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(SlashFilm)   So, it's come to this: A remake of Road House   (slashfilm.com) divider line 106
    More: Sad, Rob Cohen, Patrick Swayze, Alex Cross, action movies, The Running Man  
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2740 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 25 Nov 2013 at 7:59 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-25 09:21:56 PM  
 
2013-11-25 09:24:09 PM  

Rapmaster2000: "I used to fark guys like you in prison" is the greatest bad guy one-liner of all time.


When I heard that, I had an immediate Happy Gilmore response. "You used to fark guys in prison?"
 
2013-11-25 09:24:49 PM  
*scans headline*


1.media.todaysbigthing.cvcdn.com
 
2013-11-25 09:33:37 PM  

Whistling Kitty Chaser: Rapmaster2000: "I used to fark guys like you in prison" is the greatest bad guy one-liner of all time.

When I heard that, I had an immediate Happy Gilmore response. "You used to fark guys in prison?"


I am actually trying to work this conversation into a stand up bit. Something along the line of guys practice being Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction in case they ever get into a fight. But when the time actually comes, they end up saying "I used to fark guys like you in prison."
 
2013-11-25 09:35:41 PM  

Whistling Kitty Chaser: Rapmaster2000: "I used to fark guys like you in prison" is the greatest bad guy one-liner of all time.

When I heard that, I had an immediate Happy Gilmore response. "You used to fark guys in prison?"


Uh, who else was he going to fark?
 
2013-11-25 09:46:16 PM  
Do a "The Producers" and adapt it from the stage version.

badreputationprods.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-11-25 09:49:53 PM  

Snapper Carr: Who's reprising Kelly Lynch's role and does Bill Murray know her husband?


Glad I'm not the only one who had that thought!
 
2013-11-25 09:52:44 PM  
Fark, I am disappoint.

/Oblig
 
2013-11-25 09:53:49 PM  

GirlWonder: Snapper Carr: Who's reprising Kelly Lynch's role and does Bill Murray know her husband?

Glad I'm not the only one who had that thought!


Damnit, that'll teach me to read the thread more carefully.

/no it won't
 
2013-11-25 09:55:03 PM  

GirlWonder: Snapper Carr: Who's reprising Kelly Lynch's role and does Bill Murray know her husband?

Glad I'm not the only one who had that thought!


I kept reading this as "Kelly McGillis" and was very, very confused.
 
2013-11-25 10:08:23 PM  
Yeah and it'll be PG-13 and lame.
 
2013-11-25 10:13:46 PM  

Mr_Ectomy: Bathia_Mapes: A certain farker isn't going to be too happy about this.

I talked to him about it on twitter.

[i40.tinypic.com image 321x319]


That's pretty much the reaction I expected.
 
2013-11-25 10:17:29 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: Does anyone find it eerie that Patrick Swayze revealed he had pancreatic cancer, which would kill him, shortly after Jeff Healy died? And much later, Ben Gazzara also dies from pancreatic cancer? Is there a Road House curse?


Kinda saw Jeff Healy dying pretty soon after. The guy was sick for a very very long time. He is missed dearly btw.
 
2013-11-25 10:17:32 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Where's he been anyway? What prompted him to emigrate from Farkistan?


No clue to either of those questions.
 
2013-11-25 10:20:45 PM  

Mr_Ectomy: Bob Falfa: Mr_Ectomy: Next thing you know, they'll be remaking Robocop...what?

SONOFABIATCH!

Yeah, or The Great Gatsby.

If they ever remake The Goonies or The Princess Bride, then I'll start to get pissed off.


Unless it's got a $200 million budget, they best leave 'BJ And The Bear' alone, and Lancelot Link'.
 
2013-11-25 10:22:52 PM  
You pick movies pretty good for a white guy
 
2013-11-25 10:38:19 PM  
Reboot the Fall Guy, assholes
 
2013-11-25 10:39:00 PM  

kling_klang_bed: Mr_Ectomy: Bob Falfa: Mr_Ectomy: Next thing you know, they'll be remaking Robocop...what?

SONOFABIATCH!

Yeah, or The Great Gatsby.

If they ever remake The Goonies or The Princess Bride, then I'll start to get pissed off.

