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(Salt Lake Tribune)   Dear Carolyn: I have been on a few wonderful dates with this man. Out of curiosity, I Googled his name. Signed: "Wish I Never Googled"   (sltrib.com) divider line 179
    More: Obvious, Google, Carolyn Hax  
•       •       •

36073 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2013 at 9:43 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



179 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-24 09:46:40 AM  
Mike Hunt ?


DRTFA
 
2013-11-24 09:48:51 AM  
Lame. Bring back Prudie! Her fake, made up letters are far more entertaining.

/Glad to have a common name
//Bonus: nobody with my name appears to have a criminal record
//Double bonus: They all appear to be executives and successful business people.
 
2013-11-24 09:48:54 AM  
Years ago, my sister googled her name. She came across an article about a woman (of the same name) married to a woman (with my name) who was murdered by the other one.

Still creeps me out a bit.
 
2013-11-24 09:49:10 AM  
Josef Fritzl?
 
2013-11-24 09:51:55 AM  
Just so I have this straight: He already told her there were problems involving his family that he didn't want to talk to her about yet, but she's not really going to wait for him to tell her before she freaks out?

RUN away, dude. She';s going through your cell phone every time you go to the can right now.
 
2013-11-24 09:52:51 AM  
Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.
 
2013-11-24 09:53:08 AM  
I have a relatively uncommon name. The only person that appears to share it writes really lurid online novels/stories about gay sex. Lucky me.
 
2013-11-24 09:53:37 AM  
Gene Masseth?
 
2013-11-24 09:56:33 AM  
From the other side of the coin, things like this is why "online reputation management" is becoming the next big thing. Basically, if bad stuff comes up high in search results when people search for your name, there are things you can do to "push" that stuff down.

Basic: Create public, fully filled-out profiles on all social networks (Google+, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.) Buy a domain for your name (or as close as possible) and put up a basic site. Remember: You don't have to tell your phone number and SSN -- a lot of the information can be general and/or "not entirely accurate."

The way Google is going, a person's profiles and websites will usually take up the first page or two of search results, and other items will be pushed down. It's almost impossible to get third-party things removed from search results, but this is a good way to help.

/ No, I don't have anything to hide
// I work in online marketing
 
2013-11-24 09:56:37 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: I have a relatively uncommon name. The only person that appears to share it writes really lurid online novels/stories about gay sex. Lucky me.


You should start a blog about how you're secretly straight.
 
2013-11-24 09:56:43 AM  

WordyGrrl: Lame. Bring back Prudie! Her fake, made up letters are far more entertaining.

/Glad to have a common name
//Bonus: nobody with my name appears to have a criminal record
//Double bonus: They all appear to be executives and successful business people.


Two people share my name, one is a boxer while another is a priest.

Not sure if that's good or bad, honestly...
 
2013-11-24 09:57:01 AM  
Mystery vs. History.

"Haaave you met Ted...Bundy?"

img5.imageshack.us
 
2013-11-24 09:58:48 AM  
>But I came across an article about the trial of his father for murdering his mother.

Well, not every family gets along.
 
2013-11-24 09:58:58 AM  

bostonguy: From the other side of the coin, things like this is why "online reputation management" is becoming the next big thing. Basically, if bad stuff comes up high in search results when people search for your name, there are things you can do to "push" that stuff down.

Basic: Create public, fully filled-out profiles on all social networks (Google+, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.) Buy a domain for your name (or as close as possible) and put up a basic site. Remember: You don't have to tell your phone number and SSN -- a lot of the information can be general and/or "not entirely accurate."

The way Google is going, a person's profiles and websites will usually take up the first page or two of search results, and other items will be pushed down. It's almost impossible to get third-party things removed from search results, but this is a good way to help.

/ No, I don't have anything to hide
// I work in online marketing


Oh, and if someone goes through dozens of pages of search results after meeting a date for the first or second time, that's just creepy.
 
2013-11-24 10:00:33 AM  
Luckily no one else in the world has my name - can be a double-edged sword though...
 
2013-11-24 10:01:40 AM  

mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.


Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.
 
2013-11-24 10:03:02 AM  
 it's practically reflex for bored Web surfers

I SUDDENLY FEEL SO VALIDATED!
 
2013-11-24 10:03:21 AM  
I guess that means you will not be going to his family for Thanksgiving
 
2013-11-24 10:03:31 AM  

bostonguy: bostonguy: From the other side of the coin, things like this is why "online reputation management" is becoming the next big thing. Basically, if bad stuff comes up high in search results when people search for your name, there are things you can do to "push" that stuff down.

Basic: Create public, fully filled-out profiles on all social networks (Google+, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.) Buy a domain for your name (or as close as possible) and put up a basic site. Remember: You don't have to tell your phone number and SSN -- a lot of the information can be general and/or "not entirely accurate."

The way Google is going, a person's profiles and websites will usually take up the first page or two of search results, and other items will be pushed down. It's almost impossible to get third-party things removed from search results, but this is a good way to help.

/ No, I don't have anything to hide
// I work in online marketing

Oh, and if someone goes through dozens of pages of search results after meeting a date for the first or second time, that's just creepy.


Or it's a smart woman who is fully aware of current reputation managing practices.

Women: Because not dumb.
 
2013-11-24 10:03:36 AM  

phenn: Years ago, my sister googled her name. She came across an article about a woman (of the same name) married to a woman (with my name) who was murdered by the other one.

Still creeps me out a bit.


i46.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-24 10:04:16 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: I have a relatively uncommon name. The only person that appears to share it writes really lurid online novels/stories about gay sex. Lucky me.


I'm fairly certain my grandfather made up our family name when he enlisted in the Navy at age 17 (it was during WWII), and then made up a fake backstory about Ellis Island farking his family's very common name up.  It's nearly impossible to Google my family name and not find someone not related to me.
 
2013-11-24 10:07:00 AM  
adapt by pegging

Not sure if that will work.

//but if you're into it...
/nttawwt
 
2013-11-24 10:08:31 AM  
Aloysius Derwhinkle, I Googled him.  Nothing other than this article. What's he hiding?
 
2013-11-24 10:09:24 AM  
This is why I always pre-Google the fake names I give women.
 
2013-11-24 10:09:48 AM  
Have a first name that was more common in the 19th century and a fairly common last name, the only Google hits for me are from a background check agency and a couple from genealogy websites listing me as dying in 1866.
 
2013-11-24 10:09:56 AM  

KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.


I don't.

Only reason I've googled someone was to see what she looked like after meeting online.

/eharmony sucks
//Interet makes every add +5 points to their score
///No, I'm not a farking ripped 6'2", 10" cock, multimillionare
//I'm a 5'10" fat guy looking for a relationship with someone who doesn't bore me to shiat and doesn't make me go 'good god no' when I look at her
 
2013-11-24 10:10:54 AM  
Nope.

Stalky GF Detected.

Better for him to get out now.  Because this C will start going through your emails and phone next.

It will never end.
 
2013-11-24 10:15:17 AM  

MFAWG: Just so I have this straight: He already told her there were problems involving his family that he didn't want to talk to her about yet, but she's not really going to wait for him to tell her before she freaks out?

RUN away, dude. She';s going through your cell phone every time you go to the can right now.


You're not making much sense. Everyone takes their phones to the can these days. All of these comments except yours were made by people who were pooping at the time.
 
2013-11-24 10:17:36 AM  
I just Googled my ol' lady's name for the first time.

Apparently, she's involved with something called Facebook.
 
2013-11-24 10:17:54 AM  
WTF is up with the reply: "Dear Dignissim"? The alleged letter-writer signed "Wish I Never Googled," which makes the pleasant little acronym "WING." "Dignissim" is "Missing D" backward.

The world confuses me.
 
2013-11-24 10:18:29 AM  
"Missing ID."

FTFM
 
2013-11-24 10:18:55 AM  
Googling a name is NOT stalkerish.  It's effortless and takes 10 seconds.  I remember a time when love-struck teens would doodle the names of their crushes in their notebook hundreds of times.  That's far more involved than a quick Google.

The only sad thing here is that a child has very little control over one of his parents murdering the other.  So, it's a shame, but it's also a potential indicator of mental health (which can be hereditary) or suggest that he might have some issues from his disturbed past.  Still, he's be judged for things he never did.
 
