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(Fox News)   "Why women still need husbands." Rage all you want, but who the hell else are you going to get to kill those spiders?   (foxnews.com) divider line 362
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8339 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Nov 2013 at 2:05 AM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-25 12:35:59 AM
CSB Time

I was sleeping in one morning when my girlfriend shook me awake. She had this look of horror on her face. This was a look that told me that someone had broken in and robbed us. It was a look I pray I never see because bad thing have happened. I panicked and demanded to know what had happened.

She looked at me and told me there was a spider on the AC. I had to kill it
 
2013-11-25 12:59:36 AM
Misread the headline, thought it said 'rape all you want'.

That's about what your ex might could do to you, if your blessed union ends.  Alternative marriages too.  If you have any nuts to protect, or plan to parent together, consider getting advice about a written agreement before you place your bits between those particular slats.
 
2013-11-25 01:01:10 AM
Some women lead active lives and have many qualities similar to men.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-25 01:27:49 AM

Aar1012: CSB Time

I was sleeping in one morning when my girlfriend shook me awake. She had this look of horror on her face. This was a look that told me that someone had broken in and robbed us. It was a look I pray I never see because bad thing have happened. I panicked and demanded to know what had happened.

She looked at me and told me there was a spider on the AC. I had to kill it


Ditto here for a CSB. Moved to the SF Bay area. Saw a couple of widows around, said to Mrs FM that there was some inaccurate reports of Brown Recluse in the area. She told me that if she sees a spider, she won't be asking it what kind it is. She'll be screaming at me to do mortal combat with it.
 
2013-11-25 02:09:10 AM

Farxist Marxist: Aar1012: CSB Time

I was sleeping in one morning when my girlfriend shook me awake. She had this look of horror on her face. This was a look that told me that someone had broken in and robbed us. It was a look I pray I never see because bad thing have happened. I panicked and demanded to know what had happened.

She looked at me and told me there was a spider on the AC. I had to kill it

Ditto here for a CSB. Moved to the SF Bay area. Saw a couple of widows around, said to Mrs FM that there was some inaccurate reports of Brown Recluse in the area. She told me that if she sees a spider, she won't be asking it what kind it is. She'll be screaming at me to do mortal combat with it.


Hopefully you won't ever have to do that with a scorpion or a reptile.
 
2013-11-25 02:10:23 AM
So from reading the article. They don't need husbands they just need help to have a chance to have more balanced lives.
 
2013-11-25 02:13:00 AM
You can't take your paycheck to bed.

I'm sold.
 
2013-11-25 02:15:12 AM
Women will need husbands until they invent a vibrator that can mow the lawn.
 
2013-11-25 02:19:15 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-25 02:22:04 AM
I know what you're going to say. Where are these husbands on whom women can depend? And you're right: there are fewer men these days who seem eager to be primary breadwinners.
But ask yourself why, and I bet you know the answer.


Because women are coonts?
 
2013-11-25 02:22:18 AM
I'm not afraid of spiders though.

Even if I were, I have cats to take care of them.
 
2013-11-25 02:23:02 AM

Weatherkiss: [i.imgur.com image 500x400]


That's not nice. It is nearly 12:30 am here and I will need to sleep soon.
 
2013-11-25 02:23:29 AM

dambis: So from reading the article. They don't need husbands they just need help to have a chance to have more balanced lives.


Apparently my two wives married me for balance in their lives. They choose....poorly.
 
2013-11-25 02:24:04 AM

simplicimus: dambis: So from reading the article. They don't need husbands they just need help to have a chance to have more balanced lives.

Apparently my two wives married me for balance in their lives. They choose....poorly.


Chose, dammit.
 
2013-11-25 02:28:06 AM
Thirty years old. Unmarried. I trap spiders and put them outside. I own a lizard. I like snakes. I have a good mechanic.

/I get this lecture at work
 
2013-11-25 02:29:55 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-25 02:30:01 AM
I know this isn't very PC or anything...

But have you actually met itinerant bachelors or spinsters? They are easily, without a doubt, some of the most aggravating people to be around.

Oh, I know there's bad in every bunch, but I mean their percentage has to be off the charts. I recall growing up and occasionally meeting one or two, of either sex, who were still single and never married at their age and then hearing in hushed tones something along the lines of "Well, you know, they're not out or anything" and they were far and away the most tolerable, because that was just unfare and living in less understanding times.

But these days they're either emotionally damaged goods, fragile ego'd  braggarts, insufferable mopes, or all of those rolled into one.

