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(Daily Express)   Married couples having less sex than ever, proving that marriage is all about finding someone you can learn to hate and buying them a house   (express.co.uk ) divider line
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4271 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2013 at 12:50 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-26 11:24:02 AM  
Uh....no.

/married
/house
/bang bang time all the time
/ :-)
 
2013-11-26 12:16:06 PM  
OOOHHH SCIENCE!

My dad didnt have to do a study to tell me this years ago. "Son if you want to have a sex life dont put a ring on her finger. Just live together forever its easier that way"

I should have listened to him :/
 
2013-11-26 12:52:22 PM  
With each other, or overall?
 
2013-11-26 12:53:53 PM  
6 times a month?  Who are these stallions?
 
2013-11-26 12:54:44 PM  
Ew.  This is about British people.  They shouldn't have been having sex in the first place.  Gross!
 
2013-11-26 12:57:42 PM  
50%-75% of our days together culminate in sex and would be 100% if it weren't for the both of us getting outright trashed on 2 of them.  Either I get WD or she gets WV on at least one of those occasions.
 
2013-11-26 12:57:46 PM  
Got to throw the BS flag on this one. They are having the same amount of sex, they are just alone at the time and taking the situation in hand while surfing porn.
 
2013-11-26 12:58:22 PM  
6 times a month? No wonder she left you.

You gotta hit it early and often. The 24 hour O-Glow.
 
2013-11-26 12:59:02 PM  

Bruce Campbell: she gets WV


no such thing.
 
2013-11-26 01:00:04 PM  

Bruce Campbell: 50%-75% of our days together culminate in sex and would be 100% if it weren't for the both of us getting outright trashed on 2 of them.  Either I get WD or she gets WV on at least one of those occasions.


It's never worth getting West Virginia.
 
2013-11-26 01:00:17 PM  
Well... i did get married, been over a year - and while she was a bit dress-up-wild beforehand..

...it's nice that i get to work my ass off and generally be thoroughly unromantic (sometimes anyway, we both work really hard) but that sweet, slow love's still on the table

/or under it
//dressy play time's just asleep... look at that beautiful plumage!
 
2013-11-26 01:00:35 PM  

frepnog: Bruce Campbell: she gets WV

no such thing.


No, for reals, it's right there.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-11-26 01:01:16 PM  
fc09.deviantart.net
 
2013-11-26 01:01:22 PM  

Bruce Campbell: or she gets WV ....


Perhaps you could expound on this point a bit? Inquiring minds...
 
2013-11-26 01:01:23 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: Ew.  This is about British people.  They shouldn't have been having sex in the first place.  Gross!


s16.postimg.org
 
2013-11-26 01:01:41 PM  
My wife and I are in our 40s and have been together for 23 years (3 yrs bf/gf, 20 yrs marriage). Certainly the frequency of sex has trailed off, but honestly I wouldn't want to do it every day anymore anyway. We are both in good shape and have a great time when we do it, but it's just not the most important thing in our lives anymore.
I don't think there's necessarily a 'problem' when people that have been together for decades aren't doing it like rabbits.
Once or twice a week is more than enough for me...with the occasional binge, of course.
 
2013-11-26 01:03:50 PM  
One of the reasons why I haven't gotten a girlfriend/wife so far. I've read, heard and seen too many ugly divorces and breakups. And from what I've heard, the family court and child custody part is the fiery acid on the cake. Slow, slow and painful acid.
 
2013-11-26 01:03:55 PM  

joonyer: Bruce Campbell: or she gets WV ....

Perhaps you could expound on this point a bit? Inquiring minds...


I think he means the back of a Volkswagen.
 
2013-11-26 01:08:07 PM  

mainstreet62: Uh....no.

/married
/house
/bang bang time all the time
/ :-)


Just wait until the second week of marriage starts.
 
2013-11-26 01:11:38 PM  
Marriage means you can't go home after and be alone.

I'll keep my friend with benefits.
 
2013-11-26 01:12:15 PM  
Just wait until the second week of marriage starts.
 
2013-11-26 01:14:10 PM  

theBigBigEye: One of the reasons why I haven't gotten a girlfriend/wife so far. I've read, heard and seen too many ugly divorces and breakups. And from what I've heard, the family court and child custody part is the fiery acid on the cake. Slow, slow and painful acid.


