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(Slate)   "Hey...hey, Gary, it's Tom. Guess...no, shut up. Guess where I'm--NO I SAID GUESS WHERE I'M CALLING FROM. I KNOW YOU CAN'T HEAR ME BECAUSE THE SIGNAL IS WEAK, BUT I'M CALLING YOU FROM THE AIRPLANE"   (slate.com) divider line 59
    More: Stupid, gary, estimates, airplanes, voice calls  
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4504 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2013 at 9:56 AM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



59 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-22 09:53:46 AM
Of course, this will require airlines adding some equipment to their planes to enable wireless communication, so we can all look forward to a "wireless communication and entertainment" fee getting added to ticket prices. There will also be the opportunity to pay a little extra to sit in a "silent section," similar to exists on some commuter trains, where talking on a cellphone is not allowed. If you're in one of those sections and find that you do need to make an important call, like maybe to say you're in an airplane or that you're being served lunch, you could elect to pay a one-time "silent section talk fee," where a small amount (say, $10) will give you a 5-minute right to ignore the silent rule. The airlines may also feel the need to implement a "system safety and security monitoring" fee, since there is still some evidence that strong electric signals can interfere with some plane systems and the pilots will need to be extra-vigilant.  But it'll all be worth it, I'm really excited about this.
 
2013-11-22 10:00:14 AM
If you can get a signal, is there a reason, this is stupid?
 
2013-11-22 10:00:36 AM
No.

The same rude, inconsiderate, vapid housebeasts that can't hang up while driving or shopping will continue to wiggle their jowls the whole flight.

No.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-11-22 10:00:46 AM
A cell tech explained to me why this was not desirable once.  When going at airplane speeds cell phone cites would be handing off the signal every few seconds.

The next chorus a whines coming from the dumbass mainstream tech press will be about how there are so many dropped calls when using cell phones on airplanes.  Well, no shiat Sherlock.
 
2013-11-22 10:01:12 AM
Can you imagine what it will be like when people start using cellphones on trains and buses?
 
2013-11-22 10:02:51 AM
As a parent of one youngin and soon arriving fresh new baby, I am welcoming this newest distraction from children as top annoyances to fliers.

We've complained about the food, leg room, smells, bathrooms, TSA, delays, noise, the under-dressed etc etc ad hoc; forever and ever baby boomer and millennial biatchers.

Fine, biatch about something new!
 
2013-11-22 10:03:18 AM
This is only a good idea if they also allow weapons.  And immunity if I use them on some dingbat who insists on spending the whole flight yapping about her "female problems" while I'm trying to sleep.
 
2013-11-22 10:03:27 AM

The Irresponsible Captain: No.

The same rude, inconsiderate, vapid housebeasts that can't hang up while driving or shopping will continue to wiggle their jowls the whole flight.

No.


This.

I swear to god I will just let my kid scream the entire flight if I have to listen to your stupid face having 1/2 of a conversation on the plane.
 
2013-11-22 10:04:06 AM
img201.imageshack.us

"NO, IT'S US AIR, IT'S ALL RUBBISH!"
 
2013-11-22 10:04:20 AM
This just in...stock in Bose noise-canceling headphones hits a record high.
 
2013-11-22 10:05:52 AM

TheYeti: The Irresponsible Captain: No.

The same rude, inconsiderate, vapid housebeasts that can't hang up while driving or shopping will continue to wiggle their jowls the whole flight.

No.

This.

I swear to god I will just let my kid scream the entire flight if I have to listen to your stupid face having 1/2 of a conversation on the plane.


I will also no longer hold in any farts.
 
2013-11-22 10:07:48 AM

Mrs.Sharpier: As a parent of one youngin and soon arriving fresh new baby, I am welcoming this newest distraction from children as top annoyances to fliers.

We've complained about the food, leg room, smells, bathrooms, TSA, delays, noise, the under-dressed etc etc ad hoc; forever and ever baby boomer and millennial biatchers.

Fine, biatch about something new!


