Spock's Brain.

I still haven't seen Enterprise, other than watching the Just Dance orion girls slash video which has yummy clips of Orion strippers from Enterprise. I did like Voyager although Janeway should've been court martialed and thrown in brig/prison upon return. Quite a few of them would be breaking rocks on some alien moon.
 
2013-11-27 08:00:22 AM

Lady Indica: Basically it's like having watched TOS without Way to Eden and Spock's Brain.


You sound like a Herbert.
 
2013-11-27 08:11:46 AM
BATMANATEE: Mugato: BATMANATEE: You've forgotten the 1937 Ford half-ton that starts on the first try after floating in space for 200 years.

.. and when it starts, it backfires startling Tuvok(sp?) the highly trained tactical officer, causing to look behind him then up to the ceiling.

If you can't tell a noise came from in front and below you, perhaps you shouldn't be a tactical officer.

// Welcome to the idiocy that is... Voyager.
 
2013-11-27 08:14:35 AM
Kif, I've mated with a woman. Inform the crew.
 
2013-11-27 08:15:47 AM
Eh, there were a handful of good Voyager episodes.  I've been selectively viewing them via Netflix.  Yep, the doc and 7 of 9 were the standouts.  All of the other characters were bland though they tried and tried to liven them up. There's a reason most of these actors didn't go anywhere.

I did like the Delta Flyer race episode, it was a fresh idea.  The Q on trial was good.  What happens to explorers who have explored everything?  Good sci-fi.  I quit around season 5 but I'm not plowing through the bad shows for a gem or two.

I think this weekend I'll finally watch the last few episodes and see how they get home.
 
2013-11-27 08:24:22 AM

Tannhauser: I think this weekend I'll finally watch the last few episodes and see how they get home


Spoiler Alert: it's stupid.
 
2013-11-27 08:30:29 AM

puckrock2000: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 325x396]

"Do not hug me."
"Sir, I protest; I am not a merry man!"
"You are an insulting pompous fool, and if you were not an ambassador I would disembowel you right here!"
"Nice hat."


"You are fully dilated, you may now deliver the baby."
 
2013-11-27 08:41:52 AM
"Excuse me... What does God need with a dildo?" (Offscreen: 'a starship!') "A starship, that's the line? Well that doesn't make any sense either!"
 
2013-11-27 09:15:36 AM

born_yesterday: Quick!  Someone show this guy Jeri Ryan's tits!

/Apparently worked on the rest of the viewers
//Pretty sure Berman's motto was LOL Star Trek


As a female I am immune to Tits of Borg and her ever tightening corset.  Now bring me a lubed Jason Carter (Marcus from B5) in the Chippendale outfit and I might be more liniment.

Seriously the worse that shows ratings got the tighter they laced Jeri.
 
2013-11-27 09:16:17 AM
All there comments, and not one  "Are you out of your Vulcan Mind!?!?"

No nerds in here.
 
2013-11-27 09:24:05 AM

Vaneshi: born_yesterday: Quick!  Someone show this guy Jeri Ryan's tits!

/Apparently worked on the rest of the viewers
//Pretty sure Berman's motto was LOL Star Trek

As a female I am immune to Tits of Borg and her ever tightening corset.  Now bring me a lubed Jason Carter (Marcus from B5) in the Chippendale outfit and I might be more liniment.

Seriously the worse that shows ratings got the tighter they laced Jeri.


See also Enterprise:  Uh oh, ratings are dropping!  Time for another oiled-up decontamination room scene!
 
2013-11-27 09:31:21 AM

born_yesterday: See also Enterprise:  Uh oh, ratings are dropping!  Time for another oiled-up decontamination room scene!


Pilot episode.  Transporters are mentioned now being human rated and certified for all uses, although the crew 'distrust' them.  That's the crew of a starship with a prototype and untested matter/anti-matter reactor at its heart... distrust a piece of technology that has more safety certificates than their ships own engine.

So a lot of those oiled up scenes they didn't need to do if the crew of the most advanced human made starship weren't complete technophobes.

And don't get me started on the time travelling alien Nazi's with laser shooting Stuka's.
 
