If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(BBC)   A handful of nuts daily, when taken when plenty of exercise and a healthy diet, reduced chance of death by 20%. But let's credit the nuts cause it's newsier   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 27
    More: Interesting, British Heart Foundation, Education Foundation, healthy diet, cancer mortality rates, coronary heart disease, National Institutes of Health, Adyar Cancer Institute, New England Journal of Medicine  
•       •       •

280 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 Nov 2013 at 9:33 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-21 08:56:00 AM  
Um...everyone's chance for death is 100%.

And yeah, methinks the exercise and diet changes had a lot more to do with weight loss than putting nuts in your mouth.
 
2013-11-21 09:19:08 AM  
The idea that some foods are better for you than others is a complete sham propagated by Big Nutrition. It all comes down to your glandular metabolism and how big your bones are. Exercise is pointless too because it doesn't make you immortal.
 
2013-11-21 09:44:50 AM  
A handful of nuts daily, when taken when plenty of exercise and a healthy diet, reduced chance of death by 20%. But let's credit the nuts cause it's newsier fun to make testicle jokes
 
2013-11-21 09:45:23 AM  
i1353.photobucket.com
 
2013-11-21 09:51:44 AM  

sigdiamond2000: The idea that some foods are better for you than others is a complete sham propagated by Big Nutrition. It all comes down to your glandular metabolism and how big your bones are. Exercise is pointless too because it doesn't make you immortal.


This... this is sarcasm, right?
 
2013-11-21 10:08:03 AM  

AntonChigger: sigdiamond2000: The idea that some foods are better for you than others is a complete sham propagated by Big Nutrition. It all comes down to your glandular metabolism and how big your bones are. Exercise is pointless too because it doesn't make you immortal.

This... this is sarcasm, right?


Hah, I know. Given how...passionate...paleo and Atkins and other 'magic meal' people are it's hard to know anymore. That's pushing aside the actual fatasses who say/think that.

/fatass
//works out, eats like shiat, fatass who can't run, looks like a sack of shiat, but can lift moderate loads
 
2013-11-21 10:17:44 AM  
I don't care I'm not eating republicans for any reason
 
2013-11-21 10:19:55 AM  

kroonermanblack: Hah, I know. Given how...passionate...paleo and Atkins and other 'magic meal' people are it's hard to know anymore. That's pushing aside the actual fatasses who say/think that.

/fatass
//works out, eats like shiat, fatass who can't run, looks like a sack of shiat, but can lift moderate loads


What's funny is that, even though "glandular metabolism" is just made-up gibberish, if you search for it you actually start to come up with some search results touting exactly the type of crap he's mocking.

Fad dieters have actually become a parody of themselves.
 
2013-11-21 10:20:19 AM  
and for the Ladies, a handful of nuts will reduce the chance of a early libido death by 50%.
 
2013-11-21 10:21:27 AM  

SurfaceTension: Um...everyone's chance for death is 100%.

And yeah, methinks the exercise and diet changes had a lot more to do with weight loss than putting nuts in your mouth.



the Grim Reaper has everyone's nuts in the palm of his hand.  even chics.
 
2013-11-21 10:22:07 AM  

sigdiamond2000: The idea that some foods are better for you than others is a complete sham propagated by Big Nutrition. It all comes down to your glandular metabolism and how big your bones are. Exercise is pointless too because it doesn't make you immortal.



yea, Eat shiat!!   50 Trillion flies can't be wrong.
 
2013-11-21 10:26:17 AM  
Are dey chin nuts?
 
Juc
2013-11-21 10:35:12 AM  
So if I eat nuts and exercise a lot I'll only have an 80% chance to die?
Sweeeeeeeeet.
 
2013-11-21 10:38:14 AM  
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the article didn't actually say *which* nuts. The picture was of almonds, but did they include not-actually-nuts like peanuts in the list? Cashews? Walnuts?

I'm not being sarcastic, I'm genuinely curious. I'm also curious if things like almond milk count toward the nut intake.
 
2013-11-21 10:41:36 AM  

kroonermanblack: AntonChigger: sigdiamond2000: The idea that some foods are better for you than others is a complete sham propagated by Big Nutrition. It all comes down to your glandular metabolism and how big your bones are. Exercise is pointless too because it doesn't make you immortal.

