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(Foodbeast)   Here's how to de-seed a pomegranate, like a pervert. You'll only need three seconds   (foodbeast.com) divider line 90
    More: Amusing, pomegranates  
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19877 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2013 at 6:48 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-20 05:41:32 PM
I hope all the juice in the bowl is because of the previous attempts or something, because that's nowhere near "unharmed". I just put them in a bowl with water and peel around the kernels.
 
2013-11-20 06:31:02 PM
www.hollywoodchicago.com
 
2013-11-20 06:34:15 PM
How is that like a pervert? You hit it. Thats it. I thought he was going to fark the thing. Now I'm pantsless and cold this is bullshiat.
 
2013-11-20 06:51:20 PM
Learned this years ago in Korea, still don't like them but can eat it.
 
2013-11-20 06:53:05 PM
Pomagranates are a pain in the ass.
 
2013-11-20 06:54:57 PM

bearded clamorer: www.hollywoodchicago.com


+1

hervatski: How is that like a pervert? You hit it. Thats it. I thought he was going to fark the thing. Now I'm pantsless and cold this is bullshiat.


See the image above you. Dobro je!
 
2013-11-20 06:55:08 PM
Pomegranate, one of those foods where the taste doesn't scale properly with the difficulty of eating it.

// Just give me a guava instead, the skin is edible, the seeds are too small and soft to be a bother, and it tastes better than a pomegranate.

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-11-20 06:55:23 PM

foo monkey: Pomagranates are a pain in the ass.



This.

Bananas are much more pleasurable.
 
2013-11-20 06:55:24 PM

bearded clamorer: [www.hollywoodchicago.com image 365x345]


FTW! I'll get the lights.

Also, if it only takes 3 seconds, why is the video 47?
 
2013-11-20 06:55:47 PM
Who didn't already know this?
 
2013-11-20 06:56:26 PM
Who needs a basket-hilted spatula? Nothing is so rare that it can fight back.
 
2013-11-20 06:57:33 PM

RogermcAllen: Who didn't already know this?


People who look at those in the supermarket, see that it is a well-known pain in the ass fruit, and walk on by.
 
2013-11-20 06:59:41 PM
But I like pomegranates.
 
2013-11-20 07:01:41 PM

GungFu: foo monkey: Pomagranates are a pain in the ass.


This.

Bananas are much more pleasurable.


I like a good watermelon. Oh wait...nevermind...
 
2013-11-20 07:01:46 PM

lordargent: Pomegranate, one of those foods where the taste doesn't scale properly with the difficulty of eating it.

// Just give me a guava instead, the skin is edible, the seeds are too small and soft to be a bother, and it tastes better than a pomegranate.

[imgs.xkcd.com image 676x584]


Oranges are hard to peel? Wat?

Also too much guava will give you "stuck ass".
 
2013-11-20 07:04:57 PM
Whatever how-to video you are making

I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE

DO NOT SHOW YOUR FACE

IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH YOU

STUPID FRUIT KISSER

Thank you
 
2013-11-20 07:05:37 PM
I had an internship in Austin where a pomegranate tree grew in the courtyard. I used to take one every Friday and fark the shiat out of it.
 
2013-11-20 07:06:10 PM

fatassbastard: bearded clamorer: www.hollywoodchicago.com

+1

hervatski: How is that like a pervert? You hit it. Thats it. I thought he was going to fark the thing. Now I'm pantsless and cold this is bullshiat.

See the image above you. Dobro je!


Lol Hvala!
 
2013-11-20 07:08:35 PM

RogermcAllen: Who didn't already know this?


my wife and I just learned this a couple days ago. and we have been eating pomegranates or whole lives.

if it would work on blue crabs I would die a happy man.
 
2013-11-20 07:10:37 PM

foo monkey: Pomagranates are a pain in the ass.


Use plenty of pomegranate lube before inserting pomegranate.

www.castlemegastore.com
 
2013-11-20 07:10:39 PM
That's not perverted. How I eat watermelon is perverted.
/Ladies....
 
2013-11-20 07:11:12 PM

TrollingForColumbine: RogermcAllen: Who didn't already know this?

my wife and I just learned this a couple days ago. and we have been eating pomegranates or whole lives.

if it would work on blue crabs I would die a happy man.


Hit them harder with something bigger. Watch a Gallagher video for inspiration.
 
2013-11-20 07:14:42 PM
That's a good way if you want to be stained red for the rest of the day and eat your fruit with a spoon.
HERE is how it's done, kids.
 
2013-11-20 07:18:17 PM
For some reason it reminds me how a former friend would "prepare" mango.

She'd peel it, then squeeze the flesh off of it until she had a nice pile of mango mush.
 
