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(Salon)   "Only one man in 100 reaches beyond the 5-to-7-inch average. Why are men lying, and why do women expect more?" Well, have you tried dating lately? That kind of lie works   (salon.com) divider line 281
    More: Obvious, Kinsey Institute, Archives of Sexual Behavior, Samuel Pepys, gays  
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15704 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2013 at 11:39 PM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



281 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-24 01:11:22 AM
Richard Pryor:
Biatch, I'm gonna find me some new pn55y.
N!663r, you had two more inches of dick, you'd find some new pn55y right here.

Classic.
 
2013-11-24 01:13:27 AM

cyberspacedout: Got me the strangest woman... believe me, this chick's no cinch... but I really get her going... when I take out my big ten-inch

...record of the band that plays the blues...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rws_7mLTqj8



Approves!
 
2013-11-24 01:14:01 AM
Yeoman: Dude, stop doing that to the bundt cake, you'll go blind!

Is a bundt....

/bigfatgreekwedding
//bigfatgreekstyleweiner
 
2013-11-24 01:16:17 AM
Women have inside-out penises; the equivalent to a big penis is a big vagina.
 
2013-11-24 01:18:45 AM

Ringshadow: Solution: date shorter women. I'm 5'2" and you cannot fit a semi truck in a single car garage.

/have a big tonker? you are not welcome here
//my vagina is not taking resumes at the moment so don't ask


This makes me feel suddenly insecure about how many women 5'4" and below I've dated. And it's not like I intentionally date women a full foot shorter than me.
 
2013-11-24 01:19:17 AM

velvetrevolution00: Women have inside-out penises; the equivalent to a big penis is a big vagina.


Actually, it'd be a small vagina. Guys tend to like them small so they feel bigger -- and because it's tighter.
 
2013-11-24 01:20:32 AM
I had penis reduction to 5". Most women still have difficulty accommodating that width.
 
2013-11-24 01:26:04 AM

Kanemano: My dick: pink and big
Your dick stinks like shiat


Rhyme fail.

DS is the best in the business
PS- we got dicks like Jesus


[Maybe NSFW]
 
2013-11-24 01:27:08 AM
HotWingAgenda:

This makes me feel suddenly insecure about how many women 5'4" and below I've dated. And it's not like I intentionally date women a full foot shorter than me.

Well it's just my personal logic, it probably doesn't apply to all women let alone you.
 
2013-11-24 01:27:45 AM

Kyoki: Yeoman: Dude, stop doing that to the bundt cake, you'll go blind!

Is a bundt....

/bigfatgreekwedding
//bigfatgreekstyleweiner


Well, carry on, then.
 
2013-11-24 01:28:25 AM

keithgabryelski: [img.fark.net image 694x1000]http://www.mraverage.com/results.htm


Very interesting how girth did not follow a simple bell curve.
 
2013-11-24 01:28:37 AM
 
2013-11-24 01:28:47 AM
Man, you guys stepped it up a notch in this thread. Its the most wit I've seen here since the sights. Compensating?
 
2013-11-24 01:30:13 AM
Excuse me while I whip this out...
 
2013-11-24 01:37:02 AM
From browsing 4chan, I have learned that it wasn't my above-average length or girth that made me popular.  It was because what I have isn't buried in fat or hair, and isn't shaped like a letter from the Russian alphabet, and lasts more than 14 seconds.  Ladies, you have my sympathy - I've never met a single vajayjay as weird as a 4chan poster's dick.
 
2013-11-24 01:37:59 AM
Sinatra's gone but 7 years into her relationship with Woody Allen Mia Farrow had Ronan Farrow with Frank Sinatra so it makes you wonder if there was something to that. Or maybe she was getting him back for banging teenagers. Since he just got his own TV show but hasn't made the tabloids I have to assume he's gay so no girlfriend tellalls about Little Ronan.
 
2013-11-24 01:45:45 AM

Notabunny: Mr. Coffee Nerves: It's not how big it is, it's how sincere your tearful apology is twenty-four seconds later.

years of practice set me head and shoulders above the rest


Roses are red
Violets are flowers
I can keep going
for hours and hours
 
2013-11-24 01:46:02 AM

Ringshadow: Solution: date shorter women. I'm 5'2" and you cannot fit a semi truck in a single car garage.