If you're entering your 4th or 5th decade and haven't settled down (and I don't care about the folks who're basically married in every way but paper) there is a reason. The reason is you. You are unlikable. Obviously widows/widowers get a pass, as do most divorced people - at least they tried. I just have no patience for the sort of self centered egotist who takes some sort of vague pride in proudly dying alone.

Or the worst is those who are childless AND alone, or just never want children even if they have found someone to humor them. They're the creme de la creme of the frail, constantly whining about being asked general questions like if they're with another human being or wish to procreate; how dare people inflict their mores and norms on them so thoughtlessly. The sheer gall we have assuming, for even one moment, that not every man, woman, and child on this green earth isn't a special and unique snowflake who needs to be courted with only the most soft of kid gloves while dallying about with vagueries so we don't unintentionally offend. Trying as we might to traipse, ever so delicately, through the minefield of their taffeta and balsa wood psyche.

f**k 'em.

Also, unrelated note, I haven't had my evening cup of joe. So there's that.
 
2013-11-25 02:30:40 AM

simplicimus: simplicimus: dambis: So from reading the article. They don't need husbands they just need help to have a chance to have more balanced lives.

Apparently my two wives married me for balance in their lives. They choose....poorly.

Chose, dammit.


Actually, the present tense works pretty well.

/no idea why my marriage works well.  Grateful, though
 
2013-11-25 02:31:21 AM
What's really sad is that this is more of a commentary on men.  Women want balance, yet it's ok for a man not to.  A man should be focused on providing, working hard, earning money - not being a father or husband. Not making time for himself, his interests, his "exercise and social life".  So yes guys, throw away your dreams, your interests, your chances at happiness and fulfillment, and go support those women.  They need your support - but who will support you?

What an awful op ed.
 
2013-11-25 02:31:52 AM

Weatherkiss: [Big Spiders image]


Yeah, I'm going into that with range weapons to kill off the babies (409 or other spray cleanser works) before taking out the mommy with a baseball bat.
 
2013-11-25 02:33:19 AM
Researcher: <snipped whining>

f**k 'em.

Also, unrelated note, I haven't had my evening cu ...


So in other words "Anyone who does choose to live the life I think is ideal is wrong!"

And you talk about other people being insufferable.
 
2013-11-25 02:34:42 AM

Researcher: Also, unrelated note, I haven't had my evening cup of joe. So there's that.


Oh man. You should go visit 4chan's /r9k/ board.
 
2013-11-25 02:36:21 AM

Researcher: f**k 'em.


On behalf of single people everywhere, f*ck you too, buddy.
 
2013-11-25 02:37:10 AM

Enigmamf: Weatherkiss: [Big Spiders image]

Yeah, I'm going into that with range weapons to kill off the babies (409 or other spray cleanser works) before taking out the mommy with a baseball bat.


Wasp spray. Just make sure there's nothing you want under where you're aiming.
 
2013-11-25 02:37:14 AM

vat_man: simplicimus: simplicimus: dambis: So from reading the article. They don't need husbands they just need help to have a chance to have more balanced lives.

Apparently my two wives married me for balance in their lives. They choose....poorly.

Chose, dammit.

Actually, the present tense works pretty well.

/no idea why my marriage works well.  Grateful, though


My first one worked fine, until she got ill. That was five years of interesting times until she died. The second one is working fine. But both were/are partnerships, no power games or control.
 
2013-11-25 02:42:12 AM
I don't kill spiders in my house, I put them outside or I leave them alone. If I were to get remarried, it would be less for the arachnid killing and more for car maintenance. I never fully appreciated my ex until I realized I would have to do things like add oil to the car before the engine blew up or whatever. I think maybe I should learn to change a tire too...
 
2013-11-25 02:42:23 AM

sycraft: Researcher: <snipped whining>

f**k 'em.

Also, unrelated note, I haven't had my evening cu ...

So in other words "Anyone who does choose to live the life I think is ideal is wrong!"

And you talk about other people being insufferable.


See, and there's the rub. I don't think it's wrong - sure, I don't ascribe to it, it's clearly not my thing. It's that they wear it like a badge of honor and on the whole, are impossible to be around because they don't stop talking about it.

I can't remember the last I met an intinerant bachelor or spinster who didn't talk about just that, at length. I meet people all the time who never mention their relationship status. But not them, they seem to have a need to tell you about it. That's the intolerable part.

Also, you're not really punching above your weight when it comes to subverting the frailty of the ego thing, chummer.
 
