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(Salt Lake Tribune)   Dear Carolyn: I have been on a few wonderful dates with this man. Out of curiosity, I Googled his name. Signed: "Wish I Never Googled"   (sltrib.com) divider line 179
    More: Obvious, Google, Carolyn Hax  
•       •       •

36046 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2013 at 9:43 AM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



179 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-24 12:16:20 PM

WordyGrrl: Lame. Bring back Prudie! Her fake, made up letters are far more entertaining.

/Glad to have a common name
//Bonus: nobody with my name appears to have a criminal record
//Double bonus: They all appear to be executives and successful business people.


I Google my name every now and then just to feel bad. I am very successful in my field, but in the first 10 pages of Google you'll find nearly two dozen others of the same name in the top 1% of their field - concert musicians, neurosurgeons, scientists. The results are chock full of national news articles, personality spotlights, and journals with their accomplishments. I usually get a mention in there just because I have a profile on LinkedIn and they pay Google to be in the top results.

On the up side, there are no messy legal or moral results.
 
2013-11-24 12:19:06 PM
duhmeme.httpeq2gucom.netdna-cdn.com
 
2013-11-24 12:26:23 PM

zamboni: Look on the bright side! You don't have to worry about getting along with your mother-in-law.


static3.fjcdn.com
 
2013-11-24 12:31:29 PM

zamboni: Look on the bright side! You don't have to worry about getting along with your mother-in-law.


That is, indeed, the smartest comment ever.
 
2013-11-24 12:32:01 PM

Mr_Fabulous: I did a GIS for my name. Now I wish I hadn't.

I'm someone who likes to take pictures, mostly travel-related stuff. Most people who know me know that about me. But apparently there's a pro photographer with my name...and he's got some disturbingly abusive bukkake-type shiat in his portfolio.

I wonder if anyone thinks that stuff is mine.


If you want to increase the changes that your photos will appear in GIS for your name, use these HTML tags when you upload (the code is an example):

<a href="http://www.mrfabulous.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/mr-fabulou s-flowers.png"><img class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-387" alt="mr-fabulous-flowers" src="http://www.mrfabulous.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/mr-fabulous -flowers" width="550" height="235" /></a>

Say you take and upload a picture of flowers. In the blog items above:

1. and 3.) Save the file as firstname-lastname-flowers.png (or whatever format)
2. Use firstname-lastname-flowers as the alt tag (the text that appears instead of the image when a blind person surfs the Internet -- it's a ranking factor)

a href = the link to which the person is taken when clicking on the photo
a src = the location of the image on your server

Be sure to use hyphens and not underscores in these items.

If you need any clarifications, reply and I'll see it. Good luck!

/ SEO guy, among other things
 
2013-11-24 12:37:05 PM
Heh. Googling my name showed me there was a character in a Noel Coward play.
 
2013-11-24 12:38:47 PM
Thankfully, I share names with an NHL player. Any googling of me turns up a half-dozen pages of entries on him before I pop up.
 
2013-11-24 12:39:03 PM
Interesting. Hadn't Googled myself in ages.  If I use my full name (Michael), I get a 411 listing, a link to Google+ (that I don't use), and a link to the Class of '86 for Richmond High. It would be a correct link if I lived in Richmond, Virginia; but, I went to Richmond, BC Canada.
  If I use (Mike). I get the 411, and Google+, no school, but, a list to the FidoNet Resources. In the BBS days, I was the hub for SW Canada. Forgot about that.

/CSB
 
2013-11-24 12:41:56 PM

Mr_Fabulous: I did a GIS for my name. Now I wish I hadn't.

I'm someone who likes to take pictures, mostly travel-related stuff. Most people who know me know that about me. But apparently there's a pro photographer with my name...and he's got some disturbingly abusive bukkake-type shiat in his portfolio.

I wonder if anyone thinks that stuff is mine.


While I'm also thinking about it. If you're a serious pro:

1. Create a website (preferably with your real name) such as www.mrfabulousphotography.com
2. Create a Google+ account for you (as a person with your real name) and a Google+ page (for the business website)
3. Connect the two Google+ profiles to your website

If you Google on how to use these things, you'll find some easy guides. It's not too hard -- just need very basic web-fu. This -- along with the tagging I mentioned above -- will help a lot to show your pictures for searches for your name rather than that other guy.
 
2013-11-24 12:43:34 PM
Diogenes: Mystery vs. History.
 
