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(Patch)   Nooooooooooo FDA trans-fat ban may kill Bergers Cookies. Company says trans-fat free version tastes "nasty" and if they can't find an alternative soon they may have to go out of business   (timonium.patch.com) divider line 181
    More: Sad, FDA, Berger Cookies, microwave popcorn, Ellicott City, hydrogenations  
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6068 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2013 at 2:36 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



181 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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NFA [TotalFark]
2013-11-23 10:11:02 AM
 
2013-11-23 10:15:52 AM
Some food scientist needs to develop an artificial clogged artery flavor, stat!
 
2013-11-23 10:16:11 AM
Lard.
 
2013-11-23 10:17:52 AM

namegoeshere: Lard.


They tried that

/the lard worked in mysterious ways
 
2013-11-23 10:26:11 AM
Some cookie I never heard of.  And it's made in Baltimore?  Who the hell cares?
 
2013-11-23 10:31:10 AM
I like to bake but I've never used Margarine.  Maybe try butter??  FTA: But two of the cookies' key ingredients-margarine and fudge-contain partially hydrogenated soybean and cottonseed oil, a source of trans fat.
 
2013-11-23 10:49:41 AM

namegoeshere: Lard.


^ Came here fort lard.

Leaving satisfied.
 
2013-11-23 11:16:58 AM
I, for one, look forward to building a black market empire in trans fat goodness.

I am currently taking applications for henchmen and delivery boys.
 
2013-11-23 11:30:51 AM
Something tells me if they can't make their cookies without trans fats, those are shiatty cookies anyway.
 
2013-11-23 11:37:41 AM

NewportBarGuy: I, for one, look forward to building a black market empire in trans fat goodness.

I am currently taking applications for henchmen and delivery boys.



Is this position open? If so, I would like to apply. Qualifications listed in profile.

media.melty.fr
 
2013-11-23 11:38:59 AM

gfid: Some cookie I never heard of.  And it's made in Baltimore?  Who the hell cares?


This. Don't let the door hit you on the ass, buggy whip / cookie manufactures.
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2013-11-23 11:50:01 AM

gfid: Some cookie I never heard of.  And it's made in Baltimore?  Who the hell cares?



Your life is less without them and you don't even know it.
 
2013-11-23 11:50:23 AM
First they came for Bergers Cookies, but I did not speak out because I was not a fat f*ck from Baltimore.
 
2013-11-23 11:55:29 AM
If there was only some kind of fat that existed before trans fats were invented...
 
2013-11-23 12:13:38 PM

raerae1980: I like to bake but I've never used Margarine.  Maybe try butter??


That creates a shelf-stability issue -- butter goes rancid.
 
2013-11-23 12:19:58 PM
Fat People Problems.
 
2013-11-23 12:24:21 PM

Beerguy: NewportBarGuy: I, for one, look forward to building a black market empire in trans fat goodness.

I am currently taking applications for henchmen and delivery boys.


Is this position open? If so, I would like to apply. Qualifications listed in profile.

[media.melty.fr image 850x467]


Indeed it is. I'm thinking of using Nutrisystem storefronts as a cover. I mean, you already have a huge market of fatties who are trying to lose weight. They are the easiest people to sell to. Through them, we get their fat families and fat friends. I've got the Col. Sanders mafia lined up for distribution.

There will be a lot of competition, so it could be bloody. I've got Jean Reno and the Wolf on board as cleaners. So, if it gets to messy, just give them a call.
 
2013-11-23 12:32:42 PM
I think I'll make some cookies today...
 
2013-11-23 12:36:38 PM
Butter perhaps?
 
2013-11-23 01:01:02 PM

make me some tea: Butter perhaps?


BKITU: raerae1980: I like to bake but I've never used Margarine.  Maybe try butter??

That creates a shelf-stability issue -- butter goes rancid.

 
2013-11-23 01:01:12 PM

jake_lex: Something tells me if they can't make their cookies without trans fats, those are shiatty cookies anyway.


Sounds like Berger's is using the trans-fat as a crutch to bad baking.

/like putting ranch dressing on your famous wings
 
2013-11-23 01:08:53 PM

gfid: Who the hell cares?


vartian: This


Their employees. Maybe you can hire them.
 
2013-11-23 01:11:39 PM

BKITU: make me some tea: Butter perhaps?

BKITU: raerae1980: I like to bake but I've never used Margarine.  Maybe try butter??

That creates a shelf-stability issue -- butter goes rancid.


Coconut oil?
 
2013-11-23 01:24:43 PM

NewportBarGuy: Beerguy: NewportBarGuy: I, for one, look forward to building a black market empire in trans fat goodness.

I am currently taking applications for henchmen and delivery boys.


Is this position open? If so, I would like to apply. Qualifications listed in profile.

[media.melty.fr image 850x467]

Indeed it is. I'm thinking of using Nutrisystem storefronts as a cover. I mean, you already have a huge market of fatties who are trying to lose weight. They are the easiest people to sell to. Through them, we get their fat families and fat friends. I've got the Col. Sanders mafia lined up for distribution.

