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(Nature)   Good news, everyone. Blowjobs cause cancer   (nature.com) divider line 98
    More: Sad, HPV, population study, international organizations, risk profiles, DNA damage, head and neck cancer, oropharyngeal cancers, tobacco smoking  
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13485 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2013 at 7:01 PM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



98 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-22 05:28:14 PM
HPV? Virus?

If only there were some kind of vaccine.
 
2013-11-22 05:44:01 PM
Damn you, Farnsworth.
 
2013-11-22 05:58:20 PM
"Look babe, if I don't jizz all over your face and tits, you could get cancer.
This is the right thing to do."



i1.ytimg.com

"And the--"


"DON'T say it, Brimley.  How the hell did you even get in here?"
 
2013-11-22 06:59:49 PM
In other news, researchers figure "If I ain't gettin' blown, NO ONE IS!"
 
2013-11-22 07:03:12 PM

unlikely: If only there were some kind of vaccine.


What, you mean that slut serum? Ain't no way mah daughter gon' get no slut serum. If she gon' go knockin' boots she gon' suffer like Gawd intended.
 
2013-11-22 07:04:12 PM
So I guess it's out of the question.
 
2013-11-22 07:04:28 PM

thamike: "Look babe, if I don't jizz all over your face and tits, you could get cancer.
This is the right thing to do."




"And the--"


"DON'T say it, Brimley.  How the hell did you even get in here?"


...for the mustache rides?
 
2013-11-22 07:04:52 PM
The young oncologist bumped into the director of the university's cancer centre, who asked politely about her work.
[snip]
The senior doctor stared down at Gillison, not saying a word. "That was the first clue that what I was doing was interesting to others and had potential significance," recalls Gillison.


Sounds more like someone thinking to themselves, "How do I get out of this conversation?"
 
2013-11-22 07:04:59 PM
That article was too long and contained too much science.  So can someone tell me:

For him or her?
 
2013-11-22 07:07:57 PM
sucks to that
 
2013-11-22 07:08:27 PM
Benefits outweigh the risks, IMO.
 
2013-11-22 07:08:33 PM

Shrugging Atlas: That article was too long and contained too much science.  So can someone tell me:

For him or her?


Who cares? I'll take cancer, if that's what it takes.
 
2013-11-22 07:08:37 PM

jjorsett: The senior doctor stared down at Gillison, not saying a word.


maintaining eye contact throughout really is a turn on
 
2013-11-22 07:09:56 PM
So my life expectancy is now 90+.

I guess that is good news. I would like to out live my grandparents.
 
2013-11-22 07:14:23 PM
LIARS!!
 
2013-11-22 07:16:09 PM
Article is short on details, but the last time this came around, it appeared that women were the ones passing HPV to their partners and that men weren't.
 
2013-11-22 07:19:15 PM
Admins, please remove this post. It's an obvious troll from my wife.
 
2013-11-22 07:19:28 PM
Welp, canceling date with the bf tonight...
 
2013-11-22 07:20:33 PM

Shrugging Atlas: That article was too long and contained too much science.  So can someone tell me:

For him or her?


The virus does not discriminate - it causes cancer in any gender, wherever it is.  So you'll see it cause cervical cancer, anal cancer and throat cancer.  It just needs a way in and happens to find the vagina/uterus/cervix after sex an easiest entry route.
 
2013-11-22 07:23:29 PM
Well...fark.
 
2013-11-22 07:25:13 PM
*scans headline*


gifs.gifbin.com
 
2013-11-22 07:28:58 PM
What is the word from Jenny and the antivacs?

What if I told you: HPV can cause genetic defects in a developing fetus?
Like maybe Down's, ADHD, and maybe some late life afflictions.
This is the sort of virus that plays Russian Roulette with your immune system.

Vaccines are so cool.
 
2013-11-22 07:29:00 PM
Vaginal sex cause cancer.
Oral sex cause cancer.
Anyone researched anal sex?
 
2013-11-22 07:30:02 PM

chrylis: Article is short on details, but the last time this came around, it appeared that women were the ones passing HPV to their partners and that men weren't.


Umm, Pandora something, something.
 
2013-11-22 07:30:05 PM
I'm willing to risk it

/her health, not mine of course
 
2013-11-22 07:30:11 PM

I_Am_Weasel: Damn you, Farnsworth.


WERNSTROM!
 
2013-11-22 07:32:22 PM

2BuckChuck: I'm willing to risk it

/her health, not mine of course


Of course you are.
 
2013-11-22 07:32:23 PM

Shrugging Atlas: That article was too long and contained too much science.  So can someone tell me:

For him or her?


