If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NPR)   NPR declares war on Thanksgiving by declaring Americans should eschew traditional turkey, ham, stuffing, and mashed potatoes in favor of "French food"   (npr.org) divider line 205
    More: Sick, NPR, Thanksgiving, Americans, French food, mashed potatoes, Rachel Martin, lime juice, pumpkin pies  
•       •       •

7918 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2013 at 3:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



205 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-11-24 04:44:50 PM  
This just in:

TURKEY SUCKS
 
2013-11-24 04:46:58 PM  
Let's all be thankful that we're not at weak, and endangered as the Native Americans....oh what a great holiday!...more guns!
 
2013-11-24 04:49:24 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: Turkey sucks. No other meat requires so much tinkering to make it vaguely edible. (Admittedly, I've never had a wild turkey or even heritage bird. But I suspect they aren't worth the effort either.)


settle down Tofu face
 
2013-11-24 04:52:56 PM  

Rapmaster2000: If you wanted to be traditional you'd be eating venison and oysters.  So make this oyster stuffing recipe from Paul Prudhomme Dom Deluise.


FTFY

\Ever seen them in the same room together?
 
2013-11-24 04:53:01 PM  
reincarnation_mutation: Silly Americans. Thanksgiving is in October. And Turkey lasagna  is for Christmas.

FTFY
 
2013-11-24 04:55:11 PM  
I see a lot of people quibbling over how turkey tastes in here. I'm confused by that. I was under the impression that by the time dinner rolls around on Thanksgiving you're supposed to be too drunk to be even vaguely aware of what you're eating.

My dad's ham recipe uses "beers" as a unit of time.
 
2013-11-24 04:56:35 PM  

doglover: Cilantro

Dial is cheaper and already a liquid you can find in your kitchen.



Quick Fresh Tomatillo Salsa
1 pound tomatillos, husked and rinsed
2 to 4 jalapeño or serrano chiles, seeded for a milder salsa, coarsely chopped
1/4 cup chopped onion, soaked for 5 minutes in cold water, drained and rinsed
Two tablespoons liquid Dial (to taste)
Salt to taste (about 1/2 teaspoon)
1/4 to 1/2 cup water, as needed

/For that authentic "Soap of the Border" flavor.
 
2013-11-24 04:58:42 PM  

SteveO_MN: I am going to have a vegan thanksgiving this year. I'm not vegan, but I find real life trolling to be more fun these days.


images4.wikia.nocookie.net

Marie made a tofurky for you
 
2013-11-24 05:00:16 PM  
I sent my daughter off to college a heterosexual carnivore. They're sending me back a lesbian, possibly bisexual vegetarian.

Vegetarians are the most annoying people on the farking planet. I want my money back. Her new girlfriend is nice though. They're settling down in Chicago after graduation. fark both of them for not eating turkey though.
 
2013-11-24 05:01:14 PM  

Hermione_Granger: fark both of them


Well, if you insist...
 
2013-11-24 05:02:03 PM  

FloridaWombat: my best friend is from Texas and she forces those damn black eyed peas on me every year.


I always thought black-eyed peas were tasty, with or without pork-based accompaniments, no matter which day of the year they were served on. I guess YMMV. Turkey? OK, I guess. I'd like to go way traditionalist and have venison steaks wrapped in bacon and grilled, with squash and beans and oysters on the side. And pie. No holiday is complete without pie.
crow202.org
 
2013-11-24 05:02:22 PM  

Hermione_Granger: I sent my daughter off to college a heterosexual carnivore. They're sending me back a lesbian, possibly bisexual vegetarian.

Vegetarians are the most annoying people on the farking planet. I want my money back. Her new girlfriend is nice though. They're settling down in Chicago after graduation. fark both of them for not eating turkey though.


giggity.
 
2013-11-24 05:07:20 PM  

Nick Nostril: doglover: Cilantro

Dial is cheaper and already a liquid you can find in your kitchen.

Heathen!


It's genetic.  For some people cilantro smells and tastes like soap.
 
2013-11-24 05:09:42 PM  

OgreMagi: megarian: TofuTheAlmighty: Turkey sucks. No other meat requires so much tinkering to make it vaguely edible. (Admittedly, I've never had a wild turkey or even heritage bird. But I suspect they aren't worth the effort either.)

You shut your whore mouth.

I'm going to have to agree with Tofu.  Turkey is rather tasteless in my opinion.  It's all the "fixings" that make a turkey feast worth while.  Personally, I prefer prime rib or venison for t-day.  And some really good wine, of course.


The problem with turkey is that it dries out easy, you absolutely must brine it.

I recommend Alton Brown's recipe or any brine really.
 