/have a big tonker? you are not welcome here
//my vagina is not taking resumes at the moment so don't ask




Oh, shiat. I'm 5'10"...thanks to you, now I have to worry that I have a parking garage betwixt my thighs.

/thank goodness for all the kegels
//shorter chicks are already cuter, why do you get tighter clams, too?
 
2013-11-24 01:52:26 AM

rogue_L_chick: Ringshadow: Solution: date shorter women. I'm 5'2" and you cannot fit a semi truck in a single car garage.

/have a big tonker? you are not welcome here
//my vagina is not taking resumes at the moment so don't ask

Oh, shiat. I'm 5'10"...thanks to you, now I have to worry that I have a parking garage betwixt my thighs.

/thank goodness for all the kegels
//shorter chicks are already cuter, why do you get tighter clams, too?


I am a man, 5'3" and am average (in penis size), I have met short women who were very loose and tall women very tight. Emotional attachment and honesty will almost always get you better orgasms than anything else.

/In an honorable mans response
//At least that what the women told me
///I am short and lucky to get any :(
 
2013-11-24 01:52:47 AM

Kyoki: Richard Pryor:
Biatch, I'm gonna find me some new pn55y.
N!663r, you had two more inches of dick, you'd find some new pn55y right here.

Classic.


What is this pn55y Richard Pryor was talking about?

The joke would have been much funnier if Pryor had been discussing pussy. Well, I guess even the legends don't always hit a home run.
 
2013-11-24 01:55:42 AM

sleeper2995: Woman talk about not dating men with a average penis size and no one bats an eye. Say you don't date girls because of their waist size and everyone loses their minds.


Pretty much works that way for everything. You can say more or less anything about a man, but women are perfect angels who can never be criticized.
 
2013-11-24 01:58:05 AM
It's not my fault if my penis is larger than most people I see in the locker room.

They should have an erection like I always do.
 
2013-11-24 02:04:12 AM

Slartibreakfast: I am a man, 5'3" and am average (in penis size), I have met short women who were very loose and tall women very tight. Emotional attachment and honesty will almost always get you better orgasms than anything else.

/In an honorable mans response
//At least that what the women told me
///I am short and lucky to get any :(


I'd rather have your problems. People look at me and think I'm travelsized :\ It's like uh, no.

Again this is just my logic. Then again whoever designed humans seems to have assigned our anatomy at random, so other peoples' mileage my vary.

/aromantic, 30, no kids
//I did not mean to cast aspersions, rogue_L_chick, I apologize
 
2013-11-24 02:04:40 AM

GungFu: It's not my fault if my penis is larger than most people I see in the locker room.

They should have an erection like I always do.


My one brief foray onto a nude beach in Europe ended unceremoniously after an hour when my wife realized my erection was never going to go away.  I don't know what the hell she was thinking when she suggested we go to one.  I almost got rid of it but then other people started staring and there was absolutely no cooperation from the nether region at all.
 
2013-11-24 02:05:16 AM
I'm one in a hundred woohoo!
 
2013-11-24 02:10:47 AM
Barely 6" on a good day. Out of 50 or so women in my life had only one make a comment that she thought I was a bit on the small size. I actually didn't feel bad about that at all, because while we were doing it I was thinking to myself that she was quite cavernous down there. I took the high road and didn't say anything.
 
2013-11-24 02:11:17 AM
TBH, if it's too big, it can get into a "Blessed with Suck" situation.  My boyfriend is like that.  He's larger ( certainly thicker) than the average porn star, and a good foot taller than me, so it can make things awkward.  I'm thinking about getting one of those dildos from the bad dragon website,if only because they're the closest I've found in terms of girth. If I get used to that, it might make things easier on us.  That + a hitachi for long enough, I might be able to get things to work better.

\The Green Intern said he felt bad about bragging so I'll do it for him
\\ It really is that impressive, I just need to get better at taking it
\\\ Good thing I like trying ^_^
 
2013-11-24 02:11:18 AM
YAY for prehensile tails!
 
2013-11-24 02:14:52 AM
Men's penises are kind of like women's boobs: You can make them seem larger/smaller depending on how you present them. If you're obese and hunched forward even an above average erection isn't going to look too impressive. Lay back and push down to the pelvic bone and you've got an entirely different situation.
 