2013-11-25 02:46:17 AM
Women are absolutely farked in the first world. They just can't win. No matter what, they are judged to be lacking. Develop an excellent career? Bad mother. Leave workforce to raise family? Lazy princess. Do both? Terrible wife.

If I was a woman, I would hate society.
 
2013-11-25 02:47:31 AM

Snapper Carr: [i.imgur.com image 310x293]


img.pandawhale.com

I *like* spiders.
 
2013-11-25 02:48:05 AM
Quick aside, and example I guess - I forgot where I saw or heard this recently but it was dead on.

Someone who was married was talking about how great his wife is. The conversation basically turned into - what the hell is wrong with that person? Sure, you get a pass in the first year, maybe, it JUST happened so it's a big topic for you. But even other married people don't want to hear about married people. Or single people. Or really anything to do with other peoples genitals and what they're doing with them in general conversation.

The death of politesse has borne much strange fruit.
 
2013-11-25 02:50:06 AM
We run an Arachnid Relocation Program in our house. She screens applicants and I move them outdoors.
 
2013-11-25 02:51:45 AM
In our house I handle the spider killing. They're my spouse's secret phobia. The time he had to handle it himself he used a can of WD40 and a lighter...
 
2013-11-25 02:53:21 AM
I think if you are finding everyone else insufferable, well the commonality there is you. You seem to be the one here going on, at length, you seem to be the one who has issues with it. My guess? You make the status of someone's relationship/family a big issue, and thus they respond. You then are surprised that they talk about it at length.

Here's a hint, if this really bothers you: Just don't bring it up. I don't seem to have the problems you do. At work we've a mix of everything. Married couples, single people, those with families and without. You can find old professors who devoted their life to their work and never found anyone, young kids freshly married and still glowing from their new relationship, single parents, those divorced, remarried, and everything thing in between. I find there's not a lot of talk about it. People don't go on about whatever their life happens to be. Nobody seems to be pushing their thing as the right way wearing it as a "badge of honour" or any of that shiat.

But then I haven't seen anyone like you who has a bee in their bonnet about it either. Nobody seems to make an issue of it because nobody seems to make an issue of it.

So I'm going to guess that the problem here is you, not everyone else. Usually a good guess when a person continually has the same problem with other people, over and over and over
 
2013-11-25 02:53:32 AM

Duck_of_Doom: What's really sad is that this is more of a commentary on men.  Women want balance, yet it's ok for a man not to.  A man should be focused on providing, working hard, earning money - not being a father or husband. Not making time for himself, his interests, his "exercise and social life".  So yes guys, throw away your dreams, your interests, your chances at happiness and fulfillment, and go support those women.  They need your support - but who will support you?

What an awful op ed.


Chivalry is dead dude.

Women grabbed onto the equality bat and beat it to death with it.
 
2013-11-25 02:58:41 AM

Researcher: Or the worst is those who are childless AND alone, or just never want children even if they have found someone to humor them. They're the creme de la creme of the frail, constantly whining about being asked general questions like if they're with another human being or wish to procreate; how dare people inflict their mores and norms on them so thoughtlessly. The sheer gall we have assuming, for even one moment, that not every man, woman, and child on this green earth isn't a special and unique snowflake who needs to be courted with only the most soft of kid gloves while dallying about with vagueries so we don't unintentionally offend. Trying as we might to traipse, ever so delicately, through the minefield of their taffeta and balsa wood psyche.


Really, people who don't want kids are terrible? I only biatch when my mom won't drop it. I think she saw me as her best hope for grandkids, so now that I'm married, it's a regular argument where she tries to tell me that I'm wrong for not wanting them. If someone else asks about when/if I'm having kids, I just politely say no. My reasons for not wanting them are my own and quite valid, and the same goes for my husband's reasons.
 
2013-11-25 02:58:50 AM

not_an_indigo: I'm not afraid of spiders though.

Even if I were, I have cats to take care of them.


FYI, when women have cats (plural) then the risk of having to actively choose to stay single is very low.
 
2013-11-25 02:59:10 AM

Researcher: I can't remember the last I met an intinerant bachelor or spinster who didn't talk about just that, at length. I meet people all the time who never mention their relationship status. But not them, they seem to have a need to tell you about it. That's the intolerable part.

Also, you're not really punching above your weight when it comes to subverting the frailty of the ego thing, chummer.


So.....ya don't think there's any single folk in that underlined group?
 
2013-11-25 02:59:17 AM
Research shows that what women want more than anything else is not to work full-time

Guess feminists were right. WE ARE EQUAL.
 
