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(Salt Lake Tribune)   Dear Carolyn: I have been on a few wonderful dates with this man. Out of curiosity, I Googled his name. Signed: "Wish I Never Googled"   (sltrib.com) divider line 179
    More: Obvious, Google, Carolyn Hax  
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36044 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2013 at 9:43 AM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-24 04:42:30 PM

Carousel Beast: I Google my name every now and then just to feel bad.


My name gives results for a former President of Mexico.  You have to click "next" a LOT of time to find the real me.  Occasionally I get emails in Spanish from some misguided soul who thinks they have found his private account.  On the other hand if I travel in Mexico I suppose I should expect the penthouse suite.
 
2013-11-24 04:53:53 PM
Also turns out he's the model for goatse, so there's that . . .
 
2013-11-24 05:48:47 PM

Empty H: dopekitty74: Googling my hyphenated married name gives my facebook profile, plus that of someone who shares my maiden name, whom i'm friends with on facebook because i googled my own name years ago and found her and started talking to her. We share a surprising amount of interests.

What is the purpose of hyphening your last name with another person? What happens when your hyphen kids want to hyphen their name with someone else? Why not just keep your name? If you really wanted to, you could give the sons the fathers last name and the daughters the mothers last name. The whole hyphen thing never seemed well thought out to me.


Well past the point of kids. I had my kids when i was younger, broke up with their dad in 2007, met and married hubby when i was in my mid thirties. I'd been myfirstname mylastname for so long, I didn't want to drop my maiden name completely, so I hyphenated. When I get divorced (this is a sure thing at this point, long story...) I can just drop his last name and go back to normal.
 
2013-11-24 06:06:21 PM

FuzedBox: I always hated my name, but at least google confuses me with doctors, politicians, people of entirely different races, people with good taste in music and in one case, a particularly famous actor who's last name is my middle name. Thank you google, for being so invasive that you obscure.


Same here . Lucky for me a well known former hockey player and a former state senator have surpassed my achievements so even the lawyers and business men who share my name are buried several pages deep in Google .
 
2013-11-24 06:28:20 PM
Pfftt, Google is so hit and miss and you have to have lots of info up front to make sure it's the right person. I like to show my target how much I care by logging into various public records databases before the first date. Criminal records, sex offender registry, property records, marriage/divorce, real age, ex spouses, children, etc...Then I plug the addresses into Google Maps (his and his ex's) and use the little yellow street view guy to zoom into the satellite picture and examine their house, yard, vehicles - a lot of streetview pics are very recent!

It's always so romantic when I can finish their sentences on the first date.

Him: I was driving to work the other day...Me: when you got your second DUI? I know, that totally must have sucked!

Him: My ex wife...Me: was a total coont who farked you over! I saw she kept the house (much nicer than this apartment, btw) but your child support payments aren't enough to disqualify you based on the income you'll available to spend on me :)

Him: Um, I'm not sure...Me: how long until your credit score improves past 550? Probably gonna be a while. Oh, and your kids hate you, according to their social media. LOL, kids these days, they just don't give a crap about privacy, do they.

I feel like I've known you forever! It's like we were meant to be together, I really understand you and I know you're going to fall madly in love with me. That's what your astrological sign says!
 
2013-11-24 06:57:27 PM
Google my name and you get hits on lots of obituaries.

/people I'm related to seem to die with regularity
//no, not from unnatural causes
///as far as you know
 
2013-11-24 07:49:58 PM
Uh, so my father shares the name of a guy who killed his wife, and lives in a similarly named town...enough that the two would be (and have been) very easily confused.

About two weeks ago, after three really good dates and an excited understanding that we'd keep seeing eachother, the girl I was seeing dropped off the face of the earth.

Oh, I also live in Salt Lake City...
 
2013-11-24 08:54:36 PM
was it this couple?

images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-11-24 09:08:39 PM

FriarReb98: Three Crooked Squirrels: I have a relatively uncommon name. The only person that appears to share it writes really lurid online novels/stories about gay sex. Lucky me.

I'm fairly certain my grandfather made up our family name when he enlisted in the Navy at age 17 (it was during WWII), and then made up a fake backstory about Ellis Island farking his family's very common name up.  It's nearly impossible to Google my family name and not find someone not related to me.


I don't see why it would have to be untrue.   I have a name in my family tree a few generations back that is the same; it is unique to this country and it only belongs to that part of my family.  Why?  When my ancestors got off the boat, their name on the ship's log was misread/mistranscribed.  Cursive handwriting happens.
 
