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(Slate)   Help, my new wife, who told me she was agnostic, was already married to Christ. Now she wants to Menage a Trois with our Lord and Savior. Help   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Bride of Christ, jesus, marriage counsels, bait and switches, Gone Girl, Emily Yoffe, faiths  
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10338 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Nov 2013 at 4:36 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-25 04:36:55 PM  
Don't let him "Peg" you.
 
2013-11-25 04:38:04 PM  
Guess she wanted Jesus inside her.
 
2013-11-25 04:38:47 PM  
Jesus' boner is the alpha and omega too, imagine how emasculated you'll feel around that massive ween.
 
2013-11-25 04:39:12 PM  
Having read TFA, that's a big old "WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP" warning going off.  Don't even bother with counseling, get a lawyer right now and get an annulment.  False pretenses and all that.
 
2013-11-25 04:40:16 PM  
Helloooooo fraudulent annulment....
 
2013-11-25 04:41:10 PM  

was already married to Christ


She was a nun?

*goes to RTFA*
 
2013-11-25 04:41:23 PM  
I'm thinking in a predominantly Christian country that'd be a hard annulment to get, but not a hard divorce.
 
2013-11-25 04:41:29 PM  
Contrary to popular belief, the surprisology faction of the Catholic church hasn't been dying off, but rather simply lying in wait.
 
2013-11-25 04:41:50 PM  
Now, instead of our not wanting any kids, she wants at least five and maybe more. Instead of no religion, she wants strict adherence to her religion. I feel I've been duped and that she's lied to me about herself. Is there any way out of this short of divorce?

Until she drops all her demands, only stick it in her pooper.

Either way you'll come out ahead and she'll come out behind.
 
2013-11-25 04:42:06 PM  
Get a lawyer and get an annulment.  He married her under false pretenses, borderline fraud really, and an annulment will give him more legal protection than a divorce.

I hope to God he didn't stick his carrot in that crazy-hole too many times and won't have to worry about child-support.
 
2013-11-25 04:42:49 PM  
Wait...this is a thing? People lie about being religious to "trap" their partner into marriage?

How do then handle the premarital sex bit?
 
2013-11-25 04:44:30 PM  
She left me for jesus and that just aint fair
She says that he's perfect how could I compare
She says I should find him and I'll know peace at last
If I ever find jesus I'm kickin his ass
 
2013-11-25 04:45:10 PM  
 
2013-11-25 04:45:18 PM  

what_now: Wait...this is a thing? People lie about being religious to "trap" their partner into marriage?

How do then handle the premarital sex bit?


By being tremendous hypocrites, just like everything else.
 
2013-11-25 04:46:33 PM  
Sounds fake to me.  I never met a fervent Christian that could keep it under wraps.  Unless she's one of those girls that simply said anything it took to rope a hubby in and now she's going to implement her "real" plan.  In which case you pack your shiat and leave immediately.
 
2013-11-25 04:49:54 PM  
Even Prudie knows this one is fake, and publishes it anyhow.
Are these supposed to be funny or something?
 
2013-11-25 04:50:00 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Sounds fake to me.  I never met a fervent Christian that could keep it under wraps.  Unless she's one of those girls that simply said anything it took to rope a hubby in and now she's going to implement her "real" plan.  In which case you pack your shiat and leave immediately.


And don't ever, ever look back. Not even for a second. If it's not fake, it's Grade A crazy that you don't want to be within 100 miles of, religion or not.
 
2013-11-25 04:50:41 PM  
There should be some religious rule about lying.
 
2013-11-25 04:50:54 PM  

vudukungfu: Don't let him "Peg" you.


And when she smiles for the camera you know they'll love it.
 
2013-11-25 04:51:17 PM  
This missionary dating business (mentioned later in the column)  sounds like an urban legend to me. Snopes needs to get on it. The letter sounds fake, too, but who really knows is this crazy mixed up world.
 