2013-11-20 07:19:15 PM
This isn't exactly deseeding because you are left with a pile of arils still containing seeds but without the rest of the fruit.  I would be more impressed with a mechanical method of just getting the pure tasty red stuff easily.  Strainer and a centrifuge? Fruit bat minions?
 
2013-11-20 07:20:07 PM

BATMANATEE: That's a good way if you want to be stained red for the rest of the day and eat your fruit with a spoon.
HERE is how it's done, kids.


That's pretty good.
 
2013-11-20 07:20:13 PM

lordargent: Pomegranate, one of those foods where the taste doesn't scale properly with the difficulty of eating it.

// Just give me a guava instead, the skin is edible, the seeds are too small and soft to be a bother, and it tastes better than a pomegranate.

[imgs.xkcd.com image 676x584]


That graph is woefully unreliable.  It has grapes tasting better than watermelon, pears better than oranges, peaches better than pineapples, its Bedlam!
 
2013-11-20 07:20:29 PM

BATMANATEE: That's a good way if you want to be stained red for the rest of the day and eat your fruit with a spoon.
HERE is how it's done, kids.


Cut it out, now. Fark isn't supposed to be so damned helpful.

Seriously, great advice, BATMANATEE. Thanks.
 
2013-11-20 07:21:31 PM

meat0918: For some reason it reminds me how a former friend would "prepare" mango.

She'd peel it, then squeeze the flesh off of it until she had a nice pile of mango mush.


Mango should be peeled and then sliced off.
 
2013-11-20 07:21:48 PM
lohphat: Oranges are hard to peel? Wat?

There are many varieties of oranges, and on some, the skin is on there like crazy glue.

// and most of those types are sour anyway so why bother
 
2013-11-20 07:22:51 PM
Louisiana_Sitar_Club: That graph is woefully unreliable. It has grapes tasting better than watermelon, pears better than oranges, peaches better than pineapples, its Bedlam!

I prefer grapes to watermelon.
I prefer pears to oranges.
But pineapple wins.
 
2013-11-20 07:28:02 PM

JoieD'Zen: meat0918: For some reason it reminds me how a former friend would "prepare" mango.

She'd peel it, then squeeze the flesh off of it until she had a nice pile of mango mush.

Mango should be peeled and then sliced off.


What barbarism is this? Mangos should be cut, and then if necessary the flesh can be scooped out (or, if you're alone, just eat the flesh straight off the peel).
 
2013-11-20 07:29:14 PM

TrollingForColumbine: RogermcAllen: Who didn't already know this?

my wife and I just learned this a couple days ago. and we have been eating pomegranates or whole lives.

if it would work on blue crabs I would die a happy man.


Or Craw/crayfish, lobsters, deer, chicken...oh hell food is hard.
 
2013-11-20 07:30:59 PM

TheSopwithTurtle: Mangos should be cut, and then if necessary the flesh can be scooped out (or, if you're alone, just eat the flesh straight off the peel).


Cut the mango and peel off one side, down the side of the pit.
Score the flesh in 2 directions.
Bend the peel back and you'll have little mango cubes you can bite off the peel.
 
2013-11-20 07:31:49 PM

oldwolf49: Learned this years ago in Korea, still don't like them but can eat it.


Pomegranates or Koreans?
 
2013-11-20 07:33:40 PM
What a coincidence, that's how I deseed subby's mom when I forget to use a condom.
 
2013-11-20 07:33:43 PM

TheSopwithTurtle: JoieD'Zen: meat0918: For some reason it reminds me how a former friend would "prepare" mango.

She'd peel it, then squeeze the flesh off of it until she had a nice pile of mango mush.

Mango should be peeled and then sliced off.

What barbarism is this? Mangos should be cut, and then if necessary the flesh can be scooped out (or, if you're alone, just eat the flesh straight off the peel).


That leaves squishy mango pulp in your hand and on the seed. I can see this will be an issue with you.

/sigh
 
2013-11-20 07:34:06 PM

lordargent: I prefer grapes to watermelon.
I prefer pears to oranges.


Good lord!  You're mad as a hatter!
 
2013-11-20 07:34:24 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Who needs a basket-hilted spatula? Nothing is so rare that it can fight back.


People that can't keep their knuckles off the grill?
 
2013-11-20 07:40:14 PM
Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Good lord! You're mad as a hatter!

I don't care for sour foods much, and sweetest orange doesn't hold a candle to the sweetest pear.

// tangerines over pears though

TheSopwithTurtle: What barbarism is this? Mangos should be cut, and then if necessary the flesh can be scooped out (or, if you're alone, just eat the flesh straight off the peel).

I'm from the Caribbean, I squeeze and mush mangoes until they're soft in the skin, then I bite a hole in the skin and drink all of the juices vampire style.

Then I peel off strips of skin and scrape the mango off of that.