2013-11-25 02:59:47 AM
I've tried marriage - twice. And I have come to the conclusion that I'm the problem - therefore, not doing that shiat again.

I leave the spiders to the most dependable housemate I've had - the cat.
 
2013-11-25 03:00:21 AM
I remember when Republicans freaked out when Murphy Brown did it.

meh.
 
2013-11-25 03:01:18 AM

sycraft: Researcher: <snipped whining>

f**k 'em.

Also, unrelated note, I haven't had my evening cu ...

So in other words "Anyone who does choose to live the life I think is ideal is wrong!"

And you talk about other people being insufferable.


Isn't that how most married/breeder people are? "Oh dear, you MUST enter into a relationship, that's the ONLY way you'll EVER be happy!!!!"
 
2013-11-25 03:02:59 AM

The more you eat the more you fart: Duck_of_Doom: What's really sad is that this is more of a commentary on men.  Women want balance, yet it's ok for a man not to.  A man should be focused on providing, working hard, earning money - not being a father or husband. Not making time for himself, his interests, his "exercise and social life".  So yes guys, throw away your dreams, your interests, your chances at happiness and fulfillment, and go support those women.  They need your support - but who will support you?

What an awful op ed.

Chivalry is dead dude.

Women grabbed onto the equality bat and beat it to death with it.


Chivalry was an exchange.  Both parties were expected to do their part.  The feminists decided they didn't like chivalry so, as you said, beat it to death with the bat of equality.  Then they discovered they actually liked the part of chivalry expected of men.  That whole women and children first, take the most dangerous jobs, work your ass off to provide bit.  We men, however, are starting to realize we're getting a bit farked in this new bargain.

We aren't asking for much.  Just a sammich and a beej on a regular basis.  Well, and the right to tell you to "shut the fark up" when you're nagging us about trivial shiat without you claiming abuse.
 
2013-11-25 03:03:17 AM

sycraft: I think if you are finding everyone else insufferable, well the commonality there is you. You seem to be the one here going on, at length, you seem to be the one who has issues with it. My guess? You make the status of someone's relationship/family a big issue, and thus they respond. You then are surprised that they talk about it at length.

Here's a hint, if this really bothers you: Just don't bring it up. I don't seem to have the problems you do. At work we've a mix of everything. Married couples, single people, those with families and without. You can find old professors who devoted their life to their work and never found anyone, young kids freshly married and still glowing from their new relationship, single parents, those divorced, remarried, and everything thing in between. I find there's not a lot of talk about it. People don't go on about whatever their life happens to be. Nobody seems to be pushing their thing as the right way wearing it as a "badge of honour" or any of that shiat.

But then I haven't seen anyone like you who has a bee in their bonnet about it either. Nobody seems to make an issue of it because nobody seems to make an issue of it.

So I'm going to guess that the problem here is you, not everyone else. Usually a good guess when a person continually has the same problem with other people, over and over and over


I disagree entirely. As a matter of course I never bring up that sort of thing. I find it up there with discussing how much you make as just - rude isn't even the word - beyond gauche. My ire has been earned in direct response to having this brought up around me, a lot. And as I said, it's a matter of percentages - I originally said their percentages have to be way up there because it doesn't happen with other people.

You can go ahead and think I'm some sort of reverse cretin with an illegitimately gripe - we're disagreeing on a message board - the stakes couldn't be lower. I'm just saying you have me pegged wrong. I am glad it's something you haven't experienced much, it beats the alternative. But your argument could made absurd by switching any number of terms around. "I've never experienced that sort of ____ism, it's not a big deal, must be you." You get the idea. We simply have different life experiences, clearly. Mine just happens to have more insufferable cat hoarders apparently.
 
2013-11-25 03:03:36 AM

Smoking GNU: Oh dear, you MUST enter into a relationship, that's the ONLY way you'll EVER be happy!!!!"


You've obviously never met a married person.
 
2013-11-25 03:04:04 AM

festygrrl: I've tried marriage - twice. And I have come to the conclusion that I'm the problem - therefore, not doing that shiat again.

I leave the spiders to the most dependable housemate I've had - the cat.


I don't know if I'd call me cat dependable when it comes to bug elimination. His enthusiasm exceeds his hunting skills, to put it mildly. It is a good thing for him that his food comes from a bowl, as stalking an immovable object is about all he's good at :). For bugs, orthoboric acid works wonders.
 
2013-11-25 03:04:55 AM

Researcher: I know this isn't very PC or anything...