2013-11-24 02:15:55 AM
Guys= Who has the biggest cock? Wins the ladies.
Gals= Who has the most money? Wins the ladies.
 
2013-11-24 02:16:03 AM

GungFu: It's not my fault if my penis is larger than most people I see in the locker room.

They should have an erection like I always do.


Your penis is larger than people?  Yikes!
 
2013-11-24 02:17:10 AM
I'm curious how people can even measure the length of their johnson in the first place. I can't be alone, but I would bet that my wood can vary by at least an inch in length and as much in girth depending on any number of factors. it also varies greatly in length at parade rest. I'm just not sure how they can come up with an "average" if every guy has variations like this.

As for me, I feel no need to lie, my wife has never complained, so it doesn't really matter to me how I "measure up"...
 
2013-11-24 02:19:53 AM
I was in the pool!  There was shrinkage!
 
2013-11-24 02:29:36 AM

Mikey1969: I'm curious how people can even measure the length of their johnson in the first place. I can't be alone, but I would bet that my wood can vary by at least an inch in length and as much in girth depending on any number of factors. it also varies greatly in length at parade rest. I'm just not sure how they can come up with an "average" if every guy has variations like this.

As for me, I feel no need to lie, my wife has never complained, so it doesn't really matter to me how I "measure up"...


You're overthinking it.
 
2013-11-24 02:29:47 AM

Dreamless: GungFu: It's not my fault if my penis is larger than most people I see in the locker room.

They should have an erection like I always do.

Your penis is larger than people?  Yikes!



I knew that was coming.

Damn Fark for no edit function and my no Preview.
 
/penis goes limp
 
2013-11-24 02:29:57 AM

OgreMagi: I was in the pool!  There was shrinkage!


I don't know how you walk around with those thing?
 
2013-11-24 02:31:43 AM
Shape>size, unless it's a micro.
 
2013-11-24 02:34:38 AM
Ringshadow:
I'd rather have your problems. People look at me and think I'm travelsized :\ It's like uh, no.

Again this is just my logic. Then again whoever designed humans seems to have assigned our anatomy at random, so other peoples' mileage my vary.

/aromantic, 30, no kids
//I did not mean to cast aspersions, rogue_L_chick, I apologize


New Word Alert!
aromantic
a-ro-man-tic,
~~/ehrōˈmantik/
 adjective
Does it mean:
A.) to not be romantic
B.) to be in love with the smell of sex
C.) to be in love with the smell of butt sex
 
2013-11-24 02:35:23 AM

Bucky Katt: Mikey1969: I'm curious how people can even measure the length of their johnson in the first place. I can't be alone, but I would bet that my wood can vary by at least an inch in length and as much in girth depending on any number of factors. it also varies greatly in length at parade rest. I'm just not sure how they can come up with an "average" if every guy has variations like this.

As for me, I feel no need to lie, my wife has never complained, so it doesn't really matter to me how I "measure up"...

You're overthinking it.


How? It's never quite the same size twice in a row, so I have seriously wondered how they could have established an "average" in the first place. I don't know how that's overthinking anything.
 
2013-11-24 02:39:43 AM
Hello.
 
2013-11-24 02:43:11 AM
Low end of the average. At least one girl told me that made her more willing to do anal.
 
2013-11-24 02:44:06 AM

rogue_L_chick: Ringshadow: Solution: date shorter women. I'm 5'2" and you cannot fit a semi truck in a single car garage.

/have a big tonker? you are not welcome here
//my vagina is not taking resumes at the moment so don't ask

Oh, shiat. I'm 5'10"...thanks to you, now I have to worry that I have a parking garage betwixt my thighs.

/thank goodness for all the kegels
//shorter chicks are already cuter, why do you get tighter clams, too?


Don't worry about it. There are plenty of us guys that like tall women. Seriously, I don't mind short women but tall girls do it for me.
 
2013-11-24 02:50:08 AM

tuna fingers: New Word Alert!
aromantic
a-ro-man-tic,
~~/ehrōˈmantik/
 adjective
Does it mean:
A.) to not be romantic
B.) to be in love with the smell of sex
C.) to be in love with the smell of butt sex


Human sexuality lesson time.