2013-11-27 09:43:57 AM

born_yesterday: Quick! Someone show this guy Jeri Ryan's tits!


lh3.ggpht.com

Will this do?
 
2013-11-27 09:45:39 AM

Vaneshi: Pilot episode.  Transporters are mentioned now being human rated and certified for all uses, although the crew 'distrust' them.  That's the crew of a starship with a prototype and untested matter/anti-matter reactor at its heart... distrust a piece of technology that has more safety certificates than their ships own engine.


Yeah it sucks that they immediately had the transporter. In fact all their tech was too advanced.
 
2013-11-27 09:52:12 AM

Mugato: Vaneshi: Pilot episode.  Transporters are mentioned now being human rated and certified for all uses, although the crew 'distrust' them.  That's the crew of a starship with a prototype and untested matter/anti-matter reactor at its heart... distrust a piece of technology that has more safety certificates than their ships own engine.

Yeah it sucks that they immediately had the transporter. In fact all their tech was too advanced.



The transporter was always impossible. Roddenberry came up with it as a way of getting the actors to the "planet" sets without having to have shots of them getting into shuttles and flying to the surface. It saved time and money when the show was always short of both.
 
2013-11-27 09:53:26 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
"Data was available, I took him, we came"

/Just thought of that one a cpl days ago, after literally 20 years
//Can't seem to make the picture smaller
 
2013-11-27 10:00:10 AM

GRCooper: It wasn't a line, but it was pretty funny when Luke kissed his sister


i756.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-27 10:06:16 AM

Mugato: In fact all their tech was too advanced.


And too primitive at the same time. NX-01's computer didn't even have basic voice controls, a feature that is available on all top tier modern cell phones and considering it was designed to fight it lacked ablative armour, something you'd find on a lot of modern tanks.  It was also nothing more than an inverted Akira class, which the design team openly admitted so the ship looked way more advanced and Federation that it should of from the outset.

Then we come to Star Trek: Nemesis and the QuickShot Pro control column...  because yes a 4 axis 2 button joystick is a perfect control interface for something that can move freely in all 3 dimensions.
 
2013-11-27 10:16:38 AM

give me doughnuts: The transporter was always impossible. Roddenberry came up with it as a way of getting the actors to the "planet" sets without having to have shots of them getting into shuttles and flying to the surface. It saved time and money when the show was always short of both.


I don't know, teleportation may well be possible with a few unpleasant side effects such as for an instant there would be two of you; before the transmitting station literally killed the old you.  And there may be long term and cumulative degenerative side effects of being reassembled repeatedly due molecules not necessarily being put back where they should.

I admit there is a great deal of difference between teleporting a few photons and a complex organism but perhaps in 200 years or so someone would think of a way of doing it; not that I'd want to use it with out the scifi bollocks of the Heisenberg compensator you understand.

But yes the Trek transporter system was 'invented' because the shimmer effect was cheaper than building a shuttle set.  Hence Roddenberry wrote a specific episode that made use of the shuttle.
 
2013-11-27 10:29:23 AM

vudukungfu: All there comments, and not one  "Are you out of your Vulcan Mind!?!?"

No nerds in here.


Thank you!  I was looking for this one.  Not even a Trekkie and I still use this one all of the time.
 
2013-11-27 10:32:48 AM

fusillade762: "You became sexually aroused in my body!"

I'm not sure that one qualifies as "unintentionally" funny.


A lot of those "unintentionally funny" lines were intentional, though I'll admit some were funnier than others in practice.
 
2013-11-27 10:41:30 AM
3) "I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal." - TNG, "Sub Rosa"

Not funny. just creepy.
 
2013-11-27 10:46:33 AM
J.J. Abrams blinding lens flares are pretty funny lines.
 
2013-11-27 11:06:32 AM

Vaneshi: give me doughnuts: The transporter was always impossible. Roddenberry came up with it as a way of getting the actors to the "planet" sets without having to have shots of them getting into shuttles and flying to the surface. It saved time and money when the show was always short of both.

I don't know, teleportation may well be possible with a few unpleasant side effects such as for an instant there would be two of you; before the transmitting station literally killed the old you.  And there may be long term and cumulative degenerative side effects of being reassembled repeatedly due molecules not necessarily being put back where they should.