2013-11-24 09:23:14 PM

born_yesterday: kroonermanblack: /eharmony sucks

Eharmony does suck.  I found my current GF through Match.  I found that the structured communication of Eharmony stalled out completely when we were supposed to start having free conversations.  The women there also seemed more shallow, despite the site being marketed more towards serious relationships. "Sorry if this sounds shallow, but don't bother contacting me if you're shorter than 6'2".  My Mr. Right is tall."  I don't think I got a single date through eHarmony, just a lot of bullshiat.

Good luck, and I hope you at least have some dates you enjoy, even if some might only be in hindsight.  Like the redheaded neo-Nazi that didn't understand why we didn't test all of our new drugs on convicted felons.  "But if you wanted to test a cancer drug, wouldn't you have to give them cancer?" "Yep; who cares."


Well, on Eharmony, I at least got some bites. And I bought an annual scrip because it was cheaper.  I have had some dates, just nothing that's worked. Doesn't help that I put moderately not great photos of myself up and just put in the profile something to the effect of 'I'm in AA, so if that bothers you, feel free to move on'. I'd rather just get it out of the way first, so that anyone who is freaked out doesn't get invested.

On Match, I only ever got 2 replies/messages. Both were from girls who looked like the mom from honey boo boo.

Being a nerd/introvert/etc. I found the guided structure of Eharmony much easier to get into. Never dated much, and I have about as much 'game' as I do ability to speak ancient Latvian with my ass.
 
2013-11-24 09:37:24 PM
I know what happens when my name is entered into a search engine. But, to be fair, decapitations are rather newsworthy.

/He came at me.
//Not even charged.
///One of those 'suicide by cop' things.
 
2013-11-24 09:50:35 PM

johnperkins: There are 2,449 John Perkins in the United States ( http://howmanyofme.com/search/ ).  I occasionally get email for the author (  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Perkins_(author) ) because he has (first name)(last name) .org and I have .com.  On those rare occasions I forward the message to him.


Interesting...there are 38 people in the US with my name.  One's a cousin of mine.  I wonder who the other 36 are...
 
2013-11-24 11:02:47 PM
I googled my name...nothing came up.
At all.
I felt so bad, but then suddenly Angelina Jolie came out of nowhere to tell me I'm special and showed me that I can bend bullets.
The most satisfying thing was hitting my 'best friend' with a keyboard for having sex with my girlfriend.
 
2013-11-24 11:23:02 PM
I'd do a search on a possible future partner, and early enough to head off potential frustrations with the possibility of lost emotional investment.

Being the only one with my name, so far, in North America, makes it hard to hide.
Best defense is a good offense, so I also have the www.myname, and searches on my name will turn up a page with my site, and several authored items on hobby web-sites.
The website is linked by Yahoo, Google, etc, who seem happy to borrow my images under a number of topics.

Not into the social sites, so I guess another person could fake an entry in my name, but it would be difficult to displace my existing search results.

Bonus of having the website: the activity reports can give me a pretty good idea of the location of who's searching for me...
 
2013-11-24 11:26:43 PM
I wrote a lot of technical articles in the past so that's what comes up when you google me.  At worst you'd conclude I'm extremely boring.
 
2013-11-25 12:01:36 AM
If that guy is reading this and the biatch brings it up to your face, run away man. Just let her go. Not a keeper. You want a woman with an IQ above room temp.
 
2013-11-25 12:42:08 AM

bemused outsider: Not into the social sites, so I guess another person could fake an entry in my name, but it would be difficult easy to displace my existing search results.


Now with a dose of reality. If all you have is a few hobbyist articles, chances are your site carries very little credibility with Google et al., and the only reason you're ranking well is that there are relatively few folks with your name.

Why do I say this? Because it's true. I work online for a popular website which is honed for SEO, I've authored or coauthored thousands of articles over the last decade and change, and my articles are linked to / cited as authoritative from across the web, including from some pretty major sites. They also appear in Google News, and every so often, I score a featured story for a particular topic. I've even been cited by Google on the very front page of News once or twice. And every article contains my name, with one rel=author link off my name per Google's recommendations.

What do you get if you search for my name, as written on all my articles, using an incognito window to avoid getting tailored results?

Not my site. Not even my Google Plus profile. The first hit is my Twitter page. LinkedIn, Facebook, and YouTube are all among the first results, as well. Bizarrely, even though Google knows who I am, my Plus page doesn't feature. Go figure.

