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(Salt Lake Tribune)   Dear Carolyn: I have been on a few wonderful dates with this man. Out of curiosity, I Googled his name. Signed: "Wish I Never Googled"   (sltrib.com) divider line 26
    More: Obvious, Google, Carolyn Hax  
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36059 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2013 at 9:43 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-11-24 09:52:51 AM  
7 votes:
Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.
2013-11-24 01:09:38 PM  
6 votes:

KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.


Googling is not the problem.  You have missed the point entirely.

The problem lies in telling the guy "I know your dad murdered your mom, it's difficult to talk about, and you don't want to talk about it now... but when you do, I'll be ready.  Are you ready now?  No?  How about now?"

Common sense says sure, google the person.  But when they've already indicated that they need time before they raise a difficult subject, you wait until they are ready to raise it.  You don't pre-empt them like a rabid journalist after the latest Rob Ford revelation.  Doing it to a casual date puts a big screaming "I have no patience and no respect for your feelings" sign on your back.
2013-11-24 09:51:55 AM  
5 votes:
Just so I have this straight: He already told her there were problems involving his family that he didn't want to talk to her about yet, but she's not really going to wait for him to tell her before she freaks out?

RUN away, dude. She';s going through your cell phone every time you go to the can right now.
2013-11-24 10:19:49 AM  
3 votes:
Look on the bright side! You don't have to worry about getting along with your mother-in-law.
2013-11-24 10:09:24 AM  
3 votes:
This is why I always pre-Google the fake names I give women.
2013-11-24 11:11:44 AM  
2 votes:

StopLurkListen: This is a new reality. People will look up your info online ... or whatever appears to be your info.

Prospective employers certainly do. And their "background search" tools are a lot more invasive of your privacy than The Google.

[money.cnn.com image 270x220]


Man, drug screening should be illegal.  I can understand verifying employment history, education history and your references, but drug screening tends to only affect potheads, as pot is what stays in your system the longest.
2013-11-24 10:55:25 AM  
2 votes:
Dear Dumb Twat:

This is what you get for checking out on your ownwhat he trusted you to find out in due course. This being Fark, I expected him to be running a pedophile heroin ring. On the plus side, he wasn't involved in a murder, his parents are. But apparently females in his life putting their noses where it doesn't belong is a generational thing. Have fun sleeping over at the murder house.

Smooches,
Prudie
2013-11-24 10:39:51 AM  
2 votes:

born_yesterday: kroonermanblack: /eharmony sucks

Eharmony does suck.  I found my current GF through Match.  I found that the structured communication of Eharmony stalled out completely when we were supposed to start having free conversations.  The women there also seemed more shallow, despite the site being marketed more towards serious relationships. "Sorry if this sounds shallow, but don't bother contacting me if you're shorter than 6'2".  My Mr. Right is tall."  I don't think I got a single date through eHarmony, just a lot of bullshiat.

Good luck, and I hope you at least have some dates you enjoy, even if some might only be in hindsight.  Like the redheaded neo-Nazi that didn't understand why we didn't test all of our new drugs on convicted felons.  "But if you wanted to test a cancer drug, wouldn't you have to give them cancer?" "Yep; who cares."


I know it sucks if you aren't 6'2" (I'm not even close) but I'd MUCH rather a girl just come out and say it.  No sense wasting each others time if someone has a strict rule about something.
2013-11-24 10:20:32 AM  
2 votes:
No one said it? Ok, I'll say it"That's my family, Kay; that's not me."And look how well that turned out.
2013-11-24 10:10:54 AM  
2 votes:
Nope.

Stalky GF Detected.

Better for him to get out now.  Because this C will start going through your emails and phone next.

It will never end.
2013-11-24 10:03:31 AM  
2 votes:

bostonguy: bostonguy: From the other side of the coin, things like this is why "online reputation management" is becoming the next big thing. Basically, if bad stuff comes up high in search results when people search for your name, there are things you can do to "push" that stuff down.

Basic: Create public, fully filled-out profiles on all social networks (Google+, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.) Buy a domain for your name (or as close as possible) and put up a basic site. Remember: You don't have to tell your phone number and SSN -- a lot of the information can be general and/or "not entirely accurate."

The way Google is going, a person's profiles and websites will usually take up the first page or two of search results, and other items will be pushed down. It's almost impossible to get third-party things removed from search results, but this is a good way to help.

/ No, I don't have anything to hide
// I work in online marketing

Oh, and if someone goes through dozens of pages of search results after meeting a date for the first or second time, that's just creepy.


Or it's a smart woman who is fully aware of current reputation managing practices.

Women: Because not dumb.
2013-11-24 09:56:33 AM  
2 votes:
From the other side of the coin, things like this is why "online reputation management" is becoming the next big thing. Basically, if bad stuff comes up high in search results when people search for your name, there are things you can do to "push" that stuff down.

