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(Fox 5 Las Vegas)   As God as my witness, I didn't know turkeys could write citations for $324 for crosswalk violations   (fox5vegas.com) divider line 20
    More: Amusing, crosswalk violations, North Las Vegas, Nevada Highway Patrol, crosswalks, Las Vegas Metro, Clark County School District, Martin Luther King Boulevard  
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2497 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2013 at 2:18 PM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



20 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-26 01:37:43 PM
WOOT!!!!!!

/100 greenlights.....subby.
 
2013-11-26 01:59:43 PM

ChipNASA: WOOT!!!!!!

/100 greenlights.....subby.


Your profile says 101.  What gives?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-11-26 02:11:40 PM
Running over a turkey is hunting without a license, not murder like it would be if you ran over a cop.
 
2013-11-26 02:19:53 PM
This is not an Onion article?
 
2013-11-26 02:20:44 PM
If you're so out of it that you don't notice a giant turkey in the road then you really deserve a ticket.
 
2013-11-26 02:35:02 PM
If it takes you a football field to react and stop while going 40mph you either shouldn't be driving or you're actually driving a train.
 
2013-11-26 02:37:13 PM
I know Farkers say "As God as my witness..." but isn't the line "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"?
 
2013-11-26 02:42:19 PM

blatz514: ChipNASA: WOOT!!!!!!

/100 greenlights.....subby.

Your profile says 101.  What gives?


I got 2 in the last hour or so.
 
2013-11-26 02:43:27 PM

gsiofa: I know Farkers say "As God as my witness..." but isn't the line "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"?


It is As God As.....I know that it's been written both ways but I watched the video before I posted this...just to make sure.
 
2013-11-26 02:45:56 PM
I've called them pigs and chickens, but never turkeys.
 
2013-11-26 02:49:15 PM

ChipNASA: gsiofa: I know Farkers say "As God as my witness..." but isn't the line "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"?

It is As God As.....I know that it's been written both ways but I watched the video before I posted this...just to make sure.


I swear I watched it before I asked, and heard "As God is," even though the YouTube submitter quotes it your way. Might as well try to find the  actual lyrics to the closing credits theme music.
 
2013-11-26 02:54:01 PM

ChipNASA: blatz514: ChipNASA: WOOT!!!!!!

/100 greenlights.....subby.

Your profile says 101.  What gives?

I got 2 in the last hour or so.


2 within an hour?  I thought getting 2 in a week was unheard of.

/submitted about 4 today
//hit every red light.
///really thought the black widow and grapes story was a lock
 
2013-11-26 02:57:37 PM

gsiofa: ChipNASA: gsiofa: I know Farkers say "As God as my witness..." but isn't the line "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"?

It is As God As.....I know that it's been written both ways but I watched the video before I posted this...just to make sure.

I swear I watched it before I asked, and heard "As God is," even though the YouTube submitter quotes it your way. Might as well try to find the  actual lyrics to the closing credits theme music.


I stand corrected.....the official statement from the guy who wrote it....

http://classictvhistory.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/turkeys-away-an-ora l- history/

MAX TASH: I thought the funniest lines were happening because the audience was imagining what was happening.  You never saw turkeys thrown out - you only saw how it was being described.  You saw the aftermath when Carlson comes in with feathers in his hair.  So the funniest laughs were in the audience's imagination.
Finally, Arthur Carlson re-emerges from his office, and utters the ten lines that would immortalize "Turkeys Away."
GARY SANDY: The famous line from that show, "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly," is famous because, at the moment - and it's like it was yesterday, I can see it - the genius of Hugh Wilson and Gordon Jump came together.  Gordon Jump was one of the nicest men that ever lived, really, he truly was, and I think his humanity, who the man was - he got by with a lot of stuff because he was just a great human being.  Gordon Jump was a very religious guy, so somehow or another "as God is my witness" is coupled with all that.
HUGH WILSON: Yeah, I wrote that.  That was from my mother.  She was always using God as her witness.  "As God is my witness, I have never in my life seen a boy," etc., etc.  [I was] an only child who got caught for everything.  I mean everything.  I have five children, so I never really know who did what, but when you're an only child, you're screwed.
Jump does not utter the "As God is my witness..." line until after the end credits have begun to appear.
 
2013-11-26 02:59:12 PM

blatz514: ChipNASA: blatz514: ChipNASA: WOOT!!!!!!

