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(Salon)   "Only one man in 100 reaches beyond the 5-to-7-inch average. Why are men lying, and why do women expect more?" Well, have you tried dating lately? That kind of lie works   (salon.com) divider line 281
    More: Obvious, Kinsey Institute, Archives of Sexual Behavior, Samuel Pepys, gays  
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15719 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2013 at 11:39 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



281 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-24 03:37:01 AM  

ZAZ: If I ran a dating web site I would put in an entry for penis length in men's profiles and let women search on it. Then I would secretly let women leave feedback on their dates' penises. Then I would show men what each woman was really looking for in penis size, and show women what past dates had said about each man. Then I would publish the results, die in a mysterious fire, or both.


You must include girth as well.
 
2013-11-24 03:40:14 AM  
One man in 100? So gay orgy participants only?
 
2013-11-24 03:41:03 AM  

rogue_L_chick: shorter chicks are already cuter, why do you get tighter clams, too?


It's been my experience that they don't. The only loose girls I was ever with were 5'1" and 4'11". Mrs. Lion, on the other hand, is 5'9" and can barely take me. Keep doing those kegels, though; they can make a good thing even better.
 
2013-11-24 03:43:31 AM  

JustinCase: ZAZ: If I ran a dating web site I would put in an entry for penis length in men's profiles and let women search on it. Then I would secretly let women leave feedback on their dates' penises. Then I would show men what each woman was really looking for in penis size, and show women what past dates had said about each man. Then I would publish the results, die in a mysterious fire, or both.

You must include girth as well.


So needledicks need not apply is what you are saying? :)
 
2013-11-24 03:46:44 AM  
It's the thought that counts...as in "I thought you wouldn't mind me having a micro-penis"
 
2013-11-24 03:47:02 AM  

casual disregard: Let's say Amy has had ten sexual partners, all men. It's possible that she has about a 10% chance to have experienced at least one sexual encounter in which the penis was extremely large. It's also possible that all of her partners had micropenis. Which is more likely?


Don't forget to include qualitative data along with your quantitative data. In determining the probability that every man Amy sleeps with is hung like a hamster, you must generate an assessment of whether she is likely to attract below average, average, or above average men. As well as an assessment of the available pool of men in her region.
 
2013-11-24 03:55:05 AM  

casual disregard


Gdalescrboz: Let me get this straight. 5-7 inch average. Only 1 in 100 can make that average. I must be missing something or this is a Salon article

Extreme outliers betray and skew the average. It's like when Universities post data on the "average" salaries of their graduates and neglect to include the fact that folks like Michael Jordan graduated from there.

Frankly any mean without a standard deviation is a totally useless statistic. It's the standard deviation that really tells the story. And that's assuming you even have a normal distribution in the first place. Anatomy sometimes tends to be normal, but sometimes not.

Let's say Amy has had ten sexual partners, all men. It's possible that she has about a 10% chance to have experienced at least one sexual encounter in which the penis was extremely large. It's also possible that all of her partners had micropenis. Which is more likely?

/really really liked statistics
//considered changing major to statistics
///now heavily regret not making that change


If 99 out of 100 aren't meeting the average, that means the only way that 1 outlier can throw off the average is to be like 60 inches long; and I know 1 out of 100 men don't have 60 inch dicks
 
2013-11-24 04:01:24 AM  

Gdalescrboz: If 99 out of 100 aren't meeting the average, that means the only way that 1 outlier can throw off the average is to be like 60 inches long; and I know 1 out of 100 men don't have 60 inch dicks


Except you're leaving out the unfortunate dudes who are classified as micropenis. If memory serves, a micropenis is at least 2.5 standard deviations below the mean. Like I said, extreme outliers betray the average and the story is incomplete without mention of the standard deviation.
 
2013-11-24 04:08:37 AM  

Gdalescrboz: If 99 out of 100 aren't meeting the average, that means the only way that 1 outlier can throw off the average is to be like 60 inches long; and I know 1 out of 100 men don't have 60 inch dicks


Dude, you understand that the headline says 1 in 100 reaches BEYOND the 5 to 7 inch average. Right?
 
2013-11-24 04:11:50 AM  
i18.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-24 04:13:21 AM  
Protip: For you guys who are looking for a girl with a tight cha-cha, check out the size of her feet.  It's not 100%, but there's a strong correlation between the size of a woman's feet and the size of her box.

