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(Time)   Dumbass suspended for snorting smarties   (newsfeed.time.com) divider line 44
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3472 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2013 at 9:49 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-21 08:11:37 AM
I can't imagine the pain of trying to snort one of these
farm4.static.flickr.com
The candy shell would hurt like a biatch
 
2013-11-21 09:51:27 AM
At least he wasn't smarting snorties.

/got nuthin
 
2013-11-21 09:53:39 AM

Dumbass suspended for snorting smarties


cdn.ebaumsworld.com
 
2013-11-21 09:54:02 AM
They used to snort tubes of pixy stix when I was in kindergarten in the '70s, and no one cared.
 
2013-11-21 09:54:51 AM

Unoriginal_Username: I can't imagine the pain of trying to snort one of these
[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x375]
The candy shell would hurt like a biatch


In the US, Smarties are disc-shaped and made of compressed powder, like big, flat prescription pills.
 
2013-11-21 09:56:32 AM
FTFA: In some cases, the powder can even attract maggots to feed on whatever sugar dust remains in the nostrils.
i284.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-21 09:57:10 AM
Examiner  warns readers that sniffing Smarties can lead to "infections, chronic coughing, choking, recurring infections, scarring, asthma, bleeding and even death."

Oh. so some of the normal side effects of your run of the mill Rx antidepressants every teacher, and parent is on.
 
2013-11-21 10:00:10 AM

phalamir: Unoriginal_Username: I can't imagine the pain of trying to snort one of these
[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x375]
The candy shell would hurt like a biatch

In the US, Smarties are disc-shaped and made of compressed powder, like big, flat prescription pills


I know, but like I tell my wife, they are smarties in name only. I have my mom ship down Canadian smarties a few times a year, though we can get imported ones from Britain at Publix.

What you call smarties, we call Rockets
 
2013-11-21 10:00:21 AM
Color changing fun dip off a bus seat.  That is all.
 
2013-11-21 10:01:13 AM
Freebasing gummy worms. Now that's hardcore.
 
2013-11-21 10:01:18 AM

Lee Jackson Beauregard: FTFA: In some cases, the powder can even attract maggots to feed on whatever sugar dust remains in the nostrils.



Yeah, I'm hoping that's just to scare the kids.  Right?
 
2013-11-21 10:02:35 AM
FTA: No word on whether or not he sniffed the Smarties through a Twizzler.

Because doing coke is HILARIOUS
 
2013-11-21 10:11:20 AM
It can also give you a case of candy ass.

got nothin'

/subby
//so i got that going for me
///slashies are nice
 
2013-11-21 10:17:12 AM

Unoriginal_Username: phalamir: Unoriginal_Username: I can't imagine the pain of trying to snort one of these
[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x375]
The candy shell would hurt like a biatch

In the US, Smarties are disc-shaped and made of compressed powder, like big, flat prescription pills

I know, but like I tell my wife, they are smarties in name only. I have my mom ship down Canadian smarties a few times a year, though we can get imported ones from Britain at Publix.

What you call smarties, we call Rockets


In the UK we call them Refreshers
 
2013-11-21 10:17:38 AM
ZERO TOLERANCE!!

/hey, look... nothing.
 
2013-11-21 10:20:48 AM

Unoriginal_Username: I can't imagine the pain of trying to snort one of these

The candy shell would hurt like a biatch


the article shows rockets candy

/Canada brofist
 
2013-11-21 10:23:49 AM
What a dumb way to do it.  Everyone knows you can get the same sugar high by sticking them up your ass without that pesky nasal drip.
 
2013-11-21 10:28:56 AM
He shall be hung by the NECCO until dead.
 
2013-11-21 10:29:49 AM
More like Dumbass suspends student for snorting smarties.

Zero tolerance is for people with zero intelligence.
 
2013-11-21 10:30:16 AM
Red kool-aid. Cherry was best.

It's freakin' hilarious when whomever has done it blows their nose in class later.
 
2013-11-21 10:34:53 AM

carrion_luggage: He shall be hung by the NECCO until dead.


Nice
 
2013-11-21 10:38:33 AM
something something nose candy...
 
2013-11-21 10:38:48 AM

Zeb Hesselgresser: Lee Jackson Beauregard: FTFA: In some cases, the powder can even attract maggots to feed on whatever sugar dust remains in the nostrils.


Yeah, I'm hoping that's just to scare the kids.  Right?


first time i have heard that maggots eat sugar. how many of us kept an open jar of sugar on the table for years and never saw a fly land on it ???
flys would have to be attracted to it to lay eggs
maggots don't move around much
 
2013-11-21 10:41:32 AM
Reminds me of a movie where a character snorted Jello, but I can't recall what movie and character.  I do remember it was the same actor who played Dudley Dawson/Booger in Revenge Of The Nerds
 
2013-11-21 10:44:35 AM
You learn something new every day...

orgjunkie.com

/Canuck
 
2013-11-21 10:46:25 AM
It's a gateway to snorting Sweet Tarts, once you're hooked on that, it's over man, it's over.
 