2013-11-24 05:10:08 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: Turkey sucks. No other meat requires so much tinkering to make it vaguely edible. (Admittedly, I've never had a wild turkey or even heritage bird. But I suspect they aren't worth the effort either.)


Thaw bird, start smoker, leave bird in smoker, drink beer. How hard is that?
 
2013-11-24 05:15:03 PM  
You know what else goes great with French Cuisine on Thanksgiving?  White Linens!
 
2013-11-24 05:15:05 PM  
You should read this in Lafayette's voice. We wouldn't have a goddam country if it weren't for Lafayette. Ever wonder why so many places here bear his Frenchy name? There's a good farking reason for it.
 
2013-11-24 05:18:36 PM  

Robo Beat: 12349876: TV's Vinnie: Turkey & stuffing only happens once a year. GTF away from me with your meddling, stupid coont!

Because whole turkeys and stuffing ingredients disappear from the grocery store from December-October.

FWIW, I've never seen whole cranberries available at any other time of the year.  The canned cranberry sauce is sometimes available in, say, June, but you have to scrape about a half-inch of dust off of it.


Freezer section, or if your grocery is especially draconian, buy a bag of fresh now and freeze them yourself. Fruit is amazingly resilient for freezing, generally.
 
2013-11-24 05:23:50 PM  
Turkey basted with pepper bacon grease is where it's at. And the bacon's not bad either!
 
2013-11-24 05:32:23 PM  
Tradition is like religion in that it was started by our ignorant-ass ancestors and some people will shiat themselves with rage if it might be optional, or indeed even vary from person to person. Treat it as an old, comfortable walking stick to help you along your path, neither a crutch nor a bludgeon, and you will be fine. Try and shove it up my nose, and I'll break it over your head.

That all said, we've got a nice turkey picked out and I'm looking forward to my dad's pumpkin pie again this year. I hope whatever everybody else is having for dinner is just as good.
 
2013-11-24 05:37:02 PM  

HypnozombieX: I've noticed that these examples of "War on (fill in the tradition)" tend to be other people choosing not to adhere to said tradition. If Costco decides they want to say Holiday instead of Christmas to be more inclusive that's their business. Stop throwing a tantrum just because others are liking what you don't like.


There is also the "War on Women", and I don't adhere to them either. More like slide in and out.
 
2013-11-24 05:39:27 PM  
Mi es chew turkey.
 
2013-11-24 05:39:52 PM  

Xythero: Absurd!  Ham is not a traditional Thanksgiving dish.


We are having ham this year. My SIL has found a meat company that makes the best damn smoked ham I've ever tasted. We had it last year at Christmas and everyone loved it so much, even the former "ham haters," that we decided to have it this year for Thanksgiving (since the kid and SIL can't come for Christmas this year -- damn inconsiderate to have family other than ours that you want to see once a year ;)

Ham is perfectly fine for Thanksgiving, especially since I usually cook a turkey several times a year for one reason or another so it isn't a once-a-year thing for us, whereas the huge specialty smoked ham most certainly is.
 
2013-11-24 05:42:52 PM  

shortymac: The problem with turkey is that it dries out easy, you absolutely must brine it.

I recommend Alton Brown's recipe or any brine really.


Brine it ... then fry it.

/the only way to make me eat a turkey
//making cornish hens this year
 
2013-11-24 05:43:56 PM  

mark12A: What we really need to do is organize protests at stores open on Thanksgiving. This instance of corporate abuse is almost enough to turn me commie....


I have never shopped on Black Friday, and I will never shop on Thanksgiving itself. That's my protest. The four-day weekend is about family, not driving ourselves crazy in stores, and we've always felt that way.
 
2013-11-24 05:45:35 PM  
Thanksgiving is the quintessential American holiday, beyond turkey with stuffing and cranberry dressing the menus are probably as diverse as the country itself.  If someone has the time and energy to be angered by the menu choices of other people's Thanksgivings then perhaps they should remember the original meaning of the holiday itself.  Clearly they have quite the bounty and freedom to be thankful for.
 
2013-11-24 05:58:04 PM  
Smoked, fried, or roasted, brine that bird.

/worth the work
//vive la différence
 
2013-11-24 06:02:47 PM  

OgreMagi: Last year our christmas dinner was a gourmet French meal.  It was awesome.  My roommate's French girlfriend was staying with us.  Unfortunately, they chose to get married and get their own place.  My stomach is not happy with that decision.


I had me a French girlfriend, loved the way she talked.

We spent our afternoons watching the TV.
 
2013-11-24 06:05:23 PM  

silvervial: mark12A: What we really need to do is organize protests at stores open on Thanksgiving. This instance of corporate abuse is almost enough to turn me commie....

I have never shopped on Black Friday, and I will never shop on Thanksgiving itself. That's my protest. The four-day weekend is about family, not driving ourselves crazy in stores, and we've always felt that way.