2013-11-25 04:52:16 PM  
 
2013-11-25 04:52:42 PM  
Prudence sure has a fertile imagination. As soon as I saw Slate and 'Help, my new wife...' I pretty much knew what was coming.  She needs to answer an honest mundane question from a real person to shake things up... "Help Prudence, my pet turtle has intractable diarrhea..." instead of the fake "my female boss is going to fire me unless I perform oral sex on her at work daily under the desk while she talks to clients, what do I do.." stuff.
 
2013-11-25 04:54:10 PM  
Why do the modmins keep greening fake articles? Kickbacks?
 
2013-11-25 04:57:59 PM  
The story in the article aside, "agnostic" does not mean "not religious" or "atheist". It's more of a "decline to state".
 
2013-11-25 05:02:01 PM  
Jesus in the devil's three-way?
 
2013-11-25 05:02:28 PM  

StopLurkListen: The story in the article aside, "agnostic" does not mean "not religious" or "atheist". It's more of a "decline to state".


Not quite. It literally means someone who deems the existence of god unknowable, and in any case pretty much always precludes being religiously devout.

/when even Prudie calls it out you know that sh*t is faaaaaaaaake
 
2013-11-25 05:02:59 PM  
According to the Bible, their daughters should also be involved.

But only if he's drunk.
 
2013-11-25 05:10:47 PM  
If it's that big of a deal, it's a breach of contract, file for an annulment.
 
2013-11-25 05:10:54 PM  

berylman: Prudence sure has a fertile imagination. As soon as I saw Slate and 'Help, my new wife...' I pretty much knew what was coming.  She needs to answer an honest mundane question from a real person to shake things up... "Help Prudence, my pet turtle has intractable diarrhea..." instead of the fake "my female boss is going to fire me unless I perform oral sex on her at work daily under the desk while she talks to clients, what do I do.." stuff.


That's not diarrhea (nsfs).
 
2013-11-25 05:12:47 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Sounds fake to me.  I never met a fervent Christian that could keep it under wraps.  Unless she's one of those girls that simply said anything it took to rope a hubby in and now she's going to implement her "real" plan.  In which case you pack your shiat and leave immediately.


A friend of mine was young and naive, got married to a really nice guy who turned out to be a closet fundie nutjob. Days after the marriage he bought her a bunch of skirts and cut up all her pants, etc. I didn't get all the details but it sounds like it got pretty bad before she finally found a way out.
 
2013-11-25 05:13:02 PM  

StopLurkListen: The story in the article aside, "agnostic" does not mean "not religious" or "atheist". It's more of a "decline to state".


No, that is not true. Not even close. Look it up.

Assuming article is true (unlikely) then yeah, annul the hell out of that and get out of Dodge.
 
2013-11-25 05:15:07 PM  

berylman: Prudence sure has a fertile imagination. As soon as I saw Slate and 'Help, my new wife...' I pretty much knew what was coming.  She needs to answer an honest mundane question from a real person to shake things up... "Help Prudence, my pet turtle has intractable diarrhea..." instead of the fake "my female boss is going to fire me unless I perform oral sex on her at work daily under the desk while she talks to clients, what do I do.." stuff.


go on..
 
2013-11-25 05:19:37 PM  
Since it's technically Jesus Christ, God the Father, the Holy Ghost, and her husband, isn't that more of a gang bang?
 
2013-11-25 05:23:07 PM  
He should have known something was suspicious when she only wanted to have sex in the missionary position.

\\\ Aisle seat, please.
 
2013-11-25 05:23:53 PM  

INeedAName: Marcus Aurelius: Sounds fake to me.  I never met a fervent Christian that could keep it under wraps.  Unless she's one of those girls that simply said anything it took to rope a hubby in and now she's going to implement her "real" plan.  In which case you pack your shiat and leave immediately.