2013-11-24 10:19:49 AM  
Look on the bright side! You don't have to worry about getting along with your mother-in-law.
 
2013-11-24 10:20:32 AM  
No one said it? Ok, I'll say it"That's my family, Kay; that's not me."And look how well that turned out.
 
2013-11-24 10:21:13 AM  

Pribar: Have a first name that was more common in the 19th century and a fairly common last name, the only Google hits for me are from a background check agency and a couple from genealogy websites listing me as dying in 1866.


really?

wow, you look good...
 
2013-11-24 10:22:59 AM  
.upload.wikimedia.org

sometimes wish there had been innocence at the bottom, instead of hope.
 
2013-11-24 10:23:28 AM  
This day in age, it makes perfect sense to Google someone.
 
2013-11-24 10:29:00 AM  

cman: This day in age, it makes perfect sense to Google someone.


Yeah.

Glad to hear you were finally acquitted of those charges, by the way.  Getting a goat to testify against you in court was bogus.
 
2013-11-24 10:30:16 AM  

Uranus Is Huge!: I just Googled my ol' lady's name for the first time.

Apparently, she's involved with something called Facebook.


Lol :D
 
2013-11-24 10:30:26 AM  
if anyone googles me they'd get a really cheesy article or two i wrote for the neighborhood rag in 04? co-authorship in a couple uninspiring psych and neuroscience articles, and ... that's it.  the psychotic ex thing was good for a couple things, and apparently learning how to go to ground successfully was one :D
 
2013-11-24 10:30:37 AM  
She should go to his place for Thanksgiving.

"Anyone can carve the turkey except your father."
 
2013-11-24 10:32:20 AM  

ElPollotonto: Luckily no one else in the world has my name - can be a double-edged sword though...


Tell me about it.

/Dad's ancestors name got changed to a more Turkish sounding version by occupying Turks, and never changed it back. My dad, however, changed his back when he was in the Greek army. None of the rest of his family did, so they have the "turkified" name, even though they're most definitely Greeks in Greece. Hence, there's currently 3 surviving people with my last name. Me, my brother, and my dad.
 
2013-11-24 10:33:00 AM  

kroonermanblack: /eharmony sucks


Eharmony does suck.  I found my current GF through Match.  I found that the structured communication of Eharmony stalled out completely when we were supposed to start having free conversations.  The women there also seemed more shallow, despite the site being marketed more towards serious relationships. "Sorry if this sounds shallow, but don't bother contacting me if you're shorter than 6'2".  My Mr. Right is tall."  I don't think I got a single date through eHarmony, just a lot of bullshiat.

Good luck, and I hope you at least have some dates you enjoy, even if some might only be in hindsight.  Like the redheaded neo-Nazi that didn't understand why we didn't test all of our new drugs on convicted felons.  "But if you wanted to test a cancer drug, wouldn't you have to give them cancer?" "Yep; who cares."
 
2013-11-24 10:34:51 AM  
Weedlord Bonerhitler?
 
2013-11-24 10:35:54 AM  
I have the same name as a fairly popular singer/songwriter over in the UK. (It looks like she's even gotten more popular since the last time I looked.) I'm OK with this.
 
2013-11-24 10:39:08 AM  

FarkingReading: MFAWG: Just so I have this straight: He already told her there were problems involving his family that he didn't want to talk to her about yet, but she's not really going to wait for him to tell her before she freaks out?

RUN away, dude. She';s going through your cell phone every time you go to the can right now.

You're not making much sense. Everyone takes their phones to the can these days. All of these comments except yours were made by people who were pooping at the time.


HA! Friday I'm using the facilities and a dude is on the phone next to me. I made sure to aim for the water and flush 2 or 3 times...
 
2013-11-24 10:39:18 AM  

KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.


You are still on my short list. *Kisses*
 
2013-11-24 10:39:51 AM  

born_yesterday: kroonermanblack: /eharmony sucks

Eharmony does suck.  I found my current GF through Match.  I found that the structured communication of Eharmony stalled out completely when we were supposed to start having free conversations.  The women there also seemed more shallow, despite the site being marketed more towards serious relationships. "Sorry if this sounds shallow, but don't bother contacting me if you're shorter than 6'2".  My Mr. Right is tall."  I don't think I got a single date through eHarmony, just a lot of bullshiat.

Good luck, and I hope you at least have some dates you enjoy, even if some might only be in hindsight.  Like the redheaded neo-Nazi that didn't understand why we didn't test all of our new drugs on convicted felons.  "But if you wanted to test a cancer drug, wouldn't you have to give them cancer?" "Yep; who cares."


I know it sucks if you aren't 6'2" (I'm not even close) but I'd MUCH rather a girl just come out and say it.  No sense wasting each others time if someone has a strict rule about something.
 
2013-11-24 10:44:06 AM  
What is this Google you people speak of?
 
2013-11-24 10:44:15 AM  
After my first date with my now husband I googled him. The first 5 results were recipes on various websites and the rest of the page were his various publications and school projects. From that I learned that he could cook and he could write coherently - a keeper in my book.

If you Google me you get my locked down facebook and google+ profiles, work with domestic violence shelters, a page or two of people finder services, and a rambling letter to the editor that was published this summer. Not a bad internet footprint, if I say so myself.
 
2013-11-24 10:45:45 AM  

CreamFilling: This is why I always pre-Google the fake names I give women.


News Letter? I like your strategerizing.
 
2013-11-24 10:48:00 AM  
I have a fairly common name... First name was one of the most popular names in the 60s/70s and my last name is a very common Irish surname (over five pages of them in the Dublin phone directory alone).

According to Google, seems like a lot of lawyers and doctors with a singer-songwriter and Australian football star mixed in there.

There's a guy in my hometown with the same name as me (different middle names) who was very well-known to the local cops as a thief and drug abuser... Never really interfered with my life at all, thankfully. Though, I was at the emergency room a few years back and I heard a nurse say to a doctor, "No, not that (my name)".
 
2013-11-24 10:49:24 AM  

kroonermanblack: I'm a 5'10" fat guy looking for a relationship with someone who doesn't bore me to shiat and doesn't make me go 'good god no' when I look at her


Lotta sharp knees out there, amirite?

i2.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-24 10:50:40 AM  

logophile: if anyone googles me they'd get a really cheesy article or two i wrote for the neighborhood rag in 04? co-authorship in a couple uninspiring psych and neuroscience articles, and ... that's it.   the psychotic ex thing was good for a couple things, and apparently learning how to go to ground successfully was one :D


I hear ya. Same reason I'm pretty hard to find on the interwebs.

.....Nope, I can't find me at ALL. The first 15+ pages of Google are all about the singer with the same name.
 
2013-11-24 10:54:58 AM  

born_yesterday: kroonermanblack: /eharmony sucks

Eharmony does suck.  I found my current GF through Match.  I found that the structured communication of Eharmony stalled out completely when we were supposed to start having free conversations.  The women there also seemed more shallow, despite the site being marketed more towards serious relationships. "Sorry if this sounds shallow, but don't bother contacting me if you're shorter than 6'2".  My Mr. Right is tall."  I don't think I got a single date through eHarmony, just a lot of bullshiat.

Good luck, and I hope you at least have some dates you enjoy, even if some might only be in hindsight.  Like the redheaded neo-Nazi that didn't understand why we didn't test all of our new drugs on convicted felons.  "But if you wanted to test a cancer drug, wouldn't you have to give them cancer?" "Yep; who cares."


In other news, shiat-tons of women have a princess complex. Details at 11.
 
2013-11-24 10:54:59 AM  

strapp3r: phenn: Years ago, my sister googled her name. She came across an article about a woman (of the same name) married to a woman (with my name) who was murdered by the other one.

Still creeps me out a bit.

[i46.photobucket.com image 400x181]


HAWT
 
2013-11-24 10:55:03 AM  

cryinoutloud: logophile: if anyone googles me they'd get a really cheesy article or two i wrote for the neighborhood rag in 04? co-authorship in a couple uninspiring psych and neuroscience articles, and ... that's it.   the psychotic ex thing was good for a couple things, and apparently learning how to go to ground successfully was one :D

I hear ya. Same reason I'm pretty hard to find on the interwebs.

