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(The Atlantic)   Americans need to stop shaking hands because that action passes too much bacteria between parties. The solution? Fist-bumping, which, despite also having skin-to-skin contact, will magically prevent bacteria from jumping hosts   (theatlantic.com) divider line 189
    More: Fail, hospital-acquired infections, behavior change, global strategy, West Virginia University, bacteria, research subject, bacterial culture, Staphylococcus aureus  
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2475 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2013 at 12:04 AM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



189 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-22 11:16:30 PM
After the bird flu panic a few years ago my church put hand sanitizer in each pew. Go and shake hands and/or hug, then wipe out the germs you just picked up.

/don't worry, we think science has a lot of good answers
 
2013-11-22 11:41:06 PM
Thanks, Obama.

cdn.tss.uproxx.com
 
2013-11-23 12:03:22 AM
I dunno. The fist bump doesn't have an equivalent to grasping the other person's hand just a little more firmly than he was expecting. I mean, you could bump harder, but it's not the same thing.
 
2013-11-23 12:06:41 AM
That's still skin-on-skin contact.  What about butt pats?
 
2013-11-23 12:07:37 AM
Knuckles are way cleaner than palms.  Way.
 
2013-11-23 12:09:47 AM

lewismarktwo: Knuckles are way cleaner than palms.  Way.


Especially the palms of your average TFer.
 
2013-11-23 12:11:20 AM
I see people occasionally do elbow bumps. Its really weird, but most of them are fire chiefs and you can say that to them.
 
2013-11-23 12:11:39 AM
Yes, please, limit your exposure to bacteria.  Lower your immune system.  Require more antibiotics when something does breach your defenses.  Profit. We should probably just bow towards each other and wear breathing masks.
 
2013-11-23 12:11:43 AM
Howie Mandell is inconsolable right now
 
2013-11-23 12:11:55 AM
Well, not magic, no.  However touching a drier part of your hand that is less likely to contact your nose or mouth to another person's drier part of his/her hand is less likely to contact that person's nose or mouth and doinng so for a less lengthy length of time means that fewer bacteria will be passed, not that zero bacteria will be passed.
 
2013-11-23 12:13:07 AM
I almost read this, but a pop-up ad said I had to wait 15 seconds, so I didn't.
 
2013-11-23 12:14:39 AM
This does nothing about the people who never wash their hands before leaving the bathroom, who then touches various surfaces where they go. In my office I've seen some gross habits.
 
2013-11-23 12:14:43 AM

trappedspirit: Yes, please, limit your exposure to bacteria.  Lower your immune system.  Require more antibiotics when something does breach your defenses.  Profit. We should probably just bow towards each other and wear breathing masks.


Because limiting exposure means zero, and the proper way to build ones immune system is to drink stagnant water and eat deer shiat.

Get a farking grip.
 
2013-11-23 12:15:03 AM

JasonOfOrillia: That's still skin-on-skin contact.  What about butt pats?


SLAPaaaaaaaasssssssss!

content.clearchannel.com
 
2013-11-23 12:15:19 AM
Andrew Dice Clay, ahead of his time (NSFW).
 
2013-11-23 12:15:48 AM
What about the kiss on the cheek that they give in other countries?

I cannot go three feet in Colombia without having to trade kisses with some broad.
 
2013-11-23 12:16:21 AM
Ashalam Alakheim, my brother. Peace be onto you.
 
2013-11-23 12:16:39 AM

cryinoutloud: Thanks, Obama.

[cdn.tss.uproxx.com image 520x300]


merzybean.files.wordpress.com

Terrorist fist bump!
 
2013-11-23 12:17:50 AM

BSABSVR: trappedspirit: Yes, please, limit your exposure to bacteria.  Lower your immune system.  Require more antibiotics when something does breach your defenses.  Profit. We should probably just bow towards each other and wear breathing masks.

Because limiting exposure means zero, and the proper way to build ones immune system is to drink stagnant water and eat deer shiat.

Get a farking grip.


Stop being reasonable and intelligent.  It is confusing to read comments like yours.
 
2013-11-23 12:18:57 AM
stubbornthoughts.files.wordpress.com

Aint no maybe about it
 
2013-11-23 12:19:10 AM
Hand sanitizer kills germs. Guess what happens next? New germs come and feed on the dead germs. Rinse hanitize repeat. It sells a lot of sanitizer to the gullible, but does the opposite of what you think. Regular handwashing is better.
 