A friend of mine was young and naive, got married to a really nice guy who turned out to be a closet fundie nutjob. Days after the marriage he bought her a bunch of skirts and cut up all her pants, etc. I didn't get all the details but it sounds like it got pretty bad before she finally found a way out.


You don't get into those situations without knowing what is up. She probably thought she had herself a fixer-upper.
 
2013-11-25 05:27:13 PM  

what_now: Wait...this is a thing? People lie about being religious to "trap" their partner into marriage?

How do then handle the premarital sex bit?


Most of the extremely religious girls I have dated justify the sex as a way to bring me to Christ and save my soul.  The small wrongdoing on her part is excusable because the higher purpose of bringing me to Christ outweighs it.

The fact that I practice Asatru might also have something to do with it.
 
2013-11-25 05:29:30 PM  
Devil's 3 way thread?
 
2013-11-25 05:31:00 PM  
If she is THAT religious he should play the "I'm the man of the house and you should be subservient to your husband like the Bible says. Then tell her to shut her mouth about all that children crap, Sunday is for football not church, and now go in the kitchen to make him a sammich.

If she doesn't like it she can go back to being the agnostic he married or slam the door behind her on the way out.

Seriously though, if someone starts acting like that to you your best course of action is to do the same in return.
 
2013-11-25 05:34:50 PM  
He should RP Jesus when they are in the sack until the process server arrives, then gtfo.
 
2013-11-25 05:38:28 PM  
I dated my wife for three years before we married. We were both in our 30s and had had all of the important discussions before we decided to marry (kids, religion, etc.). At the time, she told me she was agnostic, and not really into "the whole religion thing." Now, less than six months into our marriage, she tells me she's joined a church and expects me to join her for Sunday services. It's only now that I learn that she has extremely right-wing, religious views. After talking with some of her friends, they couldn't believe I didn't know this about her. I asked them why they wouldn't have mentioned this when they found out we weren't having a church wedding and they told me that was probably done for my benefit. Now, instead of our not wanting any kids, she wants at least five and maybe more. Instead of no religion, she wants strict adherence to her religion. I feel I've been duped and that she's lied to me about herself. Is there any way out of this short of divorce?

RUN.  You got off cheap.
 
2013-11-25 05:38:51 PM  

basemetal: If it's that big of a deal, it's a breach of contract, file for an annulment.


Interestingly, I always thought an annulment was strictly a catholic / religious thing.  Looking it up, it seems that it can be a legal thing in certain limited circumstances.  Fascinating.
 
2013-11-25 05:39:02 PM  
she tells me she's joined a church and expects me to join her for Sunday services.

Um, No!
I reluctantly do a lot of things for my wife but I told her in no uncertain terms, go to church if you want but don't ever, EVER expect that I will go with you. Not happening.
 
2013-11-25 05:40:53 PM  
Assuming it's legit: Get an annulment yesterday and run far, far away.
 
2013-11-25 05:46:47 PM  

abhorrent1: she tells me she's joined a church and expects me to join her for Sunday services.

Um, No!
I reluctantly do a lot of things for my wife but I told her in no uncertain terms, go to church if you want but don't ever, EVER expect that I will go with you. Not happening.


I am very upfront with women I date. I may step in a church to appreciate the architecture (some of them are pretty damned cool, particularly in Europe), and I will attend when someone gets married, dies, or is born. I'm not going for myself or for a deity, but because the building is pretty, or because the event is important to someone I care about.
 
2013-11-25 05:47:05 PM  

exick: Marcus Aurelius: Sounds fake to me.  I never met a fervent Christian that could keep it under wraps.  Unless she's one of those girls that simply said anything it took to rope a hubby in and now she's going to implement her "real" plan.  In which case you pack your shiat and leave immediately.

And don't ever, ever look back. Not even for a second. If it's not fake, it's Grade A crazy that you don't want to be within 100 miles of, religion or not.


I dont "this" often

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^this^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
 
2013-11-25 05:47:15 PM  
Re: the veracity of the man's 'letter'...

