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(Esquire)   ♫So I said spell out "country blumpkin." ♪ I thought it'd come on back with nuthin'. ♪ That Google Glass is really something. You can dictate country blumpkin...♫   (esquire.com) divider line 45
    More: Amusing, Google Glass, Google, Google Search, Google Goggles, NAMBLA, Moby Dick  
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5387 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2013 at 6:48 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-24 04:40:25 PM

media.choiceshirts.com

 
2013-11-24 04:43:51 PM
More like Google Crass, AMIRITE?
 
2013-11-24 05:25:10 PM
Interesting article, but I'm still unsold on the glasses.
 
2013-11-24 05:25:11 PM
If you find a woman who's willing to give you a country blumpkin, then by god, you need to keep her son.
 
2013-11-24 05:35:29 PM

hardinparamedic: If you find a woman who's willing to give you a country blumpkin, then by god, you need to keep her son.


Where should you keep him?
 
2013-11-24 05:50:05 PM
That puts Google Glass up on Siri, who apparently doesn't know "blumpkin" or it too repressed to admit that she does.  Or at least she didn't know it a couple of years ago, when the topic came up during a girls' night out and my friend, in a crowded bar, was shouting "What is a 'blumpkin'?  BLUMPKIN!" into her iPhone.
 
2013-11-24 05:53:42 PM

Dallymo: That puts Google Glass up on Siri, who apparently doesn't know "blumpkin" or it too repressed to admit that she does.  Or at least she didn't know it a couple obf years ago, when the topic came up during a girls' night out and my friend, in a crowded bar, was shouting "What is a 'blumpkin'?  BLUMPKIN!" into her iPhone.


My wife just asked Sirion a brand-new iPad Air.  She's still pretending she doesn't know what one is.

...well, both of them actually.
 
2013-11-24 05:56:08 PM

doyner: Dallymo: That puts Google Glass up on Siri, who apparently doesn't know "blumpkin" or it too repressed to admit that she does.  Or at least she didn't know it a couple obf years ago, when the topic came up during a girls' night out and my friend, in a crowded bar, was shouting "What is a 'blumpkin'?  BLUMPKIN!" into her iPhone.

My wife just asked Sirion a brand-new iPad Air.  She's still pretending she doesn't know what one is.

...well, both of them actually.


Sirionsly?
 
2013-11-24 05:59:02 PM
media.giphy.com
 
2013-11-24 06:06:16 PM

GRCooper: Where should you keep him?


Well, most women prefer in the toilet. But I hear some German and Japanese girls prefer it on the face.
 
2013-11-24 06:51:13 PM
Don't you mean plumpkins?
 
2013-11-24 07:00:35 PM
God, they're hideous. They're the modern version of this style:

www.theredlist.fr
 
2013-11-24 07:03:46 PM
It sounds like the author of TFA doesn't get that different behavior is expected at a social event. Feel free to look at your device(s) as much as you want as your run errands, but you need to be look at people, not at screens, when you're at a social event. Or, you can always stay home.
 
2013-11-24 07:06:02 PM

DeaH: It sounds like the author of TFA doesn't get that different behavior is expected at a social event. Feel free to look at your device(s) as much as you want as your run errands, but you need to be look at people, not at screens, when you're at a social event. Or, you can always stay home.


But isn't the point of Google Glass to wear it always everywhere?
 
2013-11-24 07:14:06 PM
I am of two minds on Google Glasses.

One, I love tech and wouldn't mind having it with me always if I didn't have to carry it or stuff it into my pockets.

Two, I can understand why it annoys, the same as I could understand why telephones and cameras and books and the other things it replaces annoy.

You can say you are not an asshole and even firmly believe it, but that is for other people to decide. In fact, in my experience, the call of "asshole" is often the quickest way to find an asshole. Because these people are completely oblivious. The maxim "He who smelled it, dealt it." makes absolutely no sense, but the asshole is known by his bray long before you smell or spot him.

Most communications tech runs contrary to Zen wisdom: live in the moment, be where you are, do whatever comes to hand with all your heart and all your might.

Google glass wearers, like the incorrigible photographers before them, are failing to be in the place where they are. Their minds are elsewhere.

When Marcel Proust said of the telephone that each new technology creates a new vice, he was wise and observant. The camera turns some people into photographers--people who are at the wedding but not members of the wedding party. They substitute photographs for memories.

This is not always a bad thing. Some people value memories and some people value experiences and the twain often do not meet because you may not be able to have both. You can enjoy the present or enjoy the recollections but not both equally.

