If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Orlando Sentinel)   The Animal Rights Foundation of Florida said it plans to hang a huge banner declaring "Holidays are murder on turkeys." Delicious, delicious murder   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 60
    More: Florida, Thanksgiving, Florida Area, Turkey, murders  
•       •       •

1160 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2013 at 2:07 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-11-26 12:38:56 AM
meat is murder
 
2013-11-26 02:09:35 AM
I don't really like turkey, I'd rather have a ham or lasagna instead.
 
2013-11-26 02:10:01 AM
They can go get stuffed.
 
2013-11-26 02:10:08 AM
Enjoy your tofurky, I'll enjoy being an omnivore.
 
2013-11-26 02:10:23 AM
Fine by me. Turkey is sort of "meh" even when perfectly prepared, and it's difficult to prepare perfectly so "meh" is the unlikely best case scenario. I do enjoy leftover turkey sandwiches with lots of mayo and salt and stuff, but I'd rather have beef or ham instead of turkey in the first place.
 
2013-11-26 02:12:23 AM
As someone who spatchcocked a turkey for the first time...
 
2013-11-26 02:18:59 AM
I never cared for turkey on thanksgiving. Leftover turkey is a whole different ballgame.
 
2013-11-26 02:20:32 AM

Jument: Fine by me. Turkey is sort of "meh" even when perfectly prepared, and it's difficult to prepare perfectly so "meh" is the unlikely best case scenario. I do enjoy leftover turkey sandwiches with lots of mayo and salt and stuff, but I'd rather have beef or ham instead of turkey in the first place.


My neighbors growing up were Danish, and would have our family over for Christmas eve dinner. They made some kind of roast duck which was so much better than any turkey I ever had. I remember wishing we could have that for thanksgiving.

/csb
 
2013-11-26 02:20:45 AM
WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE HAMS?!?
 
2013-11-26 02:38:10 AM
I plan on attempting to destroy any evidence of meat murder Thursday with my Gastronomical fortitude
 
2013-11-26 02:43:24 AM
I only eat turkeys that have been killed in self-defense.
 
2013-11-26 02:46:17 AM
Mmmmm. Yummy Murder with Gravy and Stuffing.
Could you pass the yams please?

Nom Nom Nom
 
2013-11-26 02:48:29 AM
rlv.zcache.com
 
2013-11-26 02:51:21 AM

fusillade762: WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE HAMS?!?


img.fark.net
 
2013-11-26 02:52:07 AM
 turkey club sandwiches.with a pickle and slaw or freedom fries all weekend.
 
2013-11-26 02:54:11 AM

syrynxx: I only eat turkeys that have been killed in self-defense.


give it skittles and shoot it in the chest?
 
2013-11-26 02:55:49 AM

farkinglizardking: syrynxx: I only eat turkeys that have been killed in self-defense.

give it skittles and shoot it in the chest?


Taste the rainbow.
 
2013-11-26 02:58:07 AM
I only eat the most traditional of Thanksgiving dinners. Grass and tree bark.
 
2013-11-26 03:14:23 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: I only eat the most traditional of Thanksgiving dinners. Grass and tree bark.


and when there was no grass, we ate sand.
 
2013-11-26 03:16:49 AM

Genju: Jument: Fine by me. Turkey is sort of "meh" even when perfectly prepared, and it's difficult to prepare perfectly so "meh" is the unlikely best case scenario. I do enjoy leftover turkey sandwiches with lots of mayo and salt and stuff, but I'd rather have beef or ham instead of turkey in the first place.

My neighbors growing up were Danish, and would have our family over for Christmas eve dinner. They made some kind of roast duck which was so much better than any turkey I ever had. I remember wishing we could have that for thanksgiving.

/csb


It was probably stuffed with apples and prunes. Was is stuffed with apples and prunes?
 
2013-11-26 03:24:49 AM
It's not like anyone's really going to love a turkey and welcome it into their home. They're only slightly less disgusting than geese.
 
2013-11-26 03:37:24 AM
There's plenty of room for God's creatures.... Right next to the green beans and mashed potatoes.
 
2013-11-26 03:44:56 AM
No sense crying about it. We enjoy our bird Thanksgiving Day, but it does not excuse the way that these animals are raised. They can't even fark naturally and have to be inseminated with a turkey baster. How's that for delicious irony?

No, if you're complaining about animal rights activists, you're probably a total shiathead control freak anyway. Just let it go. It's something you have no power over.
 
2013-11-26 03:45:26 AM
I don't understand the end game here.

What, to make everyone vegetarian? First of all, not everyone can do it. Second of all, it would lead to massive damage to land due to increased industrial farming to keep up with feeding people. Third of all, many studies show it leads to decreased bone density and that our brains are designed to run on meat (do your own googling).