CSB:   In the 1980's I began to date a woman.  Things went great.  We talked, and agreed upon many issues.  Kids? Yep, a couple.  Religion?  Nope, atheists both.  Politics? Liberal both.  etc. etc. right down the line.  Perfect.  After a year she moved in with me.  Perfect.  Until it all unravelled in one morning:
Me:  Nice day, what about an outing?  Zoo?  Waterfront?
Her:  Nope, can't today.
Me: Oh, not well? Better idea?
Her:  No, just can't go out today.
Me:  Why not?  You're sure you're ok?
Her:  No, I can't!!  It's not the right day.
Me:  Right day?  Explanation?
Her:  My chart.  My chart says I can't go out today.
Me:  What chart? To what do you refer?
Her:  <shows me an astrological chart, very detailed for each day, clearly says to stay indoors that day>
Me:  WTF etc.
Her:  <crying>  I knew this would happen, I knew it....

Subsequent conversation revealed that she paid an astrologer $100 a month for this detailed chart and she farking well followed it and had done so for many years.   I am a card-carrying skeptic and her not revealing this during courtship as well as the mere fact that she would follow this woo-woo astrology shiat (or that I  would never do so)  ended the relationship then and there.

So potential partners DO hide stuff about themselves in order to further a relationship.  Even deep core values.

Bonus punchline:  Her 'chart' about me called me the best husband material she could ever find.  She showed it to me as a 'reason' we should stay together and try to work things out.

Yeah, right.
 
2013-11-25 05:49:47 PM  

spiderpaz: Now, instead of our not wanting any kids, she wants at least five and maybe more.


well think of it this way --  at least your wife wants sex
 
2013-11-25 05:55:49 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Sounds fake to me.  I never met a fervent Christian that could keep it under wraps.  Unless she's one of those girls that simply said anything it took to rope a hubby in and now she's going to implement her "real" plan.  In which case you pack your shiat and leave immediately.


Given that one of the, if not the, main things about being a fervent Christian is NOT keeping it under wraps, I have to assume that the wife is not the only loon here.
 
2013-11-25 06:02:36 PM  

Charlie Chingas: Guess she wanted Jesus inside her.


Oh God, YES!

lh4.ggpht.com
 
2013-11-25 06:07:08 PM  
Is subby sure that she wasn't really asking for a MFM with the yard guy?  His name is pronounced a little differently than you might think.
 
2013-11-25 06:18:11 PM  
I like Pru's answer. "...you should go directly to a lawyer, or try a stab...". What? There's more. Whist.
 
2013-11-25 06:24:56 PM  

what_now: Wait...this is a thing? People lie about being religious to "trap" their partner into marriage?


I wondered that, too.  Someone in the comments section on Slate said there's a "thing" called "missionary marriage" whereby Christians marry (and then forcibly convert?) their atheist/agnostic/unbelieving/unChristian spouses.
 
2013-11-25 06:29:18 PM  

Tax Boy: spiderpaz: Now, instead of our not wanting any kids, she wants at least five and maybe more.

well think of it this way --  at least your wife wants sex



He could secretly get snipped and fark her brains out in revenge (provided she has any brains at all).
 
2013-11-25 06:29:45 PM  
the amusing thing here is the way that internet atheists are too farking dumb (or perhaps just willfully obtuse) to grasp the idea that agony aunts make up the letters they answer
 
2013-11-25 06:33:17 PM  

letrole: the amusing thing here is the way that internet atheists are too farking dumb (or perhaps just willfully obtuse) to grasp the idea that agony aunts make up the letters they answer


You're still boring.
 
2013-11-25 07:04:12 PM  
Send her off to meet Jesus and get things started.
Tell her you will join them later.
 
2013-11-25 07:06:41 PM  
She sounds real solid on her most personal views and values since she was ashamed to share them with a guy she was considering marrying.
 
2013-11-25 07:10:14 PM  
That can't possibly be real?
 