Basic: Create public, fully filled-out profiles on all social networks (Google+, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.) Buy a domain for your name (or as close as possible) and put up a basic site. Remember: You don't have to tell your phone number and SSN -- a lot of the information can be general and/or "not entirely accurate."

The way Google is going, a person's profiles and websites will usually take up the first page or two of search results, and other items will be pushed down. It's almost impossible to get third-party things removed from search results, but this is a good way to help.

/ No, I don't have anything to hide
// I work in online marketing
2013-11-24 09:53:08 AM  
2 votes:
I have a relatively uncommon name. The only person that appears to share it writes really lurid online novels/stories about gay sex. Lucky me.
2013-11-24 04:53:53 PM  
1 votes:
Also turns out he's the model for goatse, so there's that . . .
2013-11-24 12:26:23 PM  
1 votes:

zamboni: Look on the bright side! You don't have to worry about getting along with your mother-in-law.


static3.fjcdn.com
2013-11-24 11:52:33 AM  
1 votes:
It's 2013, you can't expect someone, especially someone you may be intimate with or that might invite you to their home, not to Google you. It's not weird or stalkerish at all. I do a basic Google search of girls I go on dates with, see if they have a Facebook or Linkdin... and most cities or counties have their Property Appraiser records on-line now, so it's easy to do a quick check to find out where they live. I like to do a quick drive-by to make sure it's a safe neighborhood. And sometimes I'll take a quick peek at her garbage if she's not home, just to make sure I'm not dealing with a drug addict or something. It's 2013, you can't be too careful.
2013-11-24 11:03:13 AM  
1 votes:

logophile: .[upload.wikimedia.org image 340x599]

sometimes wish there had been innocence at the bottom, instead of hope.


Here's what never made sense to me about the Pandora myth:


She releases all kinds of evil and suffering intothe world, and keeps hope locked up in the box.


How does keeping hope locked up counter the evil that was unleashed? Shouldn't she have, I don't know... RELEASED HOPE AS WELL?


Farkin' Greeks were way over-rated. Aristotle didn't have the brains Zeus gave a swan.
2013-11-24 10:33:00 AM  
1 votes:

kroonermanblack: /eharmony sucks


Eharmony does suck.  I found my current GF through Match.  I found that the structured communication of Eharmony stalled out completely when we were supposed to start having free conversations.  The women there also seemed more shallow, despite the site being marketed more towards serious relationships. "Sorry if this sounds shallow, but don't bother contacting me if you're shorter than 6'2".  My Mr. Right is tall."  I don't think I got a single date through eHarmony, just a lot of bullshiat.

Good luck, and I hope you at least have some dates you enjoy, even if some might only be in hindsight.  Like the redheaded neo-Nazi that didn't understand why we didn't test all of our new drugs on convicted felons.  "But if you wanted to test a cancer drug, wouldn't you have to give them cancer?" "Yep; who cares."
2013-11-24 10:18:55 AM  
1 votes:
Googling a name is NOT stalkerish.  It's effortless and takes 10 seconds.  I remember a time when love-struck teens would doodle the names of their crushes in their notebook hundreds of times.  That's far more involved than a quick Google.

The only sad thing here is that a child has very little control over one of his parents murdering the other.  So, it's a shame, but it's also a potential indicator of mental health (which can be hereditary) or suggest that he might have some issues from his disturbed past.  Still, he's be judged for things he never did.
2013-11-24 10:15:17 AM  
1 votes:

MFAWG: Just so I have this straight: He already told her there were problems involving his family that he didn't want to talk to her about yet, but she's not really going to wait for him to tell her before she freaks out?

RUN away, dude. She';s going through your cell phone every time you go to the can right now.


You're not making much sense. Everyone takes their phones to the can these days. All of these comments except yours were made by people who were pooping at the time.
2013-11-24 10:03:02 AM  
1 votes:
 it's practically reflex for bored Web surfers

I SUDDENLY FEEL SO VALIDATED!
2013-11-24 10:01:40 AM  
1 votes:

mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.


Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.
2013-11-24 09:56:37 AM  
1 votes:

Three Crooked Squirrels: I have a relatively uncommon name. The only person that appears to share it writes really lurid online novels/stories about gay sex. Lucky me.


You should start a blog about how you're secretly straight.
2013-11-24 09:53:37 AM  
1 votes:
Gene Masseth?
2013-11-24 09:48:54 AM  
1 votes:
Years ago, my sister googled her name. She came across an article about a woman (of the same name) married to a woman (with my name) who was murdered by the other one.

Still creeps me out a bit.
2013-11-24 09:48:51 AM  
1 votes:
Lame. Bring back Prudie! Her fake, made up letters are far more entertaining.

/Glad to have a common name
//Bonus: nobody with my name appears to have a criminal record
//Double bonus: They all appear to be executives and successful business people.
 
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