I admit there is a great deal of difference between teleporting a few photons and a complex organism but perhaps in 200 years or so someone would think of a way of doing it; not that I'd want to use it with out the scifi bollocks of the Heisenberg compensator you understand.



Tracking and cataloging the exact position and energy state of every elementary particle in a human body (a number rivaled by the number of stars in the Universe); converting all of that matter into energy (BOOOOOM!); transmitting it to another location (without melting the transmitter and antenna, or the spot where you want to reassemble); and then converting it back into (living) matter?

A recent study quoted by the National Institute of Health estimated that there are approximately 3.72 X 10^13 cells in an adult human body.
There are an estimated 10^14 atoms in each of those cells.

That's about 3.72 X 10^27 atoms (3,720,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000), each of which contains varying numbers of  protons, neutrons, and electrons. Each of which will need to have a few bits of RAM dedicated to remembering position, speed, spin, and energy level, etc.
 
2013-11-27 11:18:07 AM
give me doughnuts: ...  A recent study quoted by the National Institute of Health estimated that there are approximately 3.72 X 10^13 cells in an adult human body.There are an estimated 10^14 atoms in each of those cells.

That's about 3.72 X 10^27 atoms (3,720,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000), each of which contains varying numbers of  protons, neutrons, and electrons. Each of which will need to have a few bits of RAM dedicated to remembering position, speed, spin, and energy level, etc.


If I clear out some of my porn stash, I just might have enough space on my external drive.
 
2013-11-27 11:18:23 AM

Vaneshi: Then we come to Star Trek: Nemesis and the QuickShot Pro control column... because yes a 4 axis 2 button joystick is a perfect control interface for something that can move freely in all 3 dimensions.


www.ejectionsite.com
Seems to work OK. Just needs a twist rudder axis.

Not like ships in Star Trek obeyed the laws of physics to being with, they fly around like they are in an atmosphere all the time. Momentum and inertia, how the fark do they work?
 
2013-11-27 11:51:43 AM

Vaneshi: And too primitive at the same time. NX-01's computer didn't even have basic voice controls, a feature that is available on all top tier modern cell phones and considering it was designed to fight it lacked ablative armour, something you'd find on a lot of modern tanks.  It was also nothing more than an inverted Akira class, which the design team openly admitted so the ship looked way more advanced and Federation that it should of from the outset.


No.They.Did.Not. One designer even posted an aircraft carrier from 1940 with its 2000-era counterpart, with many of the same exact design points as an example of basic designs that last for decades.
As for controls, they were trying to not be too advanced because it was a prequel to TOS.

Then we come to Star Trek: Nemesis and the QuickShot Pro control column...  because yes a 4 axis 2 button joystick is a perfect control interface for something that can move freely in all 3 dimensions.

That was Insurrection.
Nemesis had the dune buggy.
 
2013-11-27 12:48:23 PM
I once handed our office IT guy an old, malfunctioning Bberry for inspection before requesting a replacement.  He fiddled with it awhile then looked up at me with a grim expression and said, "She's dead, Jim."

Which instantly made that my favorite ST line.
 
2013-11-27 12:50:34 PM

SoupJohnB: I once handed our office IT guy an old, malfunctioning Bberry for inspection before requesting a replacement.  He fiddled with it awhile then looked up at me with a grim expression and said, "She's dead, Jim."

Which instantly made that my favorite ST line.

Meant to say, my name ain't 'Jim.'

 
2013-11-27 12:54:59 PM

give me doughnuts: The transporter was always impossible. Roddenberry came up with it as a way of getting the actors to the "planet" sets without having to have shots of them getting into shuttles and flying to the surface. It saved time and money when the show was always short of both.


I heard they couldn't afford a shuttelcraft in the first season. I don't think it as an issue of time. They could easily cut from the shuttle bay to the planet without a detailed travel log of their journey. Instead they have a goofy plot device that really doesn't make much sense. At the very least they could have found a way to weaponize it beyond the one time in that one V'ger episode.

Vaneshi: teleportation may well be possible with a few unpleasant side effects such as for an instant there would be two of you; before the transmitting station literally killed the old you.