Other than maybe in an obituary or hearing of someone marrying someone filthy rich, you will almost never read, hear, or see any eye popping reasons for marriage.  The benefits are very boring - someone takes care of responsibilities for the other/both/all.  That's about as exciting as it gets.
The eyepopping reasons against it are usually volatile, as you've mentioned.  Really, unless you think you can coexist with someone in marriage by arming yourselves to the teeth and declaring war on your neighborhood and taking complementary fighting roles, there's not going to be very much story worthy activity as a result of codependent marriage.
 
2013-11-26 01:14:35 PM  

EyeballKid: frepnog: Bruce Campbell: she gets WV

no such thing.

No, for reals, it's right there.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 300x212]


Funny enough, that's where the wife and I got married. We got hitched at Class-VI (Now Adventures on the Gorge) as they have a beautiful timber frame open-air restaurant and really damned good food as well as a nice deck on the rim of the gorget to get married on. But I digress. The night before the nuptials, I went to the local dive bar as it was the only place that was open that time of year that served hard liquor. Walked in with some friends including one who had never been to that part of WV before when he speaks up and says "Hey! I think I know those guys!" Sure enough, two guys sitting at the bar were acquaintances of his from when they were working as contractors on the Reagan National Airport expansion some time ago. Turns out these two guys (let's call them Bubba and Big Wes) were in there celebrating Big Wes' divorce being finalized that very day. They ask my buddy what we're doing there and he lets on that I'm getting married the next day. That's when, at the top of his lungs, Big Wes shouts "Married! Who in the hell in here is getting MARRIED?!?" That's when I found out that I truly have no friends as those that were supposed to be said friends parted like the red sea and pointed to me as the bar goes silent. Big Wes clomps on over, rather unsteadily, with beer in hand, grabs me by the front of my collar and yanks me close so I'm eye to eye with him. That's when he says, "Son, why in the HELL are you gitt'n married? Tell you what, here's what you need to do. Find yourself a woman you HATE. Give her half your shiat and buy her a car and a condo in Florida. It's the same got-damned thang!"

At that point I mentioned that I loved my wife and we'd both declared that divorce was not an option in front of legal counsel, etc. By the end of the night, he was wishing me well, telling me how love is a beautiful thing through some pretty serious tears, and declaring that by gawd, he was born in these hills and he was going to die in these hills.

The only other thing I remember from that night is that shots of Grand Marnier were like $3.50/ea which is a steal if there ever was one.
 
2013-11-26 01:16:42 PM  
All of you married people who claim to be banging it out multiple times a week, I hate you, I hate you all.

I'm lucky if the wife puts out once a month. She tells me she has no interest, and between work and the kids, no energy.

And no, I've not let myself go, yes, I make sure to take my time and that she gets off, and yes, I help out with the kids, housework, etc.
 
2013-11-26 01:17:52 PM  

CleanAndPure: mainstreet62: Uh....no.

/married
/house
/bang bang time all the time
/ :-)

Just wait until the second week of marriage starts.


/this
 
2013-11-26 01:19:52 PM  

CleanAndPure: mainstreet62: Uh....no.

/married
/house
/bang bang time all the time
/ :-)

Just wait until the second week of marriage starts.


"Not tonight, you're tired."
 
2013-11-26 01:19:58 PM  
Old joke: the 3 stages of sex

Honeymoon Sex - fark every day
Maintenance Sex - fark to keep it all moving
Hallway Sex- where you pass each other in the hall and go "Fark You!"
 
2013-11-26 01:20:28 PM  

BigBooper: All of you married people who claim to be banging it out multiple times a week, I hate you, I hate you all.

I'm lucky if the wife puts out once a month. She tells me she has no interest, and between work and the kids, no energy.

And no, I've not let myself go, yes, I make sure to take my time and that she gets off, and yes, I help out with the kids, housework, etc.


Time to let her know that you have needs that need to get taken care of.  Either at home or elsewhere, her choice.

/Married
//Very satisfied at home, thank god
 
2013-11-26 01:20:33 PM  
I can't imagine having kids with someone outside of marriage, just because you're already making what amounts to a lifetime commitment of dealing with that person in your life and you might as well get some legal protection with that.

But until it's breeding time? I'm definitely ok with a boyfriend who pays me rent to live in my condo with me.  All of the benefits and none of the real risk.  We don't go in on purchases together (I buy anything permanently affixed to the condo, and he's free to take anything he buys with him if he leaves) and we don't have shared accounts so there's no stress about what he chooses to do with his money, as long as the rent check clears.