Unless it's got a $200 million budget, they best leave 'BJ And The Bear' alone, and Lancelot Link'.


The failure of lone ranger ended my f troop reboot
 
2013-11-25 10:51:44 PM  

js34603: Instead of being all doom and gloom about it, isn't it possible they could remake it just as wonderfully cheesy and over the top as the original?

I mean it's much more likely they'll try to make it a serious drama, or PC it to death, or otherwise completey lose the feel of the original. But shiat it's not like they're rewriting Citizen Kane, it's possible the remake could be just as 'so bad it's good' as Swayze's version.

/no one wins a fight
//and pain don't hurt
///be nice until it's time to not be nice


No, it was pure 80's cheese that just can't be redone today. This remake will try to be "dark and gritty" and just be bad, not so bad it's good.
 
2013-11-25 10:54:58 PM  

Apos: *scans headline*


[1.media.todaysbigthing.cvcdn.com image 167x167]

 
2013-11-25 11:22:02 PM  

Digitalstrange: No, it was pure 80's cheese that just can't be redone today.


This.  Roadhouse is what happens when you take the 80s, grind them up, and freebase them.
 
2013-11-25 11:28:02 PM  
No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Do what you will with Citizen Kane, Casablanca, The Seventh Seal and The Godfather ...

but leave my Dalton alone. Bart Simpson once said that he based his life on Krusty's "teachings." Well, Dalton is my Krusty.

How can you improve upon the perfection that is this film?  It is the White Trash Hamlet; the Redneck Romeo and Juliet; Macbeth with a Mullet; Timon of Athens, Georgia.
 
2013-11-25 11:37:03 PM  

t3knomanser: Roadhouse is what happens when you take the 80s, grind them up, and freebase them.


*slow clap*


Best. Description. Ever.
 
2013-11-25 11:52:19 PM  
Just download the Rifftrax. One of the first ones they did and it is amazing.
 
2013-11-26 12:05:51 AM  

Bith Set Me Up: Does anyone find it eerie that Patrick Swayze revealed he had pancreatic cancer, which would kill him, shortly after Jeff Healy died? And much later, Ben Gazzara also dies from pancreatic cancer? Is there a Road House curse?


No, if you wait long enough, everyone that starred together in movies will die. If Roadhouse was released just last year, then you may have had a point, but it was released back in the 80's.
 
2013-11-26 12:10:27 AM  
I actually met the director, Rowdy Herrington once, before he did Road House. He had just done some modern Jack the Ripper movie.  His nephew was friends with my brother.  He was fidgety and weird, and my parents rushed us out of his house.

I didn't realize until years later that he was coked out of his farking mind.

/CSB
 
2013-11-26 12:53:05 AM  
Hollywood....waht are you doing.....Hollywood...stahp!
 
2013-11-26 01:25:54 AM  
Well regardless of who they get to play Dalton, I thought he'd be bigger
 
2013-11-26 03:21:47 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: B.L.Z. Bub: Where's he been anyway? What prompted him to emigrate from Farkistan?

No clue to either of those questions.


TMLO made a nice 'I want to believe' pic when I mentioned I resemble Gerard Depardiu (at least according to some juggalos waiting for a show) /good farker //have a hunch I spelled the Frenchman s name wrong
 
2013-11-26 06:16:10 AM  

Mugato: Yeah and it'll be PG-13 and lame.


So as we established last week, it will be twice as violent as the original, but no real swearing or tits allowed.
 
2013-11-26 06:51:00 AM  
A remake would be painful to watch.
 
2013-11-26 07:54:44 AM  

Clash City Farker: A remake would be painful to watch.


Not if they make him a bouncer in a strip club and instead of a doctor they make the female lead one of the dancers. I'm thinking at least four to six scenes with tits in them and at least three sex scenes intesped with the fighting.
 
2013-11-26 08:05:43 AM  
No.
 
2013-11-26 08:38:31 AM  

Fano: Reboot the Fall Guy, assholes


They are with Dwayne Johnson in the lead role. I believe he is shooting it after he finishes Fast and Furious 7/8/eleventy whatever one they are on.
 