With a small, personal site, you have essentially zero chance of beating the social giants in Google Rankings for your name, if somebody takes it. They have far, far better link juice than you will ever have, and if somebody makes and actually uses a profile with your name, they'll shoot to the top of the rankings for the term. That's just the way of the web these days.
 
2013-11-25 12:59:16 AM

bostonguy: bostonguy: From the other side of the coin, things like this is why "online reputation management" is becoming the next big thing. Basically, if bad stuff comes up high in search results when people search for your name, there are things you can do to "push" that stuff down.

Basic: Create public, fully filled-out profiles on all social networks (Google+, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.) Buy a domain for your name (or as close as possible) and put up a basic site. Remember: You don't have to tell your phone number and SSN -- a lot of the information can be general and/or "not entirely accurate."

The way Google is going, a person's profiles and websites will usually take up the first page or two of search results, and other items will be pushed down. It's almost impossible to get third-party things removed from search results, but this is a good way to help.

/ No, I don't have anything to hide
// I work in online marketing

Oh, and if someone goes through dozens of pages of search results after meeting a date for the first or second time, that's just creepy.


Yeah, that's like, a lot of clicks.  It would be like, click, click, click, creepy.  So creepy to click that many times.  I get chill bumps.
 
2013-11-25 01:24:37 AM

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Chuck Palahniuk's grandfather killed Chuck's grandmother.  If I had known that earlier, I never would have read that degenerate's novels.


heh.  "haunted" is (to date) the only book that has made me give up on the idea of dinner.  got to the restaurant, ordered, started reading, and by the time the waitress brought my food i was asking for a doggy bag.

/bonus creepy points though, as the screaming person on the cover glows in the dark.  :)

KawaiiNot: Mazzic518: KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.

You are still on my short list. *Kisses*

I don't know. You seem way too into WOW for me?

And no I'm not the creator of that web comic. I had my ID first. She copied me.


sometimes google-ing someone can be good.  i about shiat myself though when i found out that the woman responsible for the "mortal instruments" series was actually, in fact, the woman responsible for the very secret diaries of LOTR...  and other assorted things i may or may not have read involving draco malfoy.  :D

/still not king yet...
 
2013-11-25 03:12:38 AM
Lol, googled a farking name and came up with a high profile issue.   biatch "family is complicated" means "you're just a booty call for now" not "family is a three ring fark job"
 
2013-11-25 06:14:27 AM

mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.


I disagree. At this point having already run across the info, honesty is the best policy.

Not being honest would be far more manipulative.
 
2013-11-25 06:55:19 AM

Telos: NoblePatrick: Just for shiggles, I recently did a GIS on a new (and attractive) co-worker.  Turns out she used to do modeling.  Lucky me!

[www.subesports.com image 300x448]

Perhaps you should provide a link to the search results...


For once, mobile delivers.

/Long press
//Search goggle for this image
///Wipe hands on pants.
 
2013-11-25 07:45:11 AM
So fully public dara available by search engine is now "invading privacy"? Geez people take privacy way, way too seriously.
 
2013-11-25 08:02:37 AM
"All those people Googling each other just gives me the willies..."

- Ned Flanders
 
2013-11-25 09:04:24 AM

Bastard Toadflax: WTF is up with the reply: "Dear Dignissim"? The alleged letter-writer signed "Wish I Never Googled," which makes the pleasant little acronym "WING." "Dignissim" is "Missing D" backward.

The world confuses me.


Hax was subtly and sneakily twitting the writer. "Wish I Never Googled" is, in fact, missing a D. "Wish I'd Never Googled" is technically correct. Which, this being Fark, is the best kind of correct.
 
2013-11-25 10:02:16 AM
I have one of those common, old-English trade surnames and my first name has become quite common. I don't have a middle name. Add to this the fact that I share that name (first and last) with a character on a stupid teenage show from a few years back, and my name doesn't  Google very well.
 
2013-11-25 12:01:20 PM

techrat: Hax was subtly and sneakily twitting the writer. "Wish I Never Googled" is, in fact, missing a D. "Wish I'd Never Googled" is technically correct. Which, this being Fark, is the best kind of correct.


Know how I know you didn't reverse the name yourself?

/or read the very comment after the one to which you replied?
 
2013-11-25 02:23:02 PM
Googling my name gets you a famous singer so take that all you would be murders, rapists, and candlestick makers...obscure I know.
 
2013-11-25 02:47:40 PM

satanorsanta: Google is part of the reason that my wife still uses her maiden name.  Her first name plus my last name gives an eastern european porn star that is into anal fisting


Hotkinkyjoe?
 
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