I think that would be a deal breaker, you're literally committing suicide every time you want to get somewhere without a shuttle. And just like using the transporter as a weapon, they only used it to cure a disease once before forgetting about it.

The reboot could have fixed a lot of this but didn't.
 
2013-11-27 01:18:25 PM
peterthx:

No.They.Did.Not.

They can be quoted as saying fans of the Akira are going to love the NX-01.   It's an upside down Akira with some very minor tinkering.

And yes it's a prequel to TOS... with instrumentation that is more primitive than people have on their desks currently.
 
2013-11-27 01:19:48 PM

Gleeman: Not like ships in Star Trek obeyed the laws of physics to being with, they fly around like they are in an atmosphere all the time. Momentum and inertia, how the fark do they work?


Depends which Star Trek you're talking about. It wasn't until DS9 that we ever saw a star-ship swoop. Prior to that, they mostly behaved like naval ships. "Balance of Terror" (easily the most thrilling TOS episode) treated them like submarines.
 
2013-11-27 01:45:41 PM

Mugato: give me doughnuts: The transporter was always impossible. Roddenberry came up with it as a way of getting the actors to the "planet" sets without having to have shots of them getting into shuttles and flying to the surface. It saved time and money when the show was always short of both.

I heard they couldn't afford a shuttelcraft in the first season. I don't think it as an issue of time. They could easily cut from the shuttle bay to the planet without a detailed travel log of their journey. Instead they have a goofy plot device that really doesn't make much sense. At the very least they could have found a way to weaponize it beyond the one time in that one V'ger episode.

Vaneshi: teleportation may well be possible with a few unpleasant side effects such as for an instant there would be two of you; before the transmitting station literally killed the old you.

I think that would be a deal breaker, you're literally committing suicide every time you want to get somewhere without a shuttle. And just like using the transporter as a weapon, they only used it to cure a disease once before forgetting about it.

The reboot could have fixed a lot of this but didn't.


They had a shuttlecract in the first season and an episode all about it - "The Galileo Seven." The reason given and generally accepted is that showing a ship of any kind landing on a different planet every week was incredibly expensive.  We never actually saw the shuttlecraft land in any episode it was featured in.

This had nothing to do with the time it took to show the crew boarding a shuttlecraft.  Many episodes used the turbolift to allow time to use in exposition before beaming down - these scenes could easily have been used for boarding and flying if that was the case.

(In LOST IN SPACE, which I do like quite a bit, they showed the Jupiter-2 and their Space Pod landing a few times, but because of the re-use of SFX in the day, they were only shown occasionally).

The transporters were incredibly cost-effective.  They didn't even have to show the crew beaming both off and on - just have them go to the platform, then shift over to the controls, then jump to the planet for the beam in.
 
2013-11-27 02:09:14 PM

COMALite J: So, why didn't Voyager go home right then and there!? They could easily have Warp 10ed to Deep Space Nine or some Starbase, then beamed everyone aboard, restoring their molecular backups (making one shortly prior to Warp 10 just to be safe and to have the most recent version) in the process!


I'm sure lots of other people noticed this, just as I did, but it's curiously refreshing to see it in print. Thank you. Together, we survivors can overcome the psychological horror of the suckfest that was  Voyager.
 
2013-11-27 03:06:59 PM
Star Trek... not a funny show.
 
2013-11-27 03:24:23 PM

t3knomanser: Depends which Star Trek you're talking about. It wasn't until DS9 that we ever saw a star-ship swoop. Prior to that, they mostly behaved like naval ships. "Balance of Terror" (easily the most thrilling TOS episode) treated them like submarines.


This was a limitation of how the effects were created giving rise to an art style more than anything.  You have a sculpted model on a gimble.  There are only so many directions it can move in at once without resetting and even moving to a different model with a different mount point.

The cut over to CGI is most apparent in Voyager of all places, the season 3 opened with Species 8473 (or was it S4?) Voyager moves smoothly through all 3 axis to avoid incoming fire whilst the nacelle animation plays. That was not something that could of been done with a model.  The downside of CGI, that everything tends to look shiny and new, works to the benefit of Star Trek as Federation ships are somewhat uniform white.

