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(The New York Times)   Pro Tip: After faking your own death to skip out on an $80,000 debt to a drug lord, and robbing a gun store with a hammer while wearing a Batman mask to finance your new life, do not call the police officer investigating your disappearance   (nytimes.com) divider line 21
    More: Strange, faked death, police officers, disappearance, robbery, firearms, stuff  
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2631 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2013 at 9:18 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



21 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-26 09:23:20 AM
Phil Shifley?
 
2013-11-26 09:24:50 AM
Sounds like the plot of a Coen brothers movie.
 
2013-11-26 09:25:59 AM
Well, there go my weekend plans.
 
2013-11-26 09:28:01 AM
Martinez was sentenced to 70 months to 30 years in prison on Monday.

anyone else confused by this one?
 
2013-11-26 09:28:17 AM
nittanylionsden.com
 
2013-11-26 09:35:58 AM

Milk D: Martinez was sentenced to 70 months to 30 years in prison on Monday.

anyone else confused by this one?


I just took that he has been convicted, but sentancing has not been handed down yet.
 
2013-11-26 09:38:00 AM

Slaves2Darkness: I just took that he has been convicted, but sentancing has not been handed down yet.


except this is for the girlfriend - who was sentenced to 70 months to 30 years.  hell of a spread there between 70 and 360 months.
 
2013-11-26 09:39:42 AM
The Aristocrats!
 
2013-11-26 09:42:23 AM
i215.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-26 09:42:48 AM
DNRTFA but how does anyone get away with robbing a gun store with a hammer? Is this the only time someone's done that and not gotten shot in the face?
 
2013-11-26 09:51:38 AM
If this whole misadventure started with him skipping out on an $80,000 debt to a drug lord, there's good odds he won't live to finish his entire sentence, so he's, uh... got that going for him?
 
2013-11-26 09:51:59 AM
Rowan and Martinez?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkFx3TaOunA
Say good night, Rosa.
 
2013-11-26 10:06:03 AM
Because he's the idiot Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now...and so we'll hunt him, because he is a fool. Because he's not a smart man. He's a drooling idiot, a farking dumbass...a dork knight.
 
2013-11-26 10:32:00 AM
Ah, this dude.  There was a long story in the NYT, complete with comic book style illustrations.

http://www.nytimes.com/projects/2013/tomato-can-blues/

TFA doesn't even cover half the weirdness, such as having his girlfriend play the inside woman at the gun store, and beating her up during the robbery to make it look convincing.  Or the charity MMA fight she helped arrange to raise money after his "death."  Or that "faking his death" involved her just calling his mom and telling him he died.  They didn't even try to do anything that would plausibly get a death certificate issued.  Or the dead guy calling the girlfriend on her cell phone during the middle of her police interview, to ask if the cops were buying her story.
 
2013-11-26 10:39:24 AM
Came for Laugh-In reference, left satisfied.
Verrrry interesting. -but shtupid!
 
2013-11-26 12:01:30 PM

Sgt Otter: Ah, this dude.  There was a long story in the NYT, complete with comic book style illustrations.

http://www.nytimes.com/projects/2013/tomato-can-blues/

TFA doesn't even cover half the weirdness, such as having his girlfriend play the inside woman at the gun store, and beating her up during the robbery to make it look convincing.  Or the charity MMA fight she helped arrange to raise money after his "death."  Or that "faking his death" involved her just calling his mom and telling him he died.  They didn't even try to do anything that would plausibly get a death certificate issued.  Or the dead guy calling the girlfriend on her cell phone during the middle of her police interview, to ask if the cops were buying her story.


lol, that's even worse than the way people fake their deaths on messageboards  (having their alt post an announcement thread in the main forum)
 
2013-11-26 12:21:58 PM

you are a puppet: lol, that's even worse than the way people fake their deaths on messageboards  (having their alt post an announcement thread in the main forum)


Hey, I'll have you know that when my wife's cat borrowed my login to tell the world how I died protecting a bevy of naked supermodels from an army of time-travelling ninja space squids, the Internet nearly drowned in the flood of frowny emoticons and "I has a sad" kitty pictures that followed.

/I got better.
//and then I totally had sex with those supermodels, just before they all quit their careers, cancelled their online accounts, and moved to Canada. I'd show you pics of them, but after my death, my hard drive crashed with grief and lost all my photos. I know, I know... csb.
 
2013-11-26 01:04:37 PM

Sgt Otter: Ah, this dude.  There was a long story in the NYT, complete with comic book style illustrations.

http://www.nytimes.com/projects/2013/tomato-can-blues/

TFA doesn't even cover half the weirdness, such as having his girlfriend play the inside woman at the gun store, and beating her up during the robbery to make it look convincing.  Or the charity MMA fight she helped arrange to raise money after his "death."  Or that "faking his death" involved her just calling his mom and telling him he died.  They didn't even try to do anything that would plausibly get a death certificate issued.  Or the dead guy calling the girlfriend on her cell phone during the middle of her police interview, to ask if the cops were buying her story.


Not to mention the forth-coming story about he was actually killed by the drug lord'shiatmen in a gruesome way.
 
2013-11-26 01:07:13 PM
How is  it "robbed a gun store with a hammer" and not "shot while attempting to rob a gun store with a hammer"?

In guns stores, most of the people that work there have guns.
 
2013-11-26 01:18:32 PM
Don't think he will have to worry about the long prison term. The drug lord he tried to skip out on will see to that.
 
2013-11-26 09:02:53 PM
"Five minutes just changed two decades of my life, the rest of my life, the rest of everyone else's," Rowan said.

I rather believe that it was more than just 5 minutes worth of bad decisions...
 
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