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(Salon)   The horrors of being a child raised with abstinence-only education   (salon.com) divider line 158
    More: Sick, construction papers, tampons, illiteracy, child rearing, black screen, abstinence education, sleep overs  
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18521 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2013 at 2:50 AM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-11-19 11:58:53 PM
That's actually more a look at the horrors of being raised by sociopaths, but yeah. Abstinence-only education is stupid.
 
2013-11-20 12:12:41 AM

Pocket Ninja: That's actually more a look at the horrors of being raised by sociopaths, but yeah. Abstinence-only education is stupid.


Brain washing is brain washing.
Plus, why would we want girl children able to think on their own?
That's what fathers and husbands are for.
 
2013-11-20 02:55:46 AM
Are they violating the abstinence only policy if they go f*ck themselves?
 
2013-11-20 02:56:43 AM
I pushed open our front door with force, "Mom!" I screamed toward no direction in particular, holding the vowel like a siren. She came out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel. "What are you so upset about?" she asked. "I'm going to have sex one day, just so you know, and I'm going to do a lot of other sexual things too and you can't stop me because I'm an adult and I want to protect myself ... with birth control," I said, my voice raised, my fists clenched.

Oh, get over yourself, you little drama queen.
 
2013-11-20 02:58:04 AM
I never really got the "abstinence only" thing. Teens fall in love, or at least what they feel is love, and there is nothing short of 24 hour supervision that can stop teens from acting out their feelings. It is the absolute core human behavior.
 
2013-11-20 02:58:54 AM
lets see.... who can I blame my failures on except myself?

/ yeah, its stupid, but it didnt cause your failed marriage.  .
 
2013-11-20 03:03:40 AM

Harry_Seldon: I never really got the "abstinence only" thing. Teens fall in love, or at least what they feel is love, and there is nothing short of 24 hour supervision that can stop teens from acting out their feelings. It is the absolute core human behavior.


If you fill them with shame and fear so deep and painful that they can never share those feelings without being overcome with mortal terror, you don't have to worry  quite as much.
 
2013-11-20 03:04:59 AM
How in the holy fark is "abstinence only" "education" not classed as child abuse?
 
2013-11-20 03:12:03 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Oh, get over yourself, you little drama queen.


Oh, get over yourself, you little drama queen. (not talking about her)
 
2013-11-20 03:14:46 AM

Pocket Ninja: That's actually more a look at the horrors of being raised by sociopaths, but yeah. Abstinence-only education is stupid.


Yes, until the part in public school where sex is is a short video on abstinence and nothing else.

Harry_Seldon: I never really got the "abstinence only" thing. Teens fall in love, or at least what they feel is love, and there is nothing short of 24 hour supervision that can stop teens from acting out their feelings. It is the absolute core human behavior.


They could try being ugly and a nerd.  That seemed to work for me and my family.
 
2013-11-20 03:17:38 AM

RatMaster999: How in the holy fark is "abstinence only" "education" not classed as child abuse?


Because it's a religious issue. And that would be OPPRESSION!
 
2013-11-20 03:18:53 AM
Look, there's being deprived of information, and that's a problem, I guess, but this woman's core issue seems to be that she's intellectually incurious to an extent that makes the average Tea Partier look like Descartes crossed with Einstein.

Christ, woman, were there not public libraries in your town?  Mine was twelve miles away and all I had was a bicycle, and I still learned all sorts of shiat my parents and teachers would rather I didn't long before I was a teenager.  And that's not even touching the shiat I learned from kids I met in Church, who were almost actively competing with my Boy Scout troop for "worst behavioral influence of all time".

I know fundies suck, and that's tragic and all, but if you rely on the world to spoon-feed you every bit of knowledge you'll ever need in advance, and never bother to seek information actively, my sympathy for your snowflake-world problems is severely limited.
 
2013-11-20 03:20:19 AM
abstinence only  sex ed it pointless and a waste of time and money.
 
2013-11-20 03:20:38 AM
I want to offer a scholarship for women someday.

It starts the freshman year of high school.The girl goes and gets birth control. For every semester of high school she does not get pregnant, the scholarship will pay for a semester of tuition/books at a local community college.