/inb4 replies from women with boat sized feet who claim they don't have a cavernous vaginas.
 
2013-11-24 04:24:01 AM  
static.giantbomb.com
 
2013-11-24 04:28:15 AM  

positronica: Protip: For you guys who are looking for a girl with a tight cha-cha, check out the size of her feet.  It's not 100%, but there's a strong correlation between the size of a woman's feet and the size of her box.

/inb4 replies from women with boat sized feet who claim they don't have a cavernous vaginas.



Not sure on that one. I've been with girls of similar size and one could be nice and snug, whilst the other could be loose and spacious.
 
2013-11-24 04:31:33 AM  

positronica: Protip: For you guys who are looking for a girl with a tight cha-cha, check out the size of her feet.  It's not 100%, but there's a strong correlation between the size of a woman's feet and the size of her box.

/inb4 replies from women with boat sized feet who claim they don't have a cavernous vaginas.


A gynecologist told me mouth size is a good indicator.  When it comes two women parts, I would say he is an expert.
 
2013-11-24 04:32:35 AM  

ArkAngel: Yay for being a one percenter


So under 5" then?
 
2013-11-24 04:37:48 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: It's not how big it is, it's how sincere your tearful apology is twenty-four seconds later.


LOL good one.

As an ugly man with a large cawk Id gladly trade an inch or two of length for a point of two of looks because having a big one dont help you till you get the woman to fark you in the first place. Ill garantee you a 7 with a 5" cawk gets more pussy than a 5 with a 7" cawk.
 
2013-11-24 04:40:26 AM  
Survey bias.  Heavy hitters say, "GTFO" when someone they have no hope or desire to fark asks about their junk.
 
2013-11-24 04:43:08 AM  
FTFA: When the Kinsey Institute reviewed its founder's data thirty years after it was published, in the light of subsequent findings, it showed that ... only one in a thousand touches 9. But Durex and the Definitive Penis Internet surveys, while stressing that their core findings are consistent with Kinsey, have cautiously proposed that ... ten and thirty in a thousand reaching beyond [9]. ... both surveys have suggested that one man in a hundred posts double figures.

Eh? If only 1 - 30 per thousand gets to 9 inches, how can 1 in a hundred get to 10?
 
2013-11-24 04:50:07 AM  
Small penis humiliation is so profitable though!
 
2013-11-24 04:50:42 AM  

Oldiron_79: Mr. Coffee Nerves: It's not how big it is, it's how sincere your tearful apology is twenty-four seconds later.

LOL good one.

As an ugly man with a large cawk Id gladly trade an inch or two of length for a point of two of looks because having a big one dont help you till you get the woman to fark you in the first place. Ill garantee you a 7 with a 5" cawk gets more pussy than a 5 with a 7" cawk.


Have you tried being rich?
 
2013-11-24 04:55:19 AM  

El Pachuco: From browsing 4chan, I have learned that it wasn't my above-average length or girth that made me popular.  It was because what I have isn't buried in fat or hair, and isn't shaped like a letter from the Russian alphabet, and lasts more than 14 seconds.  Ladies, you have my sympathy - I've never met a single vajayjay as weird as a 4chan poster's dick.


I think I just woke up half the neighborhood.
 
2013-11-24 04:56:03 AM  

lewismarktwo: Oldiron_79: Mr. Coffee Nerves: It's not how big it is, it's how sincere your tearful apology is twenty-four seconds later.

LOL good one.

As an ugly man with a large cawk Id gladly trade an inch or two of length for a point of two of looks because having a big one dont help you till you get the woman to fark you in the first place. Ill garantee you a 7 with a 5" cawk gets more pussy than a 5 with a 7" cawk.

Have you tried being rich?


Im sure it would help.
 
2013-11-24 04:59:59 AM  
I'm black, so I'm getting a kick...
 
2013-11-24 05:00:25 AM  

GungFu: positronica: Protip: For you guys who are looking for a girl with a tight cha-cha, check out the size of her feet.  It's not 100%, but there's a strong correlation between the size of a woman's feet and the size of her box.

/inb4 replies from women with boat sized feet who claim they don't have a cavernous vaginas.


Not sure on that one. I've been with girls of similar size and one could be nice and snug, whilst the other could be loose and spacious.