"Haaave you met Ted...Bundy?"

[img5.imageshack.us image 500x281]



http://tedmosebyisajerk.com
http://tedmosebyisnotajerk.com
 
2013-11-24 12:44:49 PM

Mr_Fabulous: I did a GIS for my name. Now I wish I hadn't.

I'm someone who likes to take pictures, mostly travel-related stuff. Most people who know me know that about me. But apparently there's a pro photographer with my name...and he's got some disturbingly abusive bukkake-type shiat in his portfolio.

I wonder if anyone thinks that stuff is mine.


Oh, and try to get as many people to "+1" (Google's version of "like") your Google+ business page, the website as a whole and individual pages / pictures on the site. Add +1 buttons, etc.
 
2013-11-24 12:52:11 PM

kroonermanblack: //I'm a 5'10" fat guy looking for a relationship with someone who doesn't bore me to shiat and doesn't make me go 'good god no' when I look at her


Everybody get a load of Mister High Standards here.
 
2013-11-24 12:53:42 PM
I have a once-pro football player with my name, and he's got the top few pages covered, with me, the lawyer, the city planner and the real-estate agent coming in results here and there. I'm always surprised how common my name is; there are several others in my county.
 
2013-11-24 12:59:37 PM

Robert1966: I can understand someone hating to read Aristotle, but I don't see how you can think he was brainless.


He was so spectacularly wrong about such simple things. For instance: he thought people have 36 teeth. For a guy credited with inventing science, he sure was a shiatty scientist.
 
2013-11-24 01:03:59 PM

keylock71: I have a fairly common name... First name was one of the most popular names in the 60s/70s and my last name is a very common Irish surname (over five pages of them in the Dublin phone directory alone).

According to Google, seems like a lot of lawyers and doctors with a singer-songwriter and Australian football star mixed in there.

There's a guy in my hometown with the same name as me (different middle names) who was very well-known to the local cops as a thief and drug abuser... Never really interfered with my life at all, thankfully. Though, I was at the emergency room a few years back and I heard a nurse say to a doctor, "No, not that (my name)".


I work with a woman with the same name as the town floozy. We call her "not that" Jenny.
 
2013-11-24 01:04:47 PM

Fark_Guy_Rob: I know it sucks if you aren't 6'2" (I'm not even close) but I'd MUCH rather a girl just come out and say it.  No sense wasting each others time if someone has a strict rule about something.


Maybe the chick is really tall. I'm only 5'2" and while I wouldn't rule someone out for looks, I do know that sex can be awkward as hell with very tall people, for me, at least, and I am pretty flexible dude to dancing and yoga.  Things just don't line up right. I'd prefer a guy 5'7" or under to someone 6'2".

If she is, say, a 6' woman, she might feel weird or uncomfortable with a man who is shorter than she is, maybe she's self-conscious about being particularly tall.
 
2013-11-24 01:07:01 PM
... I meant to say I am flexible DUE to dancing and yoga.  Christ, that made that sentence really gay and awkward, especially since people on here think I'm a guy half the time....  Jeez.
 
2013-11-24 01:08:57 PM
I don't have a very common name; there are maybe a dozen of us in the U.S., but two of us dominate the initial Google search results. You don't need to know much about me to figure out that I'm not the dancer with this name.

Back in the day, I worked for someone of Italian descent from New Jersey. We had gotten an inquiry from a potential client that was recommended to us. The initial conversation went well, but then they didn't get back to us for a while after. Turns out they had Googled my boss, and his name popped up in a NY Daily News article about a mob guy who had been indicted for murder in Brooklyn, so they were kind of nervous about pursuing a business relationship. They were pretty happy to hear that the guy in the paper was no relation. (Although, one of the boss's cousins *was* married into one of the local crime families...)
 
2013-11-24 01:09:38 PM

KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.


Googling is not the problem.  You have missed the point entirely.

The problem lies in telling the guy "I know your dad murdered your mom, it's difficult to talk about, and you don't want to talk about it now... but when you do, I'll be ready.  Are you ready now?  No?  How about now?"

Common sense says sure, google the person.  But when they've already indicated that they need time before they raise a difficult subject, you wait until they are ready to raise it.  You don't pre-empt them like a rabid journalist after the latest Rob Ford revelation.  Doing it to a casual date puts a big screaming "I have no patience and no respect for your feelings" sign on your back.
 