Screaming Middle Eastern babies with diarrhea and long kicking legs on cell phones!
 
2013-11-22 10:09:43 AM
Ok subby, that headline has me laughing my ass off. Is that from something? It's great stuff either way.
 
2013-11-22 10:10:04 AM
The one place I could get away from work for a few hours.
 
2013-11-22 10:11:38 AM
I wonder how you avoid international roaming fees when you are hitting up a random tower with a new horizon at 10000 feet.  Near any border.

no phone.
 
2013-11-22 10:12:38 AM
Sure.  If it's safe, why not?
Also: Oh God No.  Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up
 
2013-11-22 10:14:36 AM

d23: A cell tech explained to me why this was not desirable once.  When going at airplane speeds cell phone cites would be handing off the signal every few seconds.

The next chorus a whines coming from the dumbass mainstream tech press will be about how there are so many dropped calls when using cell phones on airplanes.  Well, no shiat Sherlock.


Commenting without reading the article? A true Farker!
 
2013-11-22 10:15:49 AM
My flying was not that frequent, 4-6 times a year, and new job means it is probably down to once or twice (regional focus, company car). Flying the last several years has been miserable, so let's just add this to the experience. The resulting fights should be glorious.
 
2013-11-22 10:16:27 AM

d23: A cell tech explained to me why this was not desirable once.  When going at airplane speeds cell phone cites would be handing off the signal every few seconds.

The next chorus a whines coming from the dumbass mainstream tech press will be about how there are so many dropped calls when using cell phones on airplanes.  Well, no shiat Sherlock.


Also, seems to me you'd be inside what amounts to a flying aluminum Faraday cage. Can't drop calls if you can't connect in the first place, etc.

Of course the airlines will simply install repeaters/picocells with an external antenna...

Fark this. If I needed another reason not to fly, this is it.
 
2013-11-22 10:16:34 AM

The Irresponsible Captain: No.

The same rude, inconsiderate, vapid housebeasts that can't hang up while driving or shopping will continue to wiggle their jowls the whole flight.

No.


What he said.

I have been known to talk on my phone a lot, but even I don't want to have cell calls allowed on planes. No one needs to hear about your life, and expecting people not to listen is unrealistic. If they allow wifi, you can email or text your messages that can't wait until landing.

If they want to allow calls, I say they should also make it required that the calls be on speaker phone so we can all take part in the conversation lol.
 
2013-11-22 10:22:27 AM
No no no no no no no no NO! I already have to listen to the morans that as SOON as the plane touches down whip out their cellphones and start jabbering away because they can't wait FIVE FARKING MINUTES to get into the terminal. If I have to listen to this shiat for an entire god damn flight I will have to fight my urge to take that cellphone and ram it repeatedly up the user's ass until they bleed, then shove that bloody phone down their throat until they choke while repeatedly kneeing them in the junk/crotch and then watch the light slowly fade from their eyes while my rage subsides and I'm left with a feeling of overwhelming satisfaction at a job well done.
 
2013-11-22 10:23:33 AM

d23: A cell tech explained to me why this was not desirable once.  When going at airplane speeds cell phone cites would be handing off the signal every few seconds.

The next chorus a whines coming from the dumbass mainstream tech press will be about how there are so many dropped calls when using cell phones on airplanes.  Well, no shiat Sherlock.


Gogo, the in-flight internet system that several airlines use, works with cell towers on the ground. But, this might be stretching the definition of "works".
 
2013-11-22 10:24:02 AM

Mrs.Sharpier: As a parent of one youngin and soon arriving fresh new baby, I am welcoming this newest distraction from children as top annoyances to fliers.

We've complained about the food, leg room, smells, bathrooms, TSA, delays, noise, the under-dressed etc etc ad hoc; forever and ever baby boomer and millennial biatchers.

Fine, biatch about something new!


you haven't had that kid yet?  what's the hold-up, woman?!!!

/oh, this isn't TFD?
 