I wish to god I'd just stayed live-in bf/gf with my ex husband, so I wouldn't have been screwed out of half of my assets when I divorced the unemployed bum.  At least he didn't push for alimony....
 
2013-11-26 01:21:23 PM  
Hmmm... I'm only engaged and we have had sex twice this year. I think I should be concerned.
 
2013-11-26 01:22:11 PM  

joonyer: Bruce Campbell: or she gets WV ....

Perhaps you could expound on this point a bit? Inquiring minds...


Where she gets so drunk that she can't achieve orgasm.  In such circumstances, I could give her oral for an hour and she'd be no closer than she was after about 10 minutes, or bang away for more than an hour and at the end of it she ends up with nothing other than rawness and it puts her vag on IR for a few days.  I'd rather take a pass and get her on the next day rather than put her, and me, through that.  Lesson learned after years of experience with her that it's pointless and results in delayed future sex and often blue balls from a delayed opportunity to complete the task for me.
 
2013-11-26 01:24:56 PM  

NuclearPenguins: Hmmm... I'm only engaged and we have had sex twice this year. I think I should be concerned.


Is this one of those sympathy marriages, where one of you wants to be married before the cancer takes over? If it's not, you should be concerned.
 
2013-11-26 01:25:10 PM  

Bruce Campbell: joonyer: Bruce Campbell: or she gets WV ....

Perhaps you could expound on this point a bit? Inquiring minds...

Where she gets so drunk that she can't achieve orgasm.  In such circumstances, I could give her oral for an hour and she'd be no closer than she was after about 10 minutes, or bang away for more than an hour and at the end of it she ends up with nothing other than rawness and it puts her vag on IR for a few days.  I'd rather take a pass and get her on the next day rather than put her, and me, through that.  Lesson learned after years of experience with her that it's pointless and results in delayed future sex and often blue balls from a delayed opportunity to complete the task for me.


Whiskey Vag!  Now I get it ...
 
2013-11-26 01:27:33 PM  
 It's the Brits so it doesn't count. The actual reason is that their women are stiffer than the Buckingham Palace Guards.
 
2013-11-26 01:28:02 PM  

mjjt: Old joke: the 3 stages of sex

Honeymoon Sex - fark every day
Maintenance Sex - fark to keep it all moving
Hallway Sex- where you pass each other in the hall and go "Fark You!"


Now in stage 3.  Oh and also had the lovely benefit of having the Mrs tell our second child that she only wanted one kid.
 
2013-11-26 01:29:10 PM  

mainstreet62: Uh....no.

/married
/house
/bang bang time all the time
/ :-)


So no kids then?
 
2013-11-26 01:29:18 PM  

Bruce Campbell: joonyer: Bruce Campbell: or she gets WV ....

Perhaps you could expound on this point a bit? Inquiring minds...

Where she gets so drunk that she can't achieve orgasm.  In such circumstances, I could give her oral for an hour and she'd be no closer than she was after about 10 minutes, or bang away for more than an hour and at the end of it she ends up with nothing other than rawness and it puts her vag on IR for a few days.  I'd rather take a pass and get her on the next day rather than put her, and me, through that.  Lesson learned after years of experience with her that it's pointless and results in delayed future sex and often blue balls from a delayed opportunity to complete the task for me.


PROTIP -

stop getting farking drunk.

seriously.
 
2013-11-26 01:31:42 PM  

NuclearPenguins: Hmmm... I'm only engaged and we have had sex twice this year. I think I should be concerned.


Actually, you shouldn't be concerned. You should leave, now, while you still can. It will never, ever improve. It will only get worse.  Move out, leave a note, run far away.
 
2013-11-26 01:38:15 PM  
That's because you don't have all the sex upfront while you're dating. You space it out. You make it something that's important to do, instead of a new toy you use up and get tired of after a while. Plus marrying someone you actually like and want to be around helps. Most farkers didn't get the memo on that part.
 
2013-11-26 01:39:46 PM  
Honestly, it wasn't getting married.  It was having kids.
 
2013-11-26 01:40:17 PM  

verbaltoxin: That's because you don't have all the sex upfront while you're dating. You space it out. You make it something that's important to do, instead of a new toy you use up and get tired of after a while. Plus marrying someone you actually like and want to be around helps. Most farkers didn't get the memo on that part. don't like other people.