The telephone is even worse because it inflicts your foolish opinions and th annoyance of half-a-conversation on other people. Most people who always have to be talking have nothing to say. Most people who have to be in constant touch with friends or family or lovers have nothing to say.

I have seen cartoons from the 1800s that mock these people. A gent sitting on a park bench in 1892 is likely to be exposed to much the same inane yammering as in 2013. But with cellphones and headphones the exposure is all the more general and annoying. Half an idiotic conversation can be more annoying than a whole one.

And yes, your privacy dies. You can be private in a crowd if other people are silent and if there is no record of every moment. People rapidly forget the overheard conversations in restaurants, buses, etc. You have privacy in a multitude of privacies. You have no privacy in the vicinity of the most innocent camera. Like guns that are not loaded which kill and injure thousands, cameras are never snapping unintentional photos except they always do.

So Google Glasses require a new etiquette just as everything ever invented does.

They combine the worst vices of new technology since the invention of writing.

And besides. I wear glasses. I find a hard time using sunglasses, 3-d glasses and Google glasses without taking off my eyeglasses and becoming as blind as a mole. My range of clear vision is about six to eight inches. Curse them!

People who wear sunglasses look like they are up to something. 3-d is never worth the cost or trouble. Hell, I could do without colour. And you should live in the place where you are.

Sure, it's a great way to fend off bores and beggers, but bores and beggers resent it, and so do a lot of people, many of whom don't realize that they are bores and beggers. You are better off being polite or outright rude rather than hiding behind a screen.

Keeps your people skills up if you can turn away a bore or a begger with a glance rather than a fence.
 
2013-11-24 07:14:31 PM

Glendale: DeaH: It sounds like the author of TFA doesn't get that different behavior is expected at a social event. Feel free to look at your device(s) as much as you want as your run errands, but you need to be look at people, not at screens, when you're at a social event. Or, you can always stay home.

But isn't the point of Google Glass to wear it always everywhere?


I'm not sure. If it is the point, I don't like it. I don't like it when I am eating dinner with someone who constantly glances at their phone. If you want to read, search the internet, play on Fark, or whatever, don't do it when you're supposed to be paying attention to other people. If you don't want to pay attention to other people, then don't go to parties or have dinner with others. I can't really see how it's different when the screen is hovering over your eye, or it's on your phone.
 
2013-11-24 07:18:43 PM

GRCooper: hardinparamedic: If you find a woman who's willing to give you a country blumpkin, then by god, you need to keep her son.

Where should you keep him?


What a difference a comma makes! LOL!!
 
2013-11-24 07:21:34 PM
Sounds like subby was country when country wasn't cool.
 
2013-11-24 07:30:28 PM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Sounds like subby was country when country wasn't cool.


So... now?
 
2013-11-24 07:33:01 PM
i'll wait until they're more refined.

37prime.com
 
2013-11-24 07:33:41 PM
Meanwhile, Oculus rift will probably laugh at google glass's mostly usesless heads up display, which will probably be serving you ads related to the nearest fire hydrant..
 
2013-11-24 07:36:46 PM
Google Glasses are great for people who don't already wear glasses or sunglasses.
 
2013-11-24 08:01:30 PM

Dallymo: That puts Google Glass up on Siri, who apparently doesn't know "blumpkin" or it too repressed to admit that she does.  Or at least she didn't know it a couple of years ago, when the topic came up during a girls' night out and my friend, in a crowded bar, was shouting "What is a 'blumpkin'?  BLUMPKIN!" into her iPhone.


One of those things you're better off not knowing. One of those things that, after you look it up, you wish you hadn't. Thanks, internet.
 
2013-11-24 08:17:14 PM

Danger Avoid Death: Dallymo: That puts Google Glass up on Siri, who apparently doesn't know "blumpkin" or it too repressed to admit that she does.  Or at least she didn't know it a couple of years ago, when the topic came up during a girls' night out and my friend, in a crowded bar, was shouting "What is a 'blumpkin'?  BLUMPKIN!" into her iPhone.

One of those things you're better off not knowing. One of those things that, after you look it up, you wish you hadn't. Thanks, internet.


Hey if you think a Blumpkin is bad, just wait until you hear about a Brainerd.
 
2013-11-24 08:25:47 PM
We had a discussion about Google Glass in class a while back, and the verdict was that this is most likely to be worn by people in certain occupations (Search and Rescue teams, extreme sports, police work, etc.) who need an immediate hands-free look up of data.
 
2013-11-24 08:28:21 PM
 
2013-11-24 08:47:34 PM

Glendale: DeaH: It sounds like the author of TFA doesn't get that different behavior is expected at a social event. Feel free to look at your device(s) as much as you want as your run errands, but you need to be look at people, not at screens, when you're at a social event. Or, you can always stay home.