Agreed.  Even worse is the new crap of shopping on Thanksgiving.  I have nothing against people who want to work that day. Perhaps they have no family in the area and like the idea of getting holiday pay.  But too many companies are making it mandatory.  My sister was scheduled to work t-day against her wishes.  She assumes she will be losing her job because she would rather spend the day with her family.

If they won't give her the day off, I will be publicly denouncing the well known company.  We're hoping it was a mistake because they had a sign-up sheet to work t-day and she didn't sign it.
 
2013-11-24 06:06:13 PM  
I am making Sage Sausage Dressing, Orange Cranberry Sauce, Grilled Duck Breast, Duck Confit, Duck Demi Glace, Garlic Mashed Potatoes, and Sweet Potato Casserole
 
2013-11-24 06:14:49 PM  
The nerve of this lady. One of the recipes calls for duck fat. Does she just assume I live near the park.
 
kab
2013-11-24 06:22:55 PM  
Why the sick tag, subby?   Turkey is boring as fark.
 
2013-11-24 06:29:13 PM  

Hermione_Granger: I sent my daughter off to college a heterosexual carnivore. They're sending me back a lesbian, possibly bisexual vegetarian.

Vegetarians are the most annoying people on the farking planet. I want my money back. Her new girlfriend is nice though. They're settling down in Chicago after graduation. fark both of them for not eating turkey though.


As nature has taught us, you she was probably a vegetarian when you sent her off to college.
 
2013-11-24 06:44:20 PM  

aerojockey: Also, if you make gravy (and you're not a wimpy infrahuman who uses those powdered gravy mixes), you are using hard French cooking techniques.  Any soup that goes with Thanksgiving is probably made with a mirepoix.  There is no shame to adding French side dishes or even main dishes to you feast.

But: bird, stuffing, potatoes.

I regard sweet potatoes as acceptable break from regular potatoes; duck, goose, or even chicken to be an acceptable substitute for turkey.  There is no substituting for stuffing.  That includes calling stuffing "dressing" you stupid Minnesotans.  Also "with" is preposition, not an adverb, just so you know


In my household we make both stuffing and dressing. The stuffing is what goes inside the bird. The dressing is what goes in the big baking dish on the side. Both go great with giblet gravy. For my money, the stuffing is the better of the two, but it usually gets finished off with the Thanksgiving meal and there's never enough of it for leftovers. Hence, the separate baking dish of dressing, which is solely for leftovers.

Hey, at least we don't call it this:

media.ifunny.com
 
2013-11-24 06:47:56 PM  
Benjamin Franklin would have to wonder why you are eating the US national bird. What next? Bald Eagle pie?
 
2013-11-24 06:53:45 PM  

gregoropolis: The nerve of this lady. One of the recipes calls for duck fat. Does she just assume I live near the park.


That is what irks me about these recipes.  "Here are fifteen things in minute quantities you don't have.  Mix them in this precise order over the next 90 minutes."

I am going to spend 10 minutes eating this.  I am not going to spend 90 minutes making it.  I don't have most of those ingredients and I am not going to buy them for this one dish.
 
2013-11-24 07:01:48 PM  
An added note.  I'm single, live alone, and my family lives 400 miles away.  I ended up with no plans for the holiday so it looks like my t-day feast will be whatever fast food restaurant is open.  My family wanted me to make the trip down, but the holiday traffic is so bad it would turn the seven hour trip into at least twelve hours.  No farking way.


/the friends I normally spend the holiday with suffered a family death a couple of weeks ago
//so all plans were cancelled
 
2013-11-24 07:04:13 PM  

shinji3i: 12349876: TV's Vinnie: Turkey & stuffing only happens once a year. GTF away from me with your meddling, stupid coont!

Because whole turkeys and stuffing ingredients disappear from the grocery store from December-October.

Whole turkeys that you can deep fry and share with a group of people for one day instead of eating leftover deep fried turkey for two weeks straight do.

You got me on the stuffing though.


Stuffing?  It's bread, onions, celery, and seasonings.  Depending on the person, you might use cornbread, sausage, shrooms, or various other additives, but either way, available all year.
 
2013-11-24 07:07:14 PM  

Inquisitive Inquisitor: The French are integral to the history of our nation.  Without them it's conceivable that we would not exist.  Whatever recent history they may have, they still deserve our respect and our thanks.  I'd be happy to recognize them on Thanksgiving and remember the sacrifices they made so that our nation could be born.


Sadly, this is true.
 
2013-11-24 07:09:45 PM  
Merde.
 
2013-11-24 07:12:32 PM  

gregoropolis: The nerve of this lady. One of the recipes calls for duck fat. Does she just assume I live near the park.