2013-11-22 10:29:00 AM
Am I the only one that realizes planes are incredible loud, wears headphones, and doesn't really care that much?  Seems like people neeeeeeed to be pissed off about something; anything these days....
 
2013-11-22 10:29:30 AM

stir22: Mrs.Sharpier:

you haven't had that kid yet?  what's the hold-up, woman?!!!

/oh, this isn't TFD?


Nope.

whaa whaa whaa liters don't give a shiat.
 
2013-11-22 10:33:44 AM

hailin: No no no no no no no no NO! I already have to listen to the morans that as SOON as the plane touches down whip out their cellphones and start jabbering away because they can't wait FIVE FARKING MINUTES to get into the terminal. If I have to listen to this shiat for an entire god damn flight I will have to fight my urge to take that cellphone and ram it repeatedly up the user's ass until they bleed, then shove that bloody phone down their throat until they choke while repeatedly kneeing them in the junk/crotch and then watch the light slowly fade from their eyes while my rage subsides and I'm left with a feeling of overwhelming satisfaction at a job well done.


Well, don't sugar coat it.  Tell us how you really feel.
 
2013-11-22 10:34:39 AM
And people ask why I prefer sailboats.
 
2013-11-22 10:36:53 AM
Can't believe all the whining about this.

Look, an airplane is not a social situation.  You aren't there to enjoy the company of those around you.

It's also not an entertainment situation like a movie or a play.  You aren't there to quietly observe what's going on around you.

It is not inappropriate for you to have a conversation on an airplane with someone traveling with you.  It is not inappropriate for you to ignore the people around you.

It is, therefore, not inappropriate for you to have a telephone conversation on an airplane, any more than it would be for you to have a telephone conversation on a crowded sidewalk

Cell phones on planes are going to happen.  Get over it.
 
2013-11-22 10:39:43 AM
I'm a 400-pound flatulent guy who always reclines his seat and carries Knee Defenders to prevent the guy in front of me from reclining, who travels with a baby with inner ear issues, carries two rollerbags aboard every flight that I stow at least 20 rows in front of my seat, and who spends three minutes hanging out in the aisle folding up my sportcoat before I sit down. I hang out as close to the gate as possible during the whole boarding process, even though I'm in Zone 8. And I love talking on my cell phone constantly, even if there's nothing to talk about, but because I can't see the person I'm talking to, I assume I have to talk real loud because they must be far away. So I'm really getting a kick out of this potential new policy. I can't wait to sit next to you.

I am the most annoying man in the world.
 
2013-11-22 10:41:17 AM

Valiente: And people ask why I prefer sailboats.


This.

I'm sailing to Kansas City next week so I don't have to deal with flying.
 
2013-11-22 10:42:13 AM
Ear plugs. Buy them.
 
2013-11-22 10:43:11 AM
As a frequent flyer, this sounds terrible until I remember that I have my headphones on the entire time.

And it's also damn near impossible to get a stable signal at 35,000 feet.
 
2013-11-22 11:01:37 AM
We've had cell phones on busses for decades now. I don't understand why people think things will be so much different on planes.
 
2013-11-22 11:10:18 AM

d23: A cell tech explained to me why this was not desirable once.  When going at airplane speeds cell phone cites would be handing off the signal every few seconds.


And only voice carriers would think that is a problem. It's not like there's some technician running around with patch cables to move the call between base stations -- it's a few control messages down a wire to coordinate switching at a device with no other purpose. You don't see Cisco complaining when WiFi devices only a spend a few seconds on an AP before switching to another one.

Some of the inter-station coordination algorithms assume that you can only hand off to a direct neighbor station (which IMHO is a bad assumption even without service to planes) but that's a design choice, not a limitation of the technology.

And all of that is irrelevant here, because the proposal is to allow planes to provide their own cellular service that's ground-linked in aggregate (and presumably not via the usual cellular base stations).
 
2013-11-22 11:13:18 AM
I'll just buy stock in ear plugs and when someone around me starts talking on their cell phone I'll hand them out to everyone around me.  That or turn on a white noise generator.
 