Assuming they can accept these insurmountable hurdles, what do they think are going to happen to the useless livestock? Well, if all the US goes veggie, the animals will still be slaughtered, and their meat shipped elsewhere. If the world went veggie? All the animals would be slaughtered because they're a goddamn massive cost. Most cows are not cute 4H calves, they're only raised because of the gamble that they can be sold for more than they cost to care for. These critters are expensive and even if they won't feed anyone they'll go under the humane killer boltgun thing because if there's no profit in them there's no reason to keep them. Probably 90% of livestock would die en mass and I'm only keeping it that low because of laying hens and dairy cows, which get a few years of work each.

So now we have massive pollution issues due to millions of pounds of unusable meat and zoo animals starving around the world because WHAR FOOD WHAR. Predator species eat meat and conservation programs that breed in captivity to release in the wild feed their critters the same thing we eat: poultry and beef. Pet chow will go out the window because yeah, they buy from slaughterhouses too.

There is NOTHING animal loving about encouraging mass vegetarianism.

They are encouraging animal genocide.

/it's like keeping horse slaughterhouses open is actually more humane to horses
//because closing them has led to them being shipped to Mexico and a huge number of feral horses
 
2013-11-26 03:47:30 AM
lolwut
 
2013-11-26 03:53:24 AM

whidbey: No sense crying about it. We enjoy our bird Thanksgiving Day, but it does not excuse the way that these animals are raised. They can't even fark naturally and have to be inseminated with a turkey baster. How's that for delicious irony?

No, if you're complaining about animal rights activists, you're probably a total shiathead control freak anyway. Just let it go. It's something you have no power over.


t.qkme.me
 
2013-11-26 04:47:13 AM

Ringshadow: I don't understand the end game here.

What, to make everyone vegetarian?



To reassure themselves that they are superior.

This is important in the last month or so of the year, when they face a great deal of pity.
 
2013-11-26 05:12:43 AM
Fark these people. They could be out there, demanding better conditions for animals stuck in filthy factory farms, demanding humane treatment of them, but no, they have to claim that killing a turkey is murder, just like if you killed a human, and further making people associate animal welfare groups with total nutjobs.
 
2013-11-26 06:25:51 AM
This thread is making me salivate.

/Damn you, Pavlov!
 
2013-11-26 06:45:57 AM

Jument: Fine by me. Turkey is sort of "meh" even when perfectly prepared, and it's difficult to prepare perfectly so "meh" is the unlikely best case scenario. I do enjoy leftover turkey sandwiches with lots of mayo and salt and stuff, but I'd rather have beef or ham instead of turkey in the first place.


Why do I keep seeing people say turkey is so difficult to cook? It couldn't be more simple, you put it in a pan, cover it with foil and bake it for 5-6 hours (depending on size) and you're done. Perfectly moist, tender and delicious every time. It does dry out some by the next day, but fresh out of the oven it's delicious.
 
2013-11-26 06:54:00 AM

ReapTheChaos: Jument: Fine by me. Turkey is sort of "meh" even when perfectly prepared, and it's difficult to prepare perfectly so "meh" is the unlikely best case scenario. I do enjoy leftover turkey sandwiches with lots of mayo and salt and stuff, but I'd rather have beef or ham instead of turkey in the first place.

Why do I keep seeing people say turkey is so difficult to cook? It couldn't be more simple, you put it in a pan, cover it with foil and bake it for 5-6 hours (depending on size) and you're done. Perfectly moist, tender and delicious every time. It does dry out some by the next day, but fresh out of the oven it's delicious.


It isn't, but I guess turkey isn't for everyone. A lot of people labor under the delusion that they must eat white meat, because reasons. So there's that. I've never had an anti- or meh-turkey person disappointed with a good smoked bird, though. I cannot farking wait for Thanksgiving. Frying a 20 pounder, smoking a 27 pounder. We're driving out to our farm Friday night so i can make with the slaughter, though my wife can't bring herself to watch.
 
2013-11-26 07:01:56 AM

Ringshadow: I don't understand the end game here.

What, to make everyone vegetarian? First of all, not everyone can do it. Second of all, it would lead to massive damage to land due to increased industrial farming to keep up with feeding people. Third of all, many studies show it leads to decreased bone density and that our brains are designed to run on meat (do your own googling).



"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"
"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"
 
2013-11-26 07:28:29 AM
I murdered my two birds, they're going to be delicious.  One is being fried, the other roasted after being brined for 2 days, then covered with a latticework of bacon for the first couple of hours.

/damn I can't wait for Thursday.
 