2013-11-24 01:09:58 PM
Googling my hyphenated married name gives my facebook profile, plus that of someone who shares my maiden name, whom i'm friends with on facebook because i googled my own name years ago and found her and started talking to her. We share a surprising amount of interests.
 
2013-11-24 01:14:59 PM

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Chuck Palahniuk's grandfather killed Chuck's grandmother.  If I had known that earlier, I never would have read that degenerate's novels.


Novels? So, you liked the first one at least. I enjoyed Haunted and Pygmy myself. Reading Rant now. Chuck isn't for the squeamish.
 
2013-11-24 01:16:06 PM
I once found out a guy with my name was on trial for diddling kids. Scary, but luckily our middle names weren't the same, he looks nothing me, and lives in a state I've never been to.
 
2013-11-24 01:19:31 PM

Thurston Howell: Googling is not the problem.  You have missed the point entirely.

The problem lies in telling the guy "I know your dad murdered your mom, it's difficult to talk about, and you don't want to talk about it now... but when you do, I'll be ready.  Are you ready now?  No?  How about now?"

Common sense says sure, google the person.  But when they've already indicated that they need time before they raise a difficult subject, you wait until they are ready to raise it.  You don't pre-empt them like a rabid journalist after the latest Rob Ford revelation.  Doing it to a casual date puts a big screaming "I have no patience and no respect for your feelings" sign on your back.


EXACTLY.  So you Googled. Big deal. We have all Googled people (you're lying if you say you never have) and we have Googled ourselves.  She found something horrible. So she freaking BROUGHT IT UP? Seriously? She has no couth and no common sense.  Shockingly, most people try not to talk about their life horrors and traumas early in a relationship. For many reasons. Such as the fact that it is hard to talk about. Or not something they talk about easily. Or not something they want everyone to know about because it was in the past and they moved away and people don't look at them and think of them as "that person that horrible thing happened to" (in this case, "the poor kid who's father killed his mother.")  OR they just don't want to scare people away, as that kind of thing is a pretty huge revelation.

I am honestly glad I am dating one of my best friends. It really, really took a lot of this crazy bullshiat out of the equation because we know so much about each other and kind of... already know the good and the bad and how deep the muck can get, if that makes sense.
 
2013-11-24 01:19:48 PM

keylock71: I have a fairly common name... First name was one of the most popular names in the 60s/70s and my last name is a very common Irish surname (over five pages of them in the Dublin phone directory alone).

According to Google, seems like a lot of lawyers and doctors with a singer-songwriter and Australian football star mixed in there.

There's a guy in my hometown with the same name as me (different middle names) who was very well-known to the local cops as a thief and drug abuser... Never really interfered with my life at all, thankfully. Though, I was at the emergency room a few years back and I heard a nurse say to a doctor, "No, not that (my name)".


Steve O'Donnell? David Farity?
 
2013-11-24 01:22:28 PM

Shadowtag: I once found out a guy with my name was on trial for diddling kids. Scary, but luckily our middle names weren't the same, he looks nothing me, and lives in a state I've never been to.


That's actually why they tend to identify criminals by their full names. To avoid things like John James Smith the child molester wrecking the life of John Aaron Smith, successful surgeon and local hero, who saved an old lady from a burning building.
 
2013-11-24 01:37:17 PM

KawaiiNot: Mazzic518: KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.

You are still on my short list. *Kisses*

I don't know. You seem way too into WOW for me?

And no I'm not the creator of that web comic. I had my ID first. She copied me.


:( I haven't even played today.
 
2013-11-24 01:50:17 PM
Joel Rifkin
 
2013-11-24 02:01:44 PM
I have a not-too-common name, and am a transsexual. The two top hits on Google are me, and someone who is an evangelical christian singer.

I wonder which of us has it worse? ;-)
 
2013-11-24 02:15:41 PM
Well, women who google me always end up disappointed to learn I'm not really a professional surfer.  Hits for a pro surfer is what shows up first when you google my name.
 
2013-11-24 02:27:52 PM
Dear Varmitydog • I met this guy in a different city and we had a few great dates. One night I was casually Googling his name. Very innocently - I swear - I just thought I could see his work projects or something like that. But I came across an article about the trial of his father for murdering his mother. I am absolutely sure it is him. I feel like I invaded his privacy, and now he doesn't have a chance to tell me on his own time. But I also feel a little scared. He mentioned very briefly that he had a difficult family that he wasn't ready to talk me about yet, but I wasn't picturing anything close to this. We are so casual at this point, but I don't think I want to stop talking to him just because of the sins of his father. But I am a little scared. How do I bring this up?

