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(Slate)   "Hey...hey, Gary, it's Tom. Guess...no, shut up. Guess where I'm--NO I SAID GUESS WHERE I'M CALLING FROM. I KNOW YOU CAN'T HEAR ME BECAUSE THE SIGNAL IS WEAK, BUT I'M CALLING YOU FROM THE AIRPLANE"   (slate.com) divider line 14
    More: Stupid, gary, estimates, airplanes, voice calls  
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4502 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2013 at 9:56 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-11-22 10:39:43 AM
4 votes:
I'm a 400-pound flatulent guy who always reclines his seat and carries Knee Defenders to prevent the guy in front of me from reclining, who travels with a baby with inner ear issues, carries two rollerbags aboard every flight that I stow at least 20 rows in front of my seat, and who spends three minutes hanging out in the aisle folding up my sportcoat before I sit down. I hang out as close to the gate as possible during the whole boarding process, even though I'm in Zone 8. And I love talking on my cell phone constantly, even if there's nothing to talk about, but because I can't see the person I'm talking to, I assume I have to talk real loud because they must be far away. So I'm really getting a kick out of this potential new policy. I can't wait to sit next to you.

I am the most annoying man in the world.
2013-11-22 10:41:17 AM
2 votes:

Valiente: And people ask why I prefer sailboats.


This.

I'm sailing to Kansas City next week so I don't have to deal with flying.
2013-11-22 10:04:20 AM
2 votes:
This just in...stock in Bose noise-canceling headphones hits a record high.
2013-11-22 10:04:06 AM
2 votes:
img201.imageshack.us

"NO, IT'S US AIR, IT'S ALL RUBBISH!"
2013-11-22 10:03:27 AM
2 votes:

The Irresponsible Captain: No.

The same rude, inconsiderate, vapid housebeasts that can't hang up while driving or shopping will continue to wiggle their jowls the whole flight.

No.


This.

I swear to god I will just let my kid scream the entire flight if I have to listen to your stupid face having 1/2 of a conversation on the plane.
2013-11-22 09:53:46 AM
2 votes:
Of course, this will require airlines adding some equipment to their planes to enable wireless communication, so we can all look forward to a "wireless communication and entertainment" fee getting added to ticket prices. There will also be the opportunity to pay a little extra to sit in a "silent section," similar to exists on some commuter trains, where talking on a cellphone is not allowed. If you're in one of those sections and find that you do need to make an important call, like maybe to say you're in an airplane or that you're being served lunch, you could elect to pay a one-time "silent section talk fee," where a small amount (say, $10) will give you a 5-minute right to ignore the silent rule. The airlines may also feel the need to implement a "system safety and security monitoring" fee, since there is still some evidence that strong electric signals can interfere with some plane systems and the pilots will need to be extra-vigilant.  But it'll all be worth it, I'm really excited about this.
2013-11-22 02:24:26 PM
1 votes:
You know that endless debate about reclining seats on airplanes? I generally DGAF about it anyway, however any shred of hesitation I may have had out of a random urge to be magnanimous flies out the window (see what I did there?) the moment the guy in the seat behind me says "Hey Bob, guess what? YEAH! ON THE PLANE! Can you believe it?" I won't just recline my seat. I will recline the fark out of it. During mealtimes, too.
2013-11-22 12:00:34 PM
1 votes:
Kenny Tarmac?
2013-11-22 10:22:27 AM
1 votes:
No no no no no no no no NO! I already have to listen to the morans that as SOON as the plane touches down whip out their cellphones and start jabbering away because they can't wait FIVE FARKING MINUTES to get into the terminal. If I have to listen to this shiat for an entire god damn flight I will have to fight my urge to take that cellphone and ram it repeatedly up the user's ass until they bleed, then shove that bloody phone down their throat until they choke while repeatedly kneeing them in the junk/crotch and then watch the light slowly fade from their eyes while my rage subsides and I'm left with a feeling of overwhelming satisfaction at a job well done.
2013-11-22 10:07:48 AM
1 votes:

Mrs.Sharpier: As a parent of one youngin and soon arriving fresh new baby, I am welcoming this newest distraction from children as top annoyances to fliers.

We've complained about the food, leg room, smells, bathrooms, TSA, delays, noise, the under-dressed etc etc ad hoc; forever and ever baby boomer and millennial biatchers.

Fine, biatch about something new!


Screaming Middle Eastern babies with diarrhea and long kicking legs on cell phones!
2013-11-22 10:05:52 AM
1 votes:

TheYeti: The Irresponsible Captain: No.

The same rude, inconsiderate, vapid housebeasts that can't hang up while driving or shopping will continue to wiggle their jowls the whole flight.

No.

This.

I swear to god I will just let my kid scream the entire flight if I have to listen to your stupid face having 1/2 of a conversation on the plane.


I will also no longer hold in any farts.
2013-11-22 10:03:18 AM
1 votes:
This is only a good idea if they also allow weapons.  And immunity if I use them on some dingbat who insists on spending the whole flight yapping about her "female problems" while I'm trying to sleep.
2013-11-22 10:02:51 AM
1 votes:
As a parent of one youngin and soon arriving fresh new baby, I am welcoming this newest distraction from children as top annoyances to fliers.

We've complained about the food, leg room, smells, bathrooms, TSA, delays, noise, the under-dressed etc etc ad hoc; forever and ever baby boomer and millennial biatchers.

Fine, biatch about something new!
2013-11-22 10:00:36 AM
1 votes:
No.

The same rude, inconsiderate, vapid housebeasts that can't hang up while driving or shopping will continue to wiggle their jowls the whole flight.

No.
 
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