But isn't the point of Google Glass to wear it always everywhere?


images3.wikia.nocookie.net

"The glasses stay on."
 
2013-11-24 08:55:05 PM
To me the most annoying thing in the world are people who seem to think others need or want there opinion.
 
2013-11-24 09:01:15 PM
Isn't it spelled bumpkin?
 
2013-11-24 09:02:01 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Danger Avoid Death: Dallymo: That puts Google Glass up on Siri, who apparently doesn't know "blumpkin" or it too repressed to admit that she does.  Or at least she didn't know it a couple of years ago, when the topic came up during a girls' night out and my friend, in a crowded bar, was shouting "What is a 'blumpkin'?  BLUMPKIN!" into her iPhone.

One of those things you're better off not knowing. One of those things that, after you look it up, you wish you hadn't. Thanks, internet.

Hey if you think a Blumpkin is bad, just wait until you hear about a Brainerd.


NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

You bastards already got me once with Blumpkin, I'm not falling for this shiat again.
 
2013-11-24 09:17:05 PM

stuffy: To me the most annoying thing in the world are people who seem to think others need or want there opinion.


In my opinion, you need to learn the difference between there, they're and their
 
2013-11-24 09:31:34 PM

GRCooper: stuffy: To me the most annoying thing in the world are people who seem to think others need or want there opinion.

In my opinion, you need to learn the difference between there, they're and their


Don't go their.
 
2013-11-24 09:35:00 PM
i306.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-24 09:35:13 PM

Danger Avoid Death: GRCooper: stuffy: To me the most annoying thing in the world are people who seem to think others need or want there opinion.

In my opinion, you need to learn the difference between there, they're and their

Don't go their.


They're you guise go again. I could care less. For all intensive purposes it could of been a mistake.
 
2013-11-24 09:37:04 PM

doyner: Danger Avoid Death: GRCooper: stuffy: To me the most annoying thing in the world are people who seem to think others need or want there opinion.

In my opinion, you need to learn the difference between there, they're and their

Don't go their.

They're you guise go again. I could care less. For all intensive purposes it could of been a mistake.


Its no Miss Steak. Its the reel deal.
 
2013-11-24 10:05:35 PM

Snarfangel: doyner: Danger Avoid Death: GRCooper: stuffy: To me the most annoying thing in the world are people who seem to think others need or want there opinion.

In my opinion, you need to learn the difference between there, they're and their

Don't go their.

They're you guise go again. I could care less. For all intensive purposes it could of been a mistake.

Its no Miss Steak. Its the reel deal.


Grammer Notsee's!
 
2013-11-24 10:50:56 PM

GRCooper: hardinparamedic: If you find a woman who's willing to give you a country blumpkin, then by god, you need to keep her son.

Where should you keep him?


Why are we keeping him at all?  Does he give blumpkins too?
 
2013-11-24 11:02:19 PM
thanks for the earworm subby
 
2013-11-25 12:51:30 AM
Not even sure what song this headline goes with...mostly positive I don't want to know.  Partially hopeful that google glass causes eye/brain cancer.
 
2013-11-25 01:01:37 AM

trappedspirit: Not even sure what song this headline goes with...mostly positive I don't want to know.  Partially hopeful that google glass causes eye/brain cancer.


An old country song from the 50's by Eddy Arnold.

She said "Hello country bumpkin
how's the Frost out on the pumpkin".

Notice I capitalized Frost. It's my family name. When I was a kid my dad used to love to torture me with this song. And by torture I mean wake me up at some ungodly hour of the morning. Of course, this was usually to go camping and/or fishing, so even though I hated that song at the time, nearly four decades later I'd have to say I have fond memories it.

I miss you, Dad.
 
2013-11-25 01:01:39 AM

RockofAges: oohpah: Isn't it spelled bumpkin?

came here to say this


Mwahahahahaha you poor innocent souls.
 
2013-11-25 03:08:25 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com

/Obligatory
 
2013-11-25 03:12:04 AM
I hope the use of these NSA-extensions becomes unlawful.
 
2013-11-25 05:58:49 AM
"My wife approaches me in the kitchen. I can see her mouth moving. I tell her, "I'm watching a Richard Pryor clip about the first black president. If it's important, let me know, and I'll pause." She walks away."

I want to buy him a google glass and hack it to upload video constantly so we can watch his marriage crumble...
 
2013-11-25 08:39:57 AM
To me the most annoying thing in the world are people who seem to think others need or want there opinion.


LOL.yeah, ok. I guess that's why no one uses social media right?
 
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