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(Salt Lake Tribune)   Dear Carolyn: I have been on a few wonderful dates with this man. Out of curiosity, I Googled his name. Signed: "Wish I Never Googled"   (sltrib.com) divider line 179
    More: Obvious, Google, Carolyn Hax  
•       •       •

36062 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2013 at 9:43 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



179 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-24 10:45:45 AM  

CreamFilling: This is why I always pre-Google the fake names I give women.


News Letter? I like your strategerizing.
 
2013-11-24 10:48:00 AM  
I have a fairly common name... First name was one of the most popular names in the 60s/70s and my last name is a very common Irish surname (over five pages of them in the Dublin phone directory alone).

According to Google, seems like a lot of lawyers and doctors with a singer-songwriter and Australian football star mixed in there.

There's a guy in my hometown with the same name as me (different middle names) who was very well-known to the local cops as a thief and drug abuser... Never really interfered with my life at all, thankfully. Though, I was at the emergency room a few years back and I heard a nurse say to a doctor, "No, not that (my name)".
 
2013-11-24 10:49:24 AM  

kroonermanblack: I'm a 5'10" fat guy looking for a relationship with someone who doesn't bore me to shiat and doesn't make me go 'good god no' when I look at her


Lotta sharp knees out there, amirite?

i2.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-24 10:50:40 AM  

logophile: if anyone googles me they'd get a really cheesy article or two i wrote for the neighborhood rag in 04? co-authorship in a couple uninspiring psych and neuroscience articles, and ... that's it.   the psychotic ex thing was good for a couple things, and apparently learning how to go to ground successfully was one :D


I hear ya. Same reason I'm pretty hard to find on the interwebs.

.....Nope, I can't find me at ALL. The first 15+ pages of Google are all about the singer with the same name.
 
2013-11-24 10:54:58 AM  

born_yesterday: kroonermanblack: /eharmony sucks

Eharmony does suck.  I found my current GF through Match.  I found that the structured communication of Eharmony stalled out completely when we were supposed to start having free conversations.  The women there also seemed more shallow, despite the site being marketed more towards serious relationships. "Sorry if this sounds shallow, but don't bother contacting me if you're shorter than 6'2".  My Mr. Right is tall."  I don't think I got a single date through eHarmony, just a lot of bullshiat.

Good luck, and I hope you at least have some dates you enjoy, even if some might only be in hindsight.  Like the redheaded neo-Nazi that didn't understand why we didn't test all of our new drugs on convicted felons.  "But if you wanted to test a cancer drug, wouldn't you have to give them cancer?" "Yep; who cares."


In other news, shiat-tons of women have a princess complex. Details at 11.
 
2013-11-24 10:54:59 AM  

strapp3r: phenn: Years ago, my sister googled her name. She came across an article about a woman (of the same name) married to a woman (with my name) who was murdered by the other one.

Still creeps me out a bit.

[i46.photobucket.com image 400x181]


HAWT
 
2013-11-24 10:55:03 AM  

cryinoutloud: logophile: if anyone googles me they'd get a really cheesy article or two i wrote for the neighborhood rag in 04? co-authorship in a couple uninspiring psych and neuroscience articles, and ... that's it.   the psychotic ex thing was good for a couple things, and apparently learning how to go to ground successfully was one :D

I hear ya. Same reason I'm pretty hard to find on the interwebs.

.....Nope, I can't find me at ALL. The first 15+ pages of Google are all about the singer with the same name.


I have a common name as well. Even putting in specific info about myself, I don't show up on google.

/eight different wikipedia pages alone for my name.
 
2013-11-24 10:55:25 AM  
Dear Dumb Twat:

This is what you get for checking out on your ownwhat he trusted you to find out in due course. This being Fark, I expected him to be running a pedophile heroin ring. On the plus side, he wasn't involved in a murder, his parents are. But apparently females in his life putting their noses where it doesn't belong is a generational thing. Have fun sleeping over at the murder house.

Smooches,
Prudie
 
2013-11-24 10:56:39 AM  
I just googled my name.  There's apparently a few of us, including one from my hometown of Pittsburgh, which sucks, as I wanted to be the only one!!!!    Happy to see that I actually don't show up.  lol
 
2013-11-24 10:58:10 AM  
There are 2,449 John Perkins in the United States ( http://howmanyofme.com/search/ ).  I occasionally get email for the author (  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Perkins_(author) ) because he has (first name)(last name) .org and I have .com.  On those rare occasions I forward the message to him.
 
2013-11-24 10:59:51 AM  

Pribar: Have a first name that was more common in the 19th century and a fairly common last name, the only Google hits for me are from a background check agency and a couple from genealogy websites listing me as dying in 1866.