2013-11-23 12:19:10 AM
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-11-23 12:19:22 AM

lewismarktwo: Knuckles are way cleaner than palms.  Way.


Except for the dude at work with really dry hands (hands so dry that the skin starts to crack a bit between the fingers/at the knuckles) that loves to try to pound it with his open knuckle sores.

/fark that guy
 
2013-11-23 12:19:54 AM

antron: [i39.tinypic.com image 437x639]


Why are you posting images of toilet paper. Do you have some kind of sick fetish?
 
2013-11-23 12:20:35 AM
A handshake can tell me a lot about the man I'm shaking hands with. You can't get that from a fist bump.
 
2013-11-23 12:21:05 AM

skinink: This does nothing about the people who never wash their hands before leaving the bathroom, who then touches various surfaces where they go. In my office I've seen some gross habits.


Ditto.
People are gross. They don't wash when they leave the restroom. They slobber all over my pens.
 
2013-11-23 12:25:10 AM

SomeOkieGirl: skinink: This does nothing about the people who never wash their hands before leaving the bathroom, who then touches various surfaces where they go. In my office I've seen some gross habits.

Ditto.
People are gross. They don't wash when they leave the restroom. They slobber all over my penis.


FTFY.
 
2013-11-23 12:25:16 AM

SomeOkieGirl: skinink: This does nothing about the people who never wash their hands before leaving the bathroom, who then touches various surfaces where they go. In my office I've seen some gross habits.

Ditto.
People are gross. They don't wash when they leave the restroom. They slobber all over my pens.


Not true.  I always wash my hands.  Mainly so I can feel superior, but still: I do it.  Also, I only slobbered all over one of your pens and you should really let it go, at this point.
 
2013-11-23 12:26:00 AM
I has a MRSA infection on my balls.  My nutsack swelled up like a playground kickball, all red and dimpled.  The urologist spent 20 minutes expressing pus and blood.  He left me with a Deepwater Horizon hole that I used to squeeze out blood and pus at home, for the next week.

Wash your hands.  Use soap.  Wash for 30 seconds.  Wash before you go to the bathrooom.  Wash after you go to the bathroom.

Get some of this.  Wash your balls once a week.  They'll never itch.  Buttcrack too, if that's your thing.  Wash your armpits and your deodorant bill drops to zero.

www.fallbrookfertilizer.com
 
2013-11-23 12:28:58 AM
Could be worse.

i28.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-23 12:30:07 AM

foo monkey: I has a MRSA infection on my balls.  My nutsack swelled up like a playground kickball, all red and dimpled.  The urologist spent 20 minutes expressing pus and blood.  He left me with a Deepwater Horizon hole that I used to squeeze out blood and pus at home, for the next week.

Wash your hands.  Use soap.  Wash for 30 seconds.  Wash before you go to the bathrooom.  Wash after you go to the bathroom.

Get some of this.  Wash your balls once a week.  They'll never itch.  Buttcrack too, if that's your thing.  Wash your armpits and your deodorant bill drops to zero.

[www.fallbrookfertilizer.com image 300x300]


I'm so sorry.  That's terrible.
 
2013-11-23 12:30:13 AM
How about a nice snappy salute?

www.sabotagetimes.com
 
2013-11-23 12:30:18 AM
Well subby, unlike cats and other animals, we don't wipe our faces with the backs of our hands. So yeah I'd say that's a little better than exchanging palm sweat with the next person. Also, unless you're OCD about germs, probably not washing your hands after that handshake and will probably touch your face at some point first. An imperfect solution, sure, but better than nothing.
 
2013-11-23 12:30:25 AM
I'm sure that our continued attempts to live in a sterilized bubble will have more wonderful side effects on the efficacy of our immune systems.

Really, don't sweat the petty shiat. Getting a cold or a little upset stomach once in awhile is a small price to pay for having a healthy immune system and an ecosystem for germs where the really scare and lethal shiat has to compete for space and resources.
 
2013-11-23 12:31:06 AM

Whatthefark: A handshake can tell me a lot about the man I'm shaking hands with. You can't get that from a fist bump.


People just like to say that. It's not really true.
 