// or, sometimes I cut them
 
2013-11-20 07:43:26 PM
Step by step instructions:

1)  Score around the middle with a knife, then twist in half.
2)  Open up the edges of a half a little, just to loosen the seeds.
3)  Whack the back of a half with something like a wooden spoon and the seeds fall out.  There will be a little pulp with them that you pick out.

Alternatively, if you just want the juice, you can juice them like an orange with a spinning juicer head.  Then you strain the juice.

If you want to make something delicious with pomegranate juice, make grenadine.

Get a quart of juice, either from pomegranates, or from Knudsen or POM pure juice, unsweetened.  Cook it down to half its volume, then add a jar of red currant jam.  Cook for a few minutes, then strain, squeezing the currents to get out any last flavor.  Bottle with a tablespoon of vodak or Everclear as preservative.

The stuff is delicious in mixed drinks, lemonade, over vanilla ice cream, drizzled on strong cheese slices, or, for something truly delicious, use it to glaze pork or bacon.  Grenadine bacon is the food of the gods.
 
2013-11-20 07:44:05 PM

berylman: This isn't exactly deseeding because you are left with a pile of arils still containing seeds but without the rest of the fruit.  I would be more impressed with a mechanical method of just getting the pure tasty red stuff easily.  Strainer and a centrifuge? Fruit bat minions?


I just cut them in half, and run them through a citrus juicer/reamer.

then mix the result with burbon, a bit of lemon juice and a bit of simple syrup
 
2013-11-20 07:45:13 PM

JoieD'Zen: meat0918: For some reason it reminds me how a former friend would "prepare" mango.

She'd peel it, then squeeze the flesh off of it until she had a nice pile of mango mush.

Mango should be peeled and then sliced off.



Slice in through the flat edge around the pit, separating two halves from the pit.  Yes, it's messy.  I cut in at the equator and steer the knife up around the pit.  The losers on youtube just cut the sides off and leave a lot of flesh on the pit.

Now slice through the flesh, but not the skin, it a checkerboard pattern.  Invert the halves and pop the chunks away from the skin.

Wash your hands.
 
2013-11-20 07:47:18 PM
Fast food. Restaurants. Sweets. Trucks. Drinks. Cravings. Deals. Products.
 
2013-11-20 07:48:01 PM

skinink: What a coincidence, that's how I deseed subby's mom when I forget to use a condom.


Did she leave red stains on your fingers? (among other places ...)
 
2013-11-20 07:48:07 PM

lordargent: Pomegranate, one of those foods where the taste doesn't scale properly with the difficulty of eating it.

// Just give me a guava instead, the skin is edible, the seeds are too small and soft to be a bother, and it tastes better than a pomegranate.

[imgs.xkcd.com image 676x584]


xkcd doesn't know how to cut a pineapple.  It's not as easy as rinsing off an apple, but it's not hard.  Cut off the top.  Cut off the bottom.  Stand it up and cut away the outer skin.  Now cut down through the middle.  Take one half and cut it in half, length-wise.  Take one quarter and cut away some of the core, at a 45 degree angle.  Set the pineapple on the new flat surface you just cut.  Cut it again, length-wise.  Cut away whatever core is left.  Repeat for the remaining spears.  Shouldn't take more than five minutes, which is a lot less than the half-hour it takes to eat a pomegranate.  Slap those on the grill for five minutes and thank me later.

You can keep the core parts for garnish in drinks or just chew them up.  They taste good, but are very fibrous.  I wouldn't recommend swallowing them.
 
2013-11-20 07:48:20 PM

lordargent: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Good lord! You're mad as a hatter!

I don't care for sour foods much, and sweetest orange doesn't hold a candle to the sweetest pear.

// tangerines over pears though

TheSopwithTurtle: What barbarism is this? Mangos should be cut, and then if necessary the flesh can be scooped out (or, if you're alone, just eat the flesh straight off the peel).

I'm from the Caribbean, I squeeze and mush mangoes until they're soft in the skin, then I bite a hole in the skin and drink all of the juices vampire style.

Then I peel off strips of skin and scrape the mango off of that.



That sounds cool - I gotta try that.  You probably still need a towel though.
 
2013-11-20 07:48:41 PM

lordargent: and sweetest orange doesn't hold a candle to the sweetest pear.


Now you're just makin' stuff up.

(I know you say you don't like sour but some day try pineapple with lime and salt. It'll open up whole new plains of consciousness.)
 
2013-11-20 07:52:09 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: That graph is woefully unreliable.


The creator of that graph doesn't even attempt to draw people in his cartoons.

I mean, I've laughed at some of his cartoons, but the eejit has an axis in his graph "tasty"-"untasty".

I guess his palate is as two dimensional as his cartoons.
 
2013-11-20 07:55:41 PM
This one might not be so great, but their "How to use a ketchup cup" and "how to eat chinese takeout" videos were neat.
 
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