The scholarship doesn't happen without a receipt for a birth control implant or the shot. When the scholarship starts, you also get a basket of condoms and sex toys.

/your hitachi magic wand loves you
 
2013-11-20 03:25:08 AM
I agree with the point she's trying to make, but it does seem like a little much to blame the failure of your first marriage on it.
 
2013-11-20 03:29:24 AM
I'm betting she was pretty much sleeping with anybody by senior year of HS and throughout college....
 
2013-11-20 03:34:15 AM

SirEattonHogg: I'm betting she was pretty much sleeping with anybody by senior year of HS and throughout college....


So she's a slut for not swallowing all the "Abstinence only" bs they where shovelling? Gotcha.
 
2013-11-20 03:34:50 AM

Harry_Seldon: I never really got the "abstinence only" thing. Teens fall in love, or at least what they feel is love, and there is nothing short of 24 hour supervision that can stop teens from acting out their feelings. It is the absolute core human behavior.


But we can control it, unlike greed. Which is why abstinence only education will work, and communism won't.
 
2013-11-20 03:35:37 AM

grimlock1972: abstinence only  sex ed it pointless and a waste of time and money.


spend it on this instead:
i.neoseeker.com

it'll work better. Get em into magic the gathering too.
 
2013-11-20 03:35:44 AM
Associating sex with the taboo is what causes perversion in the first place.
 
2013-11-20 03:35:49 AM
I usually look forward to articles about sex written by women. But that was an uninteresting letdown.
 
2013-11-20 03:36:33 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: I pushed open our front door with force, "Mom!" I screamed toward no direction in particular, holding the vowel like a siren. She came out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel. "What are you so upset about?" she asked. "I'm going to have sex one day, just so you know, and I'm going to do a lot of other sexual things too and you can't stop me because I'm an adult and I want to protect myself ... with birth control," I said, my voice raised, my fists clenched.

Oh, get over yourself, you little drama queen.


I imagine her then stuffing an entire month's worth of ortho-tricyclin into her vagina while wearing condoms on her fingers
 
2013-11-20 03:37:01 AM

Smoking GNU: SirEattonHogg: I'm betting she was pretty much sleeping with anybody by senior year of HS and throughout college....

So she's a slut for not swallowing all the "Abstinence only" bs they where shovelling? Gotcha.


Yeah. She should have spit.
 
2013-11-20 03:37:19 AM
Well, due I mean wll it goes something like this.
You I super like well it just cant happen and well ; )
 
2013-11-20 03:38:32 AM
 "Tampons would tear your hymen and take your virginity," she explained, "that's how sex works."

I recall that a friend told me something similar back in the 1970s. Yes, she was from a religious family.

She ended up getting pregnant and having an abortion when she was 20.
 
2013-11-20 03:38:52 AM

Jim_Callahan: Look, there's being deprived of information, and that's a problem, I guess, but this woman's core issue seems to be that she's intellectually incurious to an extent that makes the average Tea Partier look like Descartes crossed with Einstein.

Christ, woman, were there not public libraries in your town?  Mine was twelve miles away and all I had was a bicycle, and I still learned all sorts of shiat my parents and teachers would rather I didn't long before I was a teenager.  And that's not even touching the shiat I learned from kids I met in Church, who were almost actively competing with my Boy Scout troop for "worst behavioral influence of all time".

I know fundies suck, and that's tragic and all, but if you rely on the world to spoon-feed you every bit of knowledge you'll ever need in advance, and never bother to seek information actively, my sympathy for your snowflake-world problems is severely limited.


And what if you learned from childhood, that seeking knowledge was a sin? You know, the tree of knowledge? Ven diagram of those families, and ones that demand abstinence only education is a Japanese flag.
 
2013-11-20 03:39:42 AM
I'll never forget the day my mom sat me down and told me sex would kill me, because, you know, the aids.  I was 14 and I am still terrified.
 
2013-11-20 03:45:22 AM
sex education = read a book.  missed the public eduction films.  sick both grades on the day of them.  read the book, already knew pretty much everything in it from peer education (peducation).  honestly, for abstinence ed to work, you pretty much have to be on an island of ignorance and this sounds like it was the case.
 
