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(MLive.com)   Turns out you still can't cure alcoholism with a haircut   (mlive.com) divider line 62
    More: Followup, Grand Rapids Press  
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7915 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2013 at 7:20 PM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-20 05:46:41 PM
It cured his poverty, homelessness, and probable mental disorders though, right? So at least now he only has the alcoholism left. Yay, gimmicky internet stunts!
 
2013-11-20 06:20:46 PM
My drunk-ass barber sterilizes his combs in a big glass of UV Blue.
 
2013-11-20 06:36:04 PM
The haircut can't hurt
 
2013-11-20 06:37:28 PM
Who doesn't want to rage at a burger king? Does it take that long to NOT put 47 ounces of mayo on my burger?!
 
2013-11-20 06:41:24 PM
I blame this on the blowjob industrial complex. Until BJs are devalued to the point where they don't earn someone a quick ten bucks these homeless people will continue to suck off people to score drugs and alcohol.
 
2013-11-20 06:45:27 PM
Well, maybe he should go live with Glenn Beck? Isn't he his pet project?
 
2013-11-20 07:24:50 PM
There's only one way to cure alcoholism.
upload.wikimedia.org

/IT'S A DISEASE, STAN!!!
 
2013-11-20 07:27:06 PM
On the other hand, if he was drunk at the time then I'm sure they would have slapped him with public drunkenness too, and his eyes in his mugshot don't look bloodshot or blurry or anything.

So, maybe he is still sober.
 
2013-11-20 07:28:40 PM

kimwim: Well, maybe he should go live with Glenn Beck? Isn't he his pet project?


Living with Glenn Beck would be enough to make anybody drink.
 
2013-11-20 07:28:48 PM

MayoSlather: I blame this on the blowjob industrial complex. Until BJs are devalued to the point where they don't earn someone a quick ten bucks these homeless people will continue to suck off people to score drugs and alcohol.


So, you got one for a 40 and a bump of meth?
 
2013-11-20 07:29:50 PM
But you can still get stinking drunk to forget a hair cut, right?
 
2013-11-20 07:32:31 PM
Thank God.  Now I can go get a haircut this weekend without having to worry about that.
 
2013-11-20 07:32:38 PM
Relapse is a part of recovery.
 
2013-11-20 07:35:16 PM
Well ever since I have been sportin' this godly flowing shoulder length mullet I have been banned from every bar in town so just maybe ....
 
2013-11-20 07:36:33 PM
That's too bad. Like that paint huffer guy with the gold face who can't seem to work it out.
 
2013-11-20 07:37:02 PM
Even after the makeover, the poor guy still looks like he has some city miles on him. A hard life does that to people.
 
2013-11-20 07:37:11 PM

Xythero: Relapse is a part of recovery.

Always helps to know where the bottom is.
 
2013-11-20 07:43:08 PM
www.trainingandprevention.com
 
2013-11-20 07:44:53 PM
He was charged with trespassing and creating a disturbance.

So this guy can gets a trespassing charge but the tools who left no tip and a nasty note on their receipt because they didn't like their lesbian waitress get a "By law we cannot stop them from coming back to eat here"?
 
2013-11-20 07:46:35 PM

fusillade762: He was charged with trespassing and creating a disturbance.

So this guy can gets a trespassing charge but the tools who left no tip and a nasty note on their receipt because they didn't like their lesbian waitress get a "By law we cannot stop them from coming back to eat here"?


Hopefully, they also get spitburgers.
 
2013-11-20 07:46:44 PM
"The video shows an unkempt Wolf transform into a sharp-dressed, clean-shaven middle-aged man."

sharing.koin.com

*InigoMontoya.jpg*
 
2013-11-20 07:48:32 PM
It can, however, take away your super strength
 
2013-11-20 07:49:08 PM
You know - I once got this new haircut and my alcoholism started immediately afterwards. It was a number 2 on the back and sides and a 4 on top. Tapered.

Since obviosuly this single anecdote  proves that a haircut can cause alcoholism, surely an different haircut can cure it?
 
2013-11-20 07:51:46 PM
images.contactmusic.com
 
2013-11-20 07:52:27 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-11-20 07:54:03 PM

The_Original_Roxtar: "The video shows an unkempt Wolf transform into a sharp-dressed, clean-shaven middle-aged man."

[sharing.koin.com image 640x364]

*InigoMontoya.jpg*


The after picture looks like Gov. Ultrasound.

/probably better to stick with the unkempt look
//seriously, hope he gets the help he needs
 
2013-11-20 07:54:47 PM
Thus, of course, the solution is to not help anyone and let people die in the street.
 
2013-11-20 07:54:49 PM
That's because they gave him a buzz cut.
 
2013-11-20 07:57:01 PM

berylman: Well ever since I have been sportin' this godly flowing shoulder length mullet I have been banned from every bar in town so just maybe ....


fandomania.com

/what a guy
// hot like Ace
/// stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas
 
2013-11-20 07:58:57 PM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-11-20 07:59:34 PM
Delilah tried, but Sampson didn't want to be an upstanding pillar so he pulled them down.
 
