Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   Black widow found in supermarket produce aisle, probably would have more success on Match.com   ( huffingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Scary, South Lakes Wild Animal Park, Taronga Zoo, WXYZ-TV, hourglass, World Cup 2010, Wauwatosa, venomous spiders, North African Ostrich  
•       •       •

1963 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2013 at 11:42 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-26 11:44:25 AM  
Online dating headline trifecta complete. Kind of a stretch on the last one, though.

Black widow found in supermarket produce aisle, would have more success on Match.com

Apparently the photos that come with online dating profiles aren't always a perfect match

International dating website calls Britain "the least attractive country in the world"
 
2013-11-26 11:46:52 AM  
Finding a Black Widow is not always a bad thing.

x.annihil.us
 
2013-11-26 11:47:11 AM  
The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings
 
2013-11-26 11:48:08 AM  
Damn, it's a bad week for buying grapes of you're name is Yvonne
 
2013-11-26 11:50:53 AM  
Stop looking at me, lady.  I'm just buying grapes.  Oh for god's sake you just purposely took a deli number right after me to try and start up a conversation and who in the hell is going to eat 2 pounds of smoked turkey?  Arggh, what the furious f*ck, lady, you just bit me.  What is wrong with you?
/Tuesdays at Stop & Shop
 
2013-11-26 11:54:45 AM  

karnal: The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings


Spiders don't have stingers.

/yes, you can color me as "insufferable douche"
 
2013-11-26 12:03:04 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Damn, it's a bad week for buying grapes of you're name is Yvonne


Or Bjork . Pick N Save pulled its grapes after Oconomowoc woman found a black widow in grapes bought at Pabst Farms
 
2013-11-26 12:03:57 PM  
Isn't this part of the reason for washing the fruit?  "Oh hey a spider, oh hey it's going down the drain now.  I'll now eat these tasty spider free grapes."
 
2013-11-26 12:08:52 PM  

a_room_with_a_moose: karnal: The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings

Spiders don't have stingers.

/yes, you can color me as "insufferable douche"


"You're a Douche, but quite sufferable"
static.guim.co.uk
 
2013-11-26 12:18:27 PM  

karnal: a_room_with_a_moose: karnal: The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings

Spiders don't have stingers.

/yes, you can color me as "insufferable douche"

"You're a Douche, but quite sufferable"


My officemates are wondering why I just sprayed coffee all over the breakroom table.

Well played, well played.
 
2013-11-26 12:38:36 PM  
Uncool spider story

I was preparing to wash grapes in a colander in the sink. I turned on the water and started spraying away and a huge, seriously huge brown, hairy spider started scrambling up the side of the sink to escape the water. I don't think it came from the grapes, but was just hanging out in my sink for some reason. I just stood there and screamed and sprayed the demon spider and tried to get it in the garbage disposal, but it kept coming at me, frantically trying to escape the water, it wouldn't stop! I had to STAB IT WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE to get it to finally give up. I stabbed that fricker like it was showering at the Bates motel.

I did not eat the grapes as they were saturated with the blood and ghost of a murdered giant hairy demon spider. I gave them to my neighbor.

/end uncool spider story
 
2013-11-26 12:40:57 PM  
As an entomologist and someone who put themselves through school by being a supermarket drone, I'm getting a kick...

This happens all the time, often on grapes from Mexico, surprisingly (or not, perhaps). Black widow bites usually won't kill you. For about four hours, you kinda wish they would, though.

Why, yes, I do know first hand...
 
2013-11-26 12:47:32 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: Uncool spider story

I was preparing to wash grapes in a colander in the sink. I turned on the water and started spraying away and a huge, seriously huge brown, hairy spider started scrambling up the side of the sink to escape the water. I don't think it came from the grapes, but was just hanging out in my sink for some reason. I just stood there and screamed and sprayed the demon spider and tried to get it in the garbage disposal, but it kept coming at me, frantically trying to escape the water, it wouldn't stop! I had to STAB IT WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE to get it to finally give up. I stabbed that fricker like it was showering at the Bates motel.

I did not eat the grapes as they were saturated with the blood and ghost of a murdered giant hairy demon spider. I gave them to my neighbor.

/end uncool spider story


Seriously huge like a half-dollar or seriously huge like a tea saucer?

If it was the latter, it was probably a fishing spider (Dolomedes sp.). They will spook most people and they are FAST (but harmless).

/spiders are our eight-legged friends :)
 
2013-11-26 12:58:13 PM  

a_room_with_a_moose: Anne.Uumellmahaye: Uncool spider story

I was preparing to wash grapes in a colander in the sink. I turned on the water and started spraying away and a huge, seriously huge brown, hairy spider started scrambling up the side of the sink to escape the water. I don't think it came from the grapes, but was just hanging out in my sink for some reason. I just stood there and screamed and sprayed the demon spider and tried to get it in the garbage disposal, but it kept coming at me, frantically trying to escape the water, it wouldn't stop! I had to STAB IT WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE to get it to finally give up. I stabbed that fricker like it was showering at the Bates motel.