2013-11-20 03:47:33 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: AverageAmericanGuy: I pushed open our front door with force, "Mom!" I screamed toward no direction in particular, holding the vowel like a siren. She came out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel. "What are you so upset about?" she asked. "I'm going to have sex one day, just so you know, and I'm going to do a lot of other sexual things too and you can't stop me because I'm an adult and I want to protect myself ... with birth control," I said, my voice raised, my fists clenched.

Oh, get over yourself, you little drama queen.

I imagine her then stuffing an entire month's worth of ortho-tricyclin into her vagina while wearing condoms on her fingers


Go on.....
 
2013-11-20 03:48:52 AM
Oh,yea I'm just gonna say I'm dunk as hell and if I contribute=And well not sure what would happen. I'm sure there was more .
 
2013-11-20 03:50:53 AM

Jim_Callahan: Look, there's being deprived of information, and that's a problem, I guess, but this woman's core issue seems to be that she's intellectually incurious to an extent that makes the average Tea Partier look like Descartes crossed with Einstein.

Christ, woman, were there not public libraries in your town?  Mine was twelve miles away and all I had was a bicycle, and I still learned all sorts of shiat my parents and teachers would rather I didn't long before I was a teenager.  And that's not even touching the shiat I learned from kids I met in Church, who were almost actively competing with my Boy Scout troop for "worst behavioral influence of all time".

I know fundies suck, and that's tragic and all, but if you rely on the world to spoon-feed you every bit of knowledge you'll ever need in advance, and never bother to seek information actively, my sympathy for your snowflake-world problems is severely limited.


This is a real douchebag thing to say. She obviously gave it a go of trying to find out as much as she could, did you ignore the fact that she went both to a class sponsored by her school as well as to a woman's wellness centre? The problem wasn't just the difficulty in accessing the information, but it was in the way it was withheld from her.

Really, are you too stupid to understand that the way something is done is often just as important as what was actually done? Can you not logically work out the potential ramifications of this on a young person?

I know most of the comments on here are digital herpes, but no one is looking at your comment and thinking to themselves, "Wow that Jim_Callahan is a real go getter and individualist. He totally figured out everything for himself with no help from anyone else and this girl really should just be like him and shut her whore mouth."

Instead they're just thinking, "What an asshole."
 
2013-11-20 03:51:19 AM
Slut shaming has never worked, except to make a teen feel bad about themselves for having the rotten luck of being born with female and having biological urges she has no control (but plenty of questions) over.

Stop pissing off half of the human population, please. We aren't your pets (unless we want to be, and only then with a safe word involved).
 
2013-11-20 03:54:18 AM

Weatherkiss: Slut shaming has never worked, except to make a teen feel bad about themselves for having the rotten luck of being born with female and having biological urges she has no control (but plenty of questions) over.

Stop pissing off half of the human population, please. We aren't your pets (unless we want to be, and only then with a safe word involved).


banana
 
2013-11-20 03:55:36 AM
I think both the parents and the author of that article need to get a grip on themselves - its just a vagina. Half the world have them - so that means statistically being left handed is more special than having a vagina.
 
2013-11-20 03:59:28 AM

aerojockey: I agree with the point she's trying to make, but it does seem like a little much to blame the failure of your first marriage on it.


I must have missed that part. Where did you see that she blamed the failure of her first marriage on it?
 
2013-11-20 03:59:48 AM

Weatherkiss: Slut shaming has never worked, except to make a teen feel bad about themselves for having the rotten luck of being born with female and having biological urges she has no control (but plenty of questions) over.

Stop pissing off half of the human population, please. We aren't your pets (unless we want to be, and only then with a safe word involved).


Most of that half isn't pissed enough to withhold sex from the males and choose not to marry these backwards conservatives, so why should any of them care what you think?

The men get just as much sex while single as more liberal men, and I don't see conservatives unable to find wives.