2013-11-25 07:21:17 PM  
Compromise:  You do the religious thing but she has to obey the husband as the bible says.

Sounds like a pretty easy answer to me.  :)
 
2013-11-25 07:30:05 PM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Charlie Chingas: Guess she wanted Jesus inside her.

Oh God, YES!

[lh4.ggpht.com image 400x228]


It's not known as "The Ecstasy of Saint Theresa" for nothing, ya know.

"I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teresa_of_%C3%81vila
 
2013-11-25 07:47:34 PM  

Heamer: Contrary to popular belief, the surprisology faction of the Catholic church hasn't been dying off, but rather simply lying in wait.


You know, we really should have seen that coming.
 
2013-11-25 08:02:23 PM  

cnocnanrionnag: Re: the veracity of the man's 'letter'...

CSB:   In the 1980's I began to date a woman.  Things went great.  We talked, and agreed upon many issues.  Kids? Yep, a couple.  Religion?  Nope, atheists both.  Politics? Liberal both.  etc. etc. right down the line.  Perfect.  After a year she moved in with me.  Perfect.  Until it all unravelled in one morning:
Me:  Nice day, what about an outing?  Zoo?  Waterfront?
Her:  Nope, can't today.
Me: Oh, not well? Better idea?
Her:  No, just can't go out today.
Me:  Why not?  You're sure you're ok?
Her:  No, I can't!!  It's not the right day.
Me:  Right day?  Explanation?
Her:  My chart.  My chart says I can't go out today.
Me:  What chart? To what do you refer?
Her:  <shows me an astrological chart, very detailed for each day, clearly says to stay indoors that day>
Me:  WTF etc.
Her:  <crying>  I knew this would happen, I knew it....

Subsequent conversation revealed that she paid an astrologer $100 a month for this detailed chart and she farking well followed it and had done so for many years.   I am a card-carrying skeptic and her not revealing this during courtship as well as the mere fact that she would follow this woo-woo astrology shiat (or that I  would never do so)  ended the relationship then and there.

So potential partners DO hide stuff about themselves in order to further a relationship.  Even deep core values.

Bonus punchline:  Her 'chart' about me called me the best husband material she could ever find.  She showed it to me as a 'reason' we should stay together and try to work things out.

Yeah, right.


CSB backatcha:

Dated a woman for over 6 years, late 20's to early 30's. Both of us young, educated, white collar professionals. Her family were Holy Rollers; Jesus was a part of most discussions and her mother spoke in tongues during services. Their daughter was, how shall I say, not so straight and narrow. She and all her friends smoked pot, she liked to get freaky, and she was apologetic about her crazy family when they laid on the proselytizing especially heavy at Easter, Christmas, etc. We both just smiled and nodded a lot when with her family and there was no conflict. At all. We moved in together after the first year, and had been blissfully happy for over four years when I proposed and she accepted.

The engagement announcement to her family was met with two reactions. Publicly they hugged me, said congratulations, and told me welcome to the family. Behind closed doors they took my fiance aside and told her I'd need to convert and become born again if I was going to marry their daughter. She resisted at first, but about the time we're sending out wedding invitations she comes home and announces that she's been re-baptized and has accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. I'm dumbfounded, but I tell her if it makes her happy then we'll make it work.

A few weeks later we head over to her parents' house for dinner. No special occasion, just a family dinner. When I walk in the door there are 25+ people crammed in the living room all seated in a semi-circle and looking at me. My fiance's mother then announces that this is an intervention for my eternal soul, and I see the crowd includes their pastor, extended family, and even a couple of our "mutual" friends that attended the same church. I felt like I'd just walked into the mating ceremony in Rosemary's Baby. The pastor then explains that everyone in the room loves me and that my fiance had arranged the intervention so that I could find Christ. It then is made clear that if I'm not willing to get born again my fiance is planning to call off the wedding. After talking with her privately for a few minutes I said goodbye and left without a word to the assembled cabal.