I fixed that for you.
 
2013-11-26 01:42:32 PM  

NuclearPenguins: Hmmm... I'm only engaged and we have had sex twice this year. I think I should be concerned.


Then you need couple's therapy and possibly sex therapy. And if one of you doesn't see a problem and is resistant to seeking help...GTFO. You can't have a marriage where one person lives in denial of the issue and the other builds resentment over it. Trust me, all the divorced farkers will come out of the woodwork to tell you this.
 
2013-11-26 01:42:40 PM  

BigBooper: All of you married people who claim to be banging it out multiple times a week, I hate you, I hate you all.

I'm lucky if the wife puts out once a month. She tells me she has no interest, and between work and the kids, no energy.

And no, I've not let myself go, yes, I make sure to take my time and that she gets off, and yes, I help out with the kids, housework, etc.


It's not a big mystery why she's not putting out.  It can be summed up in two words..."work" and "kids."  If it makes you feel any better, she's probably not feeling too happy about not wanting sex as often as she used to.
 
2013-11-26 01:44:06 PM  

meanmutton: Honestly, it wasn't getting married.  It was having kids.


nail on the head.
 
2013-11-26 01:47:08 PM  

BigBooper: All of you married people who claim to be banging it out multiple times a week, I hate you, I hate you all.

I'm lucky if the wife puts out once a month. She tells me she has no interest, and between work and the kids, no energy.

And no, I've not let myself go, yes, I make sure to take my time and that she gets off, and yes, I help out with the kids, housework, etc.



Is she unaware that you're just as tired?  If you're working, cooking, cleaning, caring etc. then the argument can't be that she puts in more hours.  The only way to sort this situation out is to talk to her, and I'd advise not going straight in with the ultimatum about your needs being met at home and if not there then elsewhere.  If this is a long-standing decline then the answer is she has to make the effort, despite being tired.  If you make the effort then the next time becomes better, and the next, and the next, until you find that it's not actually effort anymore and you start to enjoy each other again.

However, if her libido just disappeared suddenly then there might be a different problem, maybe hormonal?  Is she going through menopause?

My wife and I had the same problem, I had a nut lopped off (fark you cancer) and she was starting pregnancy at the time.  It took a long time for me to recover and even feel interested, until well after the birth when we were both exhausted as well.  I even had testosterone levels checked to see if that was the problem.  We talked about it and couldn't find a reason, just that we rarely felt like it and even more rarely at the same time, so we endeavoured to make the effort.  It took a while but now we're enjoying having sex again so we do it more.  She has to meet you halfway here and the real question you might be forced to ask is why does she view saving your marriage as too much effort?

Hope it gets better for you.
 
2013-11-26 01:48:55 PM  

Attention Whore of Babylon: BigBooper: All of you married people who claim to be banging it out multiple times a week, I hate you, I hate you all.

I'm lucky if the wife puts out once a month. She tells me she has no interest, and between work and the kids, no energy.

And no, I've not let myself go, yes, I make sure to take my time and that she gets off, and yes, I help out with the kids, housework, etc.

It's not a big mystery why she's not putting out.  It can be summed up in two words..."work" and "kids."  If it makes you feel any better, she's probably not feeling too happy about not wanting sex as often as she used to.


Yep. Actually having a chat about this stuff, without arguing or judging, just talking and listening, sometimes helps go a long way towards the neglected sex life. Others do need to get counseling though and work it through.
 
2013-11-26 01:50:14 PM  
Does this take into account married people are getting older, as is every other niche measurement of humanity?

The aging baby boom will change everything.
 
2013-11-26 01:51:53 PM  

dready zim: meanmutton: Honestly, it wasn't getting married.  It was having kids.

nail on the head.


this, indeed.
 
2013-11-26 02:04:37 PM  

frepnog: PROTIP -

stop getting farking drunk.

seriously.


Why?  We are having fun together and are 13+ years in to a very happy marriage.  Honestly, I couldn't contemplate changing a damn thing about our relationship and she has said exactly the same thing to me.

PROTIP--Stop thinking you farking know what advice to give people you don't know.   Seriously.
 
2013-11-26 02:05:31 PM  

NuclearPenguins: Hmmm... I'm only engaged and we have had sex twice this year. I think I should be concerned.


Deal with this before you get married.
 
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