If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(AL.com)   From Rush Limbaugh's children's book about the first Thanksgiving: the Pilgrims originally experimented with socialism until they nearly starved to death. Once they embraced capitalism, they had enough food to share with the Indians   (al.com) divider line 255
    More: Followup, Thanksgiving, Rush Limbaugh, system of government, Soviet Empire, pilgrims  
•       •       •

2738 clicks; posted to Politics » on 24 Nov 2013 at 3:01 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



255 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-11-24 03:02:45 PM
And I thought the generally accepted story was a gross distortion of the truth...
 
2013-11-24 03:03:22 PM
Fat drug addled pedophiles are usually good children's authors.
 
2013-11-24 03:04:35 PM

PortsmouthFarker: And I thought the generally accepted story was a gross distortion of the truth...


Are you saying that Rush Limbaugh would purposely engage in Agitprop to push a historical revisionist agenda, most likely with the full approval of his GOP handlers?

Perish the thought! Lord, I think I have the vapors just hearing that!

www.lazyliteratus.com
 
2013-11-24 03:05:06 PM
Wait, what? Has my brain tumor finally compressed my frontal lobe so much that I'm hallucinating? Pilgrims, socialism, a man who should never be left alone with children.
 
2013-11-24 03:05:48 PM
Calling it either "socialist" or "capitalist" is anachronistic, but plenty of more legitimate sources than Rush have written about the true fact that early leaders of the colony gave much credit for their success to the switch from communal farming to private plots of land. The tragedy of the commons is not some right-wing conspiracy.
 
2013-11-24 03:06:00 PM

Shakin_Haitian: Fat drug addled pedophiles are usually good children's authors.


Why are you bringing Lewis Carroll into this conversation?
 
2013-11-24 03:10:55 PM
Rush: the Dickens of our era.

Wait.... I mean, the exact opposite.
 
2013-11-24 03:11:09 PM
All of Rush Limbaugh's books are written for children.
 
2013-11-24 03:12:07 PM
Is there anything comparable to this on the left? I guess the semi-recent Reza Aslan book was taken by conservatives as rewriting history, but the guy is a credited historian. Is there an equivalent on the left of somebody who just fabricates imaginary history to make liberals feel better about themselves?
 
2013-11-24 03:12:42 PM
By J. Pepper Byars

How farked up is your first name if you're going by 'Pepper'?
 
2013-11-24 03:14:10 PM
The funny thing is that the opposite is nearly true.

The pilgrims were headed to the established colony of Jamestown and decided to stop by Squanto's home town, which had collapsed in the 20 years since Squanto was around. So they decided to just take the land for free. But their ship was full of shiat for trade and commerce, not the tools to become successful farmers in their own right, and thus they were in quite a bad way until they were able to get some help from the local Indians, who taught them how to grow like they did.
 
2013-11-24 03:14:35 PM

quatchi: All of Rush Limbaugh's books are written for petulantchildren.


fixed that for ya
 
2013-11-24 03:14:41 PM
Was this satire? Or is the author of this "article" even stupider than the bastard child of Louie Gohmert and Michele Bachmann?
 
2013-11-24 03:15:38 PM

Churchill2004: Calling it either "socialist" or "capitalist" is anachronistic, but plenty of more legitimate sources than Rush have written about the true fact that early leaders of the colony gave much credit for their success to the switch from communal farming to private plots of land. The tragedy of the commons is not some right-wing conspiracy.


And as I'm sure you know, no one is advocating for communal farming or shared property in the US.  Also, I wouldn't believe anything Rush writes without citations.
 
2013-11-24 03:17:05 PM

Badmoodman: By J. Pepper Byars

How farked up is your first name if you're going by 'Pepper'?


ilarge.listal.com
 
2013-11-24 03:17:08 PM

BMulligan: Shakin_Haitian: Fat drug addled pedophiles are usually good children's authors.

Why are you bringing Lewis Carroll into this conversation?


Lewis Carroll wasn't fat.
 