I saw my former fiance once after that; she came to our condo with a bunch of dudes to remove her belongings and take half of mine. I didn't object- it was a small price to pay for being saved.
 
2013-11-25 08:10:07 PM  
This is so obviously fake, even the Agony Aunt it's written to suspects as much. The primary reason being because Catholic and most Protestant/Evangelical/Fundie teaching states you shouldn't marry nonbelievers.

Some redditor or /b/tard is laughing his ass off over all the erstwhile secularists clucking their tongues indignantly because of his little troll.

Of course somebody had to create a Wikipedia page about this new phenomenon of missionary dating. It references an about.com article and an atheist dating guide, both of which mention their examples are strictly hypothetical. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missionary_dating

I swear, sometimes people are so credulous.
 
2013-11-25 08:20:28 PM  

exick: Marcus Aurelius: Sounds fake to me.  I never met a fervent Christian that could keep it under wraps.  Unless she's one of those girls that simply said anything it took to rope a hubby in and now she's going to implement her "real" plan.  In which case you pack your shiat and leave immediately.

And don't ever, ever look back. Not even for a second. If it's not fake, it's Grade A crazy that you don't want to be within 100 miles of, religion or not.


Only 100? How about 2000 or across large bodies of water. If you can't make it impossible for them to get to you, then you can at least have enough distance so that you can see them coming on the horizon and prepare your tower defense.
 
2013-11-25 08:28:57 PM  
Had a few Mormon friends who described a conversion strategy they had been taught at church: "Date 'em, Dunk 'em, Dump 'em. The three D's.". I became aware of this when one of my friends warned me off dating a cute guy from her church because he had declared me a target of such actions.

"He would never marry you even if you did convert," this friend confided. (As if I was worried about MARRYING someone at the age of 17!) "His family has been Mormon for generations, they frown on wedding converts."

I was so skeeved out at this.
I believe missionary dating exists, but I bet it came into existence as a way for some religious people to justify feelings they had for people it would be utterly unacceptable for them to persue otherwise.
 
2013-11-25 09:13:27 PM  
"Like weaving a rope from hemp, it takes three to make a successful marriage" - actual nautically-themed sermon at the first church wedding I attended. "Husband, wife, and Jesus Christ".

I realized about then that the church's greatest source of power was being able to pimp out the poontang. If the only way to get nookie was to be married and the only way to get married was through church, then suddenly every policy they have about sex and childbirth makes sense behind the lens of growing their population of loyal minions.
 
2013-11-25 09:22:15 PM  

letrole: the amusing thing here is the way that internet atheists are too farking dumb (or perhaps just willfully obtuse) to grasp the idea that agony aunts make up the letters they answer


Trolling is a religion
 
2013-11-25 09:55:05 PM  
I'd be inclined to give her an ultimatum. Reject God and abandon her church, or divorce. Win-win.
 
2013-11-25 09:55:57 PM  

Kymry: Had a few Mormon friends who described a conversion strategy they had been taught at church: "Date 'em, Dunk 'em, Dump 'em. The three D's.". I became aware of this when one of my friends warned me off dating a cute guy from her church because he had declared me a target of such actions.

"He would never marry you even if you did convert," this friend confided. (As if I was worried about MARRYING someone at the age of 17!) "His family has been Mormon for generations, they frown on wedding converts."

I was so skeeved out at this.
I believe missionary dating exists, but I bet it came into existence as a way for some religious people to justify feelings they had for people it would be utterly unacceptable for them to persue otherwise.


If you're dumb enough to date a hyper-religious person, you deserve whatever you get.
 
2013-11-25 10:16:11 PM  

Begoggle: letrole: the amusing thing here is the way that internet atheists are too farking dumb (or perhaps just willfully obtuse) to grasp the idea that agony aunts make up the letters they answer

Trolling is a religion


His surname is Le Trôle.