I dunno, man, my "friend" assures me there is no lack of ugly, fat, old, big penised men banging attractive young women on various amateur webs dedicated to preserving such videography.

/notably, there are also apparently plenty of ugly, fat, old women receiving big ol' boners, too
//apparently. according to my "friend"
 
2013-11-24 05:09:51 AM  

Lady Indica: Small penis humiliation is so profitable though!


Hey dont be hatin' on my hummer dealership across the street from the penis enlargement clinic.
 
2013-11-24 05:11:20 AM  
Wait, if those numbers are true, then that means that certain groups of people do not have bigger ones, as reported...Damn Amish have been lying to the ladies.
 
2013-11-24 05:22:00 AM  

HotWingAgenda


Gdalescrboz: If 99 out of 100 aren't meeting the average, that means the only way that 1 outlier can throw off the average is to be like 60 inches long; and I know 1 out of 100 men don't have 60 inch dicks

Dude, you understand that the headline says 1 in 100 reaches BEYOND the 5 to 7 inch average. Right?


Notice it I did not. Thank you
 
2013-11-24 05:38:40 AM  

Ringshadow: Solution: date shorter women. I'm 5'2" and you cannot fit a semi truck in a single car garage.


Any longer than "long enough to painfully bump the ol' cervix if he's not careful in the heat of passion" is wasted, yes?
 
2013-11-24 05:40:12 AM  

Mikey1969: Bucky Katt: Mikey1969: I'm curious how people can even measure the length of their johnson in the first place. I can't be alone, but I would bet that my wood can vary by at least an inch in length and as much in girth depending on any number of factors. it also varies greatly in length at parade rest. I'm just not sure how they can come up with an "average" if every guy has variations like this.

As for me, I feel no need to lie, my wife has never complained, so it doesn't really matter to me how I "measure up"...

You're overthinking it.

How? It's never quite the same size twice in a row, so I have seriously wondered how they could have established an "average" in the first place. I don't know how that's overthinking anything.


Its all in how you measure. I hook the tape measure in my asshole.
 
2013-11-24 05:43:38 AM  
After the first dozen foreplay orgasms, you wouldn't care if I had a penis at all.
 
2013-11-24 05:43:51 AM  

wellreadneck: One of the best things about being gay is that if I'm disappointed, I can just flip him over.


*blink*

LOLOLOL!

Dayum, that's just funny right there. Well played, sir!
 
2013-11-24 05:49:30 AM  

positronica: Protip: For you guys who are looking for a girl with a tight cha-cha, check out the size of her feet.  It's not 100%, but there's a strong correlation between the size of a woman's feet and the size of her box.

/inb4 replies from women with boat sized feet who claim they don't have a cavernous vaginas.


Mrs. Delaware and her ski feet would like a word with you.
 
2013-11-24 05:57:02 AM  
There's only one .gif for this shiat:

... seriously, no one gives a shiat.  If your girlfriend/boyfriend is pulling out a farkin' ruler during ex, you've clearly done something so irreparably wrong that you should just retire your penis and join a damned Franciscan monastery or some shiat, you're well beyond the point where even the internet can help you if you suck that badly at intercourse.
 
2013-11-24 05:58:27 AM  
aw, fark the graphics and their linkin' fail:
mrwgifs.com
 
2013-11-24 06:01:01 AM  

Jim_Callahan: There's only one .gif for this shiat:

... seriously, no one gives a shiat.  If your girlfriend/boyfriend is pulling out a farkin' ruler during ex, you've clearly done something so irreparably wrong that you should just retire your penis and join a damned Franciscan monastery or some shiat, you're well beyond the point where even the internet can help you if you suck that badly at intercourse.


.....no, that's not the case at all. There are truly men woefully under-equipped by nature that even the most egalitarian woman would turn up her nose and head for the door. There are also those women for, whatever reason, require a certain size for maximal stimulation. Just being bad at sex is not even remotely part of the issue here.
 
2013-11-24 06:12:32 AM  

hervatski: Heterosexual men think of other men's penis a little too much.