2013-11-20 08:05:37 PM
I wish someone would have told me that before I wasted my drinking money on a haircut
 
2013-11-20 08:07:16 PM
I'm an attorney. Not a very good one. But I try.

I helped a homeless guy, alcoholic, has mental issues, but he's charming enough in his own way. I cleaned up his criminal history and he was able to pass a background check and get into one of those government funded retirment homes (his social security and disability status, not to mention his poverty qualified him).

Three months now, and while he hasn't been sober, he also hasn't been barking at the moon.  He's passed two inspections he tells me. He has a cellphone now. He's doing well enough that he's trying to help out another homeless old man get in as well.

Somehow, he tells me that he was able to talk the manager into allowing him to have a room-mate until a space opens up.

Did I mention that he's fairly charming in his own way?

This is the guy that PAWNED MY FARKING TOOLS that I loaned him to fix up his beat up old hearse(!) that he drives. Told me where he had taken them and gave me the pawn ticket. Cost me 20 bucks, and the pawnshop guy thought it was the funniest thing ever.

Anyway, there's an old minor charge (ethics probably prevent me from specifying) from when he was still on the street. I'm going to try and fight that on Monday. I didn't clean this guy's record up so he could get into a place just to have his record besmirched now. I'm going to try and stay ahead of the curve and head off trouble before it starts with him.

Here's a video I shot so that the local bleeding heart liberal hippie occupy folks could put their money where their mouth is, that I posted a link to and invited everyone to a housewarming party for him at the free-range open-source fair-trade pizza parlor. Only a couple of people showed up with a gift card.  http://youtu.be/0Dhe1SCmu7Q

He tells me that when he dies I can have his hearse. Joy.

/CSB?
 
2013-11-20 08:08:15 PM
The before image does prove that alcoholism CAN cure a haircut.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-11-20 08:13:17 PM
I would normally just not post on this type of thread, as I cannot find wit nor whim that makes me smile when I see things like this.
But honestly, all the "welcometofark.jpg' and snark aside I find it truly sad that so many vets find their way to these ends.
We are doing something wrong, somewhere along the way.

/have a sad, pardon my solemnity
 
2013-11-20 08:25:28 PM

wambu: [i.imgur.com image 400x300]


weknowmemes.com
 
2013-11-20 08:36:18 PM
I'm trying to look up what his job was in the Army. My Google-fu is not strong tonight. Has anyone else seen a report that indicated that?
 
2013-11-20 08:37:19 PM

gja: We are doing something wrong, somewhere along the way.


At some point people noticed the conditions for people in mental health asylums were inhumane. So, instead of fixing the conditions, they closed down the asylums and turfed all the people who needed them out onto the streets.
 What is done is done. The left is happy because the "evil asylums" are closed down. The right is happy because no-one has to pay to run the asylums. So nothing is going to change - cept for diseases like TB making resurgences because of the existance of such a large group of vulnerable people being great vectors.
 
2013-11-20 08:40:30 PM
Sometimes i don't think the few people who can have a beer or two now and then with no problem balance out the number of lives that are ruined or ended by alcohol.
 
2013-11-20 08:40:31 PM

Goodluckfox: I'm an attorney. Not a very good one. But I try.

I helped a homeless guy, alcoholic, has mental issues, but he's charming enough in his own way. I cleaned up his criminal history and he was able to pass a background check and get into one of those government funded retirment homes (his social security and disability status, not to mention his poverty qualified him).

Three months now, and while he hasn't been sober, he also hasn't been barking at the moon.  He's passed two inspections he tells me. He has a cellphone now. He's doing well enough that he's trying to help out another homeless old man get in as well.

Somehow, he tells me that he was able to talk the manager into allowing him to have a room-mate until a space opens up.

Did I mention that he's fairly charming in his own way?

This is the guy that PAWNED MY FARKING TOOLS that I loaned him to fix up his beat up old hearse(!) that he drives. Told me where he had taken them and gave me the pawn ticket. Cost me 20 bucks, and the pawnshop guy thought it was the funniest thing ever.

Anyway, there's an old minor charge (ethics probably prevent me from specifying) from when he was still on the street. I'm going to try and fight that on Monday. I didn't clean this guy's record up so he could get into a place just to have his record besmirched now. I'm going to try and stay ahead of the curve and head off trouble before it starts with him.

Here's a video I shot so that the local bleeding heart liberal hippie occupy folks could put their money where their mouth is, that I posted a link to and invited everyone to a housewarming party for him at the free-range open-source fair-trade pizza parlor. Only a couple of people showed up with a gift card.  http://youtu.be/0Dhe1SCmu7Q

He tells me that when he dies I can have his hearse. Joy.

/CSB?


Unsolicited advice: back away slowly.... You've done your good here, no need to keep throwing good deeds in one after another. Some folks have to hit "bottom" 4,5,6 times before they commit to change, themselves. The major recovery doesn't happen until the person takes responsibility for the effort.

Some interventions come "too soon" and certain responsibilities for change have to come from within, he may not be there yet, just some experience from a life dealing with friends and family members who've gone through the process.