/100 greenlights.....subby.

Your profile says 101.  What gives?

I got 2 in the last hour or so.

2 within an hour?  I thought getting 2 in a week was unheard of.

/submitted about 4 today
//hit every red light.
///really thought the black widow and grapes story was a lock


Oh I totally get you.......in the ten years I've been here I've had 2 or 3 in one day a couple of times but it's quite rare.

I've also gone *MONTHS* without any greens and I usually submit 5 or 6 a day or more....but sometimes less.....it's an average.
 
2013-11-26 03:04:21 PM

ChipNASA: gsiofa: ChipNASA: gsiofa: I know Farkers say "As God as my witness..." but isn't the line "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"?

It is As God As.....I know that it's been written both ways but I watched the video before I posted this...just to make sure.

I swear I watched it before I asked, and heard "As God is," even though the YouTube submitter quotes it your way. Might as well try to find the  actual lyrics to the closing credits theme music.

I stand corrected.....the official statement from the guy who wrote it....

http://classictvhistory.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/turkeys-away-an-ora l- history/

MAX TASH: I thought the funniest lines were happening because the audience was imagining what was happening.  You never saw turkeys thrown out - you only saw how it was being described.  You saw the aftermath when Carlson comes in with feathers in his hair.  So the funniest laughs were in the audience's imagination.
Finally, Arthur Carlson re-emerges from his office, and utters the ten lines that would immortalize "Turkeys Away."
GARY SANDY: The famous line from that show, "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly," is famous because, at the moment - and it's like it was yesterday, I can see it - the genius of Hugh Wilson and Gordon Jump came together.  Gordon Jump was one of the nicest men that ever lived, really, he truly was, and I think his humanity, who the man was - he got by with a lot of stuff because he was just a great human being.  Gordon Jump was a very religious guy, so somehow or another "as God is my witness" is coupled with all that.
HUGH WILSON: Yeah, I wrote that.  That was from my mother.  She was always using God as her witness.  "As God is my witness, I have never in my life seen a boy," etc., etc.  [I was] an only child who got caught for everything.  I mean everything.  I have five children, so I never really know who did what, but when you're an only child, you're screwed.
Jump does not utter the "As God is my witness... ...


Great find! To you, I say good day, and may the good news be yours.
 
2013-11-26 03:04:59 PM

ChipNASA: blatz514: ChipNASA: blatz514: ChipNASA: WOOT!!!!!!

/100 greenlights.....subby.

Your profile says 101.  What gives?

I got 2 in the last hour or so.

2 within an hour?  I thought getting 2 in a week was unheard of.

/submitted about 4 today
//hit every red light.
///really thought the black widow and grapes story was a lock

Oh I totally get you.......in the ten years I've been here I've had 2 or 3 in one day a couple of times but it's quite rare.

I've also gone *MONTHS* without any greens and I usually submit 5 or 6 a day or more....but sometimes less.....it's an average.


I do like looking through the local news sites and finding the wacky.  Good way to start my work day.  But getting greened is always a bonus.
 
2013-11-26 03:29:55 PM
I wonder if turkey duty is a punishment for the cops doing it? It has to be pretty humiliating to have to wear that costume.
 
2013-11-26 03:43:03 PM
Traveling at 40 mph it takes almost a football field's length to react and stop a standard vehicle.

No the fark it doesn't. A stock C6 Corvette goes 60-0 in just over a hundred feet (119 ft.). 2003-2006 Honda Accord 60-0 distance is 127 feet. A 2011 Toyota Tundra 60-0 distance is 134 feet. And these are 60-0 distances, not 40-0. Stop perpetuating this lie.
 
2013-11-26 04:21:53 PM
You're correct subby. The turkeys don't write the tickets. The uniformed officer sitting in his cruiser halfway up the block writes the ticket.
 
2013-11-26 06:21:06 PM
Surprised no one commented on the absurdity of a 324$  minimum ticket for this infraction.  That whole "excessive fines" nonsense was just a suggestion like the rest of them I guess.

Also, look where they are doing this.  In one of the poorest areas in the city.  Not around the strip where a lot of the (probably DUI related) fatalities have probably happened.  Added bonus is that is an unlit  6 lane intersection.  SO they are giving the poorest people in the city a fine that probably equals a weeks pay+ for failing to stop for a chicken standing on a corner ~40 feet away.
 
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