I did not eat the grapes as they were saturated with the blood and ghost of a murdered giant hairy demon spider. I gave them to my neighbor.

/end uncool spider story

Seriously huge like a half-dollar or seriously huge like a tea saucer?

If it was the latter, it was probably a fishing spider (Dolomedes sp.). They will spook most people and they are FAST (but harmless).

/spiders are our eight-legged friends :)


I'm assuming size includes legs in which case it was a tea saucer. If size is body alone and you are willingly describing a tea saucer-sized spider as my friend you can suck it, spider hippie.

Friends don't erratically come charging at friends with their eight creepy legs flailing uncontrollably ignoring their desperate screams of terror until they grab a weapon. That is not friendly.
 
2013-11-26 01:06:09 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: a_room_with_a_moose: Anne.Uumellmahaye: Uncool spider story

I was preparing to wash grapes in a colander in the sink. I turned on the water and started spraying away and a huge, seriously huge brown, hairy spider started scrambling up the side of the sink to escape the water. I don't think it came from the grapes, but was just hanging out in my sink for some reason. I just stood there and screamed and sprayed the demon spider and tried to get it in the garbage disposal, but it kept coming at me, frantically trying to escape the water, it wouldn't stop! I had to STAB IT WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE to get it to finally give up. I stabbed that fricker like it was showering at the Bates motel.

I did not eat the grapes as they were saturated with the blood and ghost of a murdered giant hairy demon spider. I gave them to my neighbor.

/end uncool spider story

Seriously huge like a half-dollar or seriously huge like a tea saucer?

If it was the latter, it was probably a fishing spider (Dolomedes sp.). They will spook most people and they are FAST (but harmless).

/spiders are our eight-legged friends :)

I'm assuming size includes legs in which case it was a tea saucer. If size is body alone and you are willingly describing a tea saucer-sized spider as my friend you can suck it, spider hippie.

Friends don't erratically come charging at friends with their eight creepy legs flailing uncontrollably ignoring their desperate screams of terror until they grab a weapon. That is not friendly.


Yep. Legs included. That's what it was. About the biggest non-tarantula spider in N. America.

Spider-hippie! I like that. Nope, just a geek biologist (entomologist).

You scared it, then sent it to the great nursery-web in the sky. Feel bad!

I keed...
 
2013-11-26 01:06:15 PM  

a_room_with_a_moose: karnal: The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings

Spiders don't have stingers.

/yes, you can color me as "insufferable douche"


Actually you are just functionally illiterate. The verse doesn't say "the horror of his stinger," it says "the horror of his sting." Things without stingers can sting.
 
2013-11-26 01:07:00 PM  
This is so common that people should be terrified.  I adopted a pet black widow in high school when someone brought one into the pet store  I worked at for identification.  It also came from grapes at the grocery store.

/killed (froze) the spider a week later when it laid eggs
 
2013-11-26 01:11:27 PM  
Wait. Bugs get near food?
 
2013-11-26 01:15:33 PM  

Mirandized: a_room_with_a_moose: karnal: The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings

Spiders don't have stingers.

/yes, you can color me as "insufferable douche"

Actually you are just functionally illiterate. The verse doesn't say "the horror of his stinger," it says "the horror of his sting." Things without stingers can sting.


They can? How? With their chelicera? Then it would be a "bite".

Do you "punch" with your feet? No, you kick with them.

To "sting" requires a stinger.

I may indeed, be functionally illiterate, but YOU haven't made that case!
 
2013-11-26 01:31:17 PM  

a_room_with_a_moose: Mirandized: a_room_with_a_moose: karnal: The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings

Spiders don't have stingers.

/yes, you can color me as "insufferable douche"

Actually you are just functionally illiterate. The verse doesn't say "the horror of his stinger," it says "the horror of his sting." Things without stingers can sting.

They can? How? With their chelicera? Then it would be a "bite".

Do you "punch" with your feet? No, you kick with them.

To "sting" requires a stinger.

I may indeed, be functionally illiterate, but YOU haven't made that case!


OMG, you were serious about that douche thing? Don't be stubborn. Salt stings on a paper cut. Being slapped on the ass with a wet hand also stings.

EVERYONE RELAX
 
2013-11-26 01:55:29 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-26 02:02:33 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: a_room_with_a_moose: Mirandized: a_room_with_a_moose: karnal: The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings

Spiders don't have stingers.

/yes, you can color me as "insufferable douche"

Actually you are just functionally illiterate. The verse doesn't say "the horror of his stinger," it says "the horror of his sting." Things without stingers can sting.

They can? How? With their chelicera? Then it would be a "bite".

Do you "punch" with your feet? No, you kick with them.

To "sting" requires a stinger.

I may indeed, be functionally illiterate, but YOU haven't made that case!

OMG, you were serious about that douche thing? Don't be stubborn. Salt stings on a paper cut. Being slapped on the ass with a wet hand also stings.

EVERYONE RELAX


OK. I give. Man, you know how to suck the fun out FARK. You must know my ex-wife...
 