The article talks about the cancer beginning in the tonsils. My guess is the suckees picked up HPV someplace and infected the suckers' throats, who then go on to infect new penises, but that's only because it's easier to picture deep throating than that the virions would be carried way down there by saliva alone. But then the spelling of "virion" is about all I really know on the subject; for all I know Kirk Douglas really did get cancer by eating pussy.

And the sexes and genders of the people involved don't seem very germane: this might come as a shock, but guys can suck dick too.
 
2013-11-22 07:32:37 PM

talkertopc: Vaginal sex cause cancer.
Oral sex cause cancer.
Anyone researched anal sex?


Maybe you should ask Farrah Fawcett,,, oh, wait
 
2013-11-22 07:33:54 PM

talkertopc: Vaginal sex cause cancer.
Oral sex cause cancer.
Anyone researched anal sex?


Probably that too.

Hell, after considering all these infectious things out there I'm considering using hand sanitizer for wanking lube.
 
2013-11-22 07:34:29 PM
They've known about a link between HPV and cancer for a long time.  I also understand that HPV is rediculously common, a large portion of the population has it, and the chance of it causing cancer is extremely low.  But still, everybody panic!
 
2013-11-22 07:35:31 PM

brantgoose: So my life expectancy is now 90+.

I guess that is good news. I would like to out live my grandparents.


So not Rob Ford's Fark profile then...
 
2013-11-22 07:36:18 PM
she's a biter
www.nature.com
 
2013-11-22 07:36:54 PM
It's still worth a shot.
 
2013-11-22 07:39:24 PM
Step one: Google
Step two: Image Search
Step three: "coughing"
Step four: Invisible BJ's for everyone!

www.insidershealth.com

douchebagusa.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-11-22 07:40:02 PM
Subby has a very odd definition of "good news"
 
2013-11-22 07:40:19 PM
Somewhere, Ken Cuccinelli is frothing at the mouth and straining at the straps of his straitjacket and screaming, "SEE, YOU FOOLS! I WAS RIGHT!!!"
 
2013-11-22 07:43:42 PM
Guess I can tell my girlfriend the good news, she hasn't a thing to worry about.
 
2013-11-22 07:45:32 PM

talkertopc: Vaginal sex cause cancer.
Oral sex cause cancer.
Anyone researched anal sex?


Ass cancer.
 
2013-11-22 07:45:47 PM
So . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . is anal still OK?


i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-22 07:46:26 PM

WraithSama: They've known about a link between HPV and cancer for a long time.  I also understand that HPV is rediculously common, a large portion of the population has it, and the chance of it causing cancer is extremely low.  But still, everybody panic!


Don't panic.
Get vaccinated.
Especially the kids! This could be gone in one generation. But, Jeebus!
 
2013-11-22 07:47:04 PM

HindiDiscoMonster: Subby has a very odd definition of "good news"


Subby's a girl.  The odd definition is "everyone"
 
2013-11-22 07:53:41 PM

sno man: HindiDiscoMonster: Subby has a very odd definition of "good news"

Subby's a girl.  The odd definition is "everyone"


good point... the last Blowjob in recent memory for me was hurricane Andrew.
 
2013-11-22 07:53:54 PM
So, spit?
 
2013-11-22 07:55:07 PM
sigh

i haven't had one in a long time

she doesn't like "that" and finds it demeaning.

"But it's okay when I stick my head between your thighs, right?"

of course

which is okay too, I guess

harumph
 
2013-11-22 07:55:47 PM

BolshyGreatYarblocks: So, spit?


No, duck.
 
2013-11-22 07:56:08 PM
I read that as, there is an imminent danger of getting head & throat cancer if not for regular blowjobs ... and obviously there aren't enough to go around to keep the numbers down.
 
2013-11-22 07:59:59 PM

Omahawg: sigh

i haven't had one in a long time

she doesn't like "that" and finds it demeaning.

"But it's okay when I stick my head between your thighs, right?"

of course

which is okay too, I guess

harumph


Half a glass is still better than no glass.
 
2013-11-22 08:01:18 PM

divx88: I read that as, there is an imminent danger of getting head & throat cancer if not for regular blowjobs ... and obviously there aren't enough to go around to keep the numbers down.


Yea, this one doesn't work with that "what doesn't kill ya" thingie. Not at all.
 
2013-11-22 08:04:29 PM
I care more about my SO getting prostate and testicular cancer so I make sure to clear the pipe and empty the sack a daily basis.  I use my mouth to ensure that I get everything out.  It's purely medical ;-)
 
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