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(Foodbeast)   These candles smell like fried chicken, because 'Merica   (foodbeast.com) divider line 36
    More: Amusing, Merica, fried chickens  
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2428 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2013 at 11:49 PM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-11-20 10:00:03 PM
What's wrong with that? Give me a whiskey candle and I can finally jerk off like the good lord intended.
 
2013-11-20 10:48:10 PM
Well, to be fair, Mom's fried chicken kinda smelled like bayberry, so there is symmetry

/I think it was the gin
 
2013-11-20 11:52:49 PM
They just took waste oil from KFC and made candles, didn't they?
 
2013-11-20 11:53:53 PM
fta only 25 candles will be available for purchase online

DIAF!!!!!!11!!
 
2013-11-20 11:55:40 PM
Psh, Fried Eagle candles are what our forefathers would have wanted...
 
2013-11-20 11:57:03 PM

hervatski: What's wrong with that? Give me a whiskey candle and I can finally jerk off like the good lord intended.


Still pissed off about that pomegranate thread huh?
 
2013-11-20 11:58:03 PM

farkingismybusiness: hervatski: What's wrong with that? Give me a whiskey candle and I can finally jerk off like the good lord intended.

Still pissed off about that pomegranate thread huh?


Is it that hard to have truth in advertising!?!?!
 
2013-11-20 11:59:10 PM
Kentucky Derby, vanilla-bourbon and mint aromas

Wouldn't the smell of horse poop be more appropriate?
 
2013-11-21 12:08:50 AM
I'll just leave this right here and back out of the room:

farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2013-11-21 12:15:45 AM
How is this not racist?
 
2013-11-21 12:16:36 AM

fusillade762: Kentucky Derby, vanilla-bourbon and mint aromas

Wouldn't the smell of horse poop be more appropriate?


How about thousands of raving, stumbling drunks, getting angrier and angrier as
they lose more and more money. By midafternoon they'll be guzzling
mint juleps with both hands and vomitting on each other between races.
 
2013-11-21 12:18:07 AM
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts
With my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!
 
2013-11-21 12:20:10 AM
I've always been partial to vanilla. But I'm a dude. A fried chicken candle? Yeah, I'd get down on that.

hervatski: Give me a whiskey candle and I can finally jerk off like the good lord intended.


Damn right! Man, a whiskey candle would be awesome.
 
2013-11-21 12:27:42 AM

HawgWild: I've always been partial to vanilla. But I'm a dude. A fried chicken candle? Yeah, I'd get down on that.

hervatski: Give me a whiskey candle and I can finally jerk off like the good lord intended.

Damn right! Man, a whiskey candle would be awesome.


Pipe smoke. I'm not saying you should smoke a pipe, but if you have chest hair and enjoy whiskey's aroma, you should go to your nearest tobacconist and tell them you want your house to smell like a man lives there. On your way home, buy a dark green leather wingback chair.
 
2013-11-21 12:28:18 AM
www.startupmuse.com
It's a nice novelty but I'm out
 
2013-11-21 12:36:47 AM

Notabunny: HawgWild: I've always been partial to vanilla. But I'm a dude. A fried chicken candle? Yeah, I'd get down on that.

hervatski: Give me a whiskey candle and I can finally jerk off like the good lord intended.

Damn right! Man, a whiskey candle would be awesome.

Pipe smoke. I'm not saying you should smoke a pipe, but if you have chest hair and enjoy whiskey's aroma, you should go to your nearest tobacconist and tell them you want your house to smell like a man lives there. On your way home, buy a dark green leather wingback chair.


And some extra-large slippers.
 
2013-11-21 12:38:29 AM

Notabunny: HawgWild: I've always been partial to vanilla. But I'm a dude. A fried chicken candle? Yeah, I'd get down on that.

hervatski: Give me a whiskey candle and I can finally jerk off like the good lord intended.

Damn right! Man, a whiskey candle would be awesome.

Pipe smoke. I'm not saying you should smoke a pipe, but if you have chest hair and enjoy whiskey's aroma, you should go to your nearest tobacconist and tell them you want your house to smell like a man lives there. On your way home, buy a dark green leather wingback chair.


I've smoked a pipe. But my house smells like burned fire wood. Don't have the green leather wingback chair, though. I have dark brown leather couches, and the ends of said couches are recliners. And behind the big couch? Yeah, a wet bar. With a mini-fridge, several whiskeys, orange flavored vodka (for the ladies), tequila and other stuff to make margaritas, a blender, espresso maker and a coffee maker (which makes K-cups too).

Do I win yet? If not, how do I win?