But have you actually met itinerant bachelors or spinsters? They are easily, without a doubt, some of the most aggravating people to be around.

Oh, I know there's bad in every bunch, but I mean their percentage has to be off the charts. I recall growing up and occasionally meeting one or two, of either sex, who were still single and never married at their age and then hearing in hushed tones something along the lines of "Well, you know, they're not out or anything" and they were far and away the most tolerable, because that was just unfare and living in less understanding times.

But these days they're either emotionally damaged goods, fragile ego'd  braggarts, insufferable mopes, or all of those rolled into one.

If you're entering your 4th or 5th decade and haven't settled down (and I don't care about the folks who're basically married in every way but paper) there is a reason. The reason is you. You are unlikable. Obviously widows/widowers get a pass, as do most divorced people - at least they tried. I just have no patience for the sort of self centered egotist who takes some sort of vague pride in proudly dying alone.

Or the worst is those who are childless AND alone, or just never want children even if they have found someone to humor them. They're the creme de la creme of the frail, constantly whining about being asked general questions like if they're with another human being or wish to procreate; how dare people inflict their mores and norms on them so thoughtlessly. The sheer gall we have assuming, for even one moment, that not every man, woman, and child on this green earth isn't a special and unique snowflake who needs to be courted with only the most soft of kid gloves while dallying about with vagueries so we don't unintentionally offend. Trying as we might to traipse, ever so delicately, through the minefield of their taffeta and balsa wood psyche.

f**k 'em.

Also, unrelated note, I haven't had my evening cu ...


Jesus.  I thought you were standing right behind me.  Are you watching me on a webcam or something?
 
2013-11-25 03:06:49 AM

festygrrl: I've tried marriage - twice. And I have come to the conclusion that I'm the problem - therefore, not doing that shiat again.


Ditto.  Eventually you have to recognize the one common factor in all your failed relationships.  Yes, my two exes were huge factors in our marriage failures, but I am not entirely innocent.
 
2013-11-25 03:11:21 AM
I think the majority of people do well with a wife/husband. We're simply not built (biologically speaking) to be independent/single. Most people that I know do FAR better when they're in a relationship with a decent person. Some people just can't find mate... some people just don't want to.

I know one guy in his 50's who has been single for almost all of his life because he's creepy and mentally fixated on conspiracy theories.

Another guy I know has always been kind of crazy and also gives off the creepy vibe to people. Oddly also into conspiracy theories, but this guy went from being a little weird to full on super religious creationist wacko. Even to the point where he believes that people can regrow limbs through faith healing.

A woman I know is in her late 50's now and has been single for most of her life. She's mentioned an interest in big, hairy, bear-like men, but I've never actually seen or heard of her being involved with one. She's generally pretty mentally stable and very nice but not very physically attractive (even in pictures when she was young).

My ex wife is single over and over again. I was her second husband. I married her because I got her pregnant (she took herself off the pill and didn't tell me)... it was a bad choice. The relationship was already pretty shiatty then, but I thought I could make it work (I was wrong about that). Her first marriage didn't last very long either. She's had failed relationship after failed relationship her whole life. According to her, the problem is everyone else.

My wife and I have been married now for 9 years and been together for roughly 11 years. We're very happy in our relationship. We're both fully aware that we both bring strengths and weaknesses to the table. We compliment each other very well and for us it really works out nicely. I hear people complain about marriages all the time and if I had only had my first marriage, I might agree with them, but a good marriage is really a good thing. At least it has been for my wife and I.
 
2013-11-25 03:11:58 AM

GodComplex: Women will need husbands until they invent a vibrator that can mow the lawn.


And has a steady income and will put up with their bullshiat (that goes both ways).
 
2013-11-25 03:12:07 AM

not_an_indigo: I'm not afraid of spiders though.

Even if I were, I have cats to take care of them.


Spiders bother me, and I prefer to not see them ever, but I can handle them myself (unless I'm at my parents' house, that's what my little brother is for). I'd leave them alone, but then I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the fact that there's a spider in the apartment, and capturing tends to turn out poorly since I panic if they touch me. Husband and I have a trade-off: I handle all spiders. He will holler for me if he finds one. He, in return, handles any other bug I request him to. He joked that if it came down to it and we were both running from a spider, he'd trip me as bait.

My dog handles fruit flies for me if some come in with the groceries. It's hilarious to watch. And I figure I should just be grateful I'm not finding grasshopper legs and bodies in separate places like my parents regularly do because their dog thinks they make great toys, since they're kinda like an automated game of fetch.
 
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