2013-11-26 09:01:22 AM  

kling_klang_bed: Bith Set Me Up: Does anyone find it eerie that Patrick Swayze revealed he had pancreatic cancer, which would kill him, shortly after Jeff Healy died? And much later, Ben Gazzara also dies from pancreatic cancer? Is there a Road House curse?

Kinda saw Jeff Healy dying pretty soon after. The guy was sick for a very very long time. He is missed dearly btw.


His whole life.

Cancer took his sight.
 
2013-11-26 09:15:43 AM  
Is Hollywood so out of touch that it doesn't understand why Roadhouse is a "classic"?  It's one of the most entertaining "bad" movies of all time.  It is a really bad movie, but it's still fun because it's part over-the-top action sequences and part cliche trainwreck.  And dat ending!!

There's two ways they can remake it, and either way it doesn't make sense to "remake" this film.  They can make it intentionally cliche and cheesy but then it won't be honest which is part of the charm of the original. Or try to make a genuinely cool action flick in which case they will miss the point as well.
 
KIA
2013-11-26 09:39:27 AM  

Slaves2Darkness: Not if they make him a bouncer in a strip club and instead of a doctor they make the female lead one of the dancers. I'm thinking at least four to six scenes with tits in them and at least three sex scenes intesped with the fighting.


I like your train of thought, however there's no way modern Hollywood is showing gratuitous bewbs.  You can have as much throat-tearing violence as you want but not a single bewb.

It would break the coveted PG-13 rating.

Yes, it's going to be PG-13.  Everything is PG-13.

But... if they were going to go hard-R rating... yes, the stripper should be going to med school during the days and dancing at nights to pay the bills.  Just so, you know, she's actually a person and all.
 
2013-11-26 09:43:04 AM  
A bear fell on me.
 
2013-11-26 09:53:42 AM  

offacue: Road House.  The bad movie you can't not watch whenever it's on.  Oh and, Sam Eliot is cooler than Chuck Norris could ever be.


I second this notion
 
2013-11-26 10:01:22 AM  
Road House II: Road Houser

Tag line. Be nice... Until it's time to not be nice. Twice.
 
2013-11-26 10:23:14 AM  
BEST MOVIE EVER....EVER
IT HAS EVERYTHING!!! No really, it does.

A three-wheeler, a MONSTER TRUCK, sha boom sha boom...la la la la la sha boom sha boom, an actual musician that CAN play an instrument, some guy getting his throat ripped out, a helicopter, a topless pool orgy, a bouncer "frisking" a female patron in the cooler, "Be nice.", martial arts fighting (albeit bad martial arts fighting), the 1965 Buick Riviera's headlights THAT STILL WORK, Sam Elliot, the ER doctor guy who said "You know, you need to learn karate or something.",  extortion, The Double Deuce, Leaded or unleaded...LEADED, as mistrmind said, "A bear fell on me.", something about Dalton and Dr. Elizabeth Clay getting pinned against a wall (not sure what all the hub-bub is about), tremendous fight scene in the back of the Double Deuce during the liquor drop off, the guy who owned the auto parts store was named, Red, "Right boot", a badass with a pool cue and cross earring (that's like wearing a TAPOUT shirt now).

What else do I have to say?
 
2013-11-26 10:39:13 AM  

Broktun: kling_klang_bed: Bith Set Me Up: Does anyone find it eerie that Patrick Swayze revealed he had pancreatic cancer, which would kill him, shortly after Jeff Healy died? And much later, Ben Gazzara also dies from pancreatic cancer? Is there a Road House curse?

Kinda saw Jeff Healy dying pretty soon after. The guy was sick for a very very long time. He is missed dearly btw.

His whole life.

Cancer took his sight.


You watch. You farking watch, they're gonna replace him with John Mayer or some wannabe blues schmuck.
Sam Elliot's still around, hopefully they keep him and that righteous 'stache around. Won't be doing any of those kickass fights scenes though.
 
2013-11-26 10:55:12 AM  

carrion_luggage: Road House II: Road Houser

Tag line. Be nice... Until it's time to not be nice. Twice.


There already is a Road House 2...
 
2013-11-26 10:56:33 AM  
Bith Set Me Up:  Ben Gazzara

Drink!