This... this is sarcasm, right?

Hah, I know. Given how...passionate...paleo and Atkins and other 'magic meal' people are it's hard to know anymore. That's pushing aside the actual fatasses who say/think that.

/fatass
//works out, eats like shiat, fatass who can't run, looks like a sack of shiat, but can lift moderate loads


Not taking his side because, before today, I'd never heard of "glandular metabolism."  However, I will say that metabolism IS the thing. I eat like shiat for the most part too (although in the past few years I've cut out table salt, soda except when mixed with spirits, red meat and deep fried foods) and I work out 0-3 times per week.

My workouts and eating habits are generally geared toward increasing my metabolism. Do the right workout and eat the right things at the right time and you can increase the number of calories you burn when resting or doing normal activities. Plus working out just makes you feel better. I'm no nut, but I've lost almost 40 lbs this year while toning and building muscle. Finally starting to get looks from the type of women you want to get looks from. That's been awhile. LOL
 
2013-11-21 10:42:06 AM  

Lord Dimwit: Correct me if I'm wrong, but the article didn't actually say *which* nuts. The picture was of almonds, but did they include not-actually-nuts like peanuts in the list? Cashews? Walnuts?

I'm not being sarcastic, I'm genuinely curious. I'm also curious if things like almond milk count toward the nut intake.


The news story I saw about this yesterday said it could be any kind of nut, including the non-nut peanut. Obviously some nuts are more nutritious than others, and you have to take preparation into account (honey roasted, while delicious, is probably not what they're talking about), but I guess eat what you like. I almost always have a bag of pecans or pistachios around the house for snacking, or macadamia nuts if I find them cheap.
 
2013-11-21 11:07:17 AM  

SurfaceTension: Do the right workout and eat the right things at the right time and you can increase the number of calories you burn when resting or doing normal activities.


That's just called "exercising", though, there's no special trick to it. Get your heart rate up and do exercises to build muscle and that's the result over time. There's no real "right workout" or "right thing to eat".

If you want to tweak it to maximize the result you can always hire a nutritionist and a trainer to tailor something to you, sure. But, unless you're an athlete, what's the point?
 
2013-11-21 11:11:58 AM  
Amazingly, the study consisted entirely of people with nut allergies.

Those epipens are great for weight loss and will increase your cardio.
 
2013-11-21 11:14:22 AM  
Why can't we come up with a food like substance that you can eat that has no gastric activity that will just pass right through you? You know without explosive expulsions.
 
2013-11-21 11:19:16 AM  

skozlaw: SurfaceTension: Do the right workout and eat the right things at the right time and you can increase the number of calories you burn when resting or doing normal activities.

That's just called "exercising", though, there's no special trick to it. Get your heart rate up and do exercises to build muscle and that's the result over time. There's no real "right workout" or "right thing to eat".

If you want to tweak it to maximize the result you can always hire a nutritionist and a trainer to tailor something to you, sure. But, unless you're an athlete, what's the point?


Yeah, no I didn't mean anything prescriptive about exercising. By "right" I mean interval training that integrates both cardio and weight lifting (light weights over a lot of reps tends to be recommended for everyone except body-builders).

My ex-wife used to think walking the dog was a form of exercise. It's not. Going to the gym and lifting max weight every time without any cardio IS exercise, but not the type you want to do when trying to lose weight.
 
2013-11-21 11:27:24 AM  

Tricky Chicken: Why can't we come up with a food like substance that you can eat that has no gastric activity that will just pass right through you? You know without explosive expulsions.


Then you can rinse it off and eat it again...
 
2013-11-21 12:01:32 PM  

SurfaceTension: kroonermanblack: AntonChigger: sigdiamond2000: The idea that some foods are better for you than others is a complete sham propagated by Big Nutrition. It all comes down to your glandular metabolism and how big your bones are. Exercise is pointless too because it doesn't make you immortal.

This... this is sarcasm, right?

Hah, I know. Given how...passionate...paleo and Atkins and other 'magic meal' people are it's hard to know anymore. That's pushing aside the actual fatasses who say/think that.