2013-11-23 12:31:37 AM

SomeOkieGirl: skinink: This does nothing about the people who never wash their hands before leaving the bathroom, who then touches various surfaces where they go. In my office I've seen some gross habits.

Ditto.
People are gross. They don't wash when they leave the restroom. They slobber all over my pens.


Half the time they can't even be bothered to flush.
 
2013-11-23 12:32:00 AM

foo monkey: I has a MRSA infection on my balls.  My nutsack swelled up like a playground kickball, all red and dimpled.  The urologist spent 20 minutes expressing pus and blood.  He left me with a Deepwater Horizon hole that I used to squeeze out blood and pus at home, for the next week.

Wash your hands.  Use soap.  Wash for 30 seconds.  Wash before you go to the bathrooom.  Wash after you go to the bathroom.

Get some of this.  Wash your balls once a week.  They'll never itch.  Buttcrack too, if that's your thing.  Wash your armpits and your deodorant bill drops to zero.

[www.fallbrookfertilizer.com image 300x300]


m.cdn.blog.hu
 
2013-11-23 12:32:54 AM

GoldSpider: Half the time they can't even be bothered to flush.


If it's yellow, let it mellow.

If it's brown, flush it down.
 
2013-11-23 12:33:23 AM
The doorknob in the public restroom is far, far dirtier than your hands.
 
2013-11-23 12:34:26 AM
I once had an American Black Islamic woman refuse to shake my hand. She explained that it was against her religion. I presume it involved some morality that involves spiritual contamination, not microbial.

Do Jewish women past some level of orthodoxy also avoid handshakes?
 
2013-11-23 12:34:45 AM
I always liked a simple namaste... respectful, doesn't require bodily contact. if you don't have both hands available, a simple nod can't hurt.
 
2013-11-23 12:36:52 AM

EbolaNYC: Whatthefark: A handshake can tell me a lot about the man I'm shaking hands with. You can't get that from a fist bump.

People just like to say that. It's not really true.


So says Ebola.
 
2013-11-23 12:38:05 AM

Whatthefark: A handshake can tell me a lot about the man I'm shaking hands with. You can't get that from a fist bump.


What's the "a lot" that a handshake tells you?
 
2013-11-23 12:39:32 AM

foo monkey: I has a MRSA infection on my balls.  My nutsack swelled up like a playground kickball, all red and dimpled.  The urologist spent 20 minutes expressing pus and blood.  He left me with a Deepwater Horizon hole that I used to squeeze out blood and pus at home, for the next week.

Wash your hands.  Use soap.  Wash for 30 seconds.  Wash before you go to the bathrooom.  Wash after you go to the bathroom.

Get some of this.  Wash your balls once a week.  They'll never itch.  Buttcrack too, if that's your thing.  Wash your armpits and your deodorant bill drops to zero.

[betadine.jpg]


Welp, time to cleanse the old computer with fire.
 
2013-11-23 12:39:37 AM

maxheck: I always liked a simple namaste... respectful, doesn't require bodily contact. if you don't have both hands available, a simple nod can't hurt.


Also very useful in a country where you wipe your ass with a splash of water and your left hand.
 
2013-11-23 12:39:58 AM

hardinparamedic: GoldSpider: Half the time they can't even be bothered to flush.

If it's yellow, let it mellow.

If it's brown, flush it down.


And then you have to clean the toilet bowl three times as often.
 
2013-11-23 12:41:27 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Whatthefark: A handshake can tell me a lot about the man I'm shaking hands with. You can't get that from a fist bump.

What's the "a lot" that a handshake tells you?


Well, no horseshiat, I do like a person who knows how to shake hands.  It should be a firm grip and authoritative bounce.  Mushy shakes denote an idiot.
 
2013-11-23 12:42:45 AM

ladyfortuna: hardinparamedic: GoldSpider: Half the time they can't even be bothered to flush.

If it's yellow, let it mellow.

If it's brown, flush it down.

And then you have to clean the toilet bowl three times as often.


Agreed, because who cares about water shortages, amirite?!
 
2013-11-23 12:42:46 AM
At least we aren't supposed to swordfight.
 
2013-11-23 12:43:15 AM

murderguy: Mushy shakes denote an idiot.


And hand-crushing shakes denote someone with an inferiority complex.
 
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