My name isn't incredibly uncommon, but there's a semi-prominent lobbyist who shares my name, home state, and even my high school.  Any attempt to google me winds up with about 20+ pages of this guy instead.  It's surprisingly effective at keeping my identity obscured on the interwebs, at least to casual googlers.

Another random perk relating to this: I occasionally get random perks and swag from poorly informed companies that don't have the lobbyist's home address.  I once got an In N' Out coupon from a car dealership after Mr. Lobbyist did a test-drive, for example.  Nothing makes an already-good burger taste amazing like not having to pay for it.
 
2013-11-24 11:00:01 AM  
The trick here is to share a name with a Slasher movie villain.
 
2013-11-24 11:00:35 AM  
sidhe.webs.com

I know how this fairy tale relationship ends: with you getting blood  that doesn't wash off your hands when you are entrusted with the key to the cellar. Run now, or clam yo tits.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-11-24 11:00:49 AM  
Dear Googler,

Kill yourself and leave a note blaming his parents.

Love,

The Internet
 
2013-11-24 11:01:35 AM  
This is a new reality. People will look up your info online ... or whatever appears to be your info.

Prospective employers certainly do. And their "background search" tools are a lot more invasive of your privacy than The Google.

money.cnn.com
 
2013-11-24 11:03:13 AM  

logophile: .[upload.wikimedia.org image 340x599]

sometimes wish there had been innocence at the bottom, instead of hope.


Here's what never made sense to me about the Pandora myth:


She releases all kinds of evil and suffering intothe world, and keeps hope locked up in the box.


How does keeping hope locked up counter the evil that was unleashed? Shouldn't she have, I don't know... RELEASED HOPE AS WELL?


Farkin' Greeks were way over-rated. Aristotle didn't have the brains Zeus gave a swan.
 
2013-11-24 11:03:41 AM  
My name is so common, there was a guy in the next city over, when I was growing up, with the same exact first, middle, and last names.
It's the best anonymity.
 
2013-11-24 11:08:20 AM  
Chuck Palahniuk's grandfather killed Chuck's grandmother.  If I had known that earlier, I never would have read that degenerate's novels.
 
2013-11-24 11:08:50 AM  
Oddly enough my name seems to be unique. When I search for myself, I get nothing but my facebook page, patents, public list posts, etc. Honestly I think you are better having a common name.
 
2013-11-24 11:09:06 AM  
Google is part of the reason that my wife still uses her maiden name.  Her first name plus my last name gives an eastern european porn star that is into anal fisting
 
2013-11-24 11:10:08 AM  

whither_apophis: I have a common name as well. Even putting in specific info about myself, I don't show up on google.
/eight different wikipedia pages alone for my name.


My name isn't common (4 in the U.S), I"m just lucky that I share it with someone famous.

You know, if you google your name along with "white pages" they have you. In a lot of those pages. Your name, address, previous addresses, map to your house, and people you might be connected to. You can get your entry deleted, but they pop up somewhere else as fast as unwanted phone books.
 
2013-11-24 11:11:44 AM  

StopLurkListen: This is a new reality. People will look up your info online ... or whatever appears to be your info.

Prospective employers certainly do. And their "background search" tools are a lot more invasive of your privacy than The Google.

[money.cnn.com image 270x220]


Man, drug screening should be illegal.  I can understand verifying employment history, education history and your references, but drug screening tends to only affect potheads, as pot is what stays in your system the longest.
 
2013-11-24 11:11:57 AM  

Mazzic518: KawaiiNot: mike_d85: Wow, sounds like the woman's field guide to manipulation. "I know your secret. You don't have to talk about it, but I know the major issue you've been avoiding discussing."

Don't worry, he'll open up...

/The door to leave.

Oh please, everyone googles people these days. In a society where we are dating people who we often aren't able to ask our friends and relatives if they are good people, it simply makes logical sense. People who don't are stupid and risking physical or emotional danger or harm that a google search might have helped prevent.

So if that is your definition of datable, enjoy the weak, dumb, drama-drawing women that will be all that is left in your dating pool.

You are still on my short list. *Kisses*


I don't know. You seem way too into WOW for me?

And no I'm not the creator of that web comic. I had my ID first. She copied me.
 
2013-11-24 11:14:48 AM  

bostonguy: From the other side of the coin, things like this is why "online reputation management" is becoming the next big thing. Basically, if bad stuff comes up high in search results when people search for your name, there are things you can do to "push" that stuff down.

