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(Fox News)   New poll shows that if the previous presidential elections could have waited until today, President Romney would win   (foxnews.com) divider line 44
    More: Obvious, humans, Andrew McCarthy, First Lady Michelle Obama, permanent campaign, Common Core, American Bridge, Alison Lundergan Grimes, Dana Milbank  
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653 clicks; posted to Politics » on 19 Nov 2013 at 2:53 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-11-19 01:24:48 PM  
4 votes:

BunkoSquad: Does this disheveled man look like Presidential material to you?

[www.vibe.com image 310x466]


Hey man. He's been unemployed. He knows what struggling families are going through.
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-11-19 01:21:03 PM  
4 votes:
In other news, Fox Noise still doesn't know how the Electoral College works.
2013-11-19 03:31:47 PM  
3 votes:
img.fark.net
2013-11-19 03:07:31 PM  
3 votes:
www.theblaze.com
2013-11-19 01:45:44 PM  
3 votes:
Only if Romney had been suddenly stricken mute in 2012.
2013-11-19 01:33:02 PM  
3 votes:
And if my aunt grew balls, she'd be my uncle.
2013-11-19 01:30:47 PM  
3 votes:
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does this make Sarah Palin president?
2013-11-19 04:31:27 PM  
2 votes:
sorry Libnados but elections have hypotheticals.
2013-11-19 04:29:39 PM  
2 votes:
dudelol.com
2013-11-19 04:27:00 PM  
2 votes:
The house is quiet, and the Romney kids can see the pain coming.  Last year's Thanksgiving was a bust, full of Boston Market and emotional breakdowns.  Ever since then, they've been avoiding their parents' house as Mitt slowly went mad with grief.  The last time they saw him in March, he was wearing a bad approximation of a Patton helmet made of crusty mucus and nothing else.  Now, when they went over to the house, the kids stayed in the car.

The maid sat on the couch, chain smoking, getting paid whether she busted her ass or didn't.  Heaps of uneaten Boston Market dinners were stacked everywhere in different states of decay.  A pair of slacks was stuck to the dining room ceiling.  The doghouse outside had the skeleton of a dog along with a hastily made 'Secretary of Defense' sign that was hopefully written in very sticky peanut-laden mud.

Climbing the stairs, the Romney children realized that there was serious water damage.  The stairs creaked and crumpled, the Asian wood and drywall coming apart at the seams.  They found Mitt in the master bedroom.  His suit was cringled, as if someone had spread a thin varnish of gravy upon it in lieu of bathing.  His snot helmet hung by the closet -- along with a hastily made 'Ovel Orifice' sign in the same manner of the doghouse's -- as Mitt laughed and laughed.  "Look!"  He pointed at the sideways TV.  "If they held the election now, I would the president.  I WOULD RULE.  ME!  JUST LIKE DADDY!  JUST.  LIKE.  DADDY!!"

He grabs a daughter and shakes her so hard that a crown flies out of her mouth.  Mitt dives to the carpet and grabs it.  "Quickly."  He looks to his kids as they stare wild-eyed between the affected daughter and their father.  "I need more of these.  They fuel my time machine.  If I can go back, we can do this!"  He opens his mouth and points at the bloody claw hammer next to some molars on the work table...which is, in reality, the back of an overflowing toilet.  "Now, this might hurt, but I figure the time paradox will restore us all once we regain the White House.  DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?  WE HAVE TO REGAIN THE WHITE HOUSE!  I have written the notes on our ascent right here!"  And he dives headfirst into the brown water of the toilet, bubbling and gurgling for minutes, knocking his teeth off the back of the toilet and masking the sounds of the children running down the stairs, out the door, and into their leased SUVs.

The maid smirks as the tire smoke from the departing children clear.  She lights another cigarette.  If only they stayed fifteen minutes more, they could see the encore of The Passion of the Christ with Mitt's trousersnake with the nail gun as Pontius Pilate.
2013-11-19 04:06:25 PM  
2 votes:
If the 2012 election had happened again 2 days after the first one, Mitt would have still lost.  If the 2012 election had happened in 1960, Mitt wouldn't have been old enough to be on the ticket.  If it had happened in 1760, people would have been confused because we ddin't vote for Presidents then.  If it had happened during the Cretaceous Period, a small shrew-like mammal would have won because they were much more appealing than Mitt.  If it happens again in 3012, Mitt-bot might have a chance, but I'd vote for Fry.

Stupid "what if..." is really really stupid.
2013-11-19 04:03:20 PM  
2 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com

Finally, an excuse to post more Tiny Face Mitt!
2013-11-19 03:36:56 PM  
2 votes:
Weird...  if you click the link in the article, the poll itself has it tied at 47% to 47%.
2013-11-19 03:17:24 PM  
2 votes:
Aww yiss...
static.tumblr.com
...Little Face Romney will never die!
2013-11-19 03:04:28 PM  
2 votes:
i0.kym-cdn.com
2013-11-19 03:02:41 PM  
2 votes:
If my Aunt Desire grew wheels and a pantograph...

whereyat.files.wordpress.com
2013-11-19 02:08:58 PM  
2 votes:
You know, if the election was held now, candidate Romney would have yet another year of income tax returns that he would refuse to release.
2013-11-19 01:36:07 PM  
2 votes:
Why just limit it to the 2012 election? Let's just go back and revisit EVERY presidential election? Forget recent history. What about Martin Van Buren? Or Fatty Taft? Huh?! John Tyler? Millard "The Duck" Fillmore? And Harding? James Buchanan? We could do this forever!
2013-11-19 08:31:42 PM  
1 votes:
Let that be a lesson for the Republicans - you have to lock your candidate in an isolated chamber for 54 months and never let anyone see or hear or even think about their existence. It's the only way to win.
2013-11-19 07:48:32 PM  
1 votes:
Obama stopped campaigning for President, and his poll numbers went down.

