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(Fox 2 St. Louis)   Boring news: single vehicle accident causes major traffic jam. FARK: driver was distracted by fireworks inside the vehicle   (fox2now.com) divider line 15
    More: Dumbass, SUV, St. Louis, single vehicle accident, traffic jams, bus drivers, bottle rockets, vehicle accident  
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1934 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2013 at 3:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



15 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-11-21 10:21:25 PM  
When I lived in Tucson (1999), I was tasked to drive our group to Waffle House one night. We were all tripping on mushrooms, but I was the only one not drinking. Why not, I thought. Let's go. We hopped in my friend's Ford Explorer (five of us) and took off. The drive back was going fine, until we were a block from the house we all started out. That's when my friend, the owner of the vehicle (and in the front passenger seat), decided to light a string of black cats and throw them out the window. Which wasn't down all the way.

After the smoke and noise stopped, I just looked at him and with my best straight face, I said, "don't ever do that again". It was all I could do to not laugh, seeing as how they landed in his crotch. I was more worried about getting busted more than anything. Especially a block from home.

/csb
//crazy shroom bag?
 
2013-11-21 10:51:47 PM  

Clint_Torres: When I lived in Tucson (1999), I was tasked to drive our group to Waffle House one night. We were all tripping on mushrooms, but I was the only one not drinking. Why not, I thought. Let's go. We hopped in my friend's Ford Explorer (five of us) and took off. The drive back was going fine, until we were a block from the house we all started out. That's when my friend, the owner of the vehicle (and in the front passenger seat), decided to light a string of black cats and throw them out the window. Which wasn't down all the way.

After the smoke and noise stopped, I just looked at him and with my best straight face, I said, "don't ever do that again". It was all I could do to not laugh, seeing as how they landed in his crotch. I was more worried about getting busted more than anything. Especially a block from home.



Waffle House ✓
'shrooms ✓
Fireworks ✓

CSB, indeed.
 
2013-11-22 03:54:35 AM  
St. Louis may be a shiathole full of dumbfarks, but damned if they don't have some damn fine pizza.
 
2013-11-22 04:14:10 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: St. Louis may be a shiathole full of dumbfarks, but damned if they don't have some damn fine pizza.


Don't start one of those threads.
 
2013-11-22 06:57:03 AM  
Wasn't there a video of a bunch of guys throwing firecrackers at people when all hell breaks loose inside the car?
 
2013-11-22 07:17:01 AM  
www.urbandigs.com
 
2013-11-22 07:47:58 AM  

Clint_Torres: When I lived in Tucson (1999), I was tasked to drive our group to Waffle House one night. We were all tripping on mushrooms, but I was the only one not drinking. Why not, I thought. Let's go. We hopped in my friend's Ford Explorer (five of us) and took off. The drive back was going fine, until we were a block from the house we all started out. That's when my friend, the owner of the vehicle (and in the front passenger seat), decided to light a string of black cats and throw them out the window. Which wasn't down all the way.

After the smoke and noise stopped, I just looked at him and with my best straight face, I said, "don't ever do that again". It was all I could do to not laugh, seeing as how they landed in his crotch. I was more worried about getting busted more than anything. Especially a block from home.

/csb
//crazy shroom bag?


This story is almost perfect but for the exclusion of shouts of "LAWD JESUS!"
 
2013-11-22 08:06:39 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: St. Louis may be a shiathole full of dumbfarks, but damned if they don't have some damn fine pizza.


Not all of STL is a shiathole - though we def have a few choice selections in that vein. Concur in the dumbfarks. However your pizza assertion is specious at best.

I commute up 270 every day. Sat in that mess for over 50 minutes Wednesday. Happens every time: By the time I get to where the "incidents" occurred, they're cleaned up and leave you wondering: WTF was that? No blood or body parts? MoDOT's digital message boards are useless in this regard too - mostly they just say "MoDOT Cares".

Fireworks in the car - lmao. Driver and passengers likely from Jefferson County...
 
2013-11-22 08:16:33 AM  
Was it these guys?
 
2013-11-22 08:49:34 AM  
There was a thread a few days ago asking about single vehicle traffic jams. . .
 
2013-11-22 08:52:36 AM  
So, a golf trip to Myrtle Beach?  Fireworks in the van, fireworks off the balcony, fireworks in the condo, fireworks in the bathroom, . . . etc.
 
2013-11-22 09:54:59 AM  

Clint_Torres: When I lived in Tucson (1999), I was tasked to drive our group to Waffle House one night. We were all tripping on mushrooms, but I was the only one not drinking. Why not, I thought. Let's go. We hopped in my friend's Ford Explorer (five of us) and took off. The drive back was going fine, until we were a block from the house we all started out. That's when my friend, the owner of the vehicle (and in the front passenger seat), decided to light a string of black cats and throw them out the window. Which wasn't down all the way.

After the smoke and noise stopped, I just looked at him and with my best straight face, I said, "don't ever do that again". It was all I could do to not laugh, seeing as how they landed in his crotch. I was more worried about getting busted more than anything. Especially a block from home.

/csb
//crazy shroom bag?


I don't know what your friend looks like, but I'm really enjoying the mental image of what that must have looked like.
 
2013-11-22 10:40:44 AM  
Well?  Someone had to post it.
img.fark.net
 
2013-11-22 01:48:41 PM  

Famous Thamas: Clint_Torres: When I lived in Tucson (1999), I was tasked to drive our group to Waffle House one night. We were all tripping on mushrooms, but I was the only one not drinking. Why not, I thought. Let's go. We hopped in my friend's Ford Explorer (five of us) and took off. The drive back was going fine, until we were a block from the house we all started out. That's when my friend, the owner of the vehicle (and in the front passenger seat), decided to light a string of black cats and throw them out the window. Which wasn't down all the way.

After the smoke and noise stopped, I just looked at him and with my best straight face, I said, "don't ever do that again". It was all I could do to not laugh, seeing as how they landed in his crotch. I was more worried about getting busted more than anything. Especially a block from home.

/csb
//crazy shroom bag?

I don't know what your friend looks like, but I'm really enjoying the mental image of what that must have looked like.


He escaped uninjured. He managed to brush them off onto the floor. He is like me, half Missourian by birth (not by choice) so he is predisposed to liking fireworks, even more so when alcohol is involved. This is just more proof that (some) bad decisions make good stories.

What makes me laugh, remembering this incident, is just sitting in the middle of Campbell (this was probably at 2 or 3am), staring in his direction, waiting for the smoke to clear so he could see the disapproving look on my face. We laugh about it now, of course.
 
2013-11-22 02:08:06 PM  
This reminds me of a funny story...

My buddy and I were riding in the car.  He was tapping the metal one-hitter bat on the lighter to clean it out.  He tapped one too many times, and the lighter exploded!  It didn't make any sort of fire.  Just a big puffball of frozen gas that existed for a microsecond, and the lighter was pretty much gone.

We were laughing so hard, I nearly crashed the car!
 
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