Basic: Create public, fully filled-out profiles on all social networks (Google+, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.) Buy a domain for your name (or as close as possible) and put up a basic site. Remember: You don't have to tell your phone number and SSN -- a lot of the information can be general and/or "not entirely accurate."

The way Google is going, a person's profiles and websites will usually take up the first page or two of search results, and other items will be pushed down. It's almost impossible to get third-party things removed from search results, but this is a good way to help.

/ No, I don't have anything to hide
// I work in online marketing


I get googled a lot for business.

I had to make a twitter account because a guy in my town with the same name had one full of tea party BS and pyramid scheme promotions. Ugh
 
2013-11-24 11:22:04 AM  
kroonermanblack:
Only reason I've googled someone was to see what she looked like after meeting online.

I googled my name, clicked 'images' and scrolled through pages of ONLY knock-dead beautiful women: movie stars, medical doctors, professors, artists, local high-achievers (also hot), older attractive women, pretty faces (in b&w) from history, and one photo of geek me in street clothes, mid-surprise face (ahyuk!) accepting a raffle prize.

Kinda glad I'm not dating now...
 
2013-11-24 11:26:53 AM  
If anyone googled my real name, they'd find everyone in the world who shares my name, but they wouldn't find me.
 
2013-11-24 11:29:51 AM  
The man I'm stalking has a semi-common name, no land line and no Facebook account. I'm so frustrated.
 
2013-11-24 11:30:25 AM  
There's a guy with my name who keeps giving it out to his friends.  About once a month I get a random email from one of his friends and I've taken to finding creative ways to reply to them.  Last February his fiance sent me a Valentine's Day eCard (made in Powerpoint WTF).  I thought that was a pretty sweethearted move of her.
 
2013-11-24 11:30:46 AM  
Bastard Toadflax:

Farkin' Greeks were way over-rated. Aristotle didn't have the brains Zeus gave a swan.


if Zeus was giving that swan brains, the gods' anatomies are *way* different than ours. D;
 
2013-11-24 11:31:03 AM  

Bastard Toadflax: logophile: .[upload.wikimedia.org image 340x599]

sometimes wish there had been innocence at the bottom, instead of hope.

Here's what never made sense to me about the Pandora myth:


She releases all kinds of evil and suffering intothe world, and keeps hope locked up in the box.


How does keeping hope locked up counter the evil that was unleashed? Shouldn't she have, I don't know... RELEASED HOPE AS WELL?


Farkin' Greeks were way over-rated. Aristotle didn't have the brains Zeus gave a swan.


No, dude. Hope (actually "expectation" - either good (hope) or bad (dread)) is the only thing in our control still.
 
2013-11-24 11:34:07 AM  

Diogenes: Mystery vs. History.

"Haaave you met Ted...Bundy?"

[img5.imageshack.us image 500x281]


Too much time in the tanning bed, Ms. Remini.
 
2013-11-24 11:35:08 AM  
 
2013-11-24 11:36:04 AM  

logophile: .[upload.wikimedia.org image 340x599]

sometimes wish there had been innocence at the bottom, instead of hope.


Is it bad that I read that as "cervix"?

Yeah, it's probably bad.
 
2013-11-24 11:38:28 AM  

cryinoutloud: logophile: if anyone googles me they'd get a really cheesy article or two i wrote for the neighborhood rag in 04? co-authorship in a couple uninspiring psych and neuroscience articles, and ... that's it.   the psychotic ex thing was good for a couple things, and apparently learning how to go to ground successfully was one :D

I hear ya. Same reason I'm pretty hard to find on the interwebs.

.....Nope, I can't find me at ALL. The first 15+ pages of Google are all about the singer with the same name.


Hello, my friend named Michael Bolton?

/he has a wife, you know...
 
2013-11-24 11:40:23 AM  

satanorsanta: Her first name plus my last name gives an eastern european porn star that is into anal fisting


That's practically the definition of "giving".
 
2013-11-24 11:42:21 AM  
There are pluses and minuses to sharing a name. One of your doppelgangers might become famous.

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ghee-na-na-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well, at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know, there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There *was* nothing wrong with it... until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.


I have at least two doppelgangers. One writes embarrassingly bad fiction. No, he's not rich or famous or award-winning. Yes, I bought his book.
 
2013-11-24 11:47:05 AM  

Bastard Toadflax: logophile: .[upload.wikimedia.org image 340x599]

sometimes wish there had been innocence at the bottom, instead of hope.

Here's what never made sense to me about the Pandora myth:


She releases all kinds of evil and suffering intothe world, and keeps hope locked up in the box.


How does keeping hope locked up counter the evil that was unleashed? Shouldn't she have, I don't know... RELEASED HOPE AS WELL?