There will be a lot of competition, so it could be bloody. I've got Jean Reno and the Wolf on board as cleaners. So, if it gets to messy, just give them a call.


I may have to preemptively "lay some groundwork" within the newly revived Hostess company. I am sure I can find at least one weak link that could be persuaded to "assist" us. I will keep you posted.
 
2013-11-23 01:27:38 PM

Dancin_In_Anson: gfid: Who the hell cares?

vartian: This

Their employees. Maybe you can hire them.


If the fatties aren't buying Berger's cookies, the demand for somebody else's cookies go up and they'll need to hire new employees to meet the demand.
 
2013-11-23 01:32:13 PM
Wikipedia:

The Berger Cookie recipe was brought to America from Germany by George and Henry Berger in 1835

1835, also known as the height of the trans fat era.
 
2013-11-23 01:39:24 PM

jaylectricity: If the fatties aren't buying Berger's cookies, the demand for somebody else's cookies go up and they'll need to hire new employees to meet the demand.


Lots of cookie manufacturers in the greater Baltimore metro area to pick up the slack eh?
 
2013-11-23 01:41:04 PM

jake_lex: Something tells me if they can't make their cookies without trans fats, those are shiatty cookies anyway.


This. Sounds like their customers are used to eating shiatty, cheap ingredients. That's why they don't taste right. What gets me, though, is that the FDA won't let them put a gram of cheap oil in the cookies, but they can load the damn things with enough sugar and corn syrup to make your pancreas explode, and nobody says "boo."

I don't give a shiat what they put in their cookies, as long as it's listed somewhere, so people know what's in it. And if people can't be arsed enough to know what they're eating, then let them clog their arteries.
 
2013-11-23 01:44:31 PM

Relatively Obscure: Wikipedia:

The Berger Cookie recipe was brought to America from Germany by George and Henry Berger in 1835

1835, also known as the height of the trans fat era.


It was also the beginning of the steam locomotive era. Coincidence?
 
2013-11-23 02:38:42 PM
What are Bergers Cookies? Is it a local thing?
 
2013-11-23 02:40:08 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-11-23 02:43:47 PM
o.onionstatic.com
 
2013-11-23 02:46:16 PM
But I can't make my "Old Dr. Joe's Patent Miracle Elixir" if you outlaw commercial sale of cocaine and morphine!  Free Market!  Caveat emptor!  Tyranny!
 
2013-11-23 02:46:52 PM
Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.
 
2013-11-23 02:47:24 PM
i.qkme.me
 
2013-11-23 02:47:43 PM
At least 5 generations of people have survived, and life expectancy has increased, while eating things made with Crisco, lard, butter, salt, tallow, all the things we shouldn't have anymore. Why is this even a big deal? Say it has trans fats in it and let the people decide.
 
2013-11-23 02:49:21 PM
Cottonseed oil wasn't used in major oil additives here until 1857, soy later still, so if they go back to the original formula of 1835 and start there, there should be no issues with taste whatsoever.
 
2013-11-23 02:49:49 PM

Cuchulane: Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.


Buffalo and bison
Bison and buffalo
 
2013-11-23 02:50:29 PM
I don't care about this because soon I'll be able to go down the block and pick up one of these. Then I really won't care.

demo.mmjsoft.com
 
2013-11-23 02:51:31 PM

Dimensio: o.onionstatic.com


dafuq
 
2013-11-23 02:52:02 PM
One Berger's cookie is farking fantastic. Two and I feel like I'm going to go into a diabetic coma, and I'm not diabetic.

/Yet.
 
2013-11-23 02:52:39 PM
They can put a "these will probably kill you horribly" label on cigarettes but not on cookies?
 
2013-11-23 02:55:51 PM
We may yet rediscover how to cook for ourselves.
 
2013-11-23 02:59:00 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Say it has trans fats in it and let the people decide.


Well,   that would be one way to do it.
 
2013-11-23 02:59:14 PM
Make your own cookies.  It's not that hard.
 
2013-11-23 03:00:17 PM
I has no idea cookies were such a big deal in Baltimore. Fark is "not news" though so this fits right in.
 
2013-11-23 03:00:44 PM
If the shiat's so bad for you that even the US Government is saying not to use it, maybe you would do well to consider not using it in your products.
 
2013-11-23 03:00:52 PM

flucto: They can put a "these will probably kill you horribly" label on cigarettes but not on cookies?


When the feds ban things that will probably kill me horribly, then the terrorists have won.
 
2013-11-23 03:01:16 PM
media.treehugger.com
 
2013-11-23 03:03:00 PM
How about we put warning labels on stuff, make sure people are educated on the risks of their behavior then just let people cram whatever the f*ck they want into their bodies. Then beat anyone who disagrees with pillowcases filled with padlocks and rusty carpet tacks?
 
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