Romney stopped campaigning for President and his poll numbers went up.

I think there's a lesson in there somewhere.
2013-11-19 07:10:59 PM  
1 votes:
He LOST get OVER it!
2013-11-19 06:48:37 PM  
1 votes:
Yes, Fox News. Sure RoMONEY would have won.

Now tell us how everything would have been so awesome if the Confederacy had won, or if Luke Skywalker's Proton Torpedoes had missed and the Rebel Alliance was vaporized on Yavin.
2013-11-19 05:20:25 PM  
1 votes:
If the 2000 election were held today, W would lose.
What if Spartacus had a Piper Cub?
Bf+
2013-11-19 04:21:18 PM  
1 votes:
ct.fra.bz
2013-11-19 04:17:11 PM  
1 votes:
If the election were held today and every event of 24, Revolution, Walking Dead, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and Soylent Green happened, it wouldn't matter because the Vogons would have long paved us over.
2013-11-19 04:11:07 PM  
1 votes:
0.media.todaysbigthing.cvcdn.com
2013-11-19 04:05:14 PM  
1 votes:

ItchyMcDoogle: I still dont know how Mass of all states fell for whatever he was selling and elected him. It must have been a hell of a act.


I think we've seen plenty of proof that Mass voters can be just as dumb as any meth-huffing Confederate...

images.politico.com
I mean, look at how stately he looks! He...he....he drives a TRUCK!!!!!
2013-11-19 03:40:01 PM  
1 votes:
New poll shows that if Romney wasn't an unlikeable, arrogant asshole with ever-shifting policies and disdain for middle-class America, he would have won.
2013-11-19 03:33:32 PM  
1 votes:
Being off camera for an extend time could only help Romney's image.
2013-11-19 03:33:16 PM  
1 votes:
That is a serious cry for help right there.
2013-11-19 03:29:44 PM  
1 votes:
Happy belated landslide victory, Republicans!
2013-11-19 03:26:03 PM  
1 votes:
I'd like to take this opportunity to note what a website under the Romney administration would look like:

i29.photobucket.com

That is 100 percent real, by the way.
2013-11-19 03:18:00 PM  
1 votes:
New poll shows that if the previous presidential elections could have waited until today, President Romney would win

Bullshiat.

Also, stop submitting Fox News links. They were butthurt enough last November when their favored winner got told by the American people. Like the Phelps's, they thrive on your attention and crave relevance.

They want you to believe that they are the norm, and not an embarrassingly selfish and superficial aspect of our society.
2013-11-19 03:12:05 PM  
1 votes:
If the 1980 presidential election happened today, Carter would have beaten Reagan, because, you know...Reagan is dead now.
2013-11-19 03:06:00 PM  
1 votes:
Wow, the butthurt is strong on Fox today... wonder what shiatty thing the GOP just did that they are trying to distract from?

Or is this just the regular stirring up of the base?
2013-11-19 03:05:42 PM  
1 votes:
If my Aunt had a dick she'd be my Uncle.
2013-11-19 02:57:49 PM  
1 votes:

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Lando Lincoln: Imagine if we had to endure not one year but TWO YEARS of campaigning. Mother of God.

You mean we didn't? I could have sworn the 2012 campaign began in 2010.


I'm pretty sure the 2016 campaign has been going since sometime in 2011.
2013-11-19 02:18:24 PM  
1 votes:

Lando Lincoln: Imagine if we had to endure not one year but TWO YEARS of campaigning. Mother of God.


You mean we didn't? I could have sworn the 2012 campaign began in 2010.
2013-11-19 02:04:06 PM  
1 votes:
And if they could wait until 2089 when my Reverse Glue Constitutor is complete we could elect President Rafalca. Why do you libs insist on rushing these elections?
2013-11-19 01:56:32 PM  
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2013-11-19 01:47:41 PM  
1 votes:

sigdiamond2000: On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does this make Sarah Palin president?


Potato, Charlie.
2013-11-19 01:43:59 PM  
1 votes:

HawgWild: Why just limit it to the 2012 election? Let's just go back and revisit EVERY presidential election? Forget recent history. What about Martin Van Buren? Or Fatty Taft? Huh?! John Tyler? Millard "The Duck" Fillmore? And Harding? James Buchanan? We could do this forever!


mikeresnick.com
2013-11-19 01:34:13 PM  
1 votes:

sigdiamond2000: On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does this make Sarah Palin president?


This is about a 6. The reliance on a single poll of national voter preference still makes Sarah Palin automatically president forever, but Obama merely has to brush Rafalca's mane and give her some apples.
2013-11-19 01:24:16 PM  
1 votes:
Does this disheveled man look like Presidential material to you?

www.vibe.com
 
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