.....Nope, I can't find me at ALL. The first 15+ pages of Google are all about the singer with the same name.


I have a common name as well. Even putting in specific info about myself, I don't show up on google.

/eight different wikipedia pages alone for my name.
 
2013-11-24 10:55:25 AM  
Dear Dumb Twat:

This is what you get for checking out on your ownwhat he trusted you to find out in due course. This being Fark, I expected him to be running a pedophile heroin ring. On the plus side, he wasn't involved in a murder, his parents are. But apparently females in his life putting their noses where it doesn't belong is a generational thing. Have fun sleeping over at the murder house.

Smooches,
Prudie
 
2013-11-24 10:56:39 AM  
I just googled my name.  There's apparently a few of us, including one from my hometown of Pittsburgh, which sucks, as I wanted to be the only one!!!!    Happy to see that I actually don't show up.  lol
 
2013-11-24 10:58:10 AM  
There are 2,449 John Perkins in the United States ( http://howmanyofme.com/search/ ).  I occasionally get email for the author (  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Perkins_(author) ) because he has (first name)(last name) .org and I have .com.  On those rare occasions I forward the message to him.
 
2013-11-24 10:59:51 AM  

Pribar: Have a first name that was more common in the 19th century and a fairly common last name, the only Google hits for me are from a background check agency and a couple from genealogy websites listing me as dying in 1866.


My name isn't incredibly uncommon, but there's a semi-prominent lobbyist who shares my name, home state, and even my high school.  Any attempt to google me winds up with about 20+ pages of this guy instead.  It's surprisingly effective at keeping my identity obscured on the interwebs, at least to casual googlers.

Another random perk relating to this: I occasionally get random perks and swag from poorly informed companies that don't have the lobbyist's home address.  I once got an In N' Out coupon from a car dealership after Mr. Lobbyist did a test-drive, for example.  Nothing makes an already-good burger taste amazing like not having to pay for it.
 
2013-11-24 11:00:01 AM  
The trick here is to share a name with a Slasher movie villain.
 
2013-11-24 11:00:35 AM  
sidhe.webs.com

I know how this fairy tale relationship ends: with you getting blood  that doesn't wash off your hands when you are entrusted with the key to the cellar. Run now, or clam yo tits.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-11-24 11:00:49 AM  
Dear Googler,

Kill yourself and leave a note blaming his parents.

Love,

The Internet
 
2013-11-24 11:01:35 AM  
This is a new reality. People will look up your info online ... or whatever appears to be your info.

Prospective employers certainly do. And their "background search" tools are a lot more invasive of your privacy than The Google.

money.cnn.com
 
2013-11-24 11:03:13 AM  

logophile: .[upload.wikimedia.org image 340x599]

sometimes wish there had been innocence at the bottom, instead of hope.


Here's what never made sense to me about the Pandora myth:


She releases all kinds of evil and suffering intothe world, and keeps hope locked up in the box.


How does keeping hope locked up counter the evil that was unleashed? Shouldn't she have, I don't know... RELEASED HOPE AS WELL?


Farkin' Greeks were way over-rated. Aristotle didn't have the brains Zeus gave a swan.
 
2013-11-24 11:03:41 AM  
My name is so common, there was a guy in the next city over, when I was growing up, with the same exact first, middle, and last names.
It's the best anonymity.
 
2013-11-24 11:08:20 AM  
Chuck Palahniuk's grandfather killed Chuck's grandmother.  If I had known that earlier, I never would have read that degenerate's novels.
 
2013-11-24 11:08:50 AM  
Oddly enough my name seems to be unique. When I search for myself, I get nothing but my facebook page, patents, public list posts, etc. Honestly I think you are better having a common name.
 
2013-11-24 11:09:06 AM  
Google is part of the reason that my wife still uses her maiden name.  Her first name plus my last name gives an eastern european porn star that is into anal fisting
 
2013-11-24 11:10:08 AM  

whither_apophis: I have a common name as well. Even putting in specific info about myself, I don't show up on google.
/eight different wikipedia pages alone for my name.


My name isn't common (4 in the U.S), I"m just lucky that I share it with someone famous.

You know, if you google your name along with "white pages" they have you. In a lot of those pages. Your name, address, previous addresses, map to your house, and people you might be connected to. You can get your entry deleted, but they pop up somewhere else as fast as unwanted phone books.
 
2013-11-24 11:11:44 AM  

StopLurkListen: This is a new reality. People will look up your info online ... or whatever appears to be your info.

Prospective employers certainly do. And their "background search" tools are a lot more invasive of your privacy than The Google.

[money.cnn.com image 270x220]


Man, drug screening should be illegal.  I can understand verifying employment history, education history and your references, but drug screening tends to only affect potheads, as pot is what stays in your system the longest.
 
2013-11-24 11:11:57 AM  

Mazzic518: KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.

You are still on my short list. *Kisses*


I don't know. You seem way too into WOW for me?

And no I'm not the creator of that web comic. I had my ID first. She copied me.
 
2013-11-24 11:14:48 AM  

bostonguy: From the other side of the coin, things like this is why "online reputation management" is becoming the next big thing. Basically, if bad stuff comes up high in search results when people search for your name, there are things you can do to "push" that stuff down.

Basic: Create public, fully filled-out profiles on all social networks (Google+, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.) Buy a domain for your name (or as close as possible) and put up a basic site. Remember: You don't have to tell your phone number and SSN -- a lot of the information can be general and/or "not entirely accurate."

The way Google is going, a person's profiles and websites will usually take up the first page or two of search results, and other items will be pushed down. It's almost impossible to get third-party things removed from search results, but this is a good way to help.

/ No, I don't have anything to hide
// I work in online marketing


I get googled a lot for business.

I had to make a twitter account because a guy in my town with the same name had one full of tea party BS and pyramid scheme promotions. Ugh
 
2013-11-24 11:22:04 AM  
kroonermanblack:
Only reason I've googled someone was to see what she looked like after meeting online.

I googled my name, clicked 'images' and scrolled through pages of ONLY knock-dead beautiful women: movie stars, medical doctors, professors, artists, local high-achievers (also hot), older attractive women, pretty faces (in b&w) from history, and one photo of geek me in street clothes, mid-surprise face (ahyuk!) accepting a raffle prize.

Kinda glad I'm not dating now...
 
2013-11-24 11:26:53 AM  
If anyone googled my real name, they'd find everyone in the world who shares my name, but they wouldn't find me.
 
2013-11-24 11:29:51 AM  
The man I'm stalking has a semi-common name, no land line and no Facebook account. I'm so frustrated.
 
2013-11-24 11:30:25 AM  
There's a guy with my name who keeps giving it out to his friends.  About once a month I get a random email from one of his friends and I've taken to finding creative ways to reply to them.  Last February his fiance sent me a Valentine's Day eCard (made in Powerpoint WTF).  I thought that was a pretty sweethearted move of her.
 
2013-11-24 11:30:46 AM  
Bastard Toadflax:

Farkin' Greeks were way over-rated. Aristotle didn't have the brains Zeus gave a swan.


if Zeus was giving that swan brains, the gods' anatomies are *way* different than ours. D;
 
2013-11-24 11:31:03 AM  

Bastard Toadflax: logophile: .[upload.wikimedia.org image 340x599]

sometimes wish there had been innocence at the bottom, instead of hope.

Here's what never made sense to me about the Pandora myth:


She releases all kinds of evil and suffering intothe world, and keeps hope locked up in the box.


How does keeping hope locked up counter the evil that was unleashed? Shouldn't she have, I don't know... RELEASED HOPE AS WELL?


Farkin' Greeks were way over-rated. Aristotle didn't have the brains Zeus gave a swan.


No, dude. Hope (actually "expectation" - either good (hope) or bad (dread)) is the only thing in our control still.
 
2013-11-24 11:34:07 AM  

Diogenes: Mystery vs. History.

"Haaave you met Ted...Bundy?"

[img5.imageshack.us image 500x281]


Too much time in the tanning bed, Ms. Remini.
 