I don't

/but other women's breasts, that's another story
 
2013-11-24 06:20:27 AM  
The thing that always throws me about the whole sex thing is why you able-bodies have to do standard plug-in-socket sex. I mean sure it's different for the gay folks but I'm speaking heterosexually here. I'm disabled. Blah blah blah (see my profile.) Before the wife four years ago, I was a lame 26 year old virgin. I thought I'd ponce the whole thing because I'm simply not able to do standard sex. Come to find out my skills lay elsewhere sexually. I'm not gloating when I say I'm not allowed to give my wife orgasms because the headaches she gets are damn hardcore.

That being said, why can't you able-bodies adapt and overcome. Statistically, it's not very likely you and her (or you and him) are going to be 100% compatible in terms of organ symmetry. If you love each other, why not find new ways?

Not to belabor the point but I am kind of chuffed I'm not allowed to find the wife's inherent high score. I love pinball (especially Gorgar) and I want to go for the high score... See if I can flip her numbers, dig? Bumpers, plungers, etc.

Pinball, as it turns out, is rife with sexual innuendo. *grin*
 
2013-11-24 06:28:54 AM  
Delusions? About sex? From men? No way. The penis gets longer, stronger and stiffer as you age. Pay no attention to the bald heads, hairy backs, paunches, snoring and afternoon naps! It's all a trap designed to lull you into a false sense of security! Just when you think it's safe, that middle-aged dinosaur cock comes out!!!
 
2013-11-24 06:31:17 AM  

RKade: Not to belabor the point but I am kind of chuffed I'm not allowed to find the wife's inherent high score. I love pinball (especially Gorgar) and I want to go for the high score... See if I can flip her numbers, dig? Bumpers, plungers, etc.


Okay, that's weirder than the Frank Zappa analogy upthread.
 
2013-11-24 06:41:57 AM  
Huh, I must be more rarely endowed than I though.

Course, the only person who sees mine is me, so I have no witnesses to call.
 
2013-11-24 06:42:09 AM  
Who do you think you're gonna please with That little thing?

Me!
 
2013-11-24 06:48:09 AM  

RKade: That being said, why can't you able-bodies adapt and overcome.


Sometimes that is definitely possible. In other cases, the receiving partner insists on a certain size limit. Nothing too small or nothing too large.
 
2013-11-24 07:00:08 AM  
l l
l l
l l
/ \
----

That almost looks like a bong.
 
2013-11-24 07:01:57 AM  

Ringshadow: Solution: date shorter women. I'm 5'2" and you cannot fit a semi truck in a single car garage.

/have a big tonker? you are not welcome here
//my vagina is not taking resumes at the moment so don't ask


i184.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-24 07:07:16 AM  
Also I should have realized this thread would be tiny guys claiming they're bigger than they are. No, it's still tiny. Your wife just did you a favor and settled.
 
2013-11-24 07:08:54 AM  
ptl;dr
 
2013-11-24 07:13:35 AM  
Men are lying because a big dick is considered desirable.
Women are lying because a big dick is considered desirable.

Lots of girls will imply or say the guy they are with is hung.  And lots of girls will make fun of an ex for having a tiny dick.  Funny, how breaking up with a girl can remove inches from a man's dick.

Men and Women also lie about their careers, their relationships, their salaries, their living situation, their appearance, their income, their talents, their history, their weight, their desires, etc, etc....
 
2013-11-24 07:15:43 AM  
As an older guy, I'm pretty sure of the following: most women don't care that much about penis size as long as its big enough and the guy can use it well. Enough could be 5 inches long or even less. A small number of women need big to have an orgasm, they may not realize that until that moment of revelation...or the purchase of the right toy...

Those women would probably wish that guys all wore signs to tell them how big it is. Because sleeping with a lot of guys to find out is not the best method.
 
2013-11-24 07:26:33 AM  

Animatronik: As an older guy, I'm pretty sure of the following: most women don't care that much about penis size as long as its big enough and the guy can use it well.

the wallet size is OK.

fixed
 
2013-11-24 07:30:18 AM  

Animatronik: As an older guy, I'm pretty sure of the following: most women don't care that much about penis size as long as its big enough and the guy can use it well. Enough could be 5 inches long or even less. A small number of women need big to have an orgasm, they may not realize that until that moment of revelation...or the purchase of the right toy...

Those women would probably wish that guys all wore signs to tell them how big it is. Because sleeping with a lot of guys to find out is not the best method.


Thanks to various webs, they no longer need signs.
 
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