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(Jezebel)   Science proves being a drunk won't hurt your marriage, as long as your significant other is one too   (jezebel.com) divider line 95
    More: Unlikely, divorce rates  
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4462 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Nov 2013 at 2:26 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



95 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-25 01:21:19 PM  
Yeah, drunks aren't nearly as much fun when you're sober.
 
2013-11-25 01:22:30 PM  
Police who have responded to domestic dispute calls disagree.
 
2013-11-25 02:03:14 PM  
Well, shared hobbies are the cornerstone of a good relationship.
 
2013-11-25 02:21:05 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Well, shared hobbies are the cornerstone of a good relationship.


You're damn right!

*hic*
 
2013-11-25 02:27:06 PM  
In some cases it may be a requirement actually
 
2013-11-25 02:31:08 PM  
"Our results indicate that it is the difference between the couple's drinking habits, rather than the drinking itself, that leads to marital dissatisfaction, separation and divorce."

I think you have that backwards. Marital dissatisfaction probably leads to the drinking.
 
2013-11-25 02:31:11 PM  
What if she's a drunken slut, and abusive? Does that count?
 
2013-11-25 02:31:35 PM  
Which pretty much explains why I'm single.
 
2013-11-25 02:33:35 PM  

vudukungfu: What if she's a drunken slut, and abusive? Does that count?


It counts as some nice warm-up pillow talk, for sure!
 
2013-11-25 02:34:28 PM  
www.standbyformindcontrol.com
Yeah.  These two are tons of fun at parties.
 
2013-11-25 02:34:35 PM  
I'm a big believer in "in vino veritas." If you're a selfish sh*thead while drunk, you're probably just a marginally better disguised selfish sh*thead when sober.

/Happy drunks FTW
//I'll drink to that
 
2013-11-25 02:35:15 PM  

Diogenes: Police who have responded to domestic dispute calls disagree.


The couple that lived below me years ago would get drunk about once a month and get in fights, cops would come, break it up but it never seemed like charges were filed.
//not my problem and did not care outside of the noise
 
2013-11-25 02:37:20 PM  
a5.mzstatic.com

Actually an excellent movie.
 
2013-11-25 02:37:52 PM  

fireclown: [www.standbyformindcontrol.com image 495x350]
Yeah.  These two are tons of fun at parties.


That was meth, not alcohol.

In any event, I fail to see how violent drunks don't hurt a marriage, regardless of whether both are or not.
 
2013-11-25 02:38:43 PM  
I drink alone with nobody else.
 
2013-11-25 02:39:31 PM  
 
2013-11-25 02:39:52 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: I'm a big believer in "in vino veritas." If you're a selfish sh*thead while drunk, you're probably just a marginally better disguised selfish sh*thead when sober.

/Happy drunks FTW
//I'll drink to that


Probably some of that. Also that as people become dissatisfied with their relationship, they begin to resent the shortcomings of their partner. A non/light drinker is going to key on her partner's heavy drinking and resent it versus someone who shares the same lifestyle.
 
2013-11-25 02:41:01 PM  
See how well they get along?
 
2013-11-25 02:41:05 PM  
CSB: I found out in year 3 of my marriage that my wife is an alcoholic.  4 years later, she is still (bravely) trying to get sober.  I can tell you that alcoholism obviously puts a MAJOR strain on a marriage.  I can't decide if I want to punch the author of this article because the analysis is so painfully shallow and vapid, or because I'm just channelling my frustrations.
 
2013-11-25 02:43:05 PM  
(Thanks for "throwing away" the image, Fark)

>ahem<


img.fark.net
See how well they get along?
 
2013-11-25 02:43:20 PM  

runningesq: CSB: I found out in year 3 of my marriage that my wife is an alcoholic. 4 years later, she is still (bravely) trying to get sober.


How does one hide that for 3 years (plus however long you were together before marriage)?
 
2013-11-25 02:45:34 PM  
...so you're saying there's a chance?

\o/
 
2013-11-25 02:45:40 PM  
lh3.googleusercontent.com

- What are we going to do about us?
- Well, we are going to drink, I hope.
 
2013-11-25 02:45:42 PM  

runningesq: CSB: I found out in year 3 of my marriage that my wife is an alcoholic.  4 years later, she is still (bravely) trying to get sober.  I can tell you that alcoholism obviously puts a MAJOR strain on a marriage.  I can't decide if I want to punch the author of this article because the analysis is so painfully shallow and vapid, or because I'm just channelling my frustrations.