/my surname is yeah right
 
2013-11-25 10:45:50 PM  
www.blogforarizona.com
 
2013-11-25 11:23:15 PM  

Mouser: Marcus Aurelius: Sounds fake to me.  I never met a fervent Christian that could keep it under wraps.  Unless she's one of those girls that simply said anything it took to rope a hubby in and now she's going to implement her "real" plan.  In which case you pack your shiat and leave immediately.

Given that one of the, if not the, main things about being a fervent Christian is NOT keeping it under wraps, I have to assume that the wife is not the only loon here.



Fervent christians lie all the time. If anything I think their religion makes them more likely to lie, not less. While this letter may very well be made up I don't think the story is all that far-fetched.
 
2013-11-26 12:48:06 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: Sounds fake to me. I never met a fervent Christian that could keep it under wraps. Unless she's one of those girls that simply said anything it took to rope a hubby in and now she's going to implement her "real" plan. In which case you pack your shiat and leave immediately.


I think that's exactly what it is--rope-a-hubby.
 
2013-11-26 02:00:57 AM  

StopLurkListen: The story in the article aside, "agnostic" does not mean "not religious" or "atheist". It's more of a "decline to state".


O.o
 
2013-11-26 05:16:06 AM  

StopLurkListen: BolshyGreatYarblocks: Charlie Chingas: Guess she wanted Jesus inside her.

Oh God, YES!

[lh4.ggpht.com image 400x228]

It's not known as "The Ecstasy of Saint Theresa" for nothing, ya know.

"I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it... "  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teresa_of_%C3%81vila


Farking catholics, what a twisted bunch.
 
2013-11-26 06:51:34 AM  

cnocnanrionnag: Re: the veracity of the man's 'letter'...

CSB:   In the 1980's I began to date a woman.  Things went great.  We talked, and agreed upon many issues.  Kids? Yep, a couple.  Religion?  Nope, atheists both.  Politics? Liberal both.  etc. etc. right down the line.  Perfect.  After a year she moved in with me.  Perfect.  Until it all unravelled in one morning:
Me:  Nice day, what about an outing?  Zoo?  Waterfront?
Her:  Nope, can't today.
Me: Oh, not well? Better idea?
Her:  No, just can't go out today.
Me:  Why not?  You're sure you're ok?
Her:  No, I can't!!  It's not the right day.
Me:  Right day?  Explanation?
Her:  My chart.  My chart says I can't go out today.
Me:  What chart? To what do you refer?
Her:  <shows me an astrological chart, very detailed for each day, clearly says to stay indoors that day>
Me:  WTF etc.
Her:  <crying>  I knew this would happen, I knew it....

Subsequent conversation revealed that she paid an astrologer $100 a month for this detailed chart and she farking well followed it and had done so for many years.   I am a card-carrying skeptic and her not revealing this during courtship as well as the mere fact that she would follow this woo-woo astrology shiat (or that I  would never do so)  ended the relationship then and there.

So potential partners DO hide stuff about themselves in order to further a relationship.  Even deep core values.

Bonus punchline:  Her 'chart' about me called me the best husband material she could ever find.  She showed it to me as a 'reason' we should stay together and try to work things out.

Yeah, right.


Seems to me you missed the opportunity to slip the astrologer $200 a month, and get the perfect wife for the rest of your life.  "Oh, no, honey, your chart says it's 'Steak and BJ Day' again...third time this week.  What are the odds?"
 
2013-11-26 07:22:52 AM  

Albertan: This is so obviously fake, even the Agony Aunt it's written to suspects as much. The primary reason being because Catholic and most Protestant/Evangelical/Fundie teaching states you shouldn't marry nonbelievers.

Some redditor or /b/tard is laughing his ass off over all the erstwhile secularists clucking their tongues indignantly because of his little troll.