2013-11-24 11:35:08 AM  
 
2013-11-24 11:36:04 AM  

logophile: .[upload.wikimedia.org image 340x599]

sometimes wish there had been innocence at the bottom, instead of hope.


Is it bad that I read that as "cervix"?

Yeah, it's probably bad.
 
2013-11-24 11:38:28 AM  

cryinoutloud: logophile: if anyone googles me they'd get a really cheesy article or two i wrote for the neighborhood rag in 04? co-authorship in a couple uninspiring psych and neuroscience articles, and ... that's it.   the psychotic ex thing was good for a couple things, and apparently learning how to go to ground successfully was one :D

I hear ya. Same reason I'm pretty hard to find on the interwebs.

.....Nope, I can't find me at ALL. The first 15+ pages of Google are all about the singer with the same name.


Hello, my friend named Michael Bolton?

/he has a wife, you know...
 
2013-11-24 11:40:23 AM  

satanorsanta: Her first name plus my last name gives an eastern european porn star that is into anal fisting


That's practically the definition of "giving".
 
2013-11-24 11:42:21 AM  
There are pluses and minuses to sharing a name. One of your doppelgangers might become famous.

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ghee-na-na-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well, at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know, there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There *was* nothing wrong with it... until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.


I have at least two doppelgangers. One writes embarrassingly bad fiction. No, he's not rich or famous or award-winning. Yes, I bought his book.
 
2013-11-24 11:47:05 AM  

Bastard Toadflax: logophile: .[upload.wikimedia.org image 340x599]

sometimes wish there had been innocence at the bottom, instead of hope.

Here's what never made sense to me about the Pandora myth:


She releases all kinds of evil and suffering intothe world, and keeps hope locked up in the box.


How does keeping hope locked up counter the evil that was unleashed? Shouldn't she have, I don't know... RELEASED HOPE AS WELL?


Farkin' Greeks were way over-rated. Aristotle didn't have the brains Zeus gave a swan.


I can understand someone hating to read Aristotle, but I don't see how you can think he was brainless.
 
2013-11-24 11:47:46 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: I have a relatively uncommon name. The only person that appears to share it writes really lurid online novels/stories about gay sex. Lucky me.


Oh yeah, for a long time the top result when one searched for my somewhat unusual name, was an amateur poet who wrote a bunch of crappy teen-style suicide poetry. I'd often get people who seemed to have googled my name and found this, because they'd give me compliments on my poetry (an obvious mistake because I don't write any.) Who knows how many people read it, thought it was by me, and didn't mention it.
 
2013-11-24 11:52:18 AM  
Just about everyone should have a White Pages and Spokeo hit on Google. Just because something is public record doesn't mean I appreciate having my age, sex, address, parents and spouse blasted all over the Internet. Tried pulling the "accounts" using their instructions and they pop up again in a matter of months.
 
2013-11-24 11:52:33 AM  
It's 2013, you can't expect someone, especially someone you may be intimate with or that might invite you to their home, not to Google you. It's not weird or stalkerish at all. I do a basic Google search of girls I go on dates with, see if they have a Facebook or Linkdin... and most cities or counties have their Property Appraiser records on-line now, so it's easy to do a quick check to find out where they live. I like to do a quick drive-by to make sure it's a safe neighborhood. And sometimes I'll take a quick peek at her garbage if she's not home, just to make sure I'm not dealing with a drug addict or something. It's 2013, you can't be too careful.
 
2013-11-24 11:54:14 AM  

satanorsanta: Google is part of the reason that my wife still uses her maiden name.  Her first name plus my last name gives an eastern european porn star that is into anal fisting


Danielle Rush?
 
2013-11-24 11:57:24 AM  
I have a fairly common name that I share with a b-list movie star.  Googling me is fruitless.

Searching for my name and my city, though, used to yield news stories about a man my age accused of murder.  I'm glad that's out of the top search results.
 
2013-11-24 11:58:54 AM  
I've had some trouble over the years getting second dates with women. I don't understand. I have a steady job with a good income. A house. Two cars. Maybe I should google my name and see what comes up. Of course, how common a name is Charles Manson Berkowitz?
 
2013-11-24 11:59:35 AM  
I did a GIS for my name. Now I wish I hadn't.

I'm someone who likes to take pictures, mostly travel-related stuff. Most people who know me know that about me. But apparently there's a pro photographer with my name...and he's got some disturbingly abusive bukkake-type shiat in his portfolio.

I wonder if anyone thinks that stuff is mine.
 
2013-11-24 11:59:51 AM  
If you Google me you get one child actress and one apparently famous Satanist. And then like a thousand boring people, one of whom is me... BUT WHICH ONE?
 
2013-11-24 12:00:21 PM  
Salt Lake Tribune, huh? Shouldn't be too hard to narrow it down. We know it wasn't one of Josh Powell's sons, he doesn't have any kids.

/aisle seat
 
2013-11-24 12:01:52 PM  
Last time I Googled my name, I discovered it's not exactly uncommon. Actually, I had to do a lot of searching before I found the 'real me'. Even then, it told very little about me.

Of course, I discovered I have around 150 'relatives'.
 
2013-11-24 12:07:07 PM  
So momma's in the graveyard, poppa's in the pen?

/Not the biggest deal ever
//She should just STFU and let him talk about it
 
2013-11-24 12:11:00 PM  

cards fan by association: Just about everyone should have a White Pages and Spokeo hit on Google. Just because something is public record doesn't mean I appreciate having my age, sex, address, parents and spouse blasted all over the Internet. Tried pulling the "accounts" using their instructions and they pop up again in a matter of months.


I don't really care for it either. When I just checked, apparently I'm now friends with some man I have never heard of in Minnesota. How does stuff like that get in there? AND I can see his name, age, address, a map to his house.......hey, looks nice.

The only thing I can figure is that maybe it's a Farker who sent me an email or something. Or it's......no one. Just a random wrong connection.
 
2013-11-24 12:15:58 PM  
I share a name with a famous Christian rock singer. Googling it gets over 35-40 pages before anything related to me appears. I also get email from 14 year old girls thanking me for my inspirational devotion to Jesus through my music. I am an electronic musician who doesn't sing... Imagine my confusion before I realized this other guy was out there. I also get tagged in Instagram multiple times every time he performs a concert, myspace 'stole' my URL after two years, with no warning, because I wasn't the 'right' me.
 
2013-11-24 12:16:20 PM  

WordyGrrl: Lame. Bring back Prudie! Her fake, made up letters are far more entertaining.

/Glad to have a common name
//Bonus: nobody with my name appears to have a criminal record
//Double bonus: They all appear to be executives and successful business people.


I Google my name every now and then just to feel bad. I am very successful in my field, but in the first 10 pages of Google you'll find nearly two dozen others of the same name in the top 1% of their field - concert musicians, neurosurgeons, scientists. The results are chock full of national news articles, personality spotlights, and journals with their accomplishments. I usually get a mention in there just because I have a profile on LinkedIn and they pay Google to be in the top results.

On the up side, there are no messy legal or moral results.
 
2013-11-24 12:19:06 PM  
duhmeme.httpeq2gucom.netdna-cdn.com
 
2013-11-24 12:26:23 PM  

zamboni: Look on the bright side! You don't have to worry about getting along with your mother-in-law.


static3.fjcdn.com
 
2013-11-24 12:31:29 PM  

zamboni: Look on the bright side! You don't have to worry about getting along with your mother-in-law.


That is, indeed, the smartest comment ever.
 
2013-11-24 12:32:01 PM  

Mr_Fabulous: I did a GIS for my name. Now I wish I hadn't.

I'm someone who likes to take pictures, mostly travel-related stuff. Most people who know me know that about me. But apparently there's a pro photographer with my name...and he's got some disturbingly abusive bukkake-type shiat in his portfolio.

I wonder if anyone thinks that stuff is mine.


If you want to increase the changes that your photos will appear in GIS for your name, use these HTML tags when you upload (the code is an example):

<a href="http://www.mrfabulous.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/mr-fabulou s-flowers.png"><img class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-387" alt="mr-fabulous-flowers" src="http://www.mrfabulous.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/mr-fabulous -flowers" width="550" height="235" /></a>

Say you take and upload a picture of flowers. In the blog items above:

1. and 3.) Save the file as firstname-lastname-flowers.png (or whatever format)
2. Use firstname-lastname-flowers as the alt tag (the text that appears instead of the image when a blind person surfs the Internet -- it's a ranking factor)

a href = the link to which the person is taken when clicking on the photo
a src = the location of the image on your server

Be sure to use hyphens and not underscores in these items.