I think you should punch everyone at Jezebel. You'll feel better.
 
2013-11-25 02:45:50 PM  

dv-ous: Actually an excellent movie.


Also, days of wine and roses*

*offer may be void for the female
 
2013-11-25 02:46:01 PM  
If they can both handle their hooch and things never get out of hand, sure.

But, I've known couples where both partners drank heavily and neither one had any self control. Not a good combo.
 
2013-11-25 02:47:14 PM  
a.abcnews.com
 
2013-11-25 02:50:54 PM  
Meh, as long as the couple are the happy drunk kind, and not the argumentative violet drunk type. Ms Buzzcut v2.0 and I do like our beer, and we're both happy drunk people that never argue anyway, so it's all good.

Ms Buzzcut v 1.0 was an ultraconservative southern baptist, so yeah, my liking to have a six pack in the fridge was a problem. After all, her mother may come by and -gasp- see that a grown man of legal age might possess beer in his own home. Not surprisingly, that marriage didn't last long, though whether or not beer was allowed in the house was just one of many reasons that marrying an ultra conservative southern baptist turned out to be a really bad idea.
 
2013-11-25 02:54:05 PM  

lilplatinum: runningesq: CSB: I found out in year 3 of my marriage that my wife is an alcoholic. 4 years later, she is still (bravely) trying to get sober.

How does one hide that for 3 years (plus however long you were together before marriage)?


Good question.  Basically, she had a sales job where she didn't really have to be any where at any particular time.  We were a very social couple, so we drank socially....I thought it was cute that she was wasted after 1 glass of wine, not realizing she had had 5 bourbons before I got home.  In hindsight a lot makes sense, but now that I have studied the disease of alcoholism as I have, I can tell you that true alcoholics hide it VERY VERY WELL.
 
2013-11-25 02:55:57 PM  

buzzcut73: my liking to have a six pack in the fridge was a problem. After all, her mother may come by and -gasp- see that a grown man of legal age might possess beer in his own home. Not surprisingly, that marriage didn't last long, though whether or not beer was allowed in the house was just one of many reasons that marrying an ultra conservative southern baptist turned out to be a really bad idea.


Replace Southern Baptist with Morman, and you have the story of Mrs. vudukungfu the first.

That, and running off to Vegas with my neighbor, car, and credit cards.
 
2013-11-25 02:56:28 PM  

ladyfortuna: "Our results indicate that it is the difference between the couple's drinking habits, rather than the drinking itself, that leads to marital dissatisfaction, separation and divorce."

I think you have that backwards. Marital dissatisfaction probably leads to the drinking.



Ya, blame the non-drinker.
 
2013-11-25 02:57:45 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
"Who cares what evil lurks in the hearts of men?"
"Unless evil is carrying the martini tray, darling."

/clink
 
2013-11-25 02:57:45 PM  

uncleacid: I drink alone with nobody else.


Are you bad to the bone?
 
2013-11-25 02:59:01 PM  
I thought that was the cause of the Florida tag.
 
2013-11-25 03:00:01 PM  

The water was cold: uncleacid: I drink alone with nobody else.

Are you bad to the bone?


One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.
 
2013-11-25 03:03:31 PM  

Son of Thunder: The water was cold: uncleacid: I drink alone with nobody else.

Are you bad to the bone?

One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.


That don't confront me. Long as I get my money next Friday.
 
2013-11-25 03:03:40 PM  
My roomate is an alcoholic and I can tell you most of her relationships have ended due to her drinking. I have to hide my own stash from her. A bottle of rum will last me a month, it lasts her a couple days. The only thing I really hate about it is usually I am the one that has to clean up her aftermath when she is drunk and decides to cook and leaves a huge mess and passes out for a day. Or when she takes a piss on the kitchen floor, I almost hit her with a rolled up newspaper for that one.
 
2013-11-25 03:06:06 PM  
And whoever sobers up first, gets to claim the moral high ground. Not that it's worth a lot.
 
2013-11-25 03:06:48 PM  
I know my marriage started going south when I backed off the drinking

/and my ex took it upon herself to take up the slack
 
2013-11-25 03:06:53 PM  
There are plenty of alcoholics who aren't violent angry bastards.