/oh...wait...wrong tab
 
2013-11-26 10:56:55 AM  

offacue: Road House.  The bad movie you can't not watch whenever it's on.  Oh and, Sam Eliot is cooler than Chuck Norris could ever be.


Exactly!!!
 
2013-11-26 10:57:06 AM  

T.rex: I'm guessing they'll cast Sam Worthington or Jason Statham.


Jason Statham was the first I thought of.

Now cast Mickey Rourke as Caretaker, suckers.

Even if it sucks I know that I'll give them my money.
 
2013-11-26 11:53:13 AM  
Jeff Healey's role will be filled by Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood
 
2013-11-26 12:07:50 PM  

sid244: BEST MOVIE EVER....EVER
IT HAS EVERYTHING!!! No really, it does.

A three-wheeler, a MONSTER TRUCK, sha boom sha boom...la la la la la sha boom sha boom, an actual musician that CAN play an instrument, some guy getting his throat ripped out, a helicopter, a topless pool orgy, a bouncer "frisking" a female patron in the cooler, "Be nice.", martial arts fighting (albeit bad martial arts fighting), the 1965 Buick Riviera's headlights THAT STILL WORK, Sam Elliot, the ER doctor guy who said "You know, you need to learn karate or something.",  extortion, The Double Deuce, Leaded or unleaded...LEADED, as mistrmind said, "A bear fell on me.", something about Dalton and Dr. Elizabeth Clay getting pinned against a wall (not sure what all the hub-bub is about), tremendous fight scene in the back of the Double Deuce during the liquor drop off, the guy who owned the auto parts store was named, Red, "Right boot", a badass with a pool cue and cross earring (that's like wearing a TAPOUT shirt now).

What else do I have to say?


That blond chick with her boobs hanging out.
 
2013-11-26 12:21:59 PM  

mistrmind: sid244: BEST MOVIE EVER....EVER
IT HAS EVERYTHING!!! No really, it does.

A three-wheeler, a MONSTER TRUCK, sha boom sha boom...la la la la la sha boom sha boom, an actual musician that CAN play an instrument, some guy getting his throat ripped out, a helicopter, a topless pool orgy, a bouncer "frisking" a female patron in the cooler, "Be nice.", martial arts fighting (albeit bad martial arts fighting), the 1965 Buick Riviera's headlights THAT STILL WORK, Sam Elliot, the ER doctor guy who said "You know, you need to learn karate or something.",  extortion, The Double Deuce, Leaded or unleaded...LEADED, as mistrmind said, "A bear fell on me.", something about Dalton and Dr. Elizabeth Clay getting pinned against a wall (not sure what all the hub-bub is about), tremendous fight scene in the back of the Double Deuce during the liquor drop off, the guy who owned the auto parts store was named, Red, "Right boot", a badass with a pool cue and cross earring (that's like wearing a TAPOUT shirt now).

What else do I have to say?

That blond chick with her boobs hanging out.


Or wink Sam Elliot gets for pulling back the military guy.
 
2013-11-26 12:23:01 PM  

sid244: mistrmind: sid244: BEST MOVIE EVER....EVER
IT HAS EVERYTHING!!! No really, it does.

A three-wheeler, a MONSTER TRUCK, sha boom sha boom...la la la la la sha boom sha boom, an actual musician that CAN play an instrument, some guy getting his throat ripped out, a helicopter, a topless pool orgy, a bouncer "frisking" a female patron in the cooler, "Be nice.", martial arts fighting (albeit bad martial arts fighting), the 1965 Buick Riviera's headlights THAT STILL WORK, Sam Elliot, the ER doctor guy who said "You know, you need to learn karate or something.",  extortion, The Double Deuce, Leaded or unleaded...LEADED, as mistrmind said, "A bear fell on me.", something about Dalton and Dr. Elizabeth Clay getting pinned against a wall (not sure what all the hub-bub is about), tremendous fight scene in the back of the Double Deuce during the liquor drop off, the guy who owned the auto parts store was named, Red, "Right boot", a badass with a pool cue and cross earring (that's like wearing a TAPOUT shirt now).

What else do I have to say?

That blond chick with her boobs hanging out.

Or wink Or the wink Sam Elliot gets for pulling back the military guy.


/crap
 
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