2013-11-26 07:36:53 AM
This outfit (ARFF) posted a gratuitous attack of a friend of mine online.  F*** them.
 
2013-11-26 07:38:49 AM
...gratuitous attack *on* a friend...

oops

/and the horse they rode in on.
 
2013-11-26 07:44:20 AM
Yet, no one cares about the corn plant, that's had it's ears ripped off. The bean plant that had it's pods torn from itself. The potato plant dug from the ground, it's spuds stolen and whats left, lying on the ground withering and dying. The cabbage, decapitated in the prime of it's life.

 You didn't know there was a dark side to being a vegetarian, did you? They are just as murderous as the carnivores. But it's ok, because they are "just plants".
 
2013-11-26 07:48:28 AM
Dear idiots:

Killing animals is not abuse, or an animal mistreatment issue in any way.

Killing animals for  food is a biological necessity, albeit since the advent of genetic manipulation of plants in the 1950s more of a necessity for the species in question than us (they would be extinct if we didn't raise them for food).

By complaining about this, you fail at basic logic  twice.  That's pretty hard fail there.
 
2013-11-26 08:13:22 AM
robohobo:  A lot of people labor under the delusion that they must eat white meat, because reasons. So there's that.

I'll never understand this myself. A friend "doesn't eat dark meat", but the way he grills steaks and pork chops it's obvious he can't tell the difference between medium and charred remains much less a breast and a thigh.
 
2013-11-26 08:19:44 AM
I love how animal right activists conveniently ignore the fact that trees are living beings too, and trees feels pain as well.

Their point is, see, these guys are silent, lets murder those instead of these ones who are at least on paper better equipped to protect them.

/until they are willing to live off of salts, they are farking hypocrites
 
2013-11-26 08:27:10 AM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-11-26 08:29:57 AM
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-11-26 08:54:51 AM

Jim_Callahan: Dear idiots:

Killing animals is not abuse, or an animal mistreatment issue in any way.

Killing animals for  food is a biological necessity, albeit since the advent of genetic manipulation of plants in the 1950s more of a necessity for the species in question than us (they would be extinct if we didn't raise them for food).

By complaining about this, you fail at basic logic  twice.  That's pretty hard fail there.



It's not the killing per se.  Dying is probably the best thing most of these animals get in their short, miserable lives. It's what happens before the killing - abuse by farm workers; overcrowded, squalid living conditions; and the fact that most of these animals are a figment of their natural selves after getting pumped up with steroids and artificial, GMO feed to the point where many can't even walk. Factory farming is what's wrong with meat.

And you are incorrect in your assertion that eating meat is a "biological necessity" - unless you're a feline or other obligate carnivore, it's not. Not only can one live without a slab of flesh at every meal, it's not really that hard to do and your body is better off without it.

And I highly doubt that any of those species would go extinct if we weren't raising them by the billions. Just ask Hawaii about its feral pig problem, for instance.
 
2013-11-26 09:03:13 AM

farkinglizardking: syrynxx: I only eat turkeys that have been killed in self-defense.

give it skittles and shoot it in the chest?


No, no, no, don't waste the breast meat.  It's boom, headshot.
 
2013-11-26 09:11:38 AM
So, instead of turkey for thanksgiving, I'll just have panda.
Oh, I also have to say "fall feast" instead of thanksgiving because political correctness.
 
2013-11-26 09:17:26 AM

Ringshadow: I don't understand the end game here.

...


I agree in general - if everyone went vegetarian most of the animals we eat would rapidly end up endangered/extinct/only found in zoos. However you are wrong on the land use issue - while historically a lot of animals were grazed on marginal land that wouldn't be productive to grow crops, nowadays this isn't the case, and if we were all vegetarians it would take significantly less land to feed the same population (how much by depends on a lot of assumptions and accounting for many regional variations).
 
2013-11-26 10:07:16 AM
My entire take away from reading the article is that I want to see a turkey climb a tree.
 
2013-11-26 10:22:53 AM
It's hard to take a group seriously when the acronym for the group is ARFF.
 
2013-11-26 10:23:46 AM
I eat the turkey and absorb its power.
 
2013-11-26 10:24:44 AM

Richard C Stanford: So, instead of turkey for thanksgiving, I'll just have panda.
Oh, I also have to say "fall feast" instead of thanksgiving because political correctness.


...huh? The second one's new on me, and I'm a fairly PC type of guy. Just about every usage I could Google for "fall feast" includes the word, "Thanksgiving", too.
 
2013-11-26 10:26:02 AM

Because People in power are Stupid: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 537x370]


And, honestly, I'd eat both of them. It's just that the food controls on pig are much better than the food controls on dog here, as we don't raise dogs for food (yet.)
 
Displayed 50 of 60 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report