Wish I Never Googled


Dear Wish: This is what you do. You go on and have sex with him, and right before he climaxes, say to him: "Soooooo, your daddy killed your ma, huh?" If he can finish, he's a keeper.
 
2013-11-24 02:31:57 PM

bostonguy: Mr_Fabulous: I did a GIS for my name. Now I wish I hadn't.

I'm someone who likes to take pictures, mostly travel-related stuff. Most people who know me know that about me. But apparently there's a pro photographer with my name...and he's got some disturbingly abusive bukkake-type shiat in his portfolio.

I wonder if anyone thinks that stuff is mine.

While I'm also thinking about it. If you're a serious pro:

1. Create a website (preferably with your real name) such as www.mrfabulousphotography.com
2. Create a Google+ account for you (as a person with your real name) and a Google+ page (for the business website)
3. Connect the two Google+ profiles to your website

If you Google on how to use these things, you'll find some easy guides. It's not too hard -- just need very basic web-fu. This -- along with the tagging I mentioned above -- will help a lot to show your pictures for searches for your name rather than that other guy.


Thanks, man...I appreciate the knowledgeable advice. But I'm neither that serious, nor that good in all honesty.  If you'd like to see my (and Mrs fab's) travel pics, we have been to some cool places actually... We're here:

onelittleworld.zenfolio.com
 
2013-11-24 02:32:53 PM

Three Crooked Squirrels: I have a relatively uncommon name. The only person that appears to share it writes really lurid online novels/stories about gay sex. Lucky me.


Ben Dover, is that you?
 
2013-11-24 02:35:20 PM

Telos: WordyGrrl: Lame. Bring back Prudie! Her fake, made up letters are far more entertaining.

/Glad to have a common name
//Bonus: nobody with my name appears to have a criminal record
//Double bonus: They all appear to be executives and successful business people.

Two people share my name, one is a boxer while another is a priest.

Not sure if that's good or bad, honestly...


A quick Google shows several stories of priests who were also boxers, so that may good. "Hey, this guy's got to be interesting at a cocktail party. Let's hire him!"
 
2013-11-24 02:37:16 PM

Carousel Beast: WordyGrrl: Lame. Bring back Prudie! Her fake, made up letters are far more entertaining.

/Glad to have a common name
//Bonus: nobody with my name appears to have a criminal record
//Double bonus: They all appear to be executives and successful business people.

I Google my name every now and then just to feel bad. I am very successful in my field, but in the first 10 pages of Google you'll find nearly two dozen others of the same name in the top 1% of their field - concert musicians, neurosurgeons, scientists. The results are chock full of national news articles, personality spotlights, and journals with their accomplishments. I usually get a mention in there just because I have a profile on LinkedIn and they pay Google to be in the top results.

On the up side, there are no messy legal or moral results.


And that is what it's all about, really. You are in the clear!
 
2013-11-24 02:45:41 PM

MFAWG: FarkingReading: MFAWG: Just so I have this straight: He already told her there were problems involving his family that he didn't want to talk to her about yet, but she's not really going to wait for him to tell her before she freaks out?

RUN away, dude. She';s going through your cell phone every time you go to the can right now.

You're not making much sense. Everyone takes their phones to the can these days. All of these comments except yours were made by people who were pooping at the time.

HA! Friday I'm using the facilities and a dude is on the phone next to me. I made sure to aim for the water and flush 2 or 3 times...


Hah - I always really want to make loud fart noises by blowing into my elbow or hands when someone is on the phone in the bathroom
 
2013-11-24 02:55:53 PM

dopekitty74: Googling my hyphenated married name gives my facebook profile, plus that of someone who shares my maiden name, whom i'm friends with on facebook because i googled my own name years ago and found her and started talking to her. We share a surprising amount of interests.


What is the purpose of hyphening your last name with another person? What happens when your hyphen kids want to hyphen their name with someone else? Why not just keep your name? If you really wanted to, you could give the sons the fathers last name and the daughters the mothers last name. The whole hyphen thing never seemed well thought out to me.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-11-24 02:58:03 PM
gwenners: I have a not-too-common name, and am a transsexual. The two top hits on Google are me, and someone who is an evangelical christian singer. I wonder which of us has it worse? ;-)

You could be an extra verse to Tom Petty's "Yer So Bad," which begins

My sister got lucky, married a yuppie
Took him for all he was worth
Now she's a swinger dating a singer
I can't decide which is worse
 
2013-11-24 02:58:56 PM
Just popped in here to say I love Carolyn Hax.  She's the most levelheaded advice columnist ever.  She gives actual useful advice.
 