2013-11-24 03:17:29 PM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Is there anything comparable to this on the left? I guess the semi-recent Reza Aslan book was taken by conservatives as rewriting history, but the guy is a credited historian. Is there an equivalent on the left of somebody who just fabricates imaginary history to make liberals feel better about themselves?


chomsky, zinn, etc.
 
2013-11-24 03:19:45 PM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Is there anything comparable to this on the left? I guess the semi-recent Reza Aslan book was taken by conservatives as rewriting history, but the guy is a credited historian. Is there an equivalent on the left of somebody who just fabricates imaginary history to make liberals feel better about themselves?


Hippy pagans sometimes make up stories about glorious matriarchal pagan societies that were great and perfect until the Christians came along and murdered everyone.

Of course they're STILL more historically accurate than Rush' drivel, but it's close.
 
2013-11-24 03:20:28 PM
That  wasn't a joke, Subby?

...There are not enough facepalms in the world for this shiat.
 
2013-11-24 03:20:54 PM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Is there anything comparable to this on the left? I guess the semi-recent Reza Aslan book was taken by conservatives as rewriting history, but the guy is a credited historian. Is there an equivalent on the left of somebody who just fabricates imaginary history to make liberals feel better about themselves?


Bernard Bailyn's most recent work connects Marxism to early Dutch settlements...so there's that.
 
2013-11-24 03:21:25 PM
This is pretty close to the exact opposite of reality. Many early colonists starved because they focused on growing the cash crop tobacco instead of food.
 
2013-11-24 03:22:20 PM

PsiChick: That  wasn't a joke, Subby?

...There are not enough facepalms in the world for this shiat.


....

this.... i ....what....


How do these people manage to breed? And WHY?
 
2013-11-24 03:22:26 PM
The day we no longer believe in American Exceptionalism is the day we can start fixing the things wrong with this country.
 
2013-11-24 03:23:26 PM
Missing:

1. The Pilgrims weren't settlers. They were townsmen. And they packed as though they were moving to another town. They left behind useful things, like tools and food stores, and brought useless things, like extra pairs of shoe buckles for different occasions.

2. When the Pilgrims arrived, they didn't begin shaping the land to their desires, they began praying in the way they wanted. A lot. Basically, they got off the boat, built a church, and began going to it all the time. In their spare time, they built homes and things, but that wasn't their main focus. Nor was planting food.

3. When fall rolled around and they looked up and said 'huh...I guess no boats are going to come by and sell us food', they didn't panic. At least not at first. Instead, they prayed some more.

4. Then they started to starve. Just before it got really bad, an Indian named Squanto dropped by and helped them out.

2. Squanto  already spoke English. The Pilgrims didn't starve to death because, instead of having to learn to say 'help me, I'm starving' in Algonquin (Anishinàbe aking ate awasò kikinàwadjichigan = The land on which this structure stands is part of the traditional territories of the Algonquin Anishnabe people), they had a guy on hand who already spoke their language. Because he had been made a slave. But he still helped them out.

So to sum up: incompetent religious extremists move to the 'wild', pay no attention to their needs, get rescued by brown people whom they have already exploited once. 

There's nothing socialist OR capitalist about that story. Just gross stupidity, rescued at the last minute against all reason by a lucky break and human compassion overlooking a very good reason to say 'fark you'.
 
2013-11-24 03:24:48 PM

SoupGuru: Rush: the Dickens of our era.

Wait.... I mean, the exact opposite.


No, you just added 3 too many letters.
 
2013-11-24 03:24:57 PM

whistleridge: So to sum up: incompetent religious extremists move to the 'wild', pay no attention to their needs, get rescued by brown people whom they have already exploited once.


This seems to be a reoccurring theme in American history.
 
2013-11-24 03:27:04 PM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: whistleridge: So to sum up: incompetent religious extremists move to the 'wild', pay no attention to their needs, get rescued by brown people whom they have already exploited once.