2013-11-21 10:52:51 AM
Don't laugh.  It hurts.  Or at least it did in 1983.
 
2013-11-21 11:24:34 AM
Kids, you shouldn't snort Smarties
Why?
Because people snort cocaine.
What's cocaine?
It's a drug that changes the way you feel when you snort it.
How does cocaine change me?
It creates a happy effect, gives you energy, and makes you more mentally alert
You're right, teacher.  I shouldn't snort Smarties.  I should snort cocaine!
 
2013-11-21 11:27:41 AM

From the History of Smarties


There are four kinds of chocolate:  eating chocolate, drinking chocolate, baking chocolate, and smoking chocolate, which is also sometimes taken nasally as "snuff" or "Smarties" because they made your nose smart when you crushed them and huffed them.

Let's watch a little educational film:

[haunting native American music plays, scene changes to an Aztec pyramid]

The history of chocolate begins with the ancient Aztecs.

[see a hand holding an `Ah Fudge' candy bar]

In those days, instead of being wrapped in a hygienic package, chocolate was wrapped in a tobacco leaf.

[candy bar changes to a coiled tobacco leaf]
And instead of being pure chocolate, like we have today, it was mixed with shredded tobacco.

[pull back to see a smiling Aztec fellow holding the cigar-shaped tobacco leaf]

And they didn't eat it, they smoked it!

[Aztec lights it, takes a puff, and smiles broadly]


-- Educational film at the chocolate factory, ``Bart the Murderer''
 
2013-11-21 11:38:55 AM
The dumbass in this video, "smoking" Smarties, should probably find a better use for his dictionary than as a Smarties preparation surface.
 
2013-11-21 12:04:40 PM
Back when I was in high school, I knew a kid who asked, "Dare me to snort this?". I said, "Of course!" and he then proceeded to snort some crushed rockets. That's my strongest memory of him. I just shared this story with him on FB.
 
2013-11-21 12:05:27 PM
So... did it work?  Is he smarter now?
 
2013-11-21 12:05:28 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Freebasing gummy worms. Now that's hardcore.


Bro, you ain't lived until you've spent 3 days straight hopped up on Chuckles.

alizarine.typepad.com
 
2013-11-21 12:13:50 PM
I picture your typical school official as The Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland yelling "OFF WITH HIS HEAD" at every opportunity.
 
2013-11-21 12:23:06 PM
Smarties are much more effective when boofed.
 
2013-11-21 12:49:00 PM

MadMonk: It's a gateway to snorting Sweet Tarts, once you're hooked on that, it's over man, it's over.


Then you go on shooting spree
 
2013-11-21 12:52:39 PM
In eighth grade the smart-but-really-weird kid shoved Spree up his nose for attention.

The table cleared out when he started farmer-blowing rainbow-colored snot.
 
2013-11-21 03:55:28 PM
I went to high school with a kid that snorted jello through a straw during lunch. The principal laughed his ass off when he saw it.
 
2013-11-21 04:10:08 PM

Pinko_Commie: Unoriginal_Username: phalamir: Unoriginal_Username: I can't imagine the pain of trying to snort one of these
[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x375]
The candy shell would hurt like a biatch

In the US, Smarties are disc-shaped and made of compressed powder, like big, flat prescription pills

I know, but like I tell my wife, they are smarties in name only. I have my mom ship down Canadian smarties a few times a year, though we can get imported ones from Britain at Publix.

What you call smarties, we call Rockets

In the UK we call them Refreshers



i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-21 04:16:14 PM

fickenchucker: In eighth grade the smart-but-really-weird kid shoved Spree up his nose for attention.

The table cleared out when he started farmer-blowing rainbow-colored snot.



You mean like snot-rockets?

/Full circle
 
2013-11-21 04:27:54 PM

Wrath of Heaven: fickenchucker: In eighth grade the smart-but-really-weird kid shoved Spree up his nose for attention.

The table cleared out when he started farmer-blowing rainbow-colored snot.


You mean like snot-rockets?

/Full circle


http://www.runnersworld.com/fun/mastering-farmers-blow
 
2013-11-21 05:26:52 PM

Red_Fox: You learn something new every day...

[orgjunkie.com image 400x300]

/Canuck


Slight CSB time:
In Anaheim back in '08, the nephew tried to order a Smarties McFlurry.  Counter lady had NO idea what he was talking about.  Nephew proceeded to say "smarties" slower.  Yeah, that didn't help.  Up until then, we both thought Canada & the US shared the same kind of candy, but then found out that M&Ms rule the US.
 
2013-11-21 07:06:40 PM
My friends and I did this as freshmen in high school.  There were two problems: 1. We didn't crush the candy enough and the shards caused nose bleeds; 2. Instant sugar rush followed swiftly by blinding headache.  Good times.
 
2013-11-22 05:29:11 AM
Did he snort the red ones last?
 
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