Yea, and it takes along time to clean and pluck them too I make friends with the homeless guys and put my order in with them. Saves me a lot of time.
 
2013-11-24 07:13:02 PM  

Kit Fister: In other words, if you're bored of turkey and stuffing and whatever, try something different. Its almost as if the food itself has nothing to do with the original meaning of the holiday, and thus eating the same shiat every year might not be as important as trying new things while enjoying family and the bounty of your life.


You have turkey and Stuffing one day every year, How is it you are bored?

OgreMagi: An added note.  I'm single, live alone, and my family lives 400 miles away.  I ended up with no plans for the holiday so it looks like my t-day feast will be whatever fast food restaurant is open.  My family wanted me to make the trip down, but the holiday traffic is so bad it would turn the seven hour trip into at least twelve hours.  No farking way.


/the friends I normally spend the holiday with suffered a family death a couple of weeks ago
//so all plans were cancelled


Try and find a bob evans or even a Cracker Barrel.
 
2013-11-24 07:13:03 PM  

OgreMagi: it looks like my t-day feast will be whatever fast food restaurant is open.


I take the bus to work most days. My bus stop is right next to a Jack-In-The-Box. This fast-food place has had signs up saying "Open Thanksgiving!" for the last 2 weeks. One of my co-workers is in roughly the same spot as you are (no family nearby, all friends out of town) so she was planning on having a turkey TV dinner. I told her that at least some JITBs were open Thanksgiving, and she said something like, "Oh wow. That sounds horrible. I might have to go there."

Note that YMMV and all that. I think you could do worse than a JITB Thanksgiving, but that's just me.
 
2013-11-24 07:15:44 PM  

danceswithcrows: OgreMagi: it looks like my t-day feast will be whatever fast food restaurant is open.

I take the bus to work most days. My bus stop is right next to a Jack-In-The-Box. This fast-food place has had signs up saying "Open Thanksgiving!" for the last 2 weeks. One of my co-workers is in roughly the same spot as you are (no family nearby, all friends out of town) so she was planning on having a turkey TV dinner. I told her that at least some JITBs were open Thanksgiving, and she said something like, "Oh wow. That sounds horrible. I might have to go there."

Note that YMMV and all that. I think you could do worse than a JITB Thanksgiving, but that's just me.


I'm hoping my favorite Indian restaurant will be open for the day.  Chicken Tikka Masala would be perfect.
 
2013-11-24 07:16:45 PM  

limeyfellow: Benjamin Franklin would have to wonder why you are eating the US national bird. What next? Bald Eagle pie?


Is Bald Eagle pie what all the limeyfellows are calling a shaved bird these days?
 
2013-11-24 07:34:05 PM  

lewismarktwo: grumpfuff: lewismarktwo: spidermilk: The real problem is when people who only cook twice a year try to cook a 20 lb bird.

If the only other thing you can cook is spaghetti then I see how you can hate turkey.

^This people.  Your mom can't cook worth shiat. Sorry.

Or - maybe, just hear me out here, maybe taste is subjective and some people just don't like the same things you like.

HOLY shiat WHAT A CONCEPT!

So do you like chicken?


Chicken and turkey have different flavors. They're mild but they're there. It's definitely possible to like one but not the other.
 
2013-11-24 07:36:03 PM  

alice_600: Kit Fister: In other words, if you're bored of turkey and stuffing and whatever, try something different. Its almost as if the food itself has nothing to do with the original meaning of the holiday, and thus eating the same shiat every year might not be as important as trying new things while enjoying family and the bounty of your life.

You have turkey and Stuffing one day every year, How is it you are bored?


Didn't say I was. However, I stand by my point: The holiday is about giving thanks. It's not about what you eat, etc. etc. You want turkey? Great. Have turkey. Want duck? Do it. Ham? Go for it. giant farking omaha steaks? you bet. Elk? Delish. WHAT you eat has NOTHING to do with the holiday.

/I find turkey a little bland/tasteless unless REALLY prepared right, which in my kitchen includes marinating the bird overnight, then baking after stuffing with beer-soaked stuffing for cooking.
 
2013-11-24 07:38:23 PM  
I will eat my traditional American thanksgiving food, thanks.  If that author hates American thanksgiving tradition so much, maybe they can try some nice traditional British food.  Like eating a spotted dick?
 
2013-11-24 07:39:15 PM  
In lieu of pumpkin pie, try this soup, ripe with flavors of citrus, ginger and coconut.


fark YOOOOOU!

 
2013-11-24 07:39:48 PM  
Not gonna happen...gonna be like this one at our house!
And a traditional prayer before the meal, giving thanks to the
many blessing of (still) being an AMERICAN!

jerryrushing.net
 
Displayed 50 of 205 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report