Heterosexual: Likes the opposite sex
Homosexual: Likes the same sex
Bisexual: Likes both sexes
Pansexual: Either. both. Whatever. YAY SEX.
Asexual: Opts out of the whole sex thing. Not feeling it bro/sis.
Aromantic: Down for sex, not down for 'romance' and has little 'drive' to be in a relationship

Basically my stance is like yeeaaah sex is cool but I'm perfectly happy to be single and I'm just not feeling the whole added complication thing of a relationship right now. Don't really want. Might want someday. If do want, there will be no candlelight dinners or forced screenings of The Notebook.

I am this cat:

i.chzbgr.com

/meh
//if my coworkers would quit trying to set me up life would be peachy
 
2013-11-24 02:50:12 AM

sycraft: rogue_L_chick: Ringshadow: Solution: date shorter women. I'm 5'2" and you cannot fit a semi truck in a single car garage.

/have a big tonker? you are not welcome here
//my vagina is not taking resumes at the moment so don't ask

Oh, shiat. I'm 5'10"...thanks to you, now I have to worry that I have a parking garage betwixt my thighs.

/thank goodness for all the kegels
//shorter chicks are already cuter, why do you get tighter clams, too?

Don't worry about it. There are plenty of us guys that like tall women. Seriously, I don't mind short women but tall girls do it for me.


Yup, this. There's just something about those amazon girls . . . unf,
 
2013-11-24 02:54:51 AM

Ringshadow: Basically my stance is like yeeaaah sex is cool but I'm perfectly happy to be single and I'm just not feeling the whole added complication thing of a relationship right now. Don't really want. Might want someday. If do want, there will be no candlelight dinners or forced screenings of The Notebook.



Understandable. Relationships are a lot of work and more often than not end up bad. Plus many people get real, real, needy with them. My last one ended badly and I haven't gone looking in some time.

Which is not to say I wouldn't like one though.
 
2013-11-24 03:09:40 AM

hervatski: Heterosexual men think of other men's penis a little too much.


Hey now, there's nothing we love more than a nice big penis.

The way I think about it is there are women (and men I guess) for whom size matters and then there are those for whom it does not matter. If your partner does not like your body, you don't need a new body, you need a new partner.

Strictly speaking in terms of size preference, though, women certainly have the advantage. A woman unsatisfied by the size of her partner's penis can most likely find a new partner with a better penis. The dude who gets left behind is rather attached to his own penis.
 
2013-11-24 03:11:38 AM

casual disregard: hervatski: Heterosexual men think of other men's penis a little too much.

Hey now, there's nothing we love more than a nice big penis.

The way I think about it is there are women (and men I guess) for whom size matters and then there are those for whom it does not matter. If your partner does not like your body, you don't need a new body, you need a new partner.

Strictly speaking in terms of size preference, though, women certainly have the advantage. A woman unsatisfied by the size of her partner's penis can most likely find a new partner with a better penis. The dude who gets left behind is rather attached to his own penis.


Unless his last partner studied under Lorena Bobbitt.
 
2013-11-24 03:11:57 AM

padraig: Low end of the average. At least one girl told me that made her more willing to do anal.


Been mentioned a few times on Fark, and this is inline with my experiences although being on the other side. Anal sex is the realm of smaller sized men.

"I like anal sex, but you are too big" is something I've heard a lot.
 
2013-11-24 03:23:47 AM
Let me get this straight.  5-7 inch average. Only 1 in 100 can make that average.  I must be missing something or this is a Salon article
 
2013-11-24 03:32:41 AM

Gdalescrboz: Let me get this straight.  5-7 inch average. Only 1 in 100 can make that average.  I must be missing something or this is a Salon article


Extreme outliers betray and skew the average. It's like when Universities post data on the "average" salaries of their graduates and neglect to include the fact that folks like Michael Jordan graduated from there.

Frankly any mean without a standard deviation is a totally useless statistic. It's the standard deviation that really tells the story. And that's assuming you even have a normal distribution in the first place. Anatomy sometimes tends to be normal, but sometimes not.

Let's say Amy has had ten sexual partners, all men. It's possible that she has about a 10% chance to have experienced at least one sexual encounter in which the penis was extremely large. It's also possible that all of her partners had micropenis. Which is more likely?

/really really liked statistics
//considered changing major to statistics
///now heavily regret not making that change
 
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