2013-11-26 02:08:26 PM  
Oops, forgot an, "of".^^^^
 
2013-11-26 02:37:02 PM  
Yearly black widow in grapes story, check.

Now all we need is a banana for reference.

/waits for the black widow in bananas story which should be due any day now.
 
2013-11-26 03:44:14 PM  
Maybe I'm confused as to why this is news. I have black widows all around my house, safely attached to their chains.. I mean webs.
 
2013-11-26 04:19:47 PM  

a_room_with_a_moose: Anne.Uumellmahaye: a_room_with_a_moose: Mirandized: a_room_with_a_moose: karnal: The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings

Spiders don't have stingers.

/yes, you can color me as "insufferable douche"

Actually you are just functionally illiterate. The verse doesn't say "the horror of his stinger," it says "the horror of his sting." Things without stingers can sting.

They can? How? With their chelicera? Then it would be a "bite".

Do you "punch" with your feet? No, you kick with them.

To "sting" requires a stinger.

I may indeed, be functionally illiterate, but YOU haven't made that case!

OMG, you were serious about that douche thing? Don't be stubborn. Salt stings on a paper cut. Being slapped on the ass with a wet hand also stings.

EVERYONE RELAX

OK. I give. Man, you know how to suck the fun out FARK. You must know my ex-wife...


This scientific illustration clearly shows the stinger.
0.tqn.com
 
2013-11-26 04:27:32 PM  

karnal: a_room_with_a_moose: Anne.Uumellmahaye: a_room_with_a_moose: Mirandized: a_room_with_a_moose: karnal: The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings

Spiders don't have stingers.

/yes, you can color me as "insufferable douche"

Actually you are just functionally illiterate. The verse doesn't say "the horror of his stinger," it says "the horror of his sting." Things without stingers can sting.

They can? How? With their chelicera? Then it would be a "bite".

Do you "punch" with your feet? No, you kick with them.

To "sting" requires a stinger.

I may indeed, be functionally illiterate, but YOU haven't made that case!

OMG, you were serious about that douche thing? Don't be stubborn. Salt stings on a paper cut. Being slapped on the ass with a wet hand also stings.

EVERYONE RELAX

OK. I give. Man, you know how to suck the fun out FARK. You must know my ex-wife...

This scientific illustration clearly shows the stinger.


I wasn't drinking coffee that time, it was scotch. My nose now burns...

Grazie mille. Grazie.
 
2013-11-26 05:47:10 PM  

VolRath217: Maybe I'm confused as to why this is news. I have black widows all around my house, safely attached to their chains.. I mean webs.


It is news because 1) They are live spiders in food bought at a grocery store and, 2) They are not normally found in the northern states, especially when the temps are regularly below freezing.
 
2013-11-26 09:52:34 PM  

a_room_with_a_moose: Anne.Uumellmahaye: a_room_with_a_moose: Mirandized: a_room_with_a_moose: karnal: The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings

Spiders don't have stingers.

/yes, you can color me as "insufferable douche"

Actually you are just functionally illiterate. The verse doesn't say "the horror of his stinger," it says "the horror of his sting." Things without stingers can sting.

They can? How? With their chelicera? Then it would be a "bite".

Do you "punch" with your feet? No, you kick with them.

To "sting" requires a stinger.

I may indeed, be functionally illiterate, but YOU haven't made that case!

OMG, you were serious about that douche thing? Don't be stubborn. Salt stings on a paper cut. Being slapped on the ass with a wet hand also stings.

EVERYONE RELAX

OK. I give. Man, you know how to suck the fun out FARK. You must know my ex-wife...


Everybody knows your ex-wife.
 
2013-11-27 02:48:59 AM  

Mirandized: a_room_with_a_moose: Anne.Uumellmahaye: a_room_with_a_moose: Mirandized: a_room_with_a_moose: karnal: The horror that he brings - The horror of his sting - The unholiest of kings

Spiders don't have stingers.

/yes, you can color me as "insufferable douche"

Actually you are just functionally illiterate. The verse doesn't say "the horror of his stinger," it says "the horror of his sting." Things without stingers can sting.

They can? How? With their chelicera? Then it would be a "bite".

Do you "punch" with your feet? No, you kick with them.

To "sting" requires a stinger.

I may indeed, be functionally illiterate, but YOU haven't made that case!

OMG, you were serious about that douche thing? Don't be stubborn. Salt stings on a paper cut. Being slapped on the ass with a wet hand also stings.

EVERYONE RELAX

OK. I give. Man, you know how to suck the fun out FARK. You must know my ex-wife...

Everybody knows your ex-wife.


Right! She never met a stranger, that's for sure.
 
2013-11-27 03:58:42 PM  
This isn't really that uncommon. As someone who works in the produce biz I've seen everything from black widows to brown recluse spiders and even snakes. Luckily the 35-45 degree temps are not to kind to then and they are either dead or barely alive. They are a bigger danger to the people who actually put the produce on the shelf than customers.

/bananas are the usual suspectssssss
 
Displayed 31 of 31 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report