2013-11-24 03:05:09 PM
Happened to my (ex)wife's parents.  Her father killed her mother and himself.  Her mother was incurably ill and her father couldn't bear the thought of living without her.
 
2013-11-24 03:05:18 PM
I couldn't find anything about me in the "First Last" results.  Tons of different people, though there were multiple results each for football, baseball, wrestling (particularly images), and a fictional secret agent.

"First Middle Last" returned only 15 results; 7 of those actually referred to me, but only as one name among many on the same university honors list.  Meh.
 
2013-11-24 03:22:41 PM

kroonermanblack: KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.

I don't.

Only reason I've googled someone was to see what she looked like after meeting online.

/eharmony sucks
//Interet makes every add +5 points to their score
///No, I'm not a farking ripped 6'2", 10" cock, multimillionare
//I'm a 5'10" fat guy looking for a relationship with someone who doesn't bore me to shiat and doesn't make me go 'good god no' when I look at her


All you really need is a 10" cock and the rest of it either doesn't matter, or it's gravy.

/yes, size matters, just like boobies
 
2013-11-24 03:32:57 PM
CSB:

My husband is a PGA swing coach. Google his name, and of course this comes up. What's creepy is there's a guy in Canada who is a CPGA pro, same name. If I need to ask him to do something he doesn't want to do, I'd jokingly ask if I'd have to go ask the Canadian version of him instead.
 
2013-11-24 03:35:02 PM

dok9874: All you really need is a 10" cock and the rest of it either doesn't matter, or it's gravy


Tried that, didn't work so well, the little bastard kept pecking at us all through the date....
 
2013-11-24 03:40:40 PM

born_yesterday: kroonermanblack: /eharmony sucks

Eharmony does suck.  I found my current GF through Match.  I found that the structured communication of Eharmony stalled out completely when we were supposed to start having free conversations.  The women there also seemed more shallow, despite the site being marketed more towards serious relationships. "Sorry if this sounds shallow, but don't bother contacting me if you're shorter than 6'2".  My Mr. Right is tall."  I don't think I got a single date through eHarmony, just a lot of bullshiat.

Good luck, and I hope you at least have some dates you enjoy, even if some might only be in hindsight.  Like the redheaded neo-Nazi that didn't understand why we didn't test all of our new drugs on convicted felons.  "But if you wanted to test a cancer drug, wouldn't you have to give them cancer?" "Yep; who cares."




Women on eHarmoney seem to be big fans of romance novels.
 
2013-11-24 03:42:59 PM
Just for shiggles, I recently did a GIS on a new (and attractive) co-worker.  Turns out she used to do modeling.  Lucky me!

www.subesports.com
 
2013-11-24 03:47:38 PM

NoblePatrick: Just for shiggles, I recently did a GIS on a new (and attractive) co-worker.  Turns out she used to do modeling.  Lucky me!

[www.subesports.com image 300x448]


Perhaps you should provide a link to the search results...
 
2013-11-24 04:01:03 PM

gaslight: >But I came across an article about the trial of his father for murdering his mother.

Well, not every family gets along.


I could see freaking out if he were accused of killing one or the other of his parents, but it's not like this guy asked to have a murdering father.  So me think the AW is over-reacting just a bit.  It's not as though there is some sort of third date rule where you have to spill all of your family secrets to someone.  What was he supposed to do, say, "Hi, my name is John Smith and I'm bummed right now about my family 'cause my dad is accused of killing my mom?"  Then the chick would be biatching cause his opening line sucked!
 
2013-11-24 04:12:06 PM
I always hated my name, but at least google confuses me with doctors, politicians, people of entirely different races, people with good taste in music and in one case, a particularly famous actor who's last name is my middle name. Thank you google, for being so invasive that you obscure.
 
2013-11-24 04:13:08 PM
This is why I had my name legally changed to Midget Boner.
 
2013-11-24 04:19:16 PM

serpent_sky: ... I meant to say I am flexible DUE to dancing and yoga.  Christ, that made that sentence really gay and awkward, especially since people on here think I'm a guy half the time....  Jeez.


LULZ
 
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