I don't think the alcohol has a net positive effect on their quality of life (is the pleasure of drinking worth the odd dui and generally lower income - both in terms of a lower salary and less money to spend on things after the booze is purchased?), ime with those folks. However, I do know couples who are both heavy drinkers who are doing just fine, and I don't see why

Besides, let's remember who does most of these studies: people who define binge drinking as three or more drinks in a single night once a week.  I'm probably an alcoholic for drinking a six pack every saturday.
 
2013-11-25 03:07:57 PM  
The other half and I are basically lovers of alcohol. Perhaps we like to drink WAY too much but neither one of us seems to need it. 20+ years of mutually assured destruction
 
2013-11-25 03:09:07 PM  

groppet: My roomate is an alcoholic and I can tell you most of her relationships have ended due to her drinking. I have to hide my own stash from her. A bottle of rum will last me a month, it lasts her a couple days. The only thing I really hate about it is usually I am the one that has to clean up her aftermath when she is drunk and decides to cook and leaves a huge mess and passes out for a day. Or when she takes a piss on the kitchen floor, I almost hit her with a rolled up newspaper for that one.


"Why is the rum gone?!"
 
2013-11-25 03:10:32 PM  
I drink alone with nobody else.

Are you bad to the bone?


After a rough day and a six pack alone, I can be VERY bad to the bone.
 
2013-11-25 03:11:04 PM  

Smackledorfer: There are plenty of alcoholics who aren't violent angry bastards.

I don't think the alcohol has a net positive effect on their quality of life (is the pleasure of drinking worth the odd dui and generally lower income - both in terms of a lower salary and less money to spend on things after the booze is purchased?), ime with those folks. However, I do know couples who are both heavy drinkers who are doing just fine, and I don't see why

Besides, let's remember who does most of these studies: people who define binge drinking as three or more drinks in a single night once a week.  I'm probably an alcoholic for drinking a six pack every saturday.


This, BTW.
 
2013-11-25 03:11:53 PM  
"The study also found that marriages where only the woman was a heavy drinker had a slightly higher divorce rate, though the number of couples this was detected in is not statistically significant...
I for one hope that this premise is tackled next. I love it when science proves that sexism exists in all aspects of our lives."



 Just in case you forgot you're reading Jezebel.
 
2013-11-25 03:12:19 PM  

groppet: My roomate is an alcoholic and I can tell you most of her relationships have ended due to her drinking. I have to hide my own stash from her. A bottle of rum will last me a month, it lasts her a couple days. The only thing I really hate about it is usually I am the one that has to clean up her aftermath when she is drunk and decides to cook and leaves a huge mess and passes out for a day. Or when she takes a piss on the kitchen floor, I almost hit her with a rolled up newspaper for that one.



An alcoholic who still has the same unfinished bottle 24 hours later sure is a lame excuse for an alcoholic.
 
2013-11-25 03:12:56 PM  

buzzcut73: Ms Buzzcut v 1.0 was an ultraconservative southern baptist, so yeah, my liking to have a six pack in the fridge was a problem. After all, her mother may come by and -gasp- see that a grown man of legal age might possess beer in his own home. Not surprisingly, that marriage didn't last long, though whether or not beer was allowed in the house was just one of many reasons that marrying an ultra conservative southern baptist turned out to be a really bad idea.


Not to judge, but how on earth did you not foresee that as a major sticking point?

My parents don't get on well anymore for similar reasons, but my dad swears she wasn't a teetotaling prude when he married her. They won't be getting a divorce or anything, but my mother has to make a snide comment every time he and I have a beer or a cigar, like they are the vices of satan.  I used to make it a point to ensure that she would get less benefit out of the comments than gain, but at this point I don't think she is physically or mentally capable of restraining herself.  If a guy on tv shows his six-pack or a girl is in a bikini, she makes a comment about how disgusting all the rampant sex is. And I don't mean like a soft-core porn sex scene, I mean like, the scenario is people are on a beach doing beach stuff.
 
2013-11-25 03:18:46 PM  

mycathatesyou: Ya, blame the non-drinker.


When did I specify which person was at fault? Oh wait, I didn't.
 
2013-11-25 03:20:08 PM  
Jezebel should team up with Opposing Views to form "News for Morons".
 
2013-11-25 03:24:34 PM  
My then-girlfriend and I got busted for underage consumption together.  You bet your ass I threw a ring on that!
 
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