/fatass
//works out, eats like shiat, fatass who can't run, looks like a sack of shiat, but can lift moderate loads

Not taking his side because, before today, I'd never heard of "glandular metabolism."  However, I will say that metabolism IS the thing. I eat like shiat for the most part too (although in the past few years I've cut out table salt, soda except when mixed with spirits, red meat and deep fried foods) and I work out 0-3 times per week.

My workouts and eating habits are generally geared toward increasing my metabolism. Do the right workout and eat the right things at the right time and you can increase the number of calories you burn when resting or doing normal activities. Plus working out just makes you feel better. I'm no nut, but I've lost almost 40 lbs this year while toning and building muscle. Finally starting to get looks from the type of women you want to get looks from. That's been awhile. LOL


Dude, you cut out a ton of empty calories, hamburgers, and French fries, as well as a plethora of other terrible things to eat.

Your body isn't an ancient Egyptian tomb puzzle. It's not a time sensitive input for the most part. You put good, whole, healthy, foods in, mimicking what our evolutionary track had, and you add exercise, you get lean.

You probably also replaced that junk food with healthy calories in fresh fruit and vegetables.

That's the secret. Fresh vegetables, good meat, a little fruit, and little to no bread/pasta/rice, no sugar, etc.
 
2013-11-21 12:09:49 PM  

Linux_Yes: and for the Ladies, a handful mouthful of warm nuts will reduce the chance of a early libido death by 50%.


ftfy
 
2013-11-21 12:39:12 PM  
I love that the image in the article shows a woman holding what has to be FIVE SERVINGS of almonds...
 
2013-11-21 01:00:57 PM  

kroonermanblack: SurfaceTension: kroonermanblack: AntonChigger: sigdiamond2000: The idea that some foods are better for you than others is a complete sham propagated by Big Nutrition. It all comes down to your glandular metabolism and how big your bones are. Exercise is pointless too because it doesn't make you immortal.

This... this is sarcasm, right?

Hah, I know. Given how...passionate...paleo and Atkins and other 'magic meal' people are it's hard to know anymore. That's pushing aside the actual fatasses who say/think that.

/fatass
//works out, eats like shiat, fatass who can't run, looks like a sack of shiat, but can lift moderate loads

Not taking his side because, before today, I'd never heard of "glandular metabolism."  However, I will say that metabolism IS the thing. I eat like shiat for the most part too (although in the past few years I've cut out table salt, soda except when mixed with spirits, red meat and deep fried foods) and I work out 0-3 times per week.

My workouts and eating habits are generally geared toward increasing my metabolism. Do the right workout and eat the right things at the right time and you can increase the number of calories you burn when resting or doing normal activities. Plus working out just makes you feel better. I'm no nut, but I've lost almost 40 lbs this year while toning and building muscle. Finally starting to get looks from the type of women you want to get looks from. That's been awhile. LOL

Dude, you cut out a ton of empty calories, hamburgers, and French fries, as well as a plethora of other terrible things to eat.

Your body isn't an ancient Egyptian tomb puzzle. It's not a time sensitive input for the most part. You put good, whole, healthy, foods in, mimicking what our evolutionary track had, and you add exercise, you get lean.

You probably also replaced that junk food with healthy calories in fresh fruit and vegetables.

That's the secret. Fresh vegetables, good meat, a little fruit, and little to no bread/pasta/rice, no suga ...


Yeah, I've been doing my best to cut out just those things. Outside of a small amount of brown rice (about half what they normally put in) in my fajita bowl (the burrito wraps are 300 empty calories) from Chipotle, I don't eat much rice, and I can't remember the last pasta I had either. Bread and other complex carbs aren't gone yet. That's my goal for next summer to cut those out for good. I'm also learning the enjoyment of a good fruit smoothie (mixed with almond milk! yum yum!).
 
2013-11-21 01:06:05 PM  
Agrees.  Ate 30 of them and has never felt better!

img856.imageshack.us
 
2013-11-22 12:49:14 AM  
Subby. You disappoint. You disappoint so, so hard.

The minute I heard this story on the news, I couldn't WAIT to read the Fark headline. I wrote a half dozen myself but by the time I was near a computer I figured it had already been done.

THIS is what you came up with? Good lord, man, you were working with HOTY material here! And you threw it all away!

You fool!
 
Displayed 27 of 27 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report