This seems to be a reoccurring theme in American history.


If nothing else, we're consistent.
 
2013-11-24 03:28:19 PM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: whistleridge: So to sum up: incompetent religious extremists move to the 'wild', pay no attention to their needs, get rescued by brown people whom they have already exploited once.

This seems to be a reoccurring theme in American history.


True.
 
2013-11-24 03:30:44 PM

SoupGuru: The day we no longer believe in American Exceptionalism is the day we can start fixing the things wrong with this country.


Sooooo.... the us is permanently farked, is what you're saying?
 
2013-11-24 03:30:53 PM

tnpir: Was this satire? Or is the author of this "article" even stupider than the bastard child of Louie Gohmert and Michele Bachmann?


You're correct. Pilgrims didn't really exist thats why its a childrens story. a fairy tale as you are obviously well aware
 
2013-11-24 03:33:02 PM

Smoking GNU: SoupGuru: The day we no longer believe in American Exceptionalism is the day we can start fixing the things wrong with this country.

Sooooo.... the us is permanently farked, is what you're saying?


Pretty much.  No one seems interested in honest self-assessment.
 
2013-11-24 03:34:27 PM

sprgrss: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Is there anything comparable to this on the left? I guess the semi-recent Reza Aslan book was taken by conservatives as rewriting history, but the guy is a credited historian. Is there an equivalent on the left of somebody who just fabricates imaginary history to make liberals feel better about themselves?

chomsky, zinn, etc.


Yea, that's probably a stretch.
 
2013-11-24 03:36:17 PM
 Anyone expecting an honest word out of that trolls mouth will get exactly what they deserve.
"But dat der ol dang book dun said da inguns dun begged them thar pilgrums ta come take over. We was doin them a favor!!"
 
2013-11-24 03:38:55 PM
If I ever travel to an unknown land with my family, have to build my home, sew my clothes, grow food, bury my household's feces daily, fetch water, chop wood, starve, freeze and bury half of my community you better believe those first couple years I'm going to be borrowing and sharing everything with my neighbors. And if 400 years later my asshole descendant whose never suffered those hardships dares to insult my survival choices I'm going to find a way of resurrection using the power of pure rage.

If you want an example of a colony built upon capitalism look at Jamestown. It failed three times, was burnt twice and they ate each other because they couldn't feed themselves with tobacco.
 
2013-11-24 03:39:20 PM
The hell with that.  In my version of history, the pilgrims were complete nymphomaniacs who had sex non stop and had wild public orgies day and night.  And I am sure it is on Brazzers.
 
2013-11-24 03:41:26 PM

Gergesa: The hell with that.  In my version of history, the pilgrims were complete nymphomaniacs who had sex non stop and had wild public orgies day and night.  And I am sure it is on Brazzers.


Probably still more accurate than Rushs version.
 
2013-11-24 03:41:32 PM
Rush Limbaugh: A fustian cynosure of indignation.
 
2013-11-24 03:45:06 PM

PsiChick: That  wasn't a joke, Subby?

...There are not enough facepalms in the world for this shiat.


I listened to him say this nonsense on the radio about 10 years ago, a caller called in and asked where he heard it from and he said "This is what my father taught me about Thanksgiving".
 
2013-11-24 03:50:47 PM
What a coincidence. I also recently wrote a children's book.

It's about a group of young boys, from a republic named after Saint Dominic on the island of Hispaniola. In their adventures, they see a "gigantic slob monster" "eating pills" and "touching his own privates through his pants" while he "watches the boys play and he licks his lips" (all quotes from the book). The monster charges at them and tries to pull off their clothes, but the boys, being much more lean and muscular than the monster, are able to surround and beat him up. The boys go back home and tell their parents they killed a monster but the parents brush it off as some kind of pretend game.

The moral of the story is that children should kill sex tourists when encountered as they will most likely get away with it.
 