Unfortunately they never really show that sort of manoeuvrability again.
 
2013-11-27 03:24:59 PM
8472 bah.
 
2013-11-27 03:57:10 PM

OnlyM3: BATMANATEE: Mugato: BATMANATEE: You've forgotten the 1937 Ford half-ton that starts on the first try after floating in space for 200 years.
.. and when it starts, it backfires startling Tuvok(sp?) the highly trained tactical officer, causing to look behind him then up to the ceiling.

If you can't tell a noise came from in front and below you, perhaps you shouldn't be a tactical officer.

// Welcome to the idiocy that is... Voyager.


SF Debris' Star Trek reviews are a highlight of my Saturdays
 
2013-11-27 06:14:14 PM
Slightly off topic, but does JJ Abrams remind anybody else of Joel Fleischman from Northern Exposure?
 
2013-11-27 06:24:44 PM

t3knomanser: Gleeman: Not like ships in Star Trek obeyed the laws of physics to being with, they fly around like they are in an atmosphere all the time. Momentum and inertia, how the fark do they work?

Depends which Star Trek you're talking about. It wasn't until DS9 that we ever saw a star-ship swoop. Prior to that, they mostly behaved like naval ships. "Balance of Terror" (easily the most thrilling TOS episode) treated them like submarines.


Almost forgot that episode. The conversation also reminds me of Star Wars, space combat in those 3 films were basically WW2 aerial battles set in space.


But they almost always get a pass from fans, because Star Wars...

Currently skipping through DS9 on Netflix, one thing that bugs me about that show is how shield effectiveness is so arbitrary. Just about every significant battle has early direct hits on the runabouts or station regardless of shield status, basically the Worf Effect on all the equipment in the show. The JemHadar weapons can find our shield frequency? "Oh no we have to rotate shield frequency!" Apparently everyone in Star Fleet completely forgot anything they learned fighting the Borg...never mind the idea of shields having a frequency...or shields for that matter.

They also did away with the NextGen spherical shield scattering the phasers effect, which was disappointing.
 
2013-11-27 06:33:53 PM

Vaneshi: COMALite J: dithering idiots

And that's why the whole series is known as "Kathy can't drive".  The show is a mess from start to finish, in the same episode with the floating space truck you have the Helmsman state a speed for the ship... which may or may not be accurate compared to other in universe fluff:

1.  Nobody corrects him, nobody even looks surprised at him over stating the ships capabilities, its implied he is correct.
2. That speed puts Voyager less than 10 years from Sol.

Voyager is a deep space long rage scout, it's top of the line and fully stocked for an extended cruise, the Federation are well aware and make use of stasis systems.  Federation technology is exceptionally reliable.   At no point does Kathy throw everyone in to stasis pods and let the computer drive them home at max speed.   The Borg would of ignored it, the Kazon and others wouldn't of been able to catch it. And anything it couldn't outrun the computer could of nailed to the wall with vastly superior, Federation, weapons of which it had lots..

At a few points they state their location, they are moving AWAY FROM not towards Sol.

Speaking of the Borg, the queen is demonstrated to be exceptionally capricious, easily angered and not very bright.  Janeway simply needed to tell her directly that the Kazon thought they could take the Borg (i.e. lie) and let the fireworks happen whilst she legged it. Hell the queen would of probably had that sphere TOW the ship through the transwarp network in exchange for all those new people to 'help towards perfection'.

If that show had a bible, a big document that writers had to refer to in order to make the show consistent, it had only these words in it "LOL Star Trek".


That was beautiful, man.
 
2013-11-27 08:50:58 PM
My favorite Trek quote is from ToS:

'Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers, that smell bad'
  - Spock

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlMegqgGORY

END COMMUNICATION
 
2013-11-28 01:04:24 AM
This is a deleted scene.

Spocks Brain. McCoy is "piloting" spock's body with his laughable remote. Nimoy is doing that zombie walk but his sleeve snags a branch just enough to throw his stride slightly.

Doohan, re the automation device, ad libs: I think she pulls to one side, doctor.

// I am the Croesus of nerd points.
 
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