Hell the conservative women were probably guilty of the same behavior they slut-shame others for.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2013-11-20 04:02:16 AM
TwistedFark: [...] I know most of the comments on here are digital herpes, but no one is looking at your comment and thinking to themselves, "Wow that [farker's login] is a real go getter and individualist. He totally figured out everything for himself with no help from anyone else and this girl really should just be like him and shut her whore mouth."

Instead they're just thinking, "What an asshole."


I don't wish to congratulate someone on cutting someone down, even if it is fair to do so and is marvelously done, but I do want to tell you that you can deconstruct a poor comment veiled in conceit and disdain that pretends to be superior and intellectual very, very well.
 
2013-11-20 04:04:04 AM

Gyrfalcon: aerojockey: I agree with the point she's trying to make, but it does seem like a little much to blame the failure of your first marriage on it.

I must have missed that part. Where did you see that she blamed the failure of her first marriage on it?


In one of her other articles she seemed to blame her failed marriage on boring sex with a mismatched partner.
 
2013-11-20 04:07:43 AM
This article has a very high 'Jon Katz imagines an Iraqi hacker with a Commodore-64' ring to it. Which it to say - I think it is made-up BS aimed at pulling people's emotional strings.
 
2013-11-20 04:10:29 AM

Smackledorfer: Hell the conservative women were probably guilty of the same behavior they slut-shame others for.


If they didn't feel guilty about it, they wouldn't bother to slut shame others.
 
2013-11-20 04:10:57 AM

aerojockey: I agree with the point she's trying to make, but it does seem like a little much to blame the failure of your first marriage on it.


There's a linked companion piece from the same author. Short version is, she had no sexual chemistry with her husband and it basically made her feel awful and led to their falling out. She believes she would never have gone through with the wedding if she had figured that out before, so it's not so much that the marriage failed, it's that she should never have gone as far as getting married to the guy, and wouldn't have if not for her upbringing.
 
2013-11-20 04:13:19 AM

Coming on a Bicycle: This article has a very high 'Jon Katz imagines an Iraqi hacker with a Commodore-64' ring to it. Which it to say - I think it is made-up BS aimed at pulling people's emotional strings.


It's 2013. No one gets that reference anymore.
 
2013-11-20 04:13:35 AM

TwistedFark: Jim_Callahan: Look, there's being deprived of information, and that's a problem, I guess, but this woman's core issue seems to be that she's intellectually incurious to an extent that makes the average Tea Partier look like Descartes crossed with Einstein.

Christ, woman, were there not public libraries in your town?  Mine was twelve miles away and all I had was a bicycle, and I still learned all sorts of shiat my parents and teachers would rather I didn't long before I was a teenager.  And that's not even touching the shiat I learned from kids I met in Church, who were almost actively competing with my Boy Scout troop for "worst behavioral influence of all time".

I know fundies suck, and that's tragic and all, but if you rely on the world to spoon-feed you every bit of knowledge you'll ever need in advance, and never bother to seek information actively, my sympathy for your snowflake-world problems is severely limited.

This is a real douchebag thing to say. She obviously gave it a go of trying to find out as much as she could, did you ignore the fact that she went both to a class sponsored by her school as well as to a woman's wellness centre? The problem wasn't just the difficulty in accessing the information, but it was in the way it was withheld from her.

Really, are you too stupid to understand that the way something is done is often just as important as what was actually done? Can you not logically work out the potential ramifications of this on a young person?

I know most of the comments on here are digital herpes, but no one is looking at your comment and thinking to themselves, "Wow that Jim_Callahan is a real go getter and individualist. He totally figured out everything for himself with no help from anyone else and this girl really should just be like him and shut her whore mouth."

Instead they're just thinking, "What an asshole."


Oh, no, not me. My thoughts were "Christ, what an asshole." Big difference.
 
2013-11-20 04:15:49 AM

zzrhardy: I think both the parents and the author of that article need to get a grip on themselves - its just a vagina. Half the world have them - so that means statistically being left handed is more special than having a vagina.


I'm left handed and I have a vagina.  I'm must be statistically super special!
 
2013-11-20 04:20:05 AM

lacydog: aerojockey: I agree with the point she's trying to make, but it does seem like a little much to blame the failure of your first marriage on it.