2013-11-22 11:16:12 AM
 
2013-11-22 11:25:02 AM
I had this exact conversation going on in my head when I heard the news, subby.  Only difference is it would go on much, much longer:

"Guess where I'm calling from? Noooooo, guess again!  Nope, guess again!  Still wrong, guess again!"

/ad nauseam
 
2013-11-22 11:36:40 AM
I can hear you
Just barely hear you
I can just barely hear you

Guess where I am?
I'm calling from the plane
I'll call you when I get there
 
2013-11-22 11:48:56 AM
Just what flying needed. Another thing to make the experience even more unpleasant.

I am looking forward to the inevitable "air passenger attacks man for talking on phone/telling him to stop talking so loud on the phone" stories.

So there's the silver lining, I guess.
 
2013-11-22 11:54:19 AM

Pocket Ninja: There will also be the opportunity to pay a little extra to sit in a "silent section,"


But this can be offset by the discount for agreeing to sit in the "silent but violent section"
 
2013-11-22 12:00:34 PM
Kenny Tarmac?
 
2013-11-22 12:00:51 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Just what flying needed. Another thing to make the experience even more unpleasant.

I am looking forward to the inevitable "air passenger attacks man for talking on phone/telling him to stop talking so loud on the phone" stories.

So there's the silver lining, I guess.


Ideally, this will be one passenger on a phone attacking another on a phone.

"Hey asshole, stop being so loud on your phone! I'm trying to have a conversation on my phone over here!!"
 
2013-11-22 12:10:27 PM

IC Stars: Smelly Pirate Hooker: Just what flying needed. Another thing to make the experience even more unpleasant.

I am looking forward to the inevitable "air passenger attacks man for talking on phone/telling him to stop talking so loud on the phone" stories.

So there's the silver lining, I guess.

Ideally, this will be one passenger on a phone attacking another on a phone.

"Hey asshole, stop being so loud on your phone! I'm trying to have a conversation on my phone over here!!"


i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-11-22 12:30:52 PM
Ear plugs / Noise canceling headphones don't work when you are sitting right next to the guy the subby was brilliantly referring to in the headline. This is the same guy who will undoubtedly talk very very loudly the whole flight about getting new wheels on his Porsche or BMWs , his vacation in Cabo,  the hot models he is dating.   I have been next to these people in the Gym with blasting music in my headphones and you can still hear them.
 
2013-11-22 12:31:47 PM
I'm pretty sure the FAA has a say in this matter, anyone know their position?
 
2013-11-22 12:41:18 PM

Dog Welder: [img201.imageshack.us image 289x217]

"NO, IT'S US AIR, IT'S ALL RUBBISH!"


Came for the giant cellphone guy. Leaving satisfied.
 
kth
2013-11-22 12:46:21 PM
On the one hand, they'll stop trying to talk to me. On the other hand, they're going to be talking to someone.

Why can't we just all shut the hell up, read our books/magazines and not be social for a few hours.

My last flight, I had an entire row to myself, it was glorious.
 
2013-11-22 01:18:39 PM

queezyweezel: Am I the only one that realizes planes are incredible loud, wears headphones, and doesn't really care that much?  Seems like people neeeeeeed to be pissed off about something; anything these days....


No. My first reaction to hearing about call on aircraft is to think "Oh look, something else I won't hear. Neat." and my second is amusement at the impotent rage of the people who think any time in the presence of other people should be spent sitting on your hands with your mouth shut.

/I want to believe 90% Farkers aren't basement dwelling social rejects, but the wailing and gnashing of teeth every time they interact with other people in meatspace really makes me wonder.
 
2013-11-22 01:28:39 PM
I would be okay with this if not for the fact that when talking on a cell, nobody has an inside voice.
 
2013-11-22 01:46:36 PM

dabbletech: I would be okay with this if not for the fact that when talking on a cell, nobody has an inside voice.


According to Noticeably FAT, if it doesn't bother him, it shouldn't bother you.

Problem solved.
 
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