Farkin' Greeks were way over-rated. Aristotle didn't have the brains Zeus gave a swan.


I can understand someone hating to read Aristotle, but I don't see how you can think he was brainless.
 
2013-11-24 11:47:46 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: I have a relatively uncommon name. The only person that appears to share it writes really lurid online novels/stories about gay sex. Lucky me.


Oh yeah, for a long time the top result when one searched for my somewhat unusual name, was an amateur poet who wrote a bunch of crappy teen-style suicide poetry. I'd often get people who seemed to have googled my name and found this, because they'd give me compliments on my poetry (an obvious mistake because I don't write any.) Who knows how many people read it, thought it was by me, and didn't mention it.
 
2013-11-24 11:52:18 AM  
Just about everyone should have a White Pages and Spokeo hit on Google. Just because something is public record doesn't mean I appreciate having my age, sex, address, parents and spouse blasted all over the Internet. Tried pulling the "accounts" using their instructions and they pop up again in a matter of months.
 
2013-11-24 11:52:33 AM  
It's 2013, you can't expect someone, especially someone you may be intimate with or that might invite you to their home, not to Google you. It's not weird or stalkerish at all. I do a basic Google search of girls I go on dates with, see if they have a Facebook or Linkdin... and most cities or counties have their Property Appraiser records on-line now, so it's easy to do a quick check to find out where they live. I like to do a quick drive-by to make sure it's a safe neighborhood. And sometimes I'll take a quick peek at her garbage if she's not home, just to make sure I'm not dealing with a drug addict or something. It's 2013, you can't be too careful.
 
2013-11-24 11:54:14 AM  

satanorsanta: Google is part of the reason that my wife still uses her maiden name.  Her first name plus my last name gives an eastern european porn star that is into anal fisting


Danielle Rush?
 
2013-11-24 11:57:24 AM  
I have a fairly common name that I share with a b-list movie star.  Googling me is fruitless.

Searching for my name and my city, though, used to yield news stories about a man my age accused of murder.  I'm glad that's out of the top search results.
 
2013-11-24 11:58:54 AM  
I've had some trouble over the years getting second dates with women. I don't understand. I have a steady job with a good income. A house. Two cars. Maybe I should google my name and see what comes up. Of course, how common a name is Charles Manson Berkowitz?
 
2013-11-24 11:59:35 AM  
I did a GIS for my name. Now I wish I hadn't.

I'm someone who likes to take pictures, mostly travel-related stuff. Most people who know me know that about me. But apparently there's a pro photographer with my name...and he's got some disturbingly abusive bukkake-type shiat in his portfolio.

I wonder if anyone thinks that stuff is mine.
 
2013-11-24 11:59:51 AM  
If you Google me you get one child actress and one apparently famous Satanist. And then like a thousand boring people, one of whom is me... BUT WHICH ONE?
 
2013-11-24 12:00:21 PM  
Salt Lake Tribune, huh? Shouldn't be too hard to narrow it down. We know it wasn't one of Josh Powell's sons, he doesn't have any kids.

/aisle seat
 
2013-11-24 12:01:52 PM  
Last time I Googled my name, I discovered it's not exactly uncommon. Actually, I had to do a lot of searching before I found the 'real me'. Even then, it told very little about me.

Of course, I discovered I have around 150 'relatives'.
 
2013-11-24 12:07:07 PM  
So momma's in the graveyard, poppa's in the pen?

/Not the biggest deal ever
//She should just STFU and let him talk about it
 
2013-11-24 12:11:00 PM  

cards fan by association: Just about everyone should have a White Pages and Spokeo hit on Google. Just because something is public record doesn't mean I appreciate having my age, sex, address, parents and spouse blasted all over the Internet. Tried pulling the "accounts" using their instructions and they pop up again in a matter of months.


I don't really care for it either. When I just checked, apparently I'm now friends with some man I have never heard of in Minnesota. How does stuff like that get in there? AND I can see his name, age, address, a map to his house.......hey, looks nice.

The only thing I can figure is that maybe it's a Farker who sent me an email or something. Or it's......no one. Just a random wrong connection.
 
2013-11-24 12:15:58 PM  
I share a name with a famous Christian rock singer. Googling it gets over 35-40 pages before anything related to me appears. I also get email from 14 year old girls thanking me for my inspirational devotion to Jesus through my music. I am an electronic musician who doesn't sing... Imagine my confusion before I realized this other guy was out there. I also get tagged in Instagram multiple times every time he performs a concert, myspace 'stole' my URL after two years, with no warning, because I wasn't the 'right' me.
 
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