/there is wine, also
//but only because my friend leaves it here
///real beer in the mini-fridge
 
2013-11-21 12:39:31 AM
You if worked for a local company that was looking for ideas to 'hook' guys for father's day. I'm still bummed they didn't take me up on my idea for cordite scented Candles in a shotgun shaped jar...
 
2013-11-21 12:40:28 AM
Oh, and Jager. But no stupid Red Bull. Jager needs nothing.

/Root beer and Jager shots are good, though
//and I have root beer
 
2013-11-21 12:47:59 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: How is this not racist?


Wait -- what are you implying?

That black folks might like scented candles, to cover up the funny way they smell?

Because that's racist.

/asshole
 
2013-11-21 12:52:32 AM

HawgWild: Notabunny: HawgWild: I've always been partial to vanilla. But I'm a dude. A fried chicken candle? Yeah, I'd get down on that.

hervatski: Give me a whiskey candle and I can finally jerk off like the good lord intended.

Damn right! Man, a whiskey candle would be awesome.

Pipe smoke. I'm not saying you should smoke a pipe, but if you have chest hair and enjoy whiskey's aroma, you should go to your nearest tobacconist and tell them you want your house to smell like a man lives there. On your way home, buy a dark green leather wingback chair.

I've smoked a pipe. But my house smells like burned fire wood. Don't have the green leather wingback chair, though. I have dark brown leather couches, and the ends of said couches are recliners. And behind the big couch? Yeah, a wet bar. With a mini-fridge, several whiskeys, orange flavored vodka (for the ladies), tequila and other stuff to make margaritas, a blender, espresso maker and a coffee maker (which makes K-cups too).

Do I win yet? If not, how do I win?

/there is wine, also
//but only because my friend leaves it here
///real beer in the mini-fridge


Really? Well, yes, you win.
 
2013-11-21 12:58:44 AM
img.fark.net
Click for more delicious scents. (This page okay, but other parts of this tumblr are NSFW!)
 
2013-11-21 01:25:53 AM

Notabunny: Well, yes, you win.


I usually do. But that's because I'm a bulldog and an egomaniac ...
 
2013-11-21 02:41:36 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: How is this not racist?


Do you think watermelon Jolly Ranchers are racist?
 
2013-11-21 03:37:18 AM

fusillade762: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: How is this not racist?

Do you think watermelon Jolly Ranchers are racist?


No....but they don't taste much like watermelon, either...
 
2013-11-21 04:04:08 AM
Why not just light fried chicken legs on fire? They have enough grease, they'd probably burn like candles.
 
2013-11-21 04:25:17 AM
i'm too drunk to smell this chicken candle
 
2013-11-21 04:47:35 AM
doblelol.com
 
2013-11-21 06:00:58 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: How is this not racist?


Why the hell would it be racist?
 
2013-11-21 06:17:20 AM

Notabunny: HawgWild: I've always been partial to vanilla. But I'm a dude. A fried chicken candle? Yeah, I'd get down on that.

hervatski: Give me a whiskey candle and I can finally jerk off like the good lord intended.

Damn right! Man, a whiskey candle would be awesome.

Pipe smoke. I'm not saying you should smoke a pipe, but if you have chest hair and enjoy whiskey's aroma, you should go to your nearest tobacconist and tell them you want your house to smell like a man lives there. On your way home, buy a dark green leather wingback chair.


There is a unisexish cologne/perfume from Naoimi Goodsir that smells like woodsmoke, tobacco and sex. It is a frenchy name that translates to Suede. I get samples of it from surrender to Chance.


You are welcome.
 
2013-11-21 07:57:36 AM
Doesn't everybody fry their chicken in wax?
 
2013-11-21 08:16:09 AM
Dammit Drew.

You need to buy one of these and one of these (see below)

media.lunch.com

and give them away as a prize for Black History Month.

Hell, find someone who makes a Olde English 800 scented candle and you have the ultimate set.

Before you say this is racist, white boys will be first in line to by them hoping the aromatherapy will make their catcus bigger.

There is an untapped market here.
 
2013-11-21 10:26:41 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: How is this not racist?



The candle is white.
 
2013-11-21 11:00:53 AM

twiztedjustin: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: How is this not racist?


The candle is white.


So was Colonel Sanders
 
2013-11-21 01:23:42 PM
This is a real candle. I have smelled it. It almost made me vomit.

I'm sure my dog would have loved it, though.

assets.nydailynews.com
 
2013-11-21 08:17:36 PM

HawgWild: Notabunny: Well, yes, you win.

I usually do. But that's because I'm a bulldog and an egomaniac ...


I'll bet your house does smell like a man cave, 'cause ain't no toxic fart like a bulldog's toxic fart.
 
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