Of course somebody had to create a Wikipedia page about this new phenomenon of missionary dating. It references an about.com article and an atheist dating guide, both of which mention their examples are strictly hypothetical. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missionary_dating

I swear, sometimes people are so credulous.


I don't believe you.
 
2013-11-26 08:23:43 AM  

caddisfly: I saw my former fiance once after that; she came to our condo with a bunch of dudes to remove her belongings and take half of mine. I didn't object- it was a small price to pay for being saved.


Why did they take half your stuff?
 
2013-11-26 09:37:05 AM  
The ones I feel bad for are the couples that have a multi-year marriage with a lot of time and emotional investment, then seemingly out of nowhere one of them (usually the wife) decides to get some Jesus and goes fundamental.  Suddenly after 20 years dude is looking for something to do five nights a week while she's hanging out at the Vision of Life Redeemed By His Love Church of Everlasting Truth (Primative-Reformed).
 
2013-11-26 10:19:35 AM  

SBinRR: The ones I feel bad for are the couples that have a multi-year marriage with a lot of time and emotional investment, then seemingly out of nowhere one of them (usually the wife) decides to get some Jesus and goes fundamental.  Suddenly after 20 years dude is looking for something to do five nights a week while she's hanging out at the Vision of Life Redeemed By His Love Church of Everlasting Truth (Primative-Reformed).


Most of these situations the wife(or husband, it happens the other way sometimes too) was already Christian, and is reacting to a traumatic life event.
 
2013-11-26 10:41:37 AM  

ikanreed: SBinRR: The ones I feel bad for are the couples that have a multi-year marriage with a lot of time and emotional investment, then seemingly out of nowhere one of them (usually the wife) decides to get some Jesus and goes fundamental.  Suddenly after 20 years dude is looking for something to do five nights a week while she's hanging out at the Vision of Life Redeemed By His Love Church of Everlasting Truth (Primative-Reformed).

Most of these situations the wife(or husband, it happens the other way sometimes too) was already Christian, and is reacting to a traumatic life event.


That happened to my sister and her hubby. He tried to hang on for a few years after she went all fundie, but eventually he divorced her. He just couldn't take it anymore. I'm of the opinion that she has an undiagnosed personality disorder that has gotten worse over the years. And I think that her love of the Fox/Beck/Palin insanity machine over the years didn't help things. She didn't work and had all the time in the word to be exposed to the "liberal" media, while he was working 2 jobs to support them.
 
2013-11-26 10:48:15 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: Now, instead of our not wanting any kids, she wants at least five and maybe more. Instead of no religion, she wants strict adherence to her religion. I feel I've been duped and that she's lied to me about herself. Is there any way out of this short of divorce?

Until she drops all her demands, only stick it in her pooper.

Either way you'll come out ahead and she'll come out behind.


Marcus Aurelius: Sounds fake to me.  I never met a fervent Christian that could keep it under wraps.  Unless she's one of those girls that simply said anything it took to rope a hubby in and now she's going to implement her "real" plan.  In which case you pack your shiat and leave immediately.


make up your minds guys, who's shiat is getting packed here?
 
2013-11-26 11:26:55 AM  

Medic Zero: StopLurkListen: BolshyGreatYarblocks: Charlie Chingas: Guess she wanted Jesus inside her.

Oh God, YES!

[lh4.ggpht.com image 400x228]

It's not known as "The Ecstasy of Saint Theresa" for nothing, ya know.

"I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it... "  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teresa_of_%C3%81vila

Farking catholics, what a twisted bunch.


Nothing like repressed sexual desires in plaid skirts...
 
2013-11-26 12:37:29 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: caddisfly: I saw my former fiance once after that; she came to our condo with a bunch of dudes to remove her belongings and take half of mine. I didn't object- it was a small price to pay for being saved.

Why did they take half your stuff?


I never asked. We lived together for over 5 years. She took half of everything I owned as if it were some kind of divorce (when she arrived with the van and her friends I left for a fishing trip). I was simply happy to simply move on.
 
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