Somewhere the fact that someone tried, has registered within him, and it will matter when he's finally ready, so there's that.
 
2013-11-20 08:43:37 PM

farkingismybusiness: wambu: [i.imgur.com image 400x300]

[weknowmemes.com image 550x375]


Somebody is getting some sexy time shortly . . .
 
2013-11-20 08:50:11 PM
I had to cut a bunch of my hair off once when I got too close to a fire when I was drunk. Didn't work, I kept drinking for another five years or so.
 
2013-11-20 08:51:03 PM

J. Frank Parnell: Sometimes i don't think the few people who can have a beer or two now and then with no problem balance out the number of lives that are ruined or ended by alcohol.


I don't think your realise who the "few" are and who the "majority" are. Here we call your type "Wowsers".

'Wowser: an ineffably pious person who mistakes this world for a penitentiary and himself for a warder'. CJ Dennis

Maybe if some of the money taxed on alcohol because it can cause problems, was actually used to address those problems, then alcoholics would have the treatment and help they need?
 
2013-11-20 08:51:43 PM

corq: Unsolicited advice: back away slowly


Why? It's only cost him 20 bucks and some time. He's doing good stuff.

Just be sure you don't loan him anything else overnight.
 
2013-11-20 08:55:45 PM
...
Scruffy man once served his country somehow or other.

Heroic hairstylist performs angelic act of mercy, touching the man's shaggy locks with admirable aplomb.

Heroic man magnanimously dresses the bedraggled, unworthy soul in a sharp suit.

No mere "before and after" photos could do justice to this subject.

We need time-lapse video, with inspirational soundtrack and textual cutaways.

Sadly, the recipient of such grand charity fails to benefit.

Raising up the lower classes is a thankless job, but a worthy task nonetheless, if only to benefit the giver's soul.
 
2013-11-20 08:57:11 PM
I took all sorts of grief for posting a snarky comment on someone's FB link to that vid saying that his deep emotional issues and physical addiction would 'surely be cured by a haircut and a spiffy suit'.

It's not like I don't hope for the man to turn it around; I was just offended that this ministry group cleaned him up and patted themselves on the back with an internet circle jerk like they had miraculously cured him of his demons with a 2 bit makeover.
 
2013-11-20 08:59:06 PM

angryviking: I'm trying to look up what his job was in the Army. My Google-fu is not strong tonight. Has anyone else seen a report that indicated that?

At 54 now, he most likely would have been in under Carter or Reagan's first term. Not very scary times.

 
2013-11-20 09:11:49 PM

Goodluckfox: I'm an attorney. Not a very good one. But I try.

I helped a homeless guy, alcoholic, has mental issues, but he's charming enough in his own way. I cleaned up his criminal history and he was able to pass a background check and get into one of those government funded retirment homes (his social security and disability status, not to mention his poverty qualified him).

Three months now, and while he hasn't been sober, he also hasn't been barking at the moon.  He's passed two inspections he tells me. He has a cellphone now. He's doing well enough that he's trying to help out another homeless old man get in as well.

Somehow, he tells me that he was able to talk the manager into allowing him to have a room-mate until a space opens up.

Did I mention that he's fairly charming in his own way?

This is the guy that PAWNED MY FARKING TOOLS that I loaned him to fix up his beat up old hearse(!) that he drives. Told me where he had taken them and gave me the pawn ticket. Cost me 20 bucks, and the pawnshop guy thought it was the funniest thing ever.

Anyway, there's an old minor charge (ethics probably prevent me from specifying) from when he was still on the street. I'm going to try and fight that on Monday. I didn't clean this guy's record up so he could get into a place just to have his record besmirched now. I'm going to try and stay ahead of the curve and head off trouble before it starts with him.

Here's a video I shot so that the local bleeding heart liberal hippie occupy folks could put their money where their mouth is, that I posted a link to and invited everyone to a housewarming party for him at the free-range open-source fair-trade pizza parlor. Only a couple of people showed up with a gift card.  http://youtu.be/0Dhe1SCmu7Q

He tells me that when he dies I can have his hearse. Joy.

/CSB?


waycool man
 
2013-11-20 09:15:13 PM

Cygnus God of Balance: I took all sorts of grief for posting a snarky comment on someone's FB link to that vid saying that his deep emotional issues and physical addiction would 'surely be cured by a haircut and a spiffy suit'.

It's not like I don't hope for the man to turn it around; I was just offended that this ministry group cleaned him up and patted themselves on the back with an internet circle jerk like they had miraculously cured him of his demons with a 2 bit makeover.


Especially since he could get a perfectly good job without the full makeover.
With a baseball cap and a beard trim, he would fit right in at a warehouse or construction site.
Their 'after' pic looks more like screenshot from "When Fundies Attack"
 
2013-11-20 09:22:53 PM

cryinoutloud: I had to cut a bunch of my hair off once when I got too close to a fire when I was drunk. Didn't work, I kept drinking for another five years or so.


Did you ever get the fire put out?
 
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