There's a linked companion piece from the same author. Short version is, she had no sexual chemistry with her husband and it basically made her feel awful and led to their falling out. She believes she would never have gone through with the wedding if she had figured that out before, so it's not so much that the marriage failed, it's that she should never have gone as far as getting married to the guy, and wouldn't have if not for her upbringing.


That actually sounds about right. Scare kids off sex, tell them all their lives "Sex is for marriage and will complete you and your only duty after marriage is to have sex to have children," and then you cannot be surprised when they have lackluster sex lives and wonder why their marriages fail.

And as far as everyone excoriating her for not somehow figuring it out by herself before: Clearly you didn't grow up in a small town with oppressive parents and smothering churches and schools where there is NO WAY to find out information like this if nobody in your immediate family tells you. I note that her parents did not allow her computer access--not everyone is a biatchen' Internet rebel and says f*ck you mommy, I'm outta here! the first chance they get. Some are dutiful daughters and sons and never think to disobey.

I give her props for daring to say "birth control" to her mother as young as she did.
 
2013-11-20 04:20:28 AM

ShawnDoc: Pocket Ninja: That's actually more a look at the horrors of being raised by sociopaths, but yeah. Abstinence-only education is stupid.

Yes, until the part in public school where sex is is a short video on abstinence and nothing else.

Harry_Seldon: I never really got the "abstinence only" thing. Teens fall in love, or at least what they feel is love, and there is nothing short of 24 hour supervision that can stop teens from acting out their feelings. It is the absolute core human behavior.

They could try being ugly and a nerd.  That seemed to work for me and my family.


Being ugly would have worked for me, but I did the triple-dipper of ugly, head stuck permanently in a book (aka high school asexualism), and as it turns out I'm gay. Forced abstinence worked until I got to college, where I met wonderful boys...
 
2013-11-20 04:23:17 AM

Jim_Callahan: Look, there's being deprived of information, and that's a problem, I guess, but this woman's core issue seems to be that she's intellectually incurious to an extent that makes the average Tea Partier look like Descartes crossed with Einstein.

Christ, woman, were there not public libraries in your town?  Mine was twelve miles away and all I had was a bicycle, and I still learned all sorts of shiat my parents and teachers would rather I didn't long before I was a teenager.  And that's not even touching the shiat I learned from kids I met in Church, who were almost actively competing with my Boy Scout troop for "worst behavioral influence of all time".

I know fundies suck, and that's tragic and all, but if you rely on the world to spoon-feed you every bit of knowledge you'll ever need in advance, and never bother to seek information actively, my sympathy for your snowflake-world problems is severely limited.


How the hell were Church kids and Boy Scouts a bad influence? Did Scoutmaster Jim introduce you to pot, while that nice altar boy gave you websites of pornography? Or what?
 
2013-11-20 04:24:03 AM
I only learned about sex from public school, in a small southern town in the South. Some things we were taught were accurate and healthful (it's OK to masturbate, it's OK not to masturbate). Some were less so: sex should always be between two married people. But as someone who was very OCD and afraid of things, it didn't help that most of the focus was on venereal diseases. We saw a lot of graphic photos of men whose genitalia were extremely diseased and falling off. And we had to learn the failure rates of each method of birth control--not how to use them. It wasn't really abstinence education, per se, but it did lead you to think that having sex was a fast road to death or having your genitals fall off and that birth control was pretty much useless. I guess you could call it end-of-the-world sex education.
 
2013-11-20 04:27:25 AM

pedobearapproved: grimlock1972: abstinence only  sex ed it pointless and a waste of time and money.

spend it on this instead:
[i.neoseeker.com image 650x370]

it'll work better. Get em into magic the gathering too.




World of Warcraft Sexual Aid

/Not now! My Night Elf is mining.
 
2013-11-20 04:27:50 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Coming on a Bicycle: This article has a very high 'Jon Katz imagines an Iraqi hacker with a Commodore-64' ring to it. Which it to say - I think it is made-up BS aimed at pulling people's emotional strings.

It's 2013. No one gets that reference anymore.


Are you in all actuality claiming that *something* could be obscure on Fark? On FARK?!
 
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