2013-11-24 03:51:59 PM

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Is there anything comparable to this on the left? I guess the semi-recent Reza Aslan book was taken by conservatives as rewriting history, but the guy is a credited historian. Is there an equivalent on the left of somebody who just fabricates imaginary history to make liberals feel better about themselves?


I got nothing.

But seriously, my tea-party dad saw this at a book store and freaked out, claiming it was teaching children to be gay.  He buys all of Rush's books and thinks they are spectacular.
 
2013-11-24 03:52:05 PM
Next up Rush will rewrite the history on what Columbus did in the Dominican Republic.
 
2013-11-24 03:55:09 PM

whistleridge: Missing:

1. The Pilgrims weren't settlers. They were townsmen. And they packed as though they were moving to another town. They left behind useful things, like tools and food stores, and brought useless things, like extra pairs of shoe buckles for different occasions.

2. When the Pilgrims arrived, they didn't begin shaping the land to their desires, they began praying in the way they wanted. A lot. Basically, they got off the boat, built a church, and began going to it all the time. In their spare time, they built homes and things, but that wasn't their main focus. Nor was planting food.

3. When fall rolled around and they looked up and said 'huh...I guess no boats are going to come by and sell us food', they didn't panic. At least not at first. Instead, they prayed some more.

4. Then they started to starve. Just before it got really bad, an Indian named Squanto dropped by and helped them out.

2. Squanto  already spoke English. The Pilgrims didn't starve to death because, instead of having to learn to say 'help me, I'm starving' in Algonquin (Anishinàbe aking ate awasò kikinàwadjichigan = The land on which this structure stands is part of the traditional territories of the Algonquin Anishnabe people), they had a guy on hand who already spoke their language. Because he had been made a slave. But he still helped them out.

So to sum up: incompetent religious extremists move to the 'wild', pay no attention to their needs, get rescued by brown people whom they have already exploited once. 

There's nothing socialist OR capitalist about that story. Just gross stupidity, rescued at the last minute against all reason by a lucky break and human compassion overlooking a very good reason to say 'fark you'.


From the facts of your story it can be argued that prayer works.
 
2013-11-24 03:55:40 PM

Shakin_Haitian: Fat drug addled pedophiles are usually good children's authors.


Was Lewis Carroll fat and/or a drug addict?
 
2013-11-24 03:56:57 PM
whistleridge: [Socialist propaganda]

Whatever, commie.
 
2013-11-24 03:57:02 PM

Gergesa: The hell with that. In my version of history, the pilgrims were complete nymphomaniacs who had sex non stop and had wild public orgies day and night. And I am sure it is on Brazzers.


www.mindhuestudio.com

Oh, baby. Oh, yeah.
 
2013-11-24 03:57:18 PM
Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims.

Nothing says 'historically accurate' like naming a book about the first Thanksgiving after one guy who was born more than a century later and a second which is a fat fark that wouldn't know how to grow mold - and would have gotten kicked out of the colony for adultery anyway.
 
2013-11-24 03:58:29 PM

xxcorydxx: quatchi: All of Rush Limbaugh's books are written for petulant children.

fixed that for ya


*conferring noises*

The judges will allow that.
 
2013-11-24 03:59:04 PM
Not a word about how grateful the injuns were for their minimum wage jobs that they shared all the property they owned forever?
 
2013-11-24 04:02:10 PM

Churchill2004: Calling it either "socialist" or "capitalist" is anachronistic, but plenty of more legitimate sources than Rush have written about the true fact that early leaders of the colony gave much credit for their success to the switch from communal farming to private plots of land. The tragedy of the commons is not some right-wing conspiracy.


The tragedy of the commons? WTF are you smoking?

What is the Thanksgiving myth supposed to have to do with ecosystem collapse due to overuse?
 
2013-11-24 04:03:45 PM

Gergesa: the pilgrims were complete nymphomaniacs who had sex non stop and had wild public orgies day and night.


No, that was the Indians, culminating in Custer's famous last words, "Look at all those farking Indians!"
 
Displayed 50 of 255 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report