If you need any clarifications, reply and I'll see it. Good luck!

/ SEO guy, among other things
 
2013-11-24 12:37:05 PM  
Heh. Googling my name showed me there was a character in a Noel Coward play.
 
2013-11-24 12:38:47 PM  
Thankfully, I share names with an NHL player. Any googling of me turns up a half-dozen pages of entries on him before I pop up.
 
2013-11-24 12:39:03 PM  
Interesting. Hadn't Googled myself in ages.  If I use my full name (Michael), I get a 411 listing, a link to Google+ (that I don't use), and a link to the Class of '86 for Richmond High. It would be a correct link if I lived in Richmond, Virginia; but, I went to Richmond, BC Canada.
  If I use (Mike). I get the 411, and Google+, no school, but, a list to the FidoNet Resources. In the BBS days, I was the hub for SW Canada. Forgot about that.

/CSB
 
2013-11-24 12:41:56 PM  

Mr_Fabulous: I did a GIS for my name. Now I wish I hadn't.

I'm someone who likes to take pictures, mostly travel-related stuff. Most people who know me know that about me. But apparently there's a pro photographer with my name...and he's got some disturbingly abusive bukkake-type shiat in his portfolio.

I wonder if anyone thinks that stuff is mine.


While I'm also thinking about it. If you're a serious pro:

1. Create a website (preferably with your real name) such as www.mrfabulousphotography.com
2. Create a Google+ account for you (as a person with your real name) and a Google+ page (for the business website)
3. Connect the two Google+ profiles to your website

If you Google on how to use these things, you'll find some easy guides. It's not too hard -- just need very basic web-fu. This -- along with the tagging I mentioned above -- will help a lot to show your pictures for searches for your name rather than that other guy.
 
2013-11-24 12:43:34 PM  
Diogenes: Mystery vs. History.
 
"Haaave you met Ted...Bundy?"

[img5.imageshack.us image 500x281]



http://tedmosebyisajerk.com
http://tedmosebyisnotajerk.com
 
2013-11-24 12:44:49 PM  

Mr_Fabulous: I did a GIS for my name. Now I wish I hadn't.

I'm someone who likes to take pictures, mostly travel-related stuff. Most people who know me know that about me. But apparently there's a pro photographer with my name...and he's got some disturbingly abusive bukkake-type shiat in his portfolio.

I wonder if anyone thinks that stuff is mine.


Oh, and try to get as many people to "+1" (Google's version of "like") your Google+ business page, the website as a whole and individual pages / pictures on the site. Add +1 buttons, etc.
 
2013-11-24 12:52:11 PM  

kroonermanblack: //I'm a 5'10" fat guy looking for a relationship with someone who doesn't bore me to shiat and doesn't make me go 'good god no' when I look at her


Everybody get a load of Mister High Standards here.
 
2013-11-24 12:53:42 PM  
I have a once-pro football player with my name, and he's got the top few pages covered, with me, the lawyer, the city planner and the real-estate agent coming in results here and there. I'm always surprised how common my name is; there are several others in my county.
 
2013-11-24 12:59:37 PM  

Robert1966: I can understand someone hating to read Aristotle, but I don't see how you can think he was brainless.


He was so spectacularly wrong about such simple things. For instance: he thought people have 36 teeth. For a guy credited with inventing science, he sure was a shiatty scientist.
 
2013-11-24 01:03:59 PM  

keylock71: I have a fairly common name... First name was one of the most popular names in the 60s/70s and my last name is a very common Irish surname (over five pages of them in the Dublin phone directory alone).

According to Google, seems like a lot of lawyers and doctors with a singer-songwriter and Australian football star mixed in there.

There's a guy in my hometown with the same name as me (different middle names) who was very well-known to the local cops as a thief and drug abuser... Never really interfered with my life at all, thankfully. Though, I was at the emergency room a few years back and I heard a nurse say to a doctor, "No, not that (my name)".


I work with a woman with the same name as the town floozy. We call her "not that" Jenny.
 
2013-11-24 01:04:47 PM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: I know it sucks if you aren't 6'2" (I'm not even close) but I'd MUCH rather a girl just come out and say it.  No sense wasting each others time if someone has a strict rule about something.


Maybe the chick is really tall. I'm only 5'2" and while I wouldn't rule someone out for looks, I do know that sex can be awkward as hell with very tall people, for me, at least, and I am pretty flexible dude to dancing and yoga.  Things just don't line up right. I'd prefer a guy 5'7" or under to someone 6'2".

If she is, say, a 6' woman, she might feel weird or uncomfortable with a man who is shorter than she is, maybe she's self-conscious about being particularly tall.
 
2013-11-24 01:07:01 PM  
... I meant to say I am flexible DUE to dancing and yoga.  Christ, that made that sentence really gay and awkward, especially since people on here think I'm a guy half the time....  Jeez.
 
2013-11-24 01:08:57 PM  
I don't have a very common name; there are maybe a dozen of us in the U.S., but two of us dominate the initial Google search results. You don't need to know much about me to figure out that I'm not the dancer with this name.

Back in the day, I worked for someone of Italian descent from New Jersey. We had gotten an inquiry from a potential client that was recommended to us. The initial conversation went well, but then they didn't get back to us for a while after. Turns out they had Googled my boss, and his name popped up in a NY Daily News article about a mob guy who had been indicted for murder in Brooklyn, so they were kind of nervous about pursuing a business relationship. They were pretty happy to hear that the guy in the paper was no relation. (Although, one of the boss's cousins *was* married into one of the local crime families...)
 
2013-11-24 01:09:38 PM  

KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.


Googling is not the problem.  You have missed the point entirely.

The problem lies in telling the guy "I know your dad murdered your mom, it's difficult to talk about, and you don't want to talk about it now... but when you do, I'll be ready.  Are you ready now?  No?  How about now?"

Common sense says sure, google the person.  But when they've already indicated that they need time before they raise a difficult subject, you wait until they are ready to raise it.  You don't pre-empt them like a rabid journalist after the latest Rob Ford revelation.  Doing it to a casual date puts a big screaming "I have no patience and no respect for your feelings" sign on your back.
 
2013-11-24 01:09:58 PM  
Googling my hyphenated married name gives my facebook profile, plus that of someone who shares my maiden name, whom i'm friends with on facebook because i googled my own name years ago and found her and started talking to her. We share a surprising amount of interests.
 
2013-11-24 01:14:59 PM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Chuck Palahniuk's grandfather killed Chuck's grandmother.  If I had known that earlier, I never would have read that degenerate's novels.


Novels? So, you liked the first one at least. I enjoyed Haunted and Pygmy myself. Reading Rant now. Chuck isn't for the squeamish.
 
2013-11-24 01:16:06 PM  
I once found out a guy with my name was on trial for diddling kids. Scary, but luckily our middle names weren't the same, he looks nothing me, and lives in a state I've never been to.
 
2013-11-24 01:19:31 PM  

Thurston Howell: Googling is not the problem.  You have missed the point entirely.

The problem lies in telling the guy "I know your dad murdered your mom, it's difficult to talk about, and you don't want to talk about it now... but when you do, I'll be ready.  Are you ready now?  No?  How about now?"

Common sense says sure, google the person.  But when they've already indicated that they need time before they raise a difficult subject, you wait until they are ready to raise it.  You don't pre-empt them like a rabid journalist after the latest Rob Ford revelation.  Doing it to a casual date puts a big screaming "I have no patience and no respect for your feelings" sign on your back.


EXACTLY.  So you Googled. Big deal. We have all Googled people (you're lying if you say you never have) and we have Googled ourselves.  She found something horrible. So she freaking BROUGHT IT UP? Seriously? She has no couth and no common sense.  Shockingly, most people try not to talk about their life horrors and traumas early in a relationship. For many reasons. Such as the fact that it is hard to talk about. Or not something they talk about easily. Or not something they want everyone to know about because it was in the past and they moved away and people don't look at them and think of them as "that person that horrible thing happened to" (in this case, "the poor kid who's father killed his mother.")  OR they just don't want to scare people away, as that kind of thing is a pretty huge revelation.

I am honestly glad I am dating one of my best friends. It really, really took a lot of this crazy bullshiat out of the equation because we know so much about each other and kind of... already know the good and the bad and how deep the muck can get, if that makes sense.
 
2013-11-24 01:19:48 PM  

keylock71: I have a fairly common name... First name was one of the most popular names in the 60s/70s and my last name is a very common Irish surname (over five pages of them in the Dublin phone directory alone).

According to Google, seems like a lot of lawyers and doctors with a singer-songwriter and Australian football star mixed in there.

There's a guy in my hometown with the same name as me (different middle names) who was very well-known to the local cops as a thief and drug abuser... Never really interfered with my life at all, thankfully. Though, I was at the emergency room a few years back and I heard a nurse say to a doctor, "No, not that (my name)".


Steve O'Donnell? David Farity?
 
2013-11-24 01:22:28 PM  

Shadowtag: I once found out a guy with my name was on trial for diddling kids. Scary, but luckily our middle names weren't the same, he looks nothing me, and lives in a state I've never been to.


That's actually why they tend to identify criminals by their full names. To avoid things like John James Smith the child molester wrecking the life of John Aaron Smith, successful surgeon and local hero, who saved an old lady from a burning building.
 
2013-11-24 01:37:17 PM  

KawaiiNot: Mazzic518: KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.

You are still on my short list. *Kisses*

I don't know. You seem way too into WOW for me?

And no I'm not the creator of that web comic. I had my ID first. She copied me.


:( I haven't even played today.
 
2013-11-24 01:50:17 PM  
Joel Rifkin
 
2013-11-24 02:01:44 PM  
I have a not-too-common name, and am a transsexual. The two top hits on Google are me, and someone who is an evangelical christian singer.

I wonder which of us has it worse? ;-)
 
2013-11-24 02:15:41 PM  
Well, women who google me always end up disappointed to learn I'm not really a professional surfer.  Hits for a pro surfer is what shows up first when you google my name.
 
2013-11-24 02:27:52 PM  
Dear Varmitydog • I met this guy in a different city and we had a few great dates. One night I was casually Googling his name. Very innocently - I swear - I just thought I could see his work projects or something like that. But I came across an article about the trial of his father for murdering his mother. I am absolutely sure it is him. I feel like I invaded his privacy, and now he doesn't have a chance to tell me on his own time. But I also feel a little scared. He mentioned very briefly that he had a difficult family that he wasn't ready to talk me about yet, but I wasn't picturing anything close to this. We are so casual at this point, but I don't think I want to stop talking to him just because of the sins of his father. But I am a little scared. How do I bring this up?

Wish I Never Googled


Dear Wish: This is what you do. You go on and have sex with him, and right before he climaxes, say to him: "Soooooo, your daddy killed your ma, huh?" If he can finish, he's a keeper.
 
2013-11-24 02:31:57 PM  

bostonguy: Mr_Fabulous: I did a GIS for my name. Now I wish I hadn't.

I'm someone who likes to take pictures, mostly travel-related stuff. Most people who know me know that about me. But apparently there's a pro photographer with my name...and he's got some disturbingly abusive bukkake-type shiat in his portfolio.

I wonder if anyone thinks that stuff is mine.

While I'm also thinking about it. If you're a serious pro:

1. Create a website (preferably with your real name) such as www.mrfabulousphotography.com
2. Create a Google+ account for you (as a person with your real name) and a Google+ page (for the business website)
3. Connect the two Google+ profiles to your website

If you Google on how to use these things, you'll find some easy guides. It's not too hard -- just need very basic web-fu. This -- along with the tagging I mentioned above -- will help a lot to show your pictures for searches for your name rather than that other guy.


Thanks, man...I appreciate the knowledgeable advice. But I'm neither that serious, nor that good in all honesty.  If you'd like to see my (and Mrs fab's) travel pics, we have been to some cool places actually... We're here:

onelittleworld.zenfolio.com
 
2013-11-24 02:32:53 PM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: I have a relatively uncommon name. The only person that appears to share it writes really lurid online novels/stories about gay sex. Lucky me.


Ben Dover, is that you?
 
2013-11-24 02:35:20 PM  

Telos: WordyGrrl: Lame. Bring back Prudie! Her fake, made up letters are far more entertaining.

/Glad to have a common name
//Bonus: nobody with my name appears to have a criminal record
//Double bonus: They all appear to be executives and successful business people.

Two people share my name, one is a boxer while another is a priest.

Not sure if that's good or bad, honestly...


A quick Google shows several stories of priests who were also boxers, so that may good. "Hey, this guy's got to be interesting at a cocktail party. Let's hire him!"
 
2013-11-24 02:37:16 PM  

Carousel Beast: WordyGrrl: Lame. Bring back Prudie! Her fake, made up letters are far more entertaining.

/Glad to have a common name
//Bonus: nobody with my name appears to have a criminal record
//Double bonus: They all appear to be executives and successful business people.

I Google my name every now and then just to feel bad. I am very successful in my field, but in the first 10 pages of Google you'll find nearly two dozen others of the same name in the top 1% of their field - concert musicians, neurosurgeons, scientists. The results are chock full of national news articles, personality spotlights, and journals with their accomplishments. I usually get a mention in there just because I have a profile on LinkedIn and they pay Google to be in the top results.

On the up side, there are no messy legal or moral results.


And that is what it's all about, really. You are in the clear!
 
2013-11-24 02:45:41 PM  

MFAWG: FarkingReading: MFAWG: Just so I have this straight: He already told her there were problems involving his family that he didn't want to talk to her about yet, but she's not really going to wait for him to tell her before she freaks out?

RUN away, dude. She';s going through your cell phone every time you go to the can right now.

You're not making much sense. Everyone takes their phones to the can these days. All of these comments except yours were made by people who were pooping at the time.

HA! Friday I'm using the facilities and a dude is on the phone next to me. I made sure to aim for the water and flush 2 or 3 times...


Hah - I always really want to make loud fart noises by blowing into my elbow or hands when someone is on the phone in the bathroom
 
2013-11-24 02:55:53 PM  

dopekitty74: Googling my hyphenated married name gives my facebook profile, plus that of someone who shares my maiden name, whom i'm friends with on facebook because i googled my own name years ago and found her and started talking to her. We share a surprising amount of interests.


What is the purpose of hyphening your last name with another person? What happens when your hyphen kids want to hyphen their name with someone else? Why not just keep your name? If you really wanted to, you could give the sons the fathers last name and the daughters the mothers last name. The whole hyphen thing never seemed well thought out to me.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-11-24 02:58:03 PM  
gwenners: I have a not-too-common name, and am a transsexual. The two top hits on Google are me, and someone who is an evangelical christian singer. I wonder which of us has it worse? ;-)

You could be an extra verse to Tom Petty's "Yer So Bad," which begins

My sister got lucky, married a yuppie
Took him for all he was worth
Now she's a swinger dating a singer
I can't decide which is worse
 
2013-11-24 02:58:56 PM  
Just popped in here to say I love Carolyn Hax.  She's the most levelheaded advice columnist ever.  She gives actual useful advice.
 
2013-11-24 03:05:09 PM  
Happened to my (ex)wife's parents.  Her father killed her mother and himself.  Her mother was incurably ill and her father couldn't bear the thought of living without her.
 
2013-11-24 03:05:18 PM  
I couldn't find anything about me in the "First Last" results.  Tons of different people, though there were multiple results each for football, baseball, wrestling (particularly images), and a fictional secret agent.

"First Middle Last" returned only 15 results; 7 of those actually referred to me, but only as one name among many on the same university honors list.  Meh.
 
2013-11-24 03:22:41 PM  

kroonermanblack: KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.

I don't.

Only reason I've googled someone was to see what she looked like after meeting online.

/eharmony sucks
//Interet makes every add +5 points to their score
///No, I'm not a farking ripped 6'2", 10" cock, multimillionare
//I'm a 5'10" fat guy looking for a relationship with someone who doesn't bore me to shiat and doesn't make me go 'good god no' when I look at her


All you really need is a 10" cock and the rest of it either doesn't matter, or it's gravy.

/yes, size matters, just like boobies
 
2013-11-24 03:32:57 PM  
CSB:

My husband is a PGA swing coach. Google his name, and of course this comes up. What's creepy is there's a guy in Canada who is a CPGA pro, same name. If I need to ask him to do something he doesn't want to do, I'd jokingly ask if I'd have to go ask the Canadian version of him instead.
 
2013-11-24 03:35:02 PM  

dok9874: All you really need is a 10" cock and the rest of it either doesn't matter, or it's gravy


Tried that, didn't work so well, the little bastard kept pecking at us all through the date....
 
2013-11-24 03:40:40 PM  

born_yesterday: kroonermanblack: /eharmony sucks

Eharmony does suck.  I found my current GF through Match.  I found that the structured communication of Eharmony stalled out completely when we were supposed to start having free conversations.  The women there also seemed more shallow, despite the site being marketed more towards serious relationships. "Sorry if this sounds shallow, but don't bother contacting me if you're shorter than 6'2".  My Mr. Right is tall."  I don't think I got a single date through eHarmony, just a lot of bullshiat.

Good luck, and I hope you at least have some dates you enjoy, even if some might only be in hindsight.  Like the redheaded neo-Nazi that didn't understand why we didn't test all of our new drugs on convicted felons.  "But if you wanted to test a cancer drug, wouldn't you have to give them cancer?" "Yep; who cares."




Women on eHarmoney seem to be big fans of romance novels.
 
2013-11-24 03:42:59 PM  
Just for shiggles, I recently did a GIS on a new (and attractive) co-worker.  Turns out she used to do modeling.  Lucky me!

www.subesports.com
 
2013-11-24 03:47:38 PM  

NoblePatrick: Just for shiggles, I recently did a GIS on a new (and attractive) co-worker.  Turns out she used to do modeling.  Lucky me!

[www.subesports.com image 300x448]


Perhaps you should provide a link to the search results...
 
2013-11-24 04:01:03 PM  

gaslight: >But I came across an article about the trial of his father for murdering his mother.

Well, not every family gets along.


I could see freaking out if he were accused of killing one or the other of his parents, but it's not like this guy asked to have a murdering father.  So me think the AW is over-reacting just a bit.  It's not as though there is some sort of third date rule where you have to spill all of your family secrets to someone.  What was he supposed to do, say, "Hi, my name is John Smith and I'm bummed right now about my family 'cause my dad is accused of killing my mom?"  Then the chick would be biatching cause his opening line sucked!
 
2013-11-24 04:12:06 PM  
I always hated my name, but at least google confuses me with doctors, politicians, people of entirely different races, people with good taste in music and in one case, a particularly famous actor who's last name is my middle name. Thank you google, for being so invasive that you obscure.
 
2013-11-24 04:13:08 PM  
This is why I had my name legally changed to Midget Boner.
 
2013-11-24 04:19:16 PM  

serpent_sky: ... I meant to say I am flexible DUE to dancing and yoga.  Christ, that made that sentence really gay and awkward, especially since people on here think I'm a guy half the time....  Jeez.


LULZ
 
2013-11-24 04:42:30 PM  

Carousel Beast: I Google my name every now and then just to feel bad.


My name gives results for a former President of Mexico.  You have to click "next" a LOT of time to find the real me.  Occasionally I get emails in Spanish from some misguided soul who thinks they have found his private account.  On the other hand if I travel in Mexico I suppose I should expect the penthouse suite.
 
2013-11-24 04:53:53 PM  
Also turns out he's the model for goatse, so there's that . . .
 
2013-11-24 05:48:47 PM  

Empty H: dopekitty74: Googling my hyphenated married name gives my facebook profile, plus that of someone who shares my maiden name, whom i'm friends with on facebook because i googled my own name years ago and found her and started talking to her. We share a surprising amount of interests.

What is the purpose of hyphening your last name with another person? What happens when your hyphen kids want to hyphen their name with someone else? Why not just keep your name? If you really wanted to, you could give the sons the fathers last name and the daughters the mothers last name. The whole hyphen thing never seemed well thought out to me.


Well past the point of kids. I had my kids when i was younger, broke up with their dad in 2007, met and married hubby when i was in my mid thirties. I'd been myfirstname mylastname for so long, I didn't want to drop my maiden name completely, so I hyphenated. When I get divorced (this is a sure thing at this point, long story...) I can just drop his last name and go back to normal.
 
2013-11-24 06:06:21 PM  

FuzedBox: I always hated my name, but at least google confuses me with doctors, politicians, people of entirely different races, people with good taste in music and in one case, a particularly famous actor who's last name is my middle name. Thank you google, for being so invasive that you obscure.


Same here . Lucky for me a well known former hockey player and a former state senator have surpassed my achievements so even the lawyers and business men who share my name are buried several pages deep in Google .
 
2013-11-24 06:28:20 PM  
Pfftt, Google is so hit and miss and you have to have lots of info up front to make sure it's the right person. I like to show my target how much I care by logging into various public records databases before the first date. Criminal records, sex offender registry, property records, marriage/divorce, real age, ex spouses, children, etc...Then I plug the addresses into Google Maps (his and his ex's) and use the little yellow street view guy to zoom into the satellite picture and examine their house, yard, vehicles - a lot of streetview pics are very recent!

It's always so romantic when I can finish their sentences on the first date.

Him: I was driving to work the other day...Me: when you got your second DUI? I know, that totally must have sucked!

Him: My ex wife...Me: was a total coont who farked you over! I saw she kept the house (much nicer than this apartment, btw) but your child support payments aren't enough to disqualify you based on the income you'll available to spend on me :)

Him: Um, I'm not sure...Me: how long until your credit score improves past 550? Probably gonna be a while. Oh, and your kids hate you, according to their social media. LOL, kids these days, they just don't give a crap about privacy, do they.

I feel like I've known you forever! It's like we were meant to be together, I really understand you and I know you're going to fall madly in love with me. That's what your astrological sign says!
 
2013-11-24 06:57:27 PM  
Google my name and you get hits on lots of obituaries.

/people I'm related to seem to die with regularity
//no, not from unnatural causes
///as far as you know
 
2013-11-24 07:49:58 PM  
Uh, so my father shares the name of a guy who killed his wife, and lives in a similarly named town...enough that the two would be (and have been) very easily confused.

About two weeks ago, after three really good dates and an excited understanding that we'd keep seeing eachother, the girl I was seeing dropped off the face of the earth.

Oh, I also live in Salt Lake City...
 
2013-11-24 08:54:36 PM  
was it this couple?

images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-11-24 09:08:39 PM  

FriarReb98: Three Crooked Squirrels: I have a relatively uncommon name. The only person that appears to share it writes really lurid online novels/stories about gay sex. Lucky me.

I'm fairly certain my grandfather made up our family name when he enlisted in the Navy at age 17 (it was during WWII), and then made up a fake backstory about Ellis Island farking his family's very common name up.  It's nearly impossible to Google my family name and not find someone not related to me.


I don't see why it would have to be untrue.   I have a name in my family tree a few generations back that is the same; it is unique to this country and it only belongs to that part of my family.  Why?  When my ancestors got off the boat, their name on the ship's log was misread/mistranscribed.  Cursive handwriting happens.
 
2013-11-24 09:23:14 PM  

born_yesterday: kroonermanblack: /eharmony sucks

Eharmony does suck.  I found my current GF through Match.  I found that the structured communication of Eharmony stalled out completely when we were supposed to start having free conversations.  The women there also seemed more shallow, despite the site being marketed more towards serious relationships. "Sorry if this sounds shallow, but don't bother contacting me if you're shorter than 6'2".  My Mr. Right is tall."  I don't think I got a single date through eHarmony, just a lot of bullshiat.

Good luck, and I hope you at least have some dates you enjoy, even if some might only be in hindsight.  Like the redheaded neo-Nazi that didn't understand why we didn't test all of our new drugs on convicted felons.  "But if you wanted to test a cancer drug, wouldn't you have to give them cancer?" "Yep; who cares."


Well, on Eharmony, I at least got some bites. And I bought an annual scrip because it was cheaper.  I have had some dates, just nothing that's worked. Doesn't help that I put moderately not great photos of myself up and just put in the profile something to the effect of 'I'm in AA, so if that bothers you, feel free to move on'. I'd rather just get it out of the way first, so that anyone who is freaked out doesn't get invested.

On Match, I only ever got 2 replies/messages. Both were from girls who looked like the mom from honey boo boo.

Being a nerd/introvert/etc. I found the guided structure of Eharmony much easier to get into. Never dated much, and I have about as much 'game' as I do ability to speak ancient Latvian with my ass.
 
2013-11-24 09:37:24 PM  
I know what happens when my name is entered into a search engine. But, to be fair, decapitations are rather newsworthy.

/He came at me.
//Not even charged.
///One of those 'suicide by cop' things.
 
2013-11-24 09:50:35 PM  

johnperkins: There are 2,449 John Perkins in the United States ( http://howmanyofme.com/search/ ).  I occasionally get email for the author (  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Perkins_(author) ) because he has (first name)(last name) .org and I have .com.  On those rare occasions I forward the message to him.


Interesting...there are 38 people in the US with my name.  One's a cousin of mine.  I wonder who the other 36 are...
 
2013-11-24 11:02:47 PM  
I googled my name...nothing came up.
At all.
I felt so bad, but then suddenly Angelina Jolie came out of nowhere to tell me I'm special and showed me that I can bend bullets.
The most satisfying thing was hitting my 'best friend' with a keyboard for having sex with my girlfriend.
 
2013-11-24 11:23:02 PM  
I'd do a search on a possible future partner, and early enough to head off potential frustrations with the possibility of lost emotional investment.

Being the only one with my name, so far, in North America, makes it hard to hide.
Best defense is a good offense, so I also have the www.myname, and searches on my name will turn up a page with my site, and several authored items on hobby web-sites.
The website is linked by Yahoo, Google, etc, who seem happy to borrow my images under a number of topics.

Not into the social sites, so I guess another person could fake an entry in my name, but it would be difficult to displace my existing search results.

Bonus of having the website: the activity reports can give me a pretty good idea of the location of who's searching for me...
 
2013-11-24 11:26:43 PM  
I wrote a lot of technical articles in the past so that's what comes up when you google me.  At worst you'd conclude I'm extremely boring.
 
2013-11-25 12:01:36 AM  
If that guy is reading this and the biatch brings it up to your face, run away man. Just let her go. Not a keeper. You want a woman with an IQ above room temp.
 
2013-11-25 12:42:08 AM  

bemused outsider: Not into the social sites, so I guess another person could fake an entry in my name, but it would be difficult easy to displace my existing search results.


Now with a dose of reality. If all you have is a few hobbyist articles, chances are your site carries very little credibility with Google et al., and the only reason you're ranking well is that there are relatively few folks with your name.

Why do I say this? Because it's true. I work online for a popular website which is honed for SEO, I've authored or coauthored thousands of articles over the last decade and change, and my articles are linked to / cited as authoritative from across the web, including from some pretty major sites. They also appear in Google News, and every so often, I score a featured story for a particular topic. I've even been cited by Google on the very front page of News once or twice. And every article contains my name, with one rel=author link off my name per Google's recommendations.

What do you get if you search for my name, as written on all my articles, using an incognito window to avoid getting tailored results?

Not my site. Not even my Google Plus profile. The first hit is my Twitter page. LinkedIn, Facebook, and YouTube are all among the first results, as well. Bizarrely, even though Google knows who I am, my Plus page doesn't feature. Go figure.

With a small, personal site, you have essentially zero chance of beating the social giants in Google Rankings for your name, if somebody takes it. They have far, far better link juice than you will ever have, and if somebody makes and actually uses a profile with your name, they'll shoot to the top of the rankings for the term. That's just the way of the web these days.
 
2013-11-25 12:59:16 AM  

bostonguy: bostonguy: From the other side of the coin, things like this is why "online reputation management" is becoming the next big thing. Basically, if bad stuff comes up high in search results when people search for your name, there are things you can do to "push" that stuff down.

Basic: Create public, fully filled-out profiles on all social networks (Google+, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.) Buy a domain for your name (or as close as possible) and put up a basic site. Remember: You don't have to tell your phone number and SSN -- a lot of the information can be general and/or "not entirely accurate."

The way Google is going, a person's profiles and websites will usually take up the first page or two of search results, and other items will be pushed down. It's almost impossible to get third-party things removed from search results, but this is a good way to help.

/ No, I don't have anything to hide
// I work in online marketing

Oh, and if someone goes through dozens of pages of search results after meeting a date for the first or second time, that's just creepy.


Yeah, that's like, a lot of clicks.  It would be like, click, click, click, creepy.  So creepy to click that many times.  I get chill bumps.
 
2013-11-25 01:24:37 AM  

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Chuck Palahniuk's grandfather killed Chuck's grandmother.  If I had known that earlier, I never would have read that degenerate's novels.


heh.  "haunted" is (to date) the only book that has made me give up on the idea of dinner.  got to the restaurant, ordered, started reading, and by the time the waitress brought my food i was asking for a doggy bag.

/bonus creepy points though, as the screaming person on the cover glows in the dark.  :)

KawaiiNot: Mazzic518: KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.

You are still on my short list. *Kisses*

I don't know. You seem way too into WOW for me?

And no I'm not the creator of that web comic. I had my ID first. She copied me.


sometimes google-ing someone can be good.  i about shiat myself though when i found out that the woman responsible for the "mortal instruments" series was actually, in fact, the woman responsible for the very secret diaries of LOTR...  and other assorted things i may or may not have read involving draco malfoy.  :D

/still not king yet...
 
2013-11-25 03:12:38 AM  
Lol, googled a farking name and came up with a high profile issue.   biatch "family is complicated" means "you're just a booty call for now" not "family is a three ring fark job"
 
2013-11-25 06:14:27 AM  

mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.


I disagree. At this point having already run across the info, honesty is the best policy.

Not being honest would be far more manipulative.
 
2013-11-25 06:55:19 AM  

Telos: NoblePatrick: Just for shiggles, I recently did a GIS on a new (and attractive) co-worker.  Turns out she used to do modeling.  Lucky me!

[www.subesports.com image 300x448]

Perhaps you should provide a link to the search results...


For once, mobile delivers.

/Long press
//Search goggle for this image
///Wipe hands on pants.
 
2013-11-25 07:45:11 AM  
So fully public dara available by search engine is now "invading privacy"? Geez people take privacy way, way too seriously.
 
2013-11-25 08:02:37 AM  
"All those people Googling each other just gives me the willies..."

- Ned Flanders
 
2013-11-25 09:04:24 AM  

Bastard Toadflax: WTF is up with the reply: "Dear Dignissim"? The alleged letter-writer signed "Wish I Never Googled," which makes the pleasant little acronym "WING." "Dignissim" is "Missing D" backward.

The world confuses me.


Hax was subtly and sneakily twitting the writer. "Wish I Never Googled" is, in fact, missing a D. "Wish I'd Never Googled" is technically correct. Which, this being Fark, is the best kind of correct.
 
2013-11-25 10:02:16 AM  
I have one of those common, old-English trade surnames and my first name has become quite common. I don't have a middle name. Add to this the fact that I share that name (first and last) with a character on a stupid teenage show from a few years back, and my name doesn't  Google very well.
 
2013-11-25 12:01:20 PM  

techrat: Hax was subtly and sneakily twitting the writer. "Wish I Never Googled" is, in fact, missing a D. "Wish I'd Never Googled" is technically correct. Which, this being Fark, is the best kind of correct.


Know how I know you didn't reverse the name yourself?

/or read the very comment after the one to which you replied?
 
2013-11-25 02:23:02 PM  
Googling my name gets you a famous singer so take that all you would be murders, rapists, and candlestick makers...obscure I know.
 
2013-11-25 02:47:40 PM  

satanorsanta: Google is part of the reason that my wife still uses her maiden name.  Her first name plus my last name gives an eastern european